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beatspigs
| Hetero Male, 56, Pigville, Illinois
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I'm in a weird place right now. Not really looking |
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12/22/2015 6:37:09 PM: GIMME BACK MY CHICKEN YOU PERVERT!I live with a sick woman. The extremes of her perversion sometimes astound me. That's why I lament this wasted jewel.Sometime during this last year she started talking in her sleep. The other day, I was on the computer and she was asleep on the couch. Out of the blue she says, 'Gimme back my chicken, you pervert'. I responded with a 'what?' and then realized that she was still asleep. I wanted to wake her up and find out what she was dreaming about but I didn't. When she woke up, I did ask, and she said she didn't remember.That sucked! My mind reels with the possibilities.
12/20/2015 11:13:35 PM: HER ASS GREW TO THE TOILET SEATI recently heard on the news that a woman spent 2 years in the bathroom and her ass grew to the toilet seat. Now if that was voluntary, I'd call it natural selection, and we should have left her there. I mean, what kind of idiot is that. But what if this was twisted sexual games gone awry. There was a boyfriend involved. Maybe he super glued her ass to the toilet seat. Maybe he'd just go in there and taunt her and jack off on her. I could get into that. Maybe he wanted to get her fat and that was as good a place as any to grow her. Maybe he got her so fat that she couldn't get her hands to her mouth anymore. Maybe he just crawled up on her and fucked her fat face like this perpetual gloryhole. Maybe he used her for the toilet and just let it recycle thru her into the commode. Oh, the possibilities are endless.
4/7/2014 4:56:21 PM: A FUCKING BILLY GOAT
Today I had to avoid construction on the interstate so I took a dirt road shortcut. As I passed a farm, three dogs and a billy goat chased my truck. A fucking billy goat. What the hell is a fucking billy goat doing chasing my truck. He outran the dogs. He was running along side my door, looking me in the eye, going Blaaaaaaaa!!!! Now thats not something you see everyday.
4/6/2014 5:34:25 AM: SHIT FIGHTING LESBIANS
I lived in this apt complex and got to be pretty good friends with the apt manager. When I moved out I was asking her if the place was clean enough and she proceeded to tell me a horror story about some past tenants.She said she had these 3 lesbians that lived together. They seemed average, but when they left, they did it in the middle of the night with no notice. When she went to inspect the apt, she found the freezer was full of frozen bags of shit. Human shit. Not only that, the walls were covered with flecks of human shit. She said it was the most disgusting mess she had ever seen. The only thing she could think that they were doing was having shit fights with it.A couple of weeks later, one of the lesbians called her up asking for her security deposit back. She told the lesbian that she must be insane. Not only that, she intended to sue her for damages. Which she did. I'd love to have been witness to that small claims suit.It wasn't long after that the the apt managers equipment shed was broken into. Nothing was taken, but none of her lawn mowers would run. She took them to have them repaired and guess what? The gas tanks had all been packed full of shit. Now who do you think did that?
4/5/2014 6:07:08 PM: THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT
I used to work with this guy in the meat packing industry. He ran a meat saw and one night he cut one of his fingers off. Well they sewed it back on and it looked like it was gonna make it.Trouble was that he was fucking this married gal. Her husband came up and waited for him in the parking lot one night. They got into this big fight and the husband snatched his finger back off. Then took off in the car with it. He never got it back.That just ain't right.
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