6/7/2016 11:27:14 AM: Everywhere I look online these days, it's filled with people who are traumatized by trying to date and meet others online. I'm one of them. I'm really turned off by what I'm seeing.  I do want to meet someone so I stick it out, but it's a disgusting quagmire. I don't do well in this environment where by default I have to prove that I'm worthy of your time and attention because of all the idiots that came before me. I'm not saying I'm giving up, but my heart's just not in it anymore.

5/31/2016 2:03:38 PM: So this guy's post popped up on a profile I have elsewhere: Master seeks the most worthless of all female cunts females are the lowest form of life; simply a support system for a cunt hole meant to be a receptacle for the Cum of the Superior Male species. These 'things' were Created ONLY to Serve for OUR Emotional, Visual & Sexual Pleasure at OUR Whim or Desire as We see fit they have No Rights, they are to be kept naked, Collared & Chained for use at any time; they are to eat from a bowl on the floor, to live in a cage only allowed out to be Used they kneel at Our feet, they Worship the ground We walk on, they are to be seen but not heard, they are never permitted to wear bras or panties to make their holes & udders available for Our pleasure at any time, their eyes are always lowered in the Presence of other Men, they are truly nothing more than 'Objects' born to Serve Us as We Deem Necessary Typically I'm getting that sinking sickening feeling in my stomach as I read this, thinking...'why am I reading this...another one of 'those' ridiculous postings. So please note, I do not think of any sex as lower or want to degrade and debase a person as worthless etc etc ad nauseum. BUT!!! I did find some things interesting about this post, it's just that I come at it from a much better angle I think. First and foremost, I want the vanilla side of a relationship. I want to go out and be two loving vanilla normal people having a great time with everything there is to do out of the house. But then everything changes once we walk indoors, in private and I'm able to put the collar on your neck. it's all about the collar. it's the on/off switch. The border between two worlds. We've had an AMAZING summers day on a great outdoors adventure, just getting back home, exhausted and elated. We walk in the door, I go and put things away and settle in. You strip naked, kneel on the pillow by the door, head down, and wait to be collared. When I'm ready I'll come over and touch you, pet you, caress you all over. Use touch and soothing words to get you back into the submissive headspace. Mostly likely lead you into the bath or shower. Have you help me cook and tidy. THEN I can have you collared, cuffed and chained for use at any time. Although it's dinner time, so that can wait. Now depending on how it all works out, you will be eating dinner from a bowl and drinking from a bowl. usually that ends up being on the coffee table and not so much the floor. I've found that I like it better when your face is closer to me so I can see you while you eat. There's something really erotic about watching you happily stick your lips into that water bowl and suck. The way your cheek looks, and the peaceful look on your face. It's kinda like happening upon a deer drinking from a stream in the forest. it tickles my brain in a weird way.....it's always the simple things, eh? To live in a cage. Well, I would totally try that if I had the room for one. But it would have to be lined well, and comfy. I've been drooling over those little cages that are under and part of the bed. Now that would be fantastic. I would totally try it out first. Hey, I can be good little sub too. Most of the things I do as I Dominant are things I know I'd love as a sub. Not every night in the cage...I do love to cuddle at night. Oh, how could I forget...one of the finer things in life is to cuff you to my side of the bed a little while before bedtime, so that when I ccome in, I can roll you over to...your cold side...while I bask in the freshly warmed slave body heat. In the winter time, that really is nice. I know, I'm so cruel, it's cold over there, girls don't like being cold. But then since you are already cuffed, it takes 30 seconds to clip your cuffs to THAT side of the bed, and then....I'm sure I can heat things up. They kneel at our feet and worship the ground we walk on. oh, I'm all about the kneeling at my feet. I just love having you there. I am always touching you, wether that be brushing your hair, running my hands through it, touching you all over. You would'nt be allowed to wear clothes. I'd be adamant about you always keeping your leps open, and making you always available. If I walk past and see you with closed legs at any given time, I would have to come over and 'adjust you' properly with a corrective manhandling, followed by a light smack or pinch somewhere. I do really love it when you ask to be allowed to put on clothes. I have an eye for female fashion so it's a lot of fun for me to have a say in what you wear. I will always comment on your choices...LOL...like those shoes...they must match the rest of it. You're going to be asking me anyhow what I like at some point....so I have found kink or vanilla, I love playing dressup with you and seeing what looks good on you etc. LOVE DRESSUP. Hello!! look at my profile. And it's usually me doing the worshipping with my hands all over your body. Long gilding caresses with pressure, all over you....always. That never stops. that's how i recharge my soul, is touching you. You are my slave goddess...I need to bind you up so you stay still and I can worship you...in my own little way. seen but not heard. laughing sigh That's collar rule #2. No speaking without permission. I've always laughed at that one. it's like x--> approaches infinity equation. It never really gets there, no matter how hard you try. But it's still a great journey. No speaking without permission...yeah, that's a big one. Careful what you wish for though. There have been times when I've truly gotten sick and tired of you asking to speak 50 times an hour. And Im like....well, this is what you put all that effort into, you asked for it! 'relax and speak freely'. There you go. took 4 seconds to say and solves that problem. Then it only takes another 3 seconds to call you back to attention. Okay groovy. Another good one is to allow you to speak anytime you want, but you need to be kneeling at my feet. Preferably kissing them as you do. To anyone rolling your eyes reading that....that was actually my idea one time when I switched, and was collared and had to ask permission to speak. When given the chance I would kneel and kiss her feet while I asked for something. I really enjoyed doing that to be honest. Looking at both sides, I believe there was greater pleasure in doing that then receiving it. The part about having eyes lowered in the presence of other men. No looking ME in the eye without permission is more like it. I think that's collar rule 4 or 5, I love eye contact restrictions. I very much enjoy telling you when and where you may look. I love punishing for this one. It's not hard, might be a little slap or a sustained pinch, nothing crazy, but it's something that's always ongoing. You will always be forgetting this one and sneaking looks. Like the no touching rule. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being touched. I want your hands all over me. But only with permission. I want to see your desire to touch me, only to snap your hands back at the last second with a giggle....because you ALMOST broke a rule, and barely avoided punishment. Yeah, I do not like the part about 'ONLY' being objects to serve us. I want so much more than that. I GIVE so much more than that. It was interesting where my mind went reading this original post.

2/13/2015 1:16:42 PM: I was reading about the new 50 shades of grey movie this morning(feb/13/2015) and the film critics basically wrote what I always thought of the book/movie. I'm just not really interested in seeing it.  I recall a few years back, this woman at work, with whom I'm always talking about kink with...actually, she was the first person to buy leather kink gear from me. Anyhow, she kept coming up to me and telling me I need to read this book, 50 shades of grey. I wasn't interested. I kept telling her I don't need to read about that stuff, I live it everyday. I used to love the reactions I'd get from her, telling her about all the crazy stuff I'd do to my gf. I read the 'claiming of sleepig beauty' series, and the story of O years ago. Not really wanting to read anymore of that sort of thing, not unless I was looking for new ideas, or how other people do M/s. Which I always am, but again, not interested.  But she insisted I read a few pages anyhow, so she opens the book and gives it to me to read while we were on lunch one day. I read about two and a half pages until the end of the chapter. When I was done, my first response was...'is that it?' Where's the rest? Is that all they do? There's nothing interesting in there. I was kinkda hoping for something interesting. Then she says it ends with the girl leaving because he wanted to spank her. To which I laughed, but at the same time I'm thinking...yeah, that can be a little off putting. You need to be careful on how you introduce spanking/whipping, things of that nature. I've had a few partners get upset over a spanking that was too harsh. Hell, I've been on the receiving end of a few harsh spankings that I didn't like at all, and it ruined things.  But that's why you are careful with it. There's an art to mixing pleasure with pain. It's really incredible actually. It's not the same animal as a punishment spanking, or whipping for the hell of it. When you mix the two together, pleasure and pain it becomes something else entirely. I was extrememly surprised by the power of it.  When I first got into kink back when I was 23, I met a woman who wanted to spank me with a riding crop. Are you crazy!!? Why the hell would I want you to do that? I find absolutely nothing erotic about being hit...oh, but please put your vibrator back in my ass, that was awesome!! I nearly hyperventilated with excitement the day she bought a strapon...but that's a whole other story.  VBSHow I learned to like the paddle/spanking....   ...This was maybe 15 years ago...3 years into an 8.5 year relationship. We were just a normal vanilla couple that liked kink in the bedroom. Actually I loved kink in the bedroom, she just went along with me because she loved my passion for it. And, well, I'm good with my hands...so I was always the Dominant one in bed.  We'd gone to a fetish event months in the past and she won a door price for one the best outfits. Catsuit, with a body harness overtop. Anyhow, her prize was a dildo, but she had plenty of those, so she traded another winner for the thick rubber paddle. It was a joke item to us. We never used it, and it sat collecting dust in the sex drawer.   One day we were having sex and most of the contents of that drawer happen to be strewn across the bed...no idea why...these things usually happened with us. Cleanup was always a huge task after sex...VBS...so we're having sex on the bed, I'm on my back, and she's on top but facing the ceiling. For some reason, I don't recall, my hand touched the paddle and so I picked it up, and being bratty, I started to lightly tap her labia region with it, as we're going at it. Now, this is a person who would freak out if I pulled a hair on her head. No pain allowed during sex for us. Neither one of us was into that sort of thing, so again, I mention I was being bratty about it, tapping her with the paddle, keeping pace with our movements. Well, she didn't freak out, or say anything, but I could tell she was responding in a good way. I was really stunned...as stunned as you can be in the middle of sex I suppose, but I kept at it. I built it up to sharp little taps, and eventually she had an explosive orgasm. We stopped, cuddled, and talked about what had just happened. It was very unusual. I didn't understand. But was very intrigued.  So I got up, sat on the end of the bed, and had her sit in my lap, back to my chest. I put her stand up mirror in front of us, so I could see what I was doing, and took that paddle and again, started tapping her labias with it. I also used her favorite dildo on her at the same time. Only this time I could see her face, and see what was going on down there. Well, within minutes, she came so hard, she splashed the mirror.  What the HELL was that? I'd been into BDSM for years at that point, and I thought I knew a thing or two about a thing or two.  Well, I was just blown away and it kinda changed my whole perception of what I thought I knew about kink. It made me realize there is so much that I don't know, and that the things I thought I knew, I am now questioning. I guess it all depends on the person you play with and not the individual kinky acts.