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as much as i get frustrated with some of the men on this site, im a slave. I'll always be a slave and im looking for a Master. |
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I give up! i give up on finding a Master. i give up on finding a relationhip. i give up on bdsm in general. |
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I'm in the process of job hunting, that's why I asked someone to hire me. I'm not looking to sell myself or anything like that. |
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Someone hire me please!!! |
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Ive been single for a while now and im starting to question my role in this lifestyle. Im submissive that hasn't changed, but do I want a Master/slave relationship, D/s relationship, Top/bottom relationship. I haven't had any in so long im questioning my wants and needs. |
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yeah!! I got my computer back. now I can chat again |
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Hello, just a quick note my computer died so my online acess is limited. Call or text me please |
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cant someone live in my area that wants to spank me.....is that too much to ask? |
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i like browsing the pics here on this site. i have come to notice there are alot of Doms in Virginia (only one im interested in though), trans in Texas and male subs in Conn. |
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Im falling hard. Scared to death. I want this to work. |
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I know who i am, just because im not who YOU want me to be doesnt make me any less of who i am. |
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Im not looking for the guy that sends me an email saying ...hello Bitch... Or nice udders....or send me a pic of your tits..just grow up. |
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wow....people from my past are just popping up. |
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Why is it when i search for someone in my area the same 10 people come up? I know there are more than 10 people in the capital district in this lifestyle and on this site. |
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I'm single again. This looking for a Dominant/Master is hard work. |
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You know the saying "becareful what you wish for" well now i understand it. |
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I believe i have met the man of my dreams......... |
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I didnt mean another relationship ended..just another Dom went "poof". He was here and talking one min and gone the next. |
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Another Dom bites the dust............ |
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Here we go with a new year. lets see what exciting things it brings. |
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ever have a fantasy that you arent sure you want to make a reality? what if you do want to make it a reality...who do you trust to guide you? i dont know who on this site is real anymore. I meet people and i gravitate to them, im attracted to them, but then they disappear or say and do something that makes me think they are playing. I want to meet someone face to face. |
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i do not like long distance relationships. The hit or miss of a phone call you try to put everything into. Playing phone tag, getting interrupted by dropped calls. I want a real life, face to face everyday relationship. Im not a patient person. |
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This is not my writing..it just hit home for me
Do not question why it makes you feel the way you do, merely accept that it does. The right glance, the right line, the wrong thought sets off something deep and powerful inside of you. Are these desires normal? Perhaps not, which makes you all the more aroused. Rather than fight it, accept that you need it, that by some twisted logic, you deserve it. Take both fear and relief in the fact that it will happen to you. That the immediate discomfort and shame you'll be made to endure is nothing compared to the unrelenting need that first drove you there. And if the weight of the surreal experience grows too daunting for you, take comfort in the knowledge that control has been taken from your hands. |
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I fucked up. I am truely sorry that I allowed myself to get distracted from my task. I will work harder next time and not have this happen again. Thank you for your patience with me Sir. |
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What a wonderful weekend. so relaxing and just so much fun. |
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im so tired of meeting lying, MARRIED men on this site. Getting emails from your wife is not fun for me. Im going to go psycho on someone someday for something like this and they'll make a lifetime movie out of it. lol Im just tired of being lied to. |
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Had a great time at the Flea and got some awesome shopping in to boot! |
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going to the fetish flea...gonna have some fun. |
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I want to wish everyone a happy healthy New Year. I am going to a party and i hope to have fun. No, i PLAN on having fun. I wantto start this New year off right! |
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I joined a group..hesitently..on called Massgangbangs. i dont know that ill ever actuially do one but it has been a fantasy. i wonder if there are men that want a plus sized women for this? what type of men join groups like this? im curious |
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why do i enjoy pain?...let me add to this. i enjoy pain mixed with pleasure. i dont enjoy pain just as pain. at least not that i know of |
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why do i like humiliation? |
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even though im single, i have such a blessed life. i have a great, challenging, job that pays my bills. i have wonderful family and friends. i have wonderful kinky friends that help me in my times of need. single isnt so bad. |
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between work and school i have very little free time. i love scheduling a beating every once in a while to keep me focused. :) |
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love a good caning to top off my week! |
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it seems i need to clarify something. i am not looking for a relationship. i still like to be beaten. i guess im looking for a play partner. |
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single, female, masochist,submissive......looking to be beaten...any takers?? |
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THANK GOD it is supposed to get into the 30's and 40's this week. i need to melt all this snow. i have to move and i want this stuff gone before i do! even though naked snow angels was fun. a once in a lifetime experience, ill never do again. lol |
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The down side to a really really good beating...is you want it again. lol |
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There is nothing like a freshly beaten ass to make me smile. The feeling everytime i sit down, reminding me of the wonderful beating. The marks, which im sure i'll have, and bruising looking so beautiful. Im loving my life right now. |
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Wishing everyone a Happy New Year! I'm starting off the new year right. Im thinking my life is going in the right direction. Hope everyone else has a wonderful year. |
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im getting alot of emails from people reguarding my journal entries. So i thought id try to clarify somethings. i have been burned in the past on this site. The way i see it who hasnt. For every 1 true person on this site there are 5 -10 fake ones. I think the majority of them are funny actually. Im single, submissive, slave, female. i am in love with 1 man, but he will not return this love, so i move on. |
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Please take time to look at my new pics. My friend Shy is the photographer. If anyone is looking for new profile pics please feel free to contact her..she is great and reasonable rates. shysights@yahoo.com
Hisshy on |
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So maybe we cant choose who we love. I can, however, choose who i invest my time and energy in. Someone i love or someone that loves me? easy choice |
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We can't choose who we fall in love with, i've always believed that. Do we get to choose who we love? Can i make a concious effort and decide not to love someone? Is there a switch somewhere inside me that i can turn off? I don't know how to cope with this. After all that has happened,i still love Him. I am trying to making a concious effort to let Him go. Yes i love Him, but does He love me? That is the important question. |
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i have a list of 10 kinky things i want to do before i die. i cant bring myself to say 5 of them out loud. lol |
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OMG! this is just not even funny anymore. right after i posted this i got 2 new emails from switches. please stop. im not interested in switches. |
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1 more liar weeded out. i keep meeting married, switch, submissive men. Why cant Men read my profile and believe that i know what i want and need. I do not want to switch or to be your Mistress. I'm not into other females either. So please leave me alone if you arent a Dominant MALE. |
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i was watching tv and the guy had a list of 25 things he wanted to do before he dies. got me thinking...What are the 10 kinky things i want to do before i die? im going to have to think about that. so all you out there..what 10 kinky things do you want to do before you die? |
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im having a good time chatting with people ive met on this site. it is frustrating that so many live so far away. im making some good friends though. |
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wow i sure did get hooked on the hypnosis down loads. i had to take a break from them for a few days. i got obssessive. i do like them still. they help me feel beter about myself and motivate me to go to the gym. i havent been this happy in a long time. |
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i find i crave his voice now. i listen to the downloads daily. i need what he says. if i try to go a day with out them i get antsy, anxious. |
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wow who knew hypnosis would work. i love the new downloads i recieved. I always thought cuming on command was fake until now. i love it. |
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i want to be brainwashed... to like myself, not eat chocolate and exercise more. lol |
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i hate being and feeling so alone |
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im noticing a few more Doms on this site in the Albany area. In the past it seemed as if only NYC had doms that subscribed to this site. |
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someone asked me..if C****** came back tomorrow and asked to get back together..would you take him back? +of course my first thought was no way. I know me. im going to think he will change or has changed. i keep hearing the forever together no matter what, that he used to say. i want that. through the good, bad and ugly..for the happy times and sad ones. i want that fairly tale..forever. does it exhist? |
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i feel free.....relieved, happier,calm.i must be completely over him. only took 5 months. |
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i have my weaknesses. it has been so difficult for me to move on with my life. i am trying. as my last journal entry shows my weaknesses. it is hard being alone everyday. i dont like the celebacy part. lol |
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god is this ever going to end? i see other men, and some even show interest in me, but i still want him. i want his body, taste, arms around me, hands on my throat. i want his anger.... even the negative attention. i think i will loose my mind. please contact me |
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Man my last journal entry was stupid. every crazy one on this site emailed me. lol. do not email me just to fuck because it aint happening. i just wish it could. seriously it isn't something i do casually. |
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let me say this..i can see myself fucking someone else...just not giving my heart to them. 5 months w/o sex has changed my view lol |
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i dont give my heart easily. i have trust issues so it takes time for me to build up enough trust to actually open up and totally give my love to someone. I say i am single but not looking...because my heart belongs to another. i can not honestly see anyone else right now. i just dont see myself being with another ever again. |
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i think people get divorced and seperated way too easily in this day and age. if things in a relationship aren't 100% perfect people want to leave. Why not work on it together? why not discuss things? none of my profiles ever claim me to be perfect. i never claim to be this wonderful submissive. im human. i mess up. i get angry and i dont always think things through properly. these are things that can be changed, with the right discipline. at least that is how i think it should be. i know i have the potential to be a great submissive. i just need guidence in getting there. |
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being single sucks! im loneyly and horny and bored. not a good combination! |
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Why do people lie? I mean i can list a dozen reasons why someone would lie....i just don't understand it. You make it clear what you want and what you are looking for. i put myself out there. i was open and honest and he lied to me...from the begining. And i fell for it. i believed because i wanted it sooo bad. This sucks shit....and that is a hard limit for me..hahahaha |
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I was reading all my old journal entries and realize that calling someone Daddy is no longer a hard limit for me. It still doesn't just roll off of my tongue but I find i can say it because i know He likes to hear it. So far just during sex. Haven't tried it outside of that. |
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In such a short span of time...
I talked to him and was drawn to him
I met him and i wanted him
I touched him and i craved him
This over whelming desire consuming me:
His body inside mine,over me,surrounding me
His taste on my tongue, in my throat, sustaining me
His scent in my nose, deep on my lungs, the air i breath
His voice in my head, guiding me,directing me,commanding me
No longer a want,craving or desire
In such a short span of time...
He has become a need |
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There are some things that i think even people into bdsm feel are taboo. If not taboo then just not talked about. I had an experience a few weeks ago that totally threw me off. I never expected to have this happen. One thing i have talked to a select few people about is that i have a fantasy of drinking someones urine. I can not accurately explain why i want to do this or what i think i would get from it (only because i am not very good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words). In the past i have tasted someones pee by licking the head of his penis after he went but never actually drank any. I had discussed this with Master a few times and where as he said he wanted to do it, i felt as if he was hesitant. In my head i had it all planned out. He would be sitting on the side of the bed and i would be kneeling at his feet. I would place his cock in my mouth and he would slowly start to pee. I would then swallow it....all. In my fantasy it tasted sweet and slightly bitter. I just see it as the ultimate service i can provide. Well a few weeks ago i was traveling with Master. We were in bed fooling around in the afternoon. I was under the covers gently sucking on his cock after sex. I'm not sure if i mentioned it first or if he said he had to go but we got on the topic of me drinking him. He was in my mouth, he asked if i was ready and just pee'd into my mouth and i swallowed. Approx a shot's worth. Then he stopped. Before i could think about it he did it again. I swallowed but then pulled away and said i didn't think i could drink anymore w/o getting sick. It wasn't anything i thought it would be, nothing like my fantasy, but it was amazing. As i said to him after, it was the most disgusting thing i have ever done or tasted and i LOVED it. I am not lying about that. It was disgusting. It was concentrated and bitter and foul tasting. it turned my stomach. What totally threw me was i had an orgasm doing this. I was not touching myself. No one else was touching me in a sexual way. It was just amazing to me. I loved it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Again i think it is the thought of being in ultimate service to him. What can be more useable than a traveling urinal? |
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I think winter is tapping on our door here in upstate NY. There are times when i do consider moving south,alot. |
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I have met some weird men in the last few months. I even took my pics down because of some of the emails i got. I am not a small person. My pics on here are accurate and fairly recent. Why would someone i have never met send me emails critisizing my size and putting me down for having my pic posted on this site? It really upset me to get these mean emails. I let it get to me. My reply to this person is, if you do not like how i look then turn your darn computer off. |
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I really like chatting and sharing emails with people on this site. Sometimes, even the ones i know i'm never going to meet. I have to admit i'd prefer to chat with people in my area, because this increases our chances of meeting. I'm serious when i say i do not want to play online. Playing to me is taking directions or having some form of sex online or over the phone. I want a real time, face to face, relationship. I know sex is an important factor in a relationship and i do love it, but it is not the main factor. If you do not want to get to know me (this means more than 2 days of chatting), then i do not want to have sex or any other type of relationship with you. I believe i am respectful to all that i chat with and just because i do not call you master or do everything you tell me to do online doesn't mean i am not submissive. |
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stepped on the scale today and it read...well nothing im going to share..but a hell of alot lot lighter than it read 10 months ago. i feel sooo good right now! |
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im learning more about myself everyday. i now know that age play is a hard limit for me. calling someone daddy that did not contribute to the concieving process of me just is wrong in my eyes. |
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gosh finding someone on this site that is truely Dominant and not just looking to screw around is difficult. If you are easily manipulated, back down, and have no spine please dont bother to contact me. im looking for someone who is strong,disciplined,strict and honest. i realize that is alot to ask of one person, apparently it is a rare find here on this site. i am tired of playing around and i refuse to settle for less. |
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moving back to upstate NY. very excited. |
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i havent been on this site in a while. it actaully makes me sad. i thought i had found the "One". ok just sad a little. im excited, nervous and enjoying chatting with new people. |
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