jill "inferior" campbell (not my real last name) I am only to be called "inferior" or "worthless" or "disappointment" or "failure."
Photos: where inferior and worthless jill belongs
I respond to most emails or ims that are polite (you can be humbling and mean while polite), more than 1 or 2 sentences, and have read my profile...please please read my profile before contacting me...I am need and crave something very very specific...
thanks!
From my upbringing with very strict, disciplinaring Mother, I learned
Pain is the way to remember my lessons
Suffering is the way to show how sorry I am and to seek forgiveness
Humbling is the way to learn my inferior, worthless place
I am WASP MBA....I am exploring feeling humbled and acting subservient online in roleplay or some mild sane tasks for offline and fantasizing about being punished. This is psychological and emotional domination with real life offline tasks that are mildly embarrassing. I realize what i need BLUSHING is emotional and psychological sadism and cruelty. When I get to know you better I will share with you my emotional triggers, which will likely lead me to cry for real as we chat, if you are enough of a sadist (mmmmmmm!!). (One hint: insulting my brains or my talent is a nonstarter for me. I likely went to better undergraduate than you did and I went to a top business school. BUT comparing me unfavorably to other women, yes THAT hurts . . . more when I get to know you better.) I am married and will never ever cheat so don't even go there.
Please start your email by diving in without asking questions....I have done my best to answer your questions in this profile. Please don't try to add me as a friend without my permission.
I delete emails that are one sentence or just "hi," rude and crude emails, and uninteresting and boring emails! I've been polite and responded to everyone, but it's just too many emails to respond to those who don't even put any effort into their email. If you haven't read my whole profile you are wasting both of our time.
I hide my true self-image from others in order to function day-to-day, but underneath I’m screaming that I’m worthless, less then the lowest person around, let alone most of them. That I far lower than my closest friends and colleagues. (Please don’t try to “save” me and encourage me to think better of myself and tell me how wonderful I am, that is LOL the exact opposite of what i am seeking.)
i'm kind of a fraud at work pretending to be a leader, when i'm really shy and rather be a follower. And deserve to be punished for being such a phony. In need of someone to bring out the real me who knows that at work and in society generally that I am just faking it...lucky to be where I am ...and needing to atone for the good fortune by being humilated and degraded and disciplined. It's about psychological demeaning, pain of shame. This is about exploring my inner lil girl, NOT about exploring my socalled inner slut or bimbo.
Sometimes i feel like I am pretending to be a BIG girl (adult woman) when I am really a little girl in a 34 year old's body.. being my real age 34 and treated and disciplined as much much younger. I am seeking to relive the DREAD and SHAME of discipline and scolding of by Mother. It was awful at the time bu BLUSHING I miss how she lowered my self esteem and find closeness in being humbled.
I LOVE online roleplay but have found it doesn't go far enough. I need to actually do real tasks offline to feel how worthless and I am and pay penance through suffering for being such a worthless disappointment and phony. But my frustration is that people online come up with the most bizarre and extreme stuff as real life tasks that i would never do.
Would you like to join me exploring ONLINE commands for real chores and menial stuff at work or shopping..exploring...mild menial tasks for real...can't be anything crazy or jeopardizes my marriage or job or anything ...talking about small stuff where you can exercise some power control. Discipline excites me.
Enjoy roleplaying ONLINE in yahoo chat. Online humbling and discipline to be treated as lowly intern and domestic servant... Kind of like an intern or coat check girl serving the more dominant personalities in society regardless of their actual job title or social rank. A coat check girl, such a LOW VERY LOWLYservile service position. Always having to PRETEND to be friendly and smiling and eat crap from everyone with an IDIOTIC fake SMILE, while being ignored and looked down on by my “Betters”. And my legs and back and feet aching, having to stand up for so long! Being envious and jealous and resentful and so having lots of self-loathing.
Like roleplayp with you scolding, belittling, and disciplining me like Mother would for being a such a great “disappointment,” “failure,’ “worthless,” “phony,” “faker” and suffering for not deserving the great job I have at a Fortune 500 company. Llike the idea of being spanked or punished by someone who “should be beneath me” socially or at work, but who I feel deep down inferior to. In rp, intense to be humiliated by you in front of your spouse or date.
Part of me wants my closest friends to know what I really am and despise me but part of me the sane part knows that crazy. So in fantasy but not reality i would never actually tell my friends i want to clean your apartment for you and scrub your toilet while you relax and unwind, I’ll get your dry cleaning, shine your shoes for your evening out while you chat with other friends on the phone.
ABOUT TASKS: I have discovered I would to explore about control with someone who could be a strict parental figure, a kind of substitute Mother, with (realistic mild) punishment tasks. I have to keep all this secret from my husband, so have to be careful about what is really doable or not. I hate conflict and arguing and I have found that I am too mild for 90% of cm. If people don’t realize mild tasks for real (not in fantasy roleplay) do not risk your marriage, job, or health, I will no longer argue with you. You can blame all the cm folks who came up ridiculously crazy or unsafe tasks for my not wanting to discuss this.
ABOUT ONLINE ROLEPLAY: As a result of too many arguments about unrealistic tasks, I realize now that I much prefer online roleplay (with characters, plot, suspense, dialog, details, a good detailed roleplay I FEEL as if it is really happening, my faces blushes for real, my heart beats fast). I love exploring humbling and discipline in roleplay, especially age play, instead of treating me at my age 34 (which I am in the roleplay), I am treated, talked to, and disciplined like lil girl....the words ‘go upstairs we need to have a conversation” or “wait until we get home, you’re going to get it” or “you’ll going to get a whuppin or tanning or hiding” make my heart race with DREAD for real (bringing back paddlings from strict Mother) and SHAME for being 34 and still getting a whuppin. I love to be called and treated as “young lady.”
My favorite roleplay is an origins story...how would all this begin if we didn’t meet on cm? You might suspect something, but would have to take baby steps to see my reactions, you couldn’t begin by telling me bend over and lower my pantyhose and panties for a whuppin! You would have to go much slower
To be as clear as I can be: I am happily married and would NEVER EVER CHEAT. This is strictly online. In roleplay I do not do cybersex, I will not pretend to cheat on my husband.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME questions--all you need to know is in profile. If chatting with you is an interrogation, I will end the chat quickly. Put yourself in my shoes--every day everyone wants to ask me the same questions to get to know me better. I was polite and answered them. It is beyond boring now!!! Just dive in. Read between the lines. Be creative. If you want to ask endless questions, find some penpal to correspond with. i come here as an escape from work, not to have additional work of answering 1000s of questions.
I have been offline for over a month because of all the endless questioning and interrogation. So one more time. Please note: I love to explore but I no longer have any patience for playing 20 questions with people who are going to disappear after a yahoo chat or two. All you need to know for opening chatting with me is i n my profile.Please put yourself in my shoes. Everyone thinks they’re unique and needs to get to know me better and then asks me the same exact questions I have already answered in my profile and have answered in numerous chats. What I need to know about you as soon as possible is if we are on the same wavelength as I am very mild and most likely you are too extreme for me and we are both wasting our time. Biggest timewaster for me: those who think exploration means breaking my mild limits. I have no interest in that. My mild limits will remain. Please understand I am saying all of this out of sheer frustration, blame the others on CM for wearing out my patience with answering endless questions.
WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You doNOThave my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this....