Collarspace.com

violetbunny

violetbunny - photo 1
violetbunny - photo 2
violetbunny - photo 4
violetbunny - photo 5

Friends:
draco57ChestertondaddyLadyLenoragoddess417Gabrielle29
consciouslifenow
RandiAnn
iamthedoctor210
Bowtome07
lostdarkangel
SweetOhGirl
Domart2011
erniemiller62
desposhree1
Would love to talk to P/people with similar interests. I am an inteliigent person, if you can't show me you have one too, don't bother. I'm an open book with the right person, talk to me.
6/28/2013 12:31:19 PM

For Her

  Donnie saw her standing outside of the Hilton in the cold. He was driving cross country from LA to Boston with Joe so they could discuss the next album. He hadn't planned on picking anyone up that night but something about her pulled him towards her.  She was a tall blonde in the hottest fuck me leather boots he'd ever seen and a short leather skirt accenting her long legs.

"What are you doing out in the cold?" He asked. She looked at him and he could see the look of recognition flash across her face.  'Well this could be good or it could be bad.'  He thought.
"Hi." She said. "My ride from work cancelled on me and I'm trying to figure out how to get home with just a dollar in my pocket." Donnie thought for a moment before speaking.
"Is there someone at home waiting for you?" He asked.
"No, I live alone." She answered studying him for a moment.
"Would you like to come up for a few minutes and have a drink with me?"  He asked her. "I'll find you a ride when you're ready to go." She stood silently for a minute.  'I wish he'd asked for more than a drink.'  She thought to herself.
"Ok, sounds good." She answered. Donnie took her hand and led her to the elevator and up to one of the nicest suites in the hotel. He took her coat and gestured for her to sit down.
"I know you know who I am."  He told her. "Joe's in the other bedroom sleeping or something so we should have some privacy here."
"Privacy for what?" She asked as if she was clueless He stared at her for a minute to make sure she was serious.
"We both know I didn't invite you up here for just a drink."  He told her.
"I was hoping." She answered. "Just that shit like this doesn't happen to me."
"You were hoping?"  He repeated and smirked. "I guess that's a good start. Do you want that drink still?"
"Yeah, I think I'd better." She answered. He poured them both a healthy sized glass of Jack on the rocks and handed it to her. She swallowed it down in one swallow and Donnie was impressed.
"You usually drink like this?" He questioned.
"No, but I'm nervous tonight." She replied.
"Ahh liquid courage. I understand that." He told her. "Do you want more?" He asked.
"No, that was enough. I really don't want to get drunk and forget this night." She answered. Donnie gave her one of his trademark sexy smirks and walked over to her, drink forgotten. He grabbed her glass, put it on the floor and pulled her into his arms.
"Sooo, what are you up for?" He asked.
"It would be better to ask what I'm not into." She replied with a grin. He looked surprised by her answer.
"Ok, what aren't you into?" He asked, trying again.
"Well I don't see any animals so we're good there, and I don't do that golden shower shit." She told him. He studied her face again. 'Damn,'  He thought, 'this could be an excellent night.'
"Ok, now that that's out of the way." He said.  "Take your clothes off." He ordered. She eyed him for a second and did as she was told. She had said anything. Donnie enjoyed watching her take her blouse off revealing large firm breasts barely covered by her lacy red push up bra. She went to take off her bra and he reached out and stopped her.
"Skirt next." He ordered. She unzipped her skirt and let it fall to her feet. He was thrilled to see she wasn't wearing any panties. He pushed her to the end of the large white leather couch and shoved her down over the sofa's arm exposing her to him. He admired the nicely shaped cheeks of her ass and her brazilian waxed pussy. He smacked her hard on the ass and watched his hand print appear on her pale cheek. She had barely flinched.
"Don't move an inch."  He told her. Donnie turned away and went to dig through his ever present duffle bag of tricks. After getting what he wanted he walked up behind her. "Spread your legs."  He commanded. She spread them fairly wide but he wasn't pleased with the results. "Bitch, I said spread them!"  He said raising his voice. She spread her legs even farther apart. He smacked her ass with something hard before grabbing an ankle and attaching a black leather cuff to her ankle. She bent her head to see what he was doing and he smacked her again. "Head up, back straight."  He ordered. She complied and almost fell when he grabbed her other ankle and pulled it even farther apart before attaching the remaining cuff to her other ankle. She tried to pull her legs closer because it hurt but he had used a spreader bar to keep her open wide. With the 4 inch heels on her boots she felt like she was on her tiptoes and it was killing her. Next he pulled her arms behind her back and she felt the rough rope circle her wrists and her hands were tied behind her back. "Still up for anything?"  He asked.
"You heard me the first time." She answered.  The hard ping pong paddle smacked her ass again.
"It's yes, Sir or no, Sir smartass.  Do you understand?" He questioned.
"Yes, Sir." She replied.
"Much better." He praised and ran his fingers over her clit as a reward. "Now bend back over the couch." He commanded. She did as she was told. The next thing she felt was cold metal against her asshole. Without warning or lubricant he shoved it up her ass.  It hurt like hell going in, bigger than she was used to but it filled her completely. She sighed. "Feels good?" He asked.
"Yes, Sir."  She answered. He pulled her up by her hair and helped her turn around. He pushed her back against the couch arm bending her over backwards and she gasped as the solid arm hit the plug she had in her ass and pushed it further in. She screamed out loud. She was already cumming and he had hardly touched her. He left her there convulsing from the orgasm and went back to his bag for something else. He pinched her left nipple and applied a clamp, he did the same with the right and then moved to her supersensitive clit. He held it in his fingers and applied the last clamp. All three were attached to each other by a fine chain. Next he shoved a hard leather pony bit between her teeth and put a scarf over her eyes. She couldn't see or say anything but she didn't really mind. He pulled hard on the thin chain and she shook in response to the sensations.  
"Good girl!"  He told her. With her legs spread so wide he could see her cum glistening between her pussy lips and running down her inner thighs. He scraped a fingernail over her clit and she automatically tried to pull her legs together, the muscles flexing and fighting the spreader. He dropped his pants and boxers to his knees and plunged into her deeply. He was so big and he hit her spot over and over until she was ready to beg for release. Donnie was enjoying himself now, every time he thrust into her her breasts bounced moving her nipples and pulling on the clamp between her legs making her moan. With one hard yank of the delicate chain and one extra hard thrust he had her cumming and she screamed a muffled scream against the bit. Donnie thrust a few extra times and shot his cum deep inside her. He stayed where he was for a minute allowing her cunt to quit spasming around him.  Once she caught her breath he untied the gag and pulled it off .  Sweat was pouring off her face as he pulled her to her feet and wiped it away with a sleeve before kissing her breathless.
"Did you like that?"  He asked her.
"Yes, Sir." She answered. Spotting Joe in the doorway he asked her one more question.
"Ready to go again?" He asked.
"No Sir." She answered.
"Tough shit!" He told her and pushed her to her knees. Her legs were so far apart she could almost touch the floor with her pussy lips. He beckoned Joe over from the doorway and pulled her hair so she looked up at him. "Suck him off." He  ordered. Joe stripped out of his boxers and stepped in front of her. She felt his hard on was long and thick and she worried about fitting him in her mouth. Donnie stepped out of his pants and went to stand behind her. She could feel his cock almost limp against her neck as he shoved her mouth over Joe's cock pushing him down her throat. She fought not to gag before closing her mouth around him. His cock tasted slightly salty in her mouth as she licked his shaft. Donnie gave her a little room to move and she slid her mouth up and down his shaft feeling him hit the back of her throat with his thrust. She pulled her mouth away and licked and sucked on his balls trying to lick every inch of him. She could feel Donnie's cock getting hard against her skin as she slid her teeth down Joe's rock hard cock. Joe was ready to blow and Donnie held her head still and let him thrust hard into her mouth until he exploded. He shot most of his load into her mouth before pulling out and shooting it over her breasts and stomach. When he was done she swallowed and slowly licked him clean.
Joe and Donnie looked up when someone knocked on the door.
"She's here."  Joe said with a grin.  He walked to the door without bothering to put his boxers back on.
"Who's here?" Donnie asked.
"Oh, just an old friend I called when I heard you two talking." Joe answered. Joe opened the door to a tiny dark haired brunette. "Hi!" He said giving her a big hug.
"Hi." She answered shyly.
"This is Sheri."  Joe told them. "She's a fuckbuddy of mine when I'm in town." Sheri blushed. Sheri took her coat off to reveal a skin tight wrap style emerald green silk dress that showed off her firm and perky breasts perfectly. It was obvious she had nothing on underneath and her nipples were erect from the cold. Joe gave her a thourough kiss and smacked her on the ass before untying the belt of her dress so it fell open. Both of them eyed her body appreciatively. Her skin was alabaster white and seemed to glow against the green material. She was freshly bathed and waxed and they all wanted a piece of her. "She's here for all of us." Joe told Donnie after noticing just how hard he was. "But I invited her for your new friend." Donnie looked at the tall blonde he'd brought up with him and the tiny brunette friend of Joe's and couldn't wait to see them together.  He unlocked the shackles from her legs and removed the scarf over her eyes.
"Sheri is here for you." Donnie told her.
"You're in charge here." Joe told her. She's a very curious submissive and with your rebellious attitude I thought you could break her in.
"Where's the bed?" She asked after clasping Sheri's hand in hers. Joe showed them to his bedroom where the king sized bed sat in the middle of the room with a chair on each side and cameras hooked up over the bed and on a tripod next to it. Donnie stared at Joe with amazement.
"How the fuck?" He queried?
"They know me here." Joe answered. "Now girls, let's get this!"
She pulled Sheri in close and took Sheri's lower lip between hers and sucked hard on it before nipping at it and then claimed all of Sheri's mouth with hers. Donnie never bothered to get her name so they just called her "the Blonde" or "Blondie" when they talked.
Blondie could feel the hesitancy in Sheri's kiss and pulled away.
"On your knees slut!" Blondie ordered. Sheri dropped immediately to her knees in front of her. "Lick my cunt clean!" Blondie ordered. Sheri looked at her as if unsure if she should obey.  Blondie grabbed a nipple and pulling on it pulling Sheri up off her knees." Did you hear Joe?" Blondie asked. Sheri nodded her head. Her big brown eyes conveyed her fear of the unknown. "You answer me!" Blondie yelled. "It's yes Mistress or no Mistress." Donnie looked at Joe and grinned.
"Yes Mistress!" Sheri repeated.
"You are going to get back on your knees and lick me clean, do you understand?" Blondie asked.
"Yes mistress!" Sheri answered and dropped to her knees. Sheri started to lick gently at Blondie's  cunt but she was too short to get a very good position to do it well. Blondie pulled her back up and led her to the bed. She climbed in first and pulled Sheri in after her. This time Sheri laid down between Blondie's legs and began to lick and nip at her in earnest. Sheri licked within her folds and then nuzzled her way down to the opening of her pussy and thrust her tongue deep inside. Blondie moaned from the attention. She didn't know how long Sheri's tongue was but for a first timer she did one hell of a job. She licked her way to Blondie's clit and circled the clamp several times before diving deep down again and thrusting her tongue in and out and in and out. Blondie was writhing at her touch. Sheri pulled her mouth away again and wrapped her lips aroung the clit clamp sucking gently at first driving Blondie to squeeze her legs together around Sheri's neck. Sheri  went back to thrusting her tongue deep inside Blondie winding her up more and more. She dug her fingers into Sheri's hair and pushed Sheri's face tighter against her pussy. Sheri had managed to lick every drop of Donnie's cum off and Blondie was ready to cum again. "Sheri." She called.  Sheri looked up and her face was covered in Blondie's moisture. "Crawl to me!" Blondie ordered. Sheri crawled on all fours to her. Gently Blondie licked her own juices off of Sheri's face before kissing her, Sheri tasting Blondie's cum and flavor in the kiss.   Blondie broke the kiss and looked deep in Sheri's eyes. "Now fuck me!" She ordered. Sheri looked confused. Blondie took her hand and made a fist, "With this." She told Sheri. Sheri's mouth dropped open but she crawled back between Blondie's legs. "Rub your hand in your own pussy first, make sure it's good and wet." Blondie explained to her. Sheri used her fist againt her own clit until she began to pant. "That's enough!" Blondie told her. Sheri stopped and looked at her. "Do it, don't make me punish you!" Sheri understood all too well about punishment and slowly eased her tiny hand between Blondie's legs. She was surprised when it went in with little force and Blondie moaned. Sheri stilled her hand with uncertainty. "Keep going!" Blondie commanded.
"Keep Going" Joe and Donnie moaned in stereo. They both had their hands wrapped around their cocks jerking off as they watched. Sheri pushed her hand in deeper, up past her wrist until there was resistance.
"Good girl!" Blondie praised. "Now move it in and out. Use it like you have a dick!" She urged.  Sheri began to slowly ease her fist almost out and then deep inside over and over. "Harder! Faster!" Cried Blondie. Sheri pumped her fist harder and faster thrusting in until she hit Blondie's gspot hard and then almost out again making a sucking noise with each movement. Blondie was panting with each punch to her gspot as Sheri thrust harder and faster. "Suck my clit!" Blondie yelled! Donnie jumped up and unclamped her nipples and put one in his mouth as Joe moved in across from him and took the other. The final straw was when Sheri put her lips around Blondie's  clit and sucked it hard into her mouth. Blondie screamed Sheri's name when she came, gushing cum juices all over Sheri's face. Her pussy walls clenched and unclenched around Sheri's fist and Joe and Donnie both jerked off until their cum sprayed all over Sheri's body. They all collapsed onto the bed exhausted but they left Sheri wet and wanting until they could rest.  
     To be continued?
 
6/22/2013 9:24:58 PM

 

Essay 3
 

You pick me up at my house, blindfold me so i have no idea where we are going and reach under my skirt to rub my clit.  i'm blushing hard because my mom can see You and i've tried so hard to keep it away from her.  i'm already worrying about what she'll say when i get home. You help me into the car where i try to slump down and hide but after a hard painful twist of a nipple i sit up straight.  i can feel my cheeks are on fire and i'm dying a little inside because i'm so embarrassed but my nipples are hard and my cunt aches for more, my mind is spinningwith questions but i'm too scared to ask. After we leave the house You tell me to pull my skirt up and spread my legs which i do even though inside my head i'm saying no.  My brain already knows what You're going to spans i'm dreading it. Your hand delves between my legs, fingers thrusting inside my cunt until i am so close to cumming i whimper.  then You stop and tell me to lick Your fingers, and to make sure i make it good. You repeat this several times as You're driving making me suck and lick Your fingers in between even though i hate it.  i don't like the way i taste and i want to refuse but i wouldn't dare fight You.  i don't want to make You angry or lose You as my Master.  Every so often i hear a honk and yelling so I know people are seeing what is happening and i'm very embarrassed but im a little relieved the mask is hiding who i am.

  Finally You stop the car and come around to let me out.  i worry that Youre stopping because i did something wrong but instead You kiss me and then bite my lip until You draw blood.  i'm glad but relieved You cant see the tears in my eyes. You lead me inside a building and into an elevator. After that we take a few steps and You order me to take off my blouse which I do but i hesitate a second too long and You grab on of my breasts and squeeze until it feels like it will pop.  i'm mortified that ive made You punish me again.  my heart's pounding from a combination of fear and need and i feel my thighs getting wetter. All i know is that i'm standing in a hallway visible to whomever happens by but i'm more turned on then ever.  You knock on a door making me wonder who is on the other side but i'm scared  of who might answer.  The door opens but you don't say anything and neither does the person who answered the door.  You pull me inside, force my head up and i hear the sound of a camera taking pictures as you take my skirt off and toss it away.  The camera just keeps clicking, i'm scared about who is taking the pictures and what will happen to them.  i remember You threatening to put pics of me with my email address up in a men's restrooms and i start shaking.  i hear You tell me to stop, i know i'm blushing and i try but i can't.  You drag me a few feet and pull me over Your knee and spank me for shaking and for making You drag me to be punished.  i hate knowing someone else is seeing my misbehaving and i'm angry because i can still hear the damn camera going off.  i lose count of the spanks as the tears run down my face.  i bite thru my lip so i don't say something i'll regret.  After the spanking You push my face into the wet spot i left on Your pants and tell me to clean it up which i do.  Finally You help me stand and i walk very carefully where You lead me because my ass hurts so bad. i bump into what feels like a bed as You push me down face first. i reach out to catch myself and touch skin.  After touching the person more i realize it's another woman and i'm between her legs.  You command me to use my mouth to make her cum. This time i don't hesitate knowing the punishment would be worse.  i crawl further up the bed and settle between  her bent knees gently feeling her pussy lips and spreading them apart.  You know i've never pleasured another woman before and doing it blindfolded is difficult yet You urge me to move faster by shoving my face into her pussy. Her wetness covers my face and i realize then she has her period.  i dip my tongue into her core, tasting a mix of her juices and blood.  i'm relieved it isn't an unpleasant flavor so i continue. Using the tip of my tongue i circle her clit then suck on it until she squirms and moans. Beginning to feel more confident i use two fingers to enter her while continuing to suckle on her clit.  i feel her getting wetter around my fingers and i add a third.  Thrusting them harder i start flicking her clit with the tip of my tongue.  i'm caught off guard when i feel someone else climbing onto the bed behind me. Their fingers enter my asshole, working cold lube into it as i try to avoid their fingers and keep my mouth working the woman's clit.  The lubed fingers stop but are quickly replaced by what i assume is Your firm hand spanking my already sore ass. my moans of pain manage to excite the woman even more and she grabs my long hair pulling me deep between her legs.  the rhythm of the spanking increases and the woman begins to writhe as my fingers thrusting keeps up harder until i feel her tighten then cum around my hand.  i feel pleased with myself for making her cum until i realize the camera is still snapping pictures and i feel embarrassed all over again.  The spanking has really been painful but i'm painfully close to cumming and don't fight when the fingers start lubing my ass.  Instead although i'm embarrassed i begin to grind against the fingers.  i call out for You, Master, but the woman tells me to be quiet and to crawl up to her. i crawl, my ass high in the air begging to be fucked, until she tells me to stop.  Her hands cup my breasts soothing the tender nipple with her thumbs while i feel someone grab my ass in their hands and thrust deep into my ass. i groan in pain still not ready for their cock and now i know it's not You, his is smaller than Yours.  The woman covers my mouth with hers, swallowing my groans of pain until they become moans of pleasure.  The woman shows her experience as she quits kissing me to begin suckling at first one breast then the other shooting bolts of pleasure right to my cunt so i wiggle against the cock in my ass. i moan for You again earning a sharp bite on my nipple for not being quiet but instead of punishment i push harder against the cock.  i don't care that the camera is going off and i let myself respond.  i'm writhing giving in completely to his cock and her mouth working me over.   Too quickly for me i feel the man grow still and he's cumming but he pulls out and sprays cum in my hair & on my back leaving me frustrated and upset.  Finally she begins to finger my clit while suckling and nipping at my nipples until i cum too. She holds me, kissing me and running her fingers thru my sticky hair while the man and i both catch our breath.  i feel comforted and cared for for a few minutes then You take off my blindfold and i see she is one of Your Domme friends and realize i was fucked by Her sub.  i make sure to thank Her for Her time then climb off the bed and crawl to sit at Your feet.  You pat my head which makes me feel loved instead of humiliated.  Maybe i'm learning to accept my place, at least i hope i am. i lick Your hand to say thank You and You return my clothing but based on Your look i know i will be punished for disobeying You.  You make me crawl all the way back to the car showing everyone who might see that i disobeyed. When we get to the car You kick me in the ass and i cry out in pain.  Another kick to the side and i bite my tongue.  i'm angry but know i deserved the kicks, i disobeyed in front of Your friends.  You open my door and tell me to get in.  The ride home is quiet and painful and when we get there You show me what You did with the pictures from the hotel room.  They were posted all over my Facebook page with my name and phone number prominently showing on them. After thanking You for Your time i walk into the house feeling more humiliated then ever.
6/22/2013 7:45:30 PM

Essay 2

 
  After dressing as you ordered, short skirt without panties & low cut top without a bra i meet You at a restaurant where we join a friend of Yours in a booth.   You and he order food but You tell me to get on the floor and give Your friend a blow job. i  really don't want to but i know not to argue so i get under the table and unzip his pants.  i have no idea who Your friend is but i pull out his cock and begin licking and sucking on it, cupping his balls with my hand.  i carefully roll them in my hand while taking him deep in my throat gagging until my eyes water and drool is running down my chin.  i hear the waitress talking to You and turn red knowing she can hear what im doing and knows why im under the table.  While she's still there Your friend wraps his hands in my hair and starts thrusting harder and deeper making me groan and gag louder until im sure the whole place can hear me.  Finally he cums deep in my throat and i swallow it all.  i lick my drool and his cum from his cock making sure i clean him completely before putting his cock back in his pants and zipping him up.  He pats me on the head as a reward and i move to wait by Your feet until Your next order.  You leave me there feeding me bites off Your plate like a pet dog.  i feel even more humiliated because i can feel other patrons eyes on me.  You start rubbing my cunt with the toe of Your shoe and You grab my boob twisting my nipple until i moan.  Your shoe pushes against my clit, my cunt already dripping juices down my thighs.  i'm so turned on i don't care who sees me.  Just before i cum You pull Your foot up and stick it in my face for me to clean.  i try to lick Your shoe but You kick me in the face instead and my juices are wiped across my cheek.  Then You kick my mouth, i feel my lip break open but i lick Your shoe like You want.  Finally You pull me out from under the table by my hair.  i know i look bad with the drool and tear marks and wish i could crawl back under the table to hide.  You show me kindness by passing me a napkin and permitting me to wipe my face before You drag me to the bathroom where You bend me over the sink, flip up my skirt and take me hard from behind.  my head pounds into the mirror as You thrust inside me until i feel You cum inside me. You order me to rub my clit with You still inside me.  You pull up my top and clamp nipple clamps on.  i start cumming just as another man walks in.  While i'm still cumming You offer the man a chance to use my body as a toilet.  When he accepts i squat at his feet and while he pees into my mouth i swallow as quickly as i can though some runs down my face and onto my chest.  For that i get a smack upside the head and i'm more humiliated by displeasing You then by having a complete stranger pee down my throat.  After the man is done You encourage him to shake the last drops on my face.  He does then leaves but i wish the earth would swallow me whole.  After he's gone You pull me up using the chain between the clamps on my nipplesand spank my breasts for spilling.  After allowing me to straighten my clothing we finally leave the bathroom, You take me back to the table and i feel eyes on me as You pay the bill and we leave. 
6/20/2013 7:40:35 AM

 

 
You walk into my house uninvited finding me home alone and start beating me as i deserve, whipping me until my body is full of hot red stripes from head to toe, me begging for more as You commanded.  Then You force me to my parents bed and tie me face down to the four posters.  You start by dry fucking me with the handle of the whip, switching between my cunt and ass until my whole family walks in then You begin fucking me in the ass with Your cock while i beg You for more. i have to beg You for more while my family watches seeing what a slut i am. You pull out right before You're ready to come Master, spraying Your cum all over my face and hair.  Then i beg You to let me suck Your cock, cleaning You with my mouth until I've got You clean and You dry off with my hair.  Finally You set me free to strip and remake the bed while i'm still  naked and covered in Your cum.
8/20/2012 7:46:37 PM

Twisted

You wanna feel, I'll let you feel

Come over here
You heard what love can do to you
You know that cuts, scars, bruises hurt
So what
You like it
You like all the screws, tattoos, cool
That I can do
You're telling, you're telling me you're
A little bit twisted
 Can feel ya heart
You want me to twist it
Twist it for ya
A little bit twisted
Tell me where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it'
Kiss it, kiss it, kiss it, kiss it
Where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it (kiss it)
 How do you feel
I got you ill from all the love
I'll try not to kill ya
Get close enough
You know that cuts, scars, bruises hurt
So what
You like it
You like all the screws, tattoos, cool
That i can do
You're telling, you're telling me you're
A little bit twisted
 Can feel ya heart
You want me to twist it
Twist it for ya
A little bit twisted
Tell me where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it'
Kiss it, kiss it, kiss it, kiss it
Where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it (kiss it)
 You need a little more to get you where you want
I'll push you how you want it
Just tell me where to pull
You want it harder
Need it harder
Girl it's how you like it
Tell me what you been missing
You need me to come and twist it for you
I'll come and twist it for you
I'll even hit it for you
I'll hurt you if you like it
And then I'll twist it for you
 Twist it for ya
Twist it for ya
Twist it for ya
Twist it for ya
Sadistic for ya
Twist it for ya
 A little bit twisted
Can feel ya heart
You want me to twist it for ya
A little bit twisted
Tell me where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it'
Kiss it, kiss it, kiss it, kiss it
Where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it (kiss it)
 Twist it for ya
Twist it for ya
Sadistic for ya
Twist it for ya
Twist it for ya
Sadistic for ya
 Where does it hurt
Tell me where to kiss it
 **********************************************

I'm sure you're wondering why i posted lyrics in my journal, i'll do my best to explain. 

For the first time since i realized what i truly was, a submissive,  i heard a song that seemed to be written for me.  The lyrics expressed my wants and needs, the feelings that i usually kept to myself but were mentioned by a fictional man who understood and not only accepted those desires but was willing to do what was necessary to make the woman he loved happy.  It helped me become more comfortable with myself and it made me love the group who sang it even more.  i didn't think i could like this group anymore then I already did, i'd been a fan since 1989. lol.  Never expected one of the "original boy bands", New Kids on the Block, to help me feel better about my sexual preferences but then they helped me deal with a bad year of college, a couple crappy boyfriends, bad health and several surgeries so what's one more issue? :-)  If anyone is considering mocking me or my choice in music, go right ahead but i will permanently block you without a second thought.  i dealt with the crap in '89, i won't deal with it now.  Take some time and think about the lyrics.  They talk about acceptance and love, isn't that what all of us want?  i know it's what i've looked for, for way too many years and found a measure of here.  To those who have shown me love, acceptance and/or friendship thank you!  You know who you are.
8/6/2011 8:21:37 PM
Ugh tonight i am losing my fucking my mind.  It's like i've been caught in a tiny cage and i can't get out (not in a good way), nowhere to go where someone isnt crawling up my ass.  i need to do SOMETHING but I'm stuck!  So now all i want to do is scream & cuss and throw everything in sight until i'm finally too damn exhausted to care anymore.  Instead i'm stuck in my usual role, gotta be the good girl, the respectful one, the quiet one with the glued on smile so no one sees the hot mess i am inside.  God all i want is to be FREE!!  Free of the lies, free of the masks, free to tell someone to fuck the hell off when i want to but it won't happen.  It's never going to happen because i was born this way, born a mouse not a lion.
3/19/2011 6:27:33 PM
Goodbye Thursday i lost a big piece of myself.  i lost my best friend, my snuggle buddy, the only one i knew i could tell everything and never be judged, the only one who loved me 24/7 unconditionally.  Thursday i lost my baby, my dog Mac. That day he took my heart with him when he died.  We didn't know what was coming that morning, he spent the night beside me in bed and laid in the bathroom while i showered just like always but by that afternoon he couldn't move at all.  He died at the vet's office laying on one of his blankets surrounded by the three people he loved and who loved him so much.  i knew he was in pain even though he never even whined in complaint but i wasn't ready for him to go, he was only 10 & 1/2, it was too early but this time i wasn't in control.  i'm not really sure i believe in "god", they claim "he" is kind and loving, that "he" never gives you more then you can handle but to me that's a load of crap!  If he was so kind why would he give a 13 year old rheumatoid arthritis, but he did.  Why would he sit back and watch people live in their cars?  i've been there too. Why would he send health problem after health problem and heartache after heartache then take away the one thing that brought me joy and gave me a reason to live?  That isn't kind or loving, it's cruel and hateful!! This is way more than i can handle!  i go to sleep praying this is all a horrible dream and wake up cursing the reality of it all.  my heart aches and the only way to ease the pain is to sleep so i do, it's all i want to do so why not?  i know other people have it worse, i know other people have gone through similar situations and not bitched and moaned about it but i'm tired of being the strong one, i'm tired of wearing the happy mask and my closest human friend is tired of hearing from me so tonight i'm letting it all out here.  All i'm asking for is someone to hold me while i cry and for someone who won't run the other way when i need to talk... all i want is my baby back!!  Maybe he couldn't hold me but when he put his furry head on my lap and looked up at me with his big brown eyes full of compassion i knew he understood and loved me no matter what.  i cannot wait until the day we're together again, i'll be counting the days, and until then he'll be holding my heart with him.  Goodbye dear friend, i will see you very, very soon!
12/6/2010 3:33:01 PM
Written by felk FacebookTwitterShare your results » 1 2 3 4 5 click away Rate this test Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ... 4- the Individualist Thanks for taking the test ! you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR (aka "The Romantic")   "I am unique" Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.   How to Get Along with Me • Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. • Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. • Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. • Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. • Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!   What I Like About Being a FOUR • my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level • my ability to establish warm connections with people • admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life • my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor • being unique and being seen as unique by others • having aesthetic sensibilities • being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me   What's Hard About Being a FOUR • experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair • feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved • feeling guilty when I disappoint people • feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me • expecting too much from myself and life • fearing being abandoned • obsessing over resentments • longing for what I don't have   FOURs as Children Often • have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games • are very sensitive • feel that they don't fit in • believe they are missing something that other people have • attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc. • become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood • feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)   FOURs as Parents • help their children become who they really are • support their children's creativity and originality • are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings • are sometimes overly critical or overly protective • are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
luvsick
 
 Age: 24
 Salonica, Greece