Shit.  Well, thanks to Budget Rental for hiding the fact that you need to be twenty-one to even sit behind the wheel of their trucks.  How the fuck does anyone under twenty-one move out-of-state?  Well, everyone in the WORLD has friends and family that are at their disposal, right?  Of course.  -_-

Yeah, my girlfriend and I need to figure out how we're going to get from Salt Lake to Spokane now, with all of our possessions in tow...

Everyone cross your fingers, we have our eyes on a very cute little apartment, and hopefully we'll be getting it.  ♥  Spokane, here we come~

First play session is on Thuuursday~  I'm an excited girly.  <3

Nyan!  ^ ///w///^  I have a Dominant for now and I am a happy babygirl.  ♥

So I found this guy on who used to go to my high school, and I have had a ridiculously huge crush on him ever since then.  Naturally, I still feel that way.  We've also had... some conversation, two years ago, that steered in the implicit direction of sex (especially given I'd been drinking, so I was acting like a giggly ditz -- this was through text messaging, mind, which is why that never came to fruition.  Anyway... so our current speaking has signs that lead me to believe he has some kind of interest, but I could just be reading too far into it.

Anyone have any... suggestions on how to not be terrified about implying sex?

I feel like such a pervert.  When I'm touching myself, I always cum harder if I wet myself...

-Vali

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/index.php

You Scored as Submissive

Submissive              ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ 96%

Experimental            ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯ 93%

Sadist                      ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯ 82%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯ 75%

Bondage                  ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯ 71%

Degradation             ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯▯ 64%

Masochist                 ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯▯ 64%

Switch                      ▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯▯▯ 54%

Dominant                 ▮▮▮▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 25%

Vanilla                     ▮▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 11%

So excited!  Like I said I would, I did get my gym membership for this month, hurray ~

I also got a cute new sailor-style pin-uppy dress ( thin white and black horizontal stripes, red neck and arm trim, little fake pockets with gold buttons ), and it's making me think about posting up another Craigslist article.  n ///n  I reeeaaally want to find someone to ageplay with ( so much, so much! ) especially now that I have a cute dress whose skirt would puff out in the most perfectly adorable way with a diaper underneath it.  > ///w///<  Sorry, sorry, I'm just a pervert ~

//flounces away

( I also got mock-boy panties that would make it only better ~ )

-Vali

I'm excited for next month; I'll be able to get my gym membership ( after a ton of other things that I need more, unfortunately, but still ).

-Valdete

I'm still in Utah!  I'll be here until sometime in October, probably.  :P  Catch me while you can!

-Valdete

I can't wait until the day that I get to make a post for being bred on here.  It sends shivers up my spine just thinking about it!  Being able to make a post, requesting attractive, able-bodied sorts to fill me with cream again and again and again...  It's enough to make me melt.

-Valdete

Mmmm... I want to sub for somebody so baaad.  It's driving me batty.

-Violette

I'm totally excited.  <3  A friend that I met on Craigslist and I are going to be making a dungeon out of an extra room in his basement.  He's also the friend who got me totally hooked on Game of Thrones ~

Also, I might be having an experience with a friend's golden retriever some day soon...  <33

So, I've been thinking about the possibility of being a pro-sub, though it's obviously juggled with how confident I would be with allowing myself to submit to strangers, and submit to being the approximate of a call girl ( with the added downside of how I don't have a dungeon of my own, which means that I can't host, which automatically drops the popularity that I don't even have yet ).  So tell me, The Rest of the World, what would you think of me being a pro-sub?

Since it won't let me put this in my profile, for some reason, here's my newly-intended profile description.

What a twist! Assuming that most of you don't know, between the ages of fifteen and seventeen, I lived a transgendered life, switching back to girly dress, name, and mannerisms to more easily fit in at my newer school (little is worse than dreading to explain why you want to be called another name, and why you dress the way you do).  I vowed then that when I reached college-age, I would take a few years off to transition until I could pass.  I do not yet pass, but I also do not feel confident about identifying as a male completely, willing to admit that there is quite a lot of myself that enjoys being a little girl, a damsel in distress, or an otherwise beautifully tempting maiden, and I do have a fondness for dresses (even if I did transition completely, this probably wouldn't change; it would be my dream to be able to slip on a dress and not pass as a female, and has been for many years).

As such, my statement is that I now identify as a genderfluid transboi.  The time is more likely to come when I slip into identifying as a boy that going back to identifying fully as a girl, hence the preference for the male.  However, feel free to contact me by whichever pronoun you would prefer.

Dreadfully your's,

-Violette / Valdete

Call me: Valdete as a boy ; Violette as a girl.

Currently seeking: Online micro-management / real-time meetings > training / real-time punishment > chastity / sex toy training.

Realize: I am in an open engagement with the most lovely woman I've ever met.  Her preferences come first, and I need her permission to allow me to spend time with anyone I meet online.  My life with her and my BDSM / training / slave life are distinctly separate; she is fine knowing about it and wants to know what happens generally, but she won't be participating with anyone I meet.

Realize: I am willing to be Dominant to females, but have no interest in submissive males.

Realize: I might be willing to relocate to the Bay Area ( actually, I have intent to, so it would be a benefit ), but not likely anywhere else.

Please: Read my profile before contacting me.

Please: Do not ask me to cam; I will (probably) not.

Please: Do not expect me to talk to you on the phone; I hate the phone.

I haven't made a new profile in some time ( unfortunately, this is my second time saying this, as the last save decided to not go through for some reason ).  Currently, I'm back to wanting slave-esque training.  I would like to be trained, essentially, to be a living piece of art.  Micro-managed to make my body perfect at risk of punishment, trained in posture, trained in slave-girl posing (http://www.restrainedelegance.com/preview/lexicon1/icons/index.php

 ), trained in strength and endurance tasks, and otherwise to be a vision of perfection for whoever deems me a worthy pupil.

I'm eighteen-years-old, living in Holladay, UT, with my fiancee's parents, meaning that I can't host or have people over.  I'm well-proportioned, with too much extra flab in my upper arms and stomach, but have been told that I have curves to die for.  I have short brown hair with two long braids at my temples, brown eyes, and golden-tan skin.  One of my greatest BDSM-related passions is ageplay, as I will always enjoy being pampered and taken advantage of as though I'm nothing more than a child.

I also regret to admit that I'm very shy, which is why I want to try out an online-relationship type of thing first, in the hopes that I'll be less shy around the person who I might meet.  I'm very open to giving information and answering most questions over the internet, but I'm much more shy and awkward in person, due to a lack of recent social interaction.  If we've agreed to do something beforehand, it's also safe to say that I would enjoy being forced into it if I hesitated.

As I've gotten lots of questions about some of the things that I'm interested or curious about on the left, I'd like to first say, I'm pretty open.  My only hard-hard limits (this list will probably grow just a bit, but is short for now), are: Hair-pulling, under-the-bed restraints, scat, breast and nipple torture, and any watersports that involve being urinated on or having urine in the mouth.  I really don't like tickling, either; it's not a playful 'stop', it's very serious.

My curiosity about diaper play and watersports are co-mingling.  I've had a lingering fantasy for quite a while about ageplaying in a setting of being not fully potty-trained, and to have being diapered be a punishment for not being a 'big girl', involving mostly only bed-wetting, panty-wetting, or diaper-wetting.

As for hypnosis, I have been curious about age regression hypnosis for a while now, and would be very interested in finding someone who I could build a trusting enough relationship with to trust with something such as that, but I'm not sure if that will actually ever happen.

I am also terribly interested in pet play, as I don't even have a bit of experience with it.

In regards to the male-aspect:  As a boy, my play-types differ, though not a lot.  You're more likely to find my masculine self enjoying being the Dominant role, and would probably be the most appealing for any Dominants with a particular enjoyment of humiliation.  There's nothing that makes me feel more degraded and humiliated as a boy than to be treated like a child, especially without giving direct consent.  'Non-consensually' being forced into diapers, made to ask permission to use the bathroom, follow along quietly and be sure to hold hands; it all turns my face red and my legs into jelly.

Because I can tell you: No matter how much you see a beautiful young woman in those pictures, I feel to my core like a crossdresser, and exploiting that could be fun for more than just you.

Well, back in Salt Lake City, trying to get things up and atem for... I don't know; trying to get things back to a forwardly motion instead of just allowing them to stagnate.  Blech.

In the meantime, I'd love to find some more friends and the like, people to hang out with in whatever ways~  People to smoke with would be fun, too~  ;P

Fuck my life.

I want to transition, yes.  I want to get on hormones as soon as I feel comfortable enough to do so, yes.  Problem?  I want to have kids, too.  Aside from forever widening my already-wide hips, this will also mean that it will be multiple more years before I can fully transition, as a child will be happening and will be more important.  ( Note: starting Testosterone does cause infertility, though it is typically 'temporary' and will return if it's stopped; once I start, I don't want to stop. )

What a conundrum.  Dammit, why don't we live longer...?

For those interested, I'm desperately seeing a live-in, training-towards-TPE Dom/sub relationship of some sort, 50s Household or slave-training or otherwise.  Though I'm not available outside of San Francisco, which does put a damper on things...

-whine-  God, I'm so pathetically horny, all the damn time.  I crave being used by multiple people at once so, so much, and as each day moves forward, I crave that contact more and more.  It's driving me insane!  I want to be used from all directions and all sides, no mercy as for when I want to stop, or when I get tired, or when it's too much...

Here's a little gem for anyone who's been bothering to read through my journal posts when they appear: I have a giant fetish for being made to do sexual favours in cars, whether moving or parked.  Especially when I'm high.

For those interested in learning more about me and my strange, ever-evolving lifestyle, here's a link to my fun blog: http://becomingvaldete.xanga.com/

♪ 'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word! and, love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night! and, love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves.  This is our last dance.  This is ourselves... under pressure. ♫

Got approved for MediCal.  <3  Now I just have to sit and wait until my card comes.

To anyone who's curious, my birth name is Violet.  I go by Violette aaas... I find it to be a prettier name, and it's also the name of my ageplay persona, sounding more girly and innocent to mine ears.  <3

-Violette

Tada~  Updated/changed my profile again, as I noticed recently that what I wanted wasn't at all what I was telling people that I wanted.  So, anyone interested in an update, go peek!

Also, still homeless, but definitely happier than I was a few weeks ago.  I'm currently staying on-off with my girlfriend in her dorm at USF, and will soon be also staying in whatever shelter I can find a bed in in the Mission.  How fun?  Ugh, yeah right.  Well, regardless, a place to sleep is a wonderful offer, and I might hesitantly offer myself in payment, or at the very least, my company, if it is desired.

-Violette ♥

-blushblush-

I really, really want sex...  -puffs cheeks-  Well, sex, play, so many other things...  I just wish that I could find someone close who was nice and actually got to know me at least a bit, or that one of the people I like wasn't so far away...  -pouts softly-

Because I would love dinner 'n' talkings and methods of intoxication, followed by an evening of unexpected, tauntingly delicious play of any sort.  Hmmph.

Hihi everyone.  Umm... I guess I thought that I should inform the people that I know (and I suppose the ones I don't, though this probably doesn't relate to them) that I won't be online as much as I used to be, I don't think, on account of being homeless now.  <3;;

I had to leave school 'cause of my emotional problems, and now I don't have anywhere to live, since all of the people I know in the city have lots'a problems that keep them from taking care of me.  Well... now's as good a time as any for a live-in relationship, ne...?

Heh... heh.....

-Violette

Why do so many dominants seem to think that it is necessary to use CAPS LOCK at all times?  And submissives, for that matter...

-Violette

As a more-personal, less-complainy journal entry, I went to enjoy some retail therapy with half of the rest of the money I have to my name (I'm going to try to keep the last hundred locked away, there in case of emergencies or the sudden need for a drink when I am in no place to find one for free).

In doing that, I got a Gemini-flavoured Zippo lighter (ghee!), lighter fluid, a Venetian-styled mask, a strap-on, pink-jelly-dolphin buzzy toy, and a pack of Camel Turkish Gold's.  <3  It made me feel better (though a bit worse, considering I shouldn't have spent that money), especially considering all of the shit that life has been throwing at me recently.

I'm also greatly looking forward to the Folsom Street Fair (and NaNoWriMo, but that's unrelated!), and if my profile picture remains that of myself in the red dress and fishnets, you've got what'll probably be my outfit for it, too~

There, it shall be my honor to meet a very experienced and intelligent Master (as well as his slavegirl) who may take Dani and myself under his wing for (possible 24/7) couple-training in his poly-household.  <3  Well, not there as-in in-the-midst-of-the-fair, but at a predetermined location, obviously.  I'm also quite excited to meet Bridget when she comes for her vacation this month, for lots of treats and movie-watching and cuddles.  <3

See you soon~

-Violette

There are so many mean Dom/me's on here.

I mean, even I can kind of understand the need / want for humiliation play and to be degraded (though I seem to prefer it less than most), but does that mean that they have to talk down to EVERY person they speak to?  Is it too hard to find more Doms (such that I've found <3) who are caring enough to not constantly treat someone like dirt if that's not what they want?  Who, if their sub/slave is hurting or needs to be cared for, they'll lay down their whips and pride and care for them, one human being to another?

To go along with this, I still can't understand people who want a slave with no sense of self.  To paraphrase something I read on another's journal, if a slave has no self-respect, then how does their respect for you mean a damned thing?

-Violette

There's a thing that I feel that peoples online hasta start realizing 'bout submissives, as serious or not-serious as they may be...

Which is that jus' 'cause they want t'be Your subbie doesn't mean that allofasudden all of their real lives and vanilla things-they-got'ta-do are going to completely vanish away!  They still have school or work or all'a these other things, 'n' jus' 'cause they can't expose themselves to you right then an' there as soon as they get online doesn't mean that they're bad subbies or anythin' else.

Also.

Jus' 'cause a subbie actually wants a specific kin'a Dom, doesn't mean that they're not submissives because'a it!!

Thankies.

<3

-Violette

This is completely unacceptable.

I have always (or at least, for a longlong time) had problems with my weight and, certainly, with my self-image.  Thankfully, my fiancee has spent much of her time sweetly and lovingly complimenting me and otherwise making myself feel good about myself - too good, apparently.

In allowing myself to be comforted by what she said, I submitted to the idea that I was attractive, if not to myself, then to her, and perhaps other people as well.  In fact, it seems that other people seem to feel that same way, too (or so they've told me).

However, upon a statement (cruel though it may have been, it did open my eyes) from someone whom I spoke to online, I supposed that I would submit to looking up my BMI, something that I stupidly do every now and again.  (Stupid, I say, because I've had relapsing eating problems for around four or five years that are very easily triggered.)

32.  With obesity starting at 30, I find myself TWO POINTS OVER THAT.  It was alright when I was at 25, 27, but this is completely unacceptable.  I will not let myself be that.  I will not be a BBW.  I will not, I will not, I will NOT.

Well, I certainly hope that you're all happy~

'Cause after copious amounts of insults and other attacks resulting from the fact that my profile was too long-winded (I suppose), I replaced it with, instead, two lists.  Who I am, and what I want.  I just hope that I won't be greeted with the same response that I was given last time...

O-oh... damn...

Well, looks like that trip that I was so excited for isn't going to happen.  I guess that that means that I'm going to have another day / more money to just spend on whatever, but... still.  I was rully looking forward to it...

...damn...

Ah, turning eighteen has brought with it more changes than I had ever before anticipated.  <3

Yet, here I find myself, reaching adulthood and thusly finding an outlet through which I may once again reconnect with my own inner child, reach the innocence that I lost so many years ago to harsh words and long, sleepless nights.  And... despite my initial skepticism, perusing the internet to entertain my head and make my heart pound as my self-consciousness was crushed beneath the weight of a thousand compliments.

And now I find myself set up to take a trip, where I'll have a chance to feel myself controlled and manipulated by the first male for whom my heart flutters and cheeks heat.  I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...