As i meet more people involved in this lifestyle, things become clearer to me, yet more confusing, too. In an earlier post, i mentioned that i identified as a submissive. i think "slave" is a better word, as i really do want to serve and please the Lady that i'm with. it is important to me to have Her in control from the start. To explain this, let me describe a conversation that i once had with a pro-Domme. It went something to the effect of:
Domme: so, what are You into?
Me: Submitting to You.
Domme: What things excite You?
me: Pleasing You.
Domme: Are You into ____________?
me: If You are
Domme: What would You want to happen in a session?
Get the idea? i don't want to tell someone what i want. To me, that's not giving up control to the Domme.
Having never been in a "real" BDSM relationship, i don't know if i'm on the right track. But it seems like a lot of the enjoyment would come from exploring new and different experiences for both of us. Of course, i have hard limits that i would expect to be respected, as i suspect the Lady i'm with would have some limits, too.
Although i'm now leaning away from the "submissive" label and more toward the "slave" label, i think it is important that i have a right to my feelings and opinions. Of course, the Lady is always right (hehehehehe), but understands that, when it comes down to it, i'm still a person - not a doormat.
i recently met a Lady for whom i would gladly become a slave. She is really responsible for helping me sort this out. But, alas, She did not feel that we had the right chemistry, which is very disappointing. There is a slave out there somewhere that will be very, very lucky
Maybe there's another Lady here that could help set me straight..... |