12/4/2016 8:54:31 PM: Got an email from a lovely Femdom I was lucky to meet years ago. She will be in south Florida in few months and She want me to serve and suffer for Her.I didn't play for some time now and know She is heavy into oral service. So I made contact with a local Domme I know to get myself ready for Her visit.Didn't take her long to bring in the SPURS (see pic).So now I bleed and my screams are muffled

7/23/2013 10:33:17 AM: Found this on a Psychology and Mental Health Forum:   Am I a monster? by Sintara » I am a female sexual sadist. I spend hours on end fantasizing about torturing men. I don't hate men, I love them actually. The more I like them and the more I feel sexually attracted to them the more I want to hurt them. Nothing turns me on more than the whimpering sounds and wincing facial expressions they make or if they cry. I also find myself turned on if I see a guy limping. Its even more exciting to me to see other people who care about them feel sorry for them when they see the injuries they have later. I would love to be able to torture a guy and then send him home to a loved one and get to be a fly on the wall so that I could watch that person feeling bad for them and trying to help them. I obsess over CBT. My fantasies get pretty extreme. I know that there are many sexual sadists out there but I feel like a monster because my fantasies are so extreme. I feel guilty because despite feeling like a monster I also feel a strong desire to find a man who is masochistic enough to allow me to do these things to him. I try not to think about it but I can't stop. I can't get sexually aroused without picturing suffering men in my mind. I collect pictures of injured and tortured men to look at so that later I can have sex with my husband without him knowing how sick I am. I also have a blindness fetish. I would like to find someone who would agree to wear contacts that made them blind so that I could watch them try to make their way around without sight. I would also enjoy hurting them without them being able to see when it was coming. I might make him complete tasks for me blind so I could watch him struggle. With contacts instead of a blindfold I chould still fully see their facial expressions, which are very important to me. Then I would be aroused enough to have sex with them. I would want them to still wear the contacts during sex so I was in complete control. I'm so tortured by all of this because my husband called me a 'sexual psychopath' and I have to hide it from him now. It has ruined our sex life. I'm addicted to it and don't know what to do.   -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   So? What do Y/you think? Scary?   I've met even more extreme Dommes then this lady.