I was given the honor and privilege of giving the closing keynote speech at the Leather Leadership Conference in Nashville. I'm sharing it for those that was unable to attend.

This weekend has been all about leadership so let's talk about what leadership is and what makes a good leader? Leadership is the process by which a person or persons influences others to accomplish an objective or common goal. Leaders are not born; they are created. Anyone has the ability to be a great leader. You do this by learning and practicing good leadership skills. Let us examine a few of these skills.

Effective Communication Skills: It really doesn't matter how great a leader you are if you cannot effectively communicate your objective so that others can help you to achieve your goal. Good Listening Skills: You must have the ability to listen and not just hear what others are saying to you and yes there is a big difference. This becomes even more important when much of the communication is done via the computer since words are such a small part of how we communicate. Having the Ability to Delegate Responsibility: You cannot be everything to everyone and everywhere all at the same time so finding others that can share some of the responsibilities will help you not become too overwhelmed. Having the Ability to manage without micro-managing: Once you have delegated the task; you need to check with them to see if they need assistance or are facing any difficulties or obstacles but allow them the freedom to use their own creativity to complete the task. After all, your way is not everyone's way so allow some flexibility as long as the end result is reached. Master Yourself: Most importantly a good leader is a master of themselves. They constantly engage in self reflection and make decisions with deliberate decisiveness instead of gut reactions or personality conflicts.

So what does all this mean for our Leather Community? It means that we all have some quality of leadership and we should use whatever that is to help bring cohesiveness to this community. Leadership is not just a Dominant trait since I know many submissives that use their skills quite well, in many capacities, whether that entails creating websites, running groups, educating or using their impeccable organizing skills. On the other hand, being the boss or the head of an organization doesn't necessarily make you a good leader; it just puts you in an authoratative position. We should all participate in the process and deal with issues on a situational basis. We should lead and guide by example and avoid getting entangled in the politics of leadership. We should once again embrace Jill Carter's philosophy of "Each One, Teach One" and use whatever skill or skills that we possess to reach that 'One.' We should evaluate ourselves and our motives for why we desire to lead or be leaders, in order to keep ourselves honest and true to our cause. We should put aside our petty differences and envision the big picture because after all, "the needs of the many really do outweigh the needs of the few!" Finally, let each of us use our powers of reason and persuasion to transform this community into something we can all be proud of, a community filled with respect, understanding and unity and above all else; let us always remember to Keep LOVE in our Lifestyle! Thank You.

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do on this site.  Perhaps I am old fashioned but I come from a time when honesty, respect and loyalty was not just words but what we believed and how we lived.  I have just been informed by a friend and am putting on BLAST that MsAmanda61 stole (taking without getting permission is STEALING) a pic from my web site and is using it as her profile pic but it is a picture of ME!  As I viewed her pics I saw that she has done this with several other Dommes as well.  The fact that what she (if it is a she) did is deceitful and disrespectful is one thing but if you will lie about the basics like 'WHO YOU ARE', what else will you lie about?  I'm sure that she did not think that I would ever find out since she is targeting only females and probably didn't think that I would be on this site but you know the saying "there is no HONOR amongst thieves."  For all of those that I have met on Collarme that have been sincere, open and honest, I salute you.  For those dysfunctional ones that are on here to prey, waste people's time and ruin lives you need to stay away from me because I am sooooooo over you! 

Believe me....YOU WOULD NOT LIKE TO SEE ME ANGRY!!!!

Well I haven't had to write on here for quite some time but I want to publicly apologize to someone that I unintentionally offended here.

I am not the type of Domina that thinks that they are 'always right' and I can readily admit when I have made a mistake.  Whether you ever forgive me is up to you but I truly am sorry for the miscommunication. This has only shown me how truly important communication is and how easily we can misunderstand one another.

It is particularly upsetting to me because as a therapist, words are so very important and I pride myself in my communication skills.

I also believe in integrity and respect and I try to live by those words but I obviously failed to do so in this instance.  Life is about lessons learned and this is a costly one because not only did I lose a potential sub but more importantly I lost a potential friend.........

I fail to understand why people contact you, tell you they are interested, even ask a few questions but when you give instruction or respond for a REAL TIME meeting, you get no further replies. 

Does anyone READ anymore or are you just fantasizing, looking at pictures and jerking off?  Is online fantasy play all that you are looking for and if so, why not look for others who want the same?

Can you communicate without being vulgar, rude or a downright jerk? 

I refuse to believe that there isn't intelligent sincere people on here who can respectfully write more than a one line sentence and who can articulate about who they are (as a person) as well as what there kink is..........

If you've taken the time to READ THIS........perhaps you are one of them and you would be who I would like to hear from.

Okay, this is a new day so let me reiterate a few things.  First of all, I AM REAL TIME!! Unless you truly have the ability to come and serve me, why bother to contact me to do so?  You must be self supporting so if you are looking for someone that you can live with and take care of you, KEEP LOOKING.... FOR I AM NOT THE ONE!!  I am not a caretaker nor am I looking for one.  I am self sufficient and I expect you to be also.  Understand that I also am 'old school' so whatever else may arise from our relationship, I AM ALWAYS YOUR MISTRESS FIRST!  If you say that you are interested in SERVING ME.....ACT LIKE IT!
Don't expect that I should initiate contact through e-mails or phone calls.  I expect that of you!  I am a LADY (my name is not Lady D for nothing) and I always expect to be treated as such.  Don't think that I am going to pursue you.  If you are serious about serving, a one line sentence won't display that and if I respond to your e-mail and don't hear from you again, then obviously, you weren't that darn serious now, were you?  Be honest and be respectful and know what you want or if you aren't sure, be honest enough to say so.
Understand that this is about 'service to me' and not the other way around so try not to get hung up in the 'me,me,me syndrome.
I will respond to all that are respectful regardless of whether you are male or female, Dominant or submissive or both.  I am not interested in those that just want to play fantasy on the computer but I'm sure that there are many on this site that will play with you.  Take care and be careful out there.....always, Lady D 
www.dandslifestyle.com

I find it interesting that there are some wonderfully serious Dommes out here and we seem to ALL be going through the same thing.  Submissives who don't know who they are, what they want and are totally self absorbed.  Or the cyber ones who ignore when a Mistress says that she is looking for REAL TIME RELATIONSHIPS or they have no vocabulary at all and you open up mail to read "Hi." Then we have those who don't read at all....I think they treat this site like "Playboy" and they just browse for the pictures. (I have to say that some of you ladies are pretty HOT,LOL.)  And let us no forget those who think that Power Exchange is just 'kinky sex.'  It is sad and frustrating and I have read so many ads from women who have the same complaint.  We even tell you to stop wasting our time and you do so anyway.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  READ MY AD AND IF YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT PURSUING ME, THEN DON'T BOTHER TO ANSWER.  DON'T THINK THAT I WILL PURSUE YOU!  IF YOU SAY YOU WANT TO SERVE ME THEN YOU DAMN SURE BETTER ACT LIKE IT......ENOUGH SAID!