and again things change. lies and pain. the love left me. went mia and disappeared 2 weeks ago. i tried to hold out hope, but alas no go. he was supposed to be here yesterday, again no show. needless to say i have been .. crying. i cant believe that i trusted him. i dont think i will do that again.. its not worth the pain.

wow what a change of events. through trolls and hills my life has been a up and down. things happen so much and so fast, and then i find myself at the feet of Eryn. He has done so much for me and teaching me things every day. has gotten ppl off my back and.. idk theres a good chance... well hes gonna visit me in march. im not sure if i am excited or terrified lol. pars f me want to run.. a lot of parts do. but some enjoy being able to kneel at his feet and not have to worry about a lot of things. just be. thats all. thought fly through my mind a million a second and i wonder so many things like does he feel the same way, what can i do to make it better.. even if hes lying to me or should i trust him.

so far nolies. no abuse and all i have been is happy. who knows, things may actually be coming together. i love the death outta him just hope that he feels the same way... maybe even a lil bit would be nice.

so.. finding ppl and getting to know more about me which is good. i have a good friend that has known me for a very long time, and today he sent chills down my spine. i consider him a big brother, hes always watched out for me in bdsm and helped with a lot of things. i told him today that i may have a Sir... and hed have to ask now -jokingly of coarse. he said i dont understand, he doesnt conform to my lil community, to my bdsm if he wants me he will take me as long as i exist im his plaything. he will mess with me at his whim. i think my heart hit my throat. he said that i was in his world and i cant get out until he shows em the door.i asked if i jumped in the rabbit hole and he said i was in wonderland way to long,that the world outside had bruned and was gone. i asked then i should stay safe in wonderland ..  he said to run along hed not want his plaything to get into trouble and to behave myslef.

chills. total chills.

i love my big brother.

sometimes i think i need to be forced to become bi... men hurt my head....

my heart hurts.my love of my life and life itself left me thurs.. we were together for 4 yrs. my entire world has crashed down around me. yes i know that ill get over it i know that it but for now it hurts so bad that i cant move. breathe or eat. i dont even know why im on here typing this, i really dont. no one on this site really is close to me.. maybe i just need to vent. or cry.. or..i dont know really.i guess if things dont get better then ... idk.. i just dont thats the scary part of it all.

why does a slave willingly submit to a Master?...

Although the ultimate origin of slut is unknown, it first appeared in Middle English

in 1402 as slutte (AHD), with the meaning "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly woman."^[2]

Even earlier, Geoffrey Chaucer

used the word sluttish (c.1386) to describe a slovenly man; however, later uses appear almost exclusively associated with women.^[2]

The modern sense of "a sexually promiscuous woman" dates to at least 1450.^[2]

Another early meaning was "kitchen maid or drudge" (c. 1450), a meaning retained as late as the 18th century, when hard knots of dough found in bread were referred to as "slut's pennies."^[2]

A notable example of this use is Samuel Pepys

's diary description of his servant girl as "an admirable slut" who "pleases us mightily, doing more service than both the others and deserves wages better" (February 1664

). In the 19th century, the word was used as a euphemism

in place of "bitch" in the sense of a female dog.<sup>[2]

[3]</sup>

Similar words appear in Dutch, German and Swedish dialects meaning "a dirty woman," indicating a common ancestor in Germanic languages. The word entered the colloquial Yiddish

as "akhsluttishkha" meaning "a hag

". It exists in Ukrainian too as slutyj as a loan word from Yiddish

or via the mediaeval Scandinavian Varangian

colonists in Kievan Rus'

. A popular theory connects slut to earlier Germanic forms meaning "slush" or "mud puddle," but this derivation remains in question.

she suppsoes that is what she is.. she has been called that many a time.. so now that You knwo what it it you can identify correctly what she is.

yet another story i recieved.. thank You

I come to you in a room lit only by candles, you are on your knees, eyes cast downward awaiting my direction.  I lift your chin forcing you to look at me, tears streak your eyes because you know that you have been bad.  I silently lift you to your feet and sit in a chair that I have placed in the middle of the room. Bending you over my knee I cuff your hands behind your back, gently I stroke your buttocks and the back of your legs.  Your mind screams in anticipation wanting to get it over with, wanting to feel the pain that you so deserve but knowing that my will is to see you struggle.  I spread your legs slightly dipping one finger in to find the wetness that has already started growing there, deep into you I place 2 fingers, you moan despite yourself.  I place those fingers against your lips and tell you to suck them for me like a good little girl should.  You open your mouth and suck my fingers deep into your throat, knowing that before the night is out you will have my cock in that same place, gagging you into obliviion.  Sucking on my fingers make you more excited then you can stand and you raise your ass up to my  stroking hand.  I laugh at you "Oh my poor baby is so ready for her punishment"  "Yes Master" you whisper to me, "please punish this girl"  I begin with just some slight blows with my hand, catching you first on one cheek and then the other. Over and over my hand comes down causing you ass to turn a nice shade of red.  When I feel you start wiggling beneath me I know that you are ready and I reach over to my table and grab my small handy leather paddle and replace my hand with it.  It stings even more then my hand and before long you are howling for mercy.  "Are you going to behave yourself for your Master'"? I ask. You  beg for forgiveness.  When I think you have learned your lesson I release you and you sink to the floor on your knees in front of me still sobbing.  I look at my feet and you bend to kiss them each one individually and thank me for the punishment.  You tell me that each punishment makes you a better and stronger girl and you will work even harder to please me next time.  I smile at you and kiss one of your tear stained cheeks because I know it's true.  I then go to the toybox and take out some of my favorite toys to use on you.  I will now give you a chance to show me how good of a girl you are ready to be.  I leave you kneeling where you are as I go to the toy box to pull out some of my favorite toys to use on you.  Since tonight has been a punishment night I decide to continue with that and make sure that you know you have been thoroughly used like the good slut that you are.  The first thing I bring out is the arm and leg restraints that will attach your wrists to your sides and your ankles to the head board allowing me full access and you no way to escape.  Then I produce a penis shaped gag which will allow you nothing but muffled pleas which will go unheard by me on this night.  I notice you peeking at me from your position on the floor wondering what I am retrieving so I go ahead and pull out the blindfold and take it over and place it around your eyes making sure that you can no longer observe the weapons which will be used on you tonight.  While I am there I instruct you to open your mouth as I place the penis gag inside feeling your lips and teeth wrap around it, I feel a surge between my legs and know tonight I will enjoy myself with you.  I go back to my toy box even more excited about my plans of use for you tonight and pull out a set of nipple clamps and a belt that I will place around your neck to use for taking away your breath at my whim.
I also pick out several different dildos in various sizes some that vibrate some that are so large it makes even me wonder how they fit, but they always do in the long run.  I place all of my items on the bed and go over to where you are and gently kick you to let you know I am ready for you to move, you know instinctivly to go to the bed and on all fours you crawl to it and climb up laying on your back the way you have been trained to do unless told other wise.  I place the waist band with wrist shackles on you making sure your arms are tight by your side and then attach the nipple clamps, you take in a sharp breath around your gag as you feel the bite but no audible sound comes out.  I take my hand and gently rub around your nipples causing them to swell within the clamps which I know causes you more pain then pleasure but soon you will not be able to distinguish between the 2.  I take my mouth and begin gently biting your breast and stomach placing my legs over yours to let you know you are to be still while I have my way with you.  This is for my enjoyment you are just a vessel that I am using.  I can smell in the air that you are getting turned on desite your self control and I smile to myself at what I have in store for you.  I make my way up to your neck where I lick and suck at it until you are literally twisting your head to try to get me to stay there, I know the feelings are driving you crazy I lick your mouth around your gag and feel you try to lift your body up because you so badly want to feel my lips on yours.  When I have you in the desired state that I want you in I place the ankle restraints on you and pull your legs over your head and attach them to my headboard which leaves your pussy and ass completly exposed to me.  I notice your ass is still bright red from your earlier spanking and I run my hand across the sweet spot where it is the reddest. I know that under the blind fold your eyes have just flow open because you have no idea whether I am about to spank you again or do something even more wicked but you are helpless to prevent any of it.  So you accept your fate.  I start licking and nibbling at the back of your thighs, up and down your legs and even gently rub the bottoms of your feet, the sensations cause chill bumps to rise on your skin.  I take 1 finger and insert it into your pussy to find you dripping wet and you automatically tighten up around me to try to hold me in longer, I chuckle at this as I bring my finger out and wipe it under your nose.  "Do you smell this little girl?" I ask you "I do believe you are wet for your Master"  "I will make sure these slutty holes are well used tonight my little whore" I tell you.  You mmpph me from behind your gag, I tell you I want you sucking on that gag as if you were sucking my cock that was soon going to be replacing my finger.  You nod your head yes in response as I see your cheeks suck in letting me know that you are following my directions.  Next I take one of my vibrating dildo's and ever so gently start to rub it around your clit just enough to cause it to swell and then I move down to your wet opening and slide it in and out lubing it really good before moving to your puckered little ass.  I see you are already twitching in anticipation and I just barely insert it while turning it on full blast.  With my other hand I gently rub your swollen clit but not hard enough to allow you the pleasure of cumming, you try to push yourself harder into my hand but I pull back "this is not for you little girl" I remind you again "You are NOT allowed to cum this night!"  I reach over and grab one of my bigger dildo's and with out removing the one from your ass place it into the wet opening that is sucking in air in front of me, it goes in easliy because at this point you are so wet you don't even need lube, I steady fuck your ass and pussy at the same time making sure not to touch your clit at this time.  I am loving the way you are wiggling in your confines trying desperatly to sneak a feel on your clit.  I slap you hard on the back of your leg to let you know that is not acceptable and you calm down a bit.  I continue my steady barrage on you until I feel like you are stretched out enough for the next onslaught.  I then remove the vibrator out of your ass and replace it with the larger dildo that I just pulled out of your pussy it is slick with your juice and I rub it across your chest before driving it home into your ass.  This time not being gentle.  You brace yourself now because you know that I have only just began having fun with you and the sadistic side is about to begin I reach over and grab an even larger dildo and place it into your swollen pussy and with one quick thrust ram it all the way in, you scream around your gag and raise youself up to meet it. I am now steady fucking you with both of your holes filled simultanously first and then one thrust after another your head is shaking from side to side because the pleasure pain factor is driving you to the brink of insanity, I blow on your harden clit time and time again just to watch it quiver but give it no satisfaction.  When I have had enough of this game I stop leaving the toys inside of you while I pull out my hard cock  and I now place the belt around your neck, you already know what is coming and I feel you try to relax as you prepare to go into sub-space.  I remove the dildo's that are inside of you and climb between your legs as I place the head of my large cock against your opening I wrap the belt around my hand as I prepare to plunge into you at the same time tightening the belt around your neck depriving you of oxygen.   With one quick pull and one thrust I am in and you are pushed into the bed by the force of it. I plunge deeply into you watching your face as your mind tries to distinguish between the pleasure that is coursing through your body and the fact that there is no oxygen being taken in.  When I know that you have had enough I release the belt and your body shakes as oxygen courses through your veins causing my cock to impale you even deeper, your knees are above your shoulders as I thrust deeper and harder into you over and over again, grazing ever so often against your clit just to keep you on the verge of climax but never quite letting you get there, when I think that you have had enough oxygen I take it away again, feeling your body reeling from it all this time you go into sub-space your body no longer being able to distinguish between pain and pleasure you are sailing in a world in which very few people ever get to go.  Over and over I bring you back and take you back in until I know that you are on the verge of exhaustion at which time I whisper in your ear. "Your Master is going to cum now, You WILL NOT cum, do you understand me my little bitch?" you barely shake your head because you are lost in space somewhere but I know that you understand the directive.  I pull out of your wet pussy and slide against your ass, I know that my cock is big but you are far enough under to handle it and I push the head of it in gently to stretch you out, I feel you ever so slightly spread your legs to be able to allow me a better entrance and I use this signal to thrust deep into your bowels, you scream as you bring your whole body into the air to meet my thrust I pull your blindfold off to see your eyes dark with lust staring straight into mine as I grind my cock against you, my cock so deep in you it is hard to even pull it out to thrust in again.  I thrust and grind the whole time staring in your eyes as I feel my orgasm fast approaching, as it hits me I tighten the belt around your throat one last time to remind you that I am the boss and you had better not cum.  After I was thoroughly finished with my orgasm I pulled out of you with a hard sucking pop.  I then place my cock above your face and sit down letting my juices run down your face and around your gag.
"You like that little girl?" I ask you. "You want to taste your Master's cum don't you",  you can't even answer at this point and you lay there staring up at me my cum smeared across your face.   I undo your legs and bring them down just to reattach them to the foot of the bed leaving you still totally restrained.  I then cover you up and tell you that you have been redeemed for your crime and tell you to have a goodnights sleep and I gather up my toys and put them on the sink for you to clean up in the morning and I kiss your forehead and leave you in peace.

another wonderful story from a Master.. mmmm 


I had known her since she was born. I was just a kid
myself, back then, but there was something special about
her. I saw her grow into a teasingly innocent young
woman and one day I realized that I just had to have
her.

It took two years to get all of the pieces into place.
And even then, the plan was aborted six times before it
finally worked.

This time was the charm.

I drove my 'World Express' van to her house where I knew
she would be home alone. The large crate I was
'delivering' was supposed to be computer parts for her
father. She believed me and let me in.

After she was unconscious I loaded her into the crate
and kidnapped her in plain sight of her neighbors and
every passing car. No one suspected a thing. My felony
looked just like any other delivery you see all day
long.

I drove to a nearby alley, stripped the markings off the
van and then drove my now non-descript white van back to
my house.

Julie awoke comfortably secured into the hanging chair I
had designed for just this occasion. Her arms were
secured to the armrests and her legs were spread eagled
to reveal her body to my prying eyes. Of course, the
obligatory gag and blindfold had also been employed.

She struggled at first, but then tired of the fight and
resigned herself to her situation. I just sat in the
room and watched her for a few hours. I enjoyed the
thought of having her charms all to myself.

She jumped when I first kissed her naked tit and then
sucked the pert little nipple. I could hear her crying
and decided that that just wouldn't do. I used a squirt
bottle and fed her some of the very special stimulant
that I had compounded from a number of items I bought
over the Internet. The gag was constructed with a valve
that prevented her from spitting it out so she had no
choice but to swallow the concoction.

I came back twenty minutes later and observed the flush
to her pale skin with a feeling of success. Her pussy
had swollen up with need exactly as I had meant for it
to do. When the vibrator came in contact with her clit
she about launched out of the chair! It took her another
few minutes to start to react to the stimulation of the
vibrator, but then she began to hump it with her need.

My own need was demanding to be sated, but I had one
more thing yet to do...

I could only imagine her confusion as she sought her
sexual release at the hands of a captor. Yet it was
clear that her liberty was not her first priority
anymore. She whimpered every time I withdrew the
vibrator and then moaned with relief when I brought it
back to her eager slit.

I turned the vibrator all the way up and held it to her
steaming sex and pushed her over the edge. She fairly
writhed with the fury of her release and her red haired
little snatch was soaking with the result of her
newfound lust.

Already naked and hard as a rock, I eased up to her
crotch and touched her with just the head of my
throbbing cock at her pussy. I heard a murmur of
complaint as I took her by the hips and worked my dick
into her wanton body. I met up with a resistance and
realized that the object of my desires was still a
virgin! For a moment, a brief moment, I considered
letting her go. But my cock wouldn't hear of it! I
listened to her whimpers as I butted against her vault
door with my crowbar, and then I seized her tender hips
and forced myself into her silken depths. Under the
influence of my compound I heard her both moan and
whimper from my penetration of her innocence.

I pushed her to where the hanging chair would swing her
body back at me each time I thrust, forcing her to fuck
me. I ground myself into her crotch every chance I got
to try to get a response from her, but all she would do
was whimper from my assault.

The need in my balls wouldn't wait anymore. She screamed
into the gag as I pistoned her tender body with
increasing ferocity. Every time I rammed it home I'd
feel her cringe and that would make me just ram it home
even harder the next time. I finally just held her by
the hips and drove it in as deep and hard as I could as
a river of my cum blasted right into her pussy again and
again. It was the best orgasm of my insipid life!

I held my cock in her crotch as her pussy contracted
around it - milking my cum into her womb. I finally let
it fall out after maybe five minutes and let her body
have a rest. My sperm flowed out of her freshly broken
pussy and freely dripped on the carpet below.

I sat back to gather my senses and think about what
would be next for my young prisoner. I had two weeks off
from work and I knew it would be the best two weeks
vacation that I'd never tell anyone anything about.
Ever.

this is a real conversation i had with a "Master" and of Gorean decient as well.. see what You think....
"Thank goodness there are girls in MO with good looks and a good attitude , I was getting concerned! "
"lol unfortiunitly i am taken Sir.. smiles.. "
"lucky man "
"yes,smiels why dont you tell Him that.. i donno if He knwos that lol "
"not me I want him to fail. I think I would enjoy meeting his kajira "
"You are Gor?"
"I am an unusual story in 1973 while on a submarine going to the Med I was introduced to lifestyle gor. I have gatherings and plan to do the same after the move. You do a nice nadu in that pic except for the pesky clothes "
"that is tower :| "
"Lol I saw the knees together, I was just going to give you a hard time about why would a girl as fine as yourself be doing tower "
"because i wa snot in a sexual peosition.. ihad no Master i was poseing for.. and no reason. "
"I would love to see you nadu, you are a mans kajira and should kneel as one"
"eh "
"don't agree "
"y not? "
"Sprite, you know why you are a mans kajira. Look at the pictures, full lips, hips and ass made for a mans pleasure. Look at your profile see what you enjoy and desire?"
"blushes.. i have had 2 kids and is fixed now.. so.. that isout of the question.. but.. i.. um..... that is.. "
"On gor the girls have slave wine here we have operations, had a vascectomy myself long ago. That is really beside the point when it comes to pleasure. You look like a kajira that is made to have a master in the saddle between your thighsbor behind you while your in she-sleen. So yo never took a photo nadu?"
"i did but was deleted when my comp crashed "
"That is a damn shame you were designed for nadu and of course sula and shesleen "
"Sir wiht all due respect i wsa designd for wnat Papa wnats me.. anyway.. i amnot paga slave. in trainign to be a red silk. still white.. has nto been taken by her MAster yet.. so tower is aproperate for girl "
"I assume your master is not local then because if he was he would have taken care of that. "
"i gave You His name.. You should have read where Hes from.. not quit observent for one Your age are You Sir "
"sprite, I didn't look because it didn't matter, I just did look however and I was correct. If you are willing to wait for him to save up to come see you I believe the fire in your belly will consume you by then. Howevere I will wish you well. "
"as Youwish. a good slave waits for her MAster.. she does not discount His thoguht nor questions His motives.. i will wait for Him i will not betry His collar and i will kneel at his feet someday "
"Yes she does, every good kajira deserves her master but the nights are long and 100 miles to West Virginia when the flames roar in the belly but no hose is there to extinguish them. I should be out that way in 2-3 weeks.  If you find yourself desiring to serve in the way of the kajira let me know"
"if i betray His trust ad the bond i agreed to that will make me no better the a fake and what gives slave a bad name.. thank YOu for the offer but alas i am His and His alone i will not marr His good name nor will i allow him to question my integraty.. im sorry my good Sir.. i must respectfully decline Your offer "
"It is okay pretty, I am sure he is as loyal to you as you are to him. You are young and have plenty of time to play online before needing to concern yourself with a mans real touch"
"if ones bond is true .. no need to feel a touch.. its the heart and mind more important then the physcal touch.. i would give up any physcal touch inthe world to knwo that Papa love sme .. smiles and i knwo he does "- see what i mean about Tops???? no respect for others.. anyway thougt this was a bit interesting