In my life I've dug ditches, pounded nails, built and rebuilt houses, built boats, been a semi-professional sailor, rebuilt a truck because I had to, rebuilt a motorcycle because I wanted to. Been homeless, and a homeowner. Built a small business, lost it when everything crashed in 2008. Working with my hands is enormously important to me - it's one of the reasons I chose science.

 

I learned biology because it fascinated me, earned a PhD because I fell in love with it. I've been a student, a teacher at high school, university and corporate levels, learned to take genes apart and decode them. Had a successful career consulting to pharma and biotech industries, now retired - the work I was part of helped improve and save lives, and did so years sooner because of our assistance. I'm quite proud of my career.

 

More importantly, I've been in love, been loved, made people's live's better. Hurt people when I fucked up. Married for 20 years, divorced - we raised two wonderful children together. Learned largely with my ex-wife's help to express my not exactly mainstream desires with passion, intimacy, and ethical awareness.

 

Found friends, lovers, friends who became lovers, lovers who became friends - my family of choice. Found the love I'd never quite dared dream would exist. She taught me how to love deeply and with abandon, we had far too few years together, and fuck cancer. The shards of that shattering no longer cut as deeply or as often, but I still miss her every day. I'll take every moment of it - love is always worth it.

 

I'm a spiritual sadist, using pain to craft intimacy and connection. I have a desire for some level of authority and control in my relationships. I've been blessed to have extraordinary teachers and mentors to help me figure out how to do these things, and some wonderful partners with whom to explore it.

 

It's been a hell of a ride. Still is.

 

These days I'm a crafter, gardener, cook with a limited repertoire that I do quite well. Slightly socially awkward although I cover it reasonably well, and probably somewhere vaguely on the spectrum. I've rediscovered my love of nonfiction. I love food, music, the East Bay hills, and blue oak woodlands. Remaining connected to the lives of two wonderful adult children. Active in leather and political communities. Living with a chonky galumphing Chocolate Lab, who helps keep me active and sane.

 

Are you passionate about something - anything - that might make the world a little bit better or more interesting in some way? I'm making room in my life for friends, lovers, play partners, or various combinations thereof. I'd love to hear from you.