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I suppose this is the appropriate area in which I should write something fantastic about myself. I figured that out all on my lonesome thereby offering evidence of my stunning grasp of the blatantly obvious.
This is correct, mates and maybes, let my diatribe of self-praise begin!
Quite so ever alone, done with the relationship thing. I'm not involved in the lifestyle anymore, but I do like speaking with those still involved. That being said! Here is a cliffnote guide to the me I be:
* I hate mimes.
* Mimes are not overly enamoured of me.
* I'm vertically challenged.
* I am employed.
* I like "Ernest" movies. I said it, I meant it. I rather find him hilarious.
* I have never solved a rubix cube without peeling the stickers off. Dishonourable, yes, but I'm honest about it.
* I am a natural ginger as if that matters in the least to anyone on the face of the planet. (I'm reaching here, I'll admit it)
* Sarcasm makes my inner child snicker maniacally.
* I haven't quite outgrown the petulant pleasure I find in rolling my eyes. I shan't explain it away, I'll just admit it.
* I have it on very good authority that I don't feel great to fuck, but I'll try anything... Hopefully that makes up for my blaring inadequacies.
* I detest improper grammar, most especially "text talk". Please, if you are unable to spell properly, pass me by. Seriously. Let's make that an order, not a request.
* Pretentious diction makes me wet.
* Intelligence is an absolute prerequisite to verbal discourse. If you're a twit, refer to the "improper grammar" edict previously stated.
* I detest "Twilight" and everything "Twilight" related. Vampires are undead parasites, they are not Calvin Klein underwear models with a monk-like conscience and an OCD addiction to recycling with a decidedly "Save the Planet" ethos.
* Star Trek is better than Star Wars.
* I am not impressed in the least with your cock size or Visa Platinum limit...if you wish to pique my interest, send me a photograph of your MENSA certificate.
* I am a gamer. That is correct. If it has elves, aliens, trolls, wookies, invasions, centurions, blades, vampires or "frag counts"...I'm all over that like cheap on government cheese. If you're not familiar with such jargon as "raid", "instance", "boss", "talent tree" or "respawn point"...I fear we are destined for the brick wall of incompatibility.
* I would literally sacrifice vital organs for the opportunity to do horrible things with Vin Diesel's voice - NOTE: I made no promise stating aforementioned vital organs would originate from within...ME.
*
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