6/26/2014 12:51:34 PM: I felt this is beneficial to ANY sub or slave that is looking for a Dom/Daddy/Master...  This was written by BaadMaster for another site I grabbed it years ago - but feel it is as accurate now as it was then.    Enjoy! What is a Master?   What exactly is a Master? I have been asked this question so many times (almost as many times as slave vs. submissive!) that it demands an answer.   Only in the world of BDSM-D/s is the title 'Master' self-anointed. A Master Electrician is one who is certified by a mobster-controlled union. A Master Auto Mechanic is one who is accredited by the ASE. (I said a Master Auto Mechanic, not an honest one!) To become a Karate Master you must win a black belt from a reputable Dojo (karate school). Only in BDSM can someone simply go online and instantly proclaim him or herself a Master! Until BDSMU offers a course for 'BDSM Master certification', I can only offer some guidelines as to what I believe a Master is. A 'Master' is a skilled, experienced and knowledgeable Dominant with the capability to own, train and command a slave or submissive. Even if one is a natural Dominant both in abilities and temperament, being a Master requires more than just that. I believe there is a list of things that a Master must know before he can call himself - and be called by others in the lifestyle - a 'Master.' I will try to codify them. Since many people meet online - for example using the Match Search here at bondage.com - I think giving some guidelines as to what a Master is would be helpful. Both for those who aspires to be a Master and for the slave or submissive who is looking for a Master.   A Master must have certain personal traits. Honesty, strength of character, the ability to communicate, the ability to inspire trust and respect, good judgment, self-control, patience, self-confidence tempered by dash of humility and a sense of humor are essential elements for a Master to possess. No one person can possess all of these traits. But a Master should have most of them and strive to work on those areas where he/she might be deficient. To be able to own, possess and control another person will require more than just proclaiming 'you are mine.' This can work in a one-night stand; it will not work in a Master/slave relationship. Without these character traits, all the technical BDSM skills in the world will not make a Master.   Before I get into specifics, I would like to address two character traits I believe are critical to becoming a Master. One is 'sense of humor.' I know it is fashionable for Doms to put on their 'Dom face' and look as tough as possible. Even I wear sunglasses at night. And though a Master should not be cracking jokes like Drew Carey ('This Dom walks into a dungeon....') while training, scening with or when punishing a slave, a Master should still make the overall Master/slave experience fun. If a Master treats this whole process like an extension of the Inquisition, I believe that he/her will not be able to keep a slave for very long. Nor have much fun attempting it.   The other trait is being able to admit you made a mistake. Many Doms seem to think they cannot make - much less admit - a mistake. Everyone makes them. Everyone. There is no Doctrine of Dominant Infallibility. The ability to admit error, gracefully and without making excuses, is critical to the development of a Dom into a Master. Take this to the bank.   Now onto the requirements I feel one would need to get my accreditation as a BDSM Master, if such an accreditation existed.   One must be knowledgeable in BDSM and D/s. If there were a written test, it goes without saying that a Master would know every term in our BDSM Dictionary. A Master should have read a lot about BDSM on this site. Although I am talking about becoming a real-time Master, I believe one can learn a lot from online chat. This is a great way to exchange ideas and refine your BDSM thinking. There are great chat rooms on IRC/bondage.com. And don’t forget our Forums where bondage.com members post their personal experiences and opinions. I have included a Book List where the best BDSM books are listed. The more you read, the more you know. And reading is still the best way to understand the mental dynamics of the Master/slave relationship - which is what a Master must have an understanding of.   Real-time experience is crucial. Even if one knows everything book-wise, he/she is still not a Master. I would think that a few years experience in the lifestyle would be necessary. It has been said that the best Dominants have had experience as a submissive. This is open to debate. But what is not open to debate is that real-time BDSM and D/s experience is essential. It is one thing to know things theoretically - let’s say by extensive reading, online chatting and participating in our Forums - but there is nothing like 'hands on' experience. (And in BDSM, 'hands on' can be a lot of fun!)   A Master should have mastered (there is that word again!) many essential real time BDSM skills. At the very least, a Master should know how to do rope bondage, should know proper and safe flogging-caning-cropping-paddling-spanking techniques, and know how to use most BDSM equipment (like the Saint Andrews Cross) safely and skillfully. A Master should know how to put a submissive into subspace and provide the proper aftercare. Although some Masters eschew public play, a Master should have gone to a bunch of play parties to get a feel for what others in the lifestyle are up to. Observing others at play parties - and joining local BDSM groups in your city and meeting others in the lifestyle - is the best way to learn these techniques.   I think a Master should have at least one specialty that he is truly an expert in. It might be fire play, rope suspension, wielding a single tail whip, Japanese rope bondage, mummification, cupping or any one of a myriad of BDSM skills. In this way, the Master not only earns respect from his/her peers, but can also teach these skills to others on their road to becoming a Master. Obviously, no one can be an expert in all areas. But a Master should strive to keep learning. Finally, a Master should always practice safe sex and safe play. Keep in mind that becoming a Master is not a destination but a step in the BDSM journey. A fun journey.   Originally written by: BaadMaster    

6/11/2014 3:51:00 PM: - RANT - It seems to me that we have grown lazy in our efforts to meet new people.  Your goal in this site may be different, but I seek a relationship - IN REAL LIFE.  But recently I have come to the conclusion that some people expect you to be PERFECTLY ALIGNED with their own personal ideals that as soon as you have a differing opinion or thought - they are gone.  Honestly - Do you actually expect to find perfection?  In a world where we are all flawed to some degree or another... in a culture that is born to acceptance of diversity... And for a relationship where you (as a submissive) give of yourself to the will of another... If you do then you are fooling yourself.  No Master (male or female) is perfectly going to have the exact same views on everything that you do.  I can't count the number of subs I have spoken to that disappear into the wind the minute I have a single thought that is NOT what in alignment with theirs.  Do I think that anyone should settle for someone they are not attracted to - or find personally unappealing - NO.  But I do think that the only person that will be the measure of perfection you seek without a single disagreement - is yourself.  So close your account and enjoy masturbation!  Because THEN it's always gonna be exactly what you want.  I am NOT PERFECT !  I have my own thoughts, ideas and impressions of the world.  I am also aware that you will NOT agree with everything I have to say or believe in.. BUT I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO!  For those of you that have no idea what negotiation is, it's the initial conversation that deals with the parts that we are not in agreement about.  But that is a conversation that is best had in person, and not online.  Too much can be lost in translation of text and email. Frankly, if you are foolish enough that one or two small concerns are enough to piss away what could be the best relationship of your life then you are not that serious in your search.  NO ONE WILL EVER BE 100%... but being so focused on the 11 or 17% that you do not agree on causes you to forget that you match on over 80% and that is better than most people ever find.  SO - if you are serious in your search and the profile you wrote is true - then you will be here a long time and unsuccessful in your search if you can't compromise on some things to get to a REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIP!  and if you can't do that.. like I said.. shut down the computer and go masturbate, you already found the lover of your dreams!