4/9/2024 6:59:49 PM: More thoughts on free will  (in response to someone - not on this site - saying that a sub/slave does not give up their free will but is acting on their free will by choosing to be a sub or slave. In addition, they argued that free will cannot be destroyed.)   I have been considering this question for a time as well, and I am in agreement. That there is free will is what makes the D/s relationship possible; without that choice, it is something else altogether.   I do disagree that free will cannot be “beaten” out of someone by physical, mental, and/or emotional means. You say, “even the most beaten down person, given an opportunity to escape, will most likely use their free will to take that opportunity rather than continue in an abusive situation and refuse to take an open door to freedom.” This is empirically inaccurate. Statistically, it takes abuse survivors 7 attempts to leave their abuser for good. Similarly, historically, many African American slaves were dismayed and upset by the Emancipation Proclamation.    One could argue that abuse survivors are simply choosing to return or to stay in the abusive situation or that these freed men and women would have freely chosen to be enslaved if they had been permitted. But I believe that would be taking a rather narrow view of freedom, ignoring generational abuses, torture, conditioning, systematic oppression, and much more. To say that these people retain all the power and faculty of their free will and are able to execute it autonomously is simply inaccurate.    Will can be “beaten” out of someone by several methods. It can also be shaped by outside factors and people. I think some subs and slaves are likely conditioned by doms in such a way that their will is too greatly compromised to be recognized as free will at all. In my view, these cases fall outside of the D/s dynamic… they are something else entirely, and I am deeply unsettled by them.    As a sub, having my will compromised is part of the allure. I want my brain focused and numbed to its usual wandering. Personally, I would encourage being made a “mindless sex toy” void of any other desire than to please, obey, and feel. However, that desire is only for a duration of time. There is still free will and choice because I understand and know the differences between my “usual” and what I long for.    Now my opinion is not without issue. It alleviates some of the concerns with your opinion that free will is always present, but it comes up against another potential concern that I am unable to parry with at this time. What of the sub who is like me in all regards, but who may wish to have their will extinguished permanently or for a long duration of time? I think it is likely one can freely choose to surrender their will, but the issue is the duration of time that the surrender can endure without issue. We are not static beings. We do change, age, grow, age, learn, forget….   So it cannot be the case that one can freely choose to be a slave at this point in time and at all future points in time. It is just an impossibility to my mind. You cannot know what you may want in the future… but we do make future choices in real life all the time. So why not this choice? I’m unsure of where the line is, how it got there, and what factors are at play.    This is why I said I am deeply unsettled by some arrangements I consider outside of the D/s dynamic…. I am unsure if I can proscribe any sort of social denouncement concerning them. That is, I am unwilling to say that they are “bad” or “wrong” or “ought” not be permissible. I am agnostic in this regard - unwilling to come to a conclusion. Perhaps in time I will come to some sort of answer after I have had more experiences and gleamed more knowledge of persons in such relationships. Until then, I withhold judgement.

4/9/2024 7:14:57 AM: Saw a super scary bug in my basement with like a gazillion legs.... marriage/cohabitation is looking extra good right now...)

4/7/2024 7:38:19 PM: Things to consider and explore: autonomy submission dominance conditioning will (and how they all intertwine and connect) If you, dear reader, are aware of any writings concerning autonomy and submission, please feel free to send them my way. I would be eager to read them. some of my own thoughts (borrowed from a response I sent to someone regarding some of these topics): You can CONDITION someone to derive pleasure from pleasing or obeying when performing an act that they do not find intrinsically pleasurable, but the response is not authentic and derived. It’s been manipulated. Once you have ANNIHILATED someone’s will, you have gone outside of a D/s dynamic and ceased being a Dom at all. Doms can assist in molding will. But if your sub has no will at all and you have removed from them any sense of autonomy, then they are unable to give you their submission. The D/s dynamic begins and ends with that surrendering of will. No will? = No surrender & no D/s relationship.  A Dom cannot order their sub to walk across burning coals and enjoy it because I told you to do it and it pleases me that you have obeyed. The sub isn't going to ENJOY walking across the coals. They will enjoy pleasing the Dom. These are entirely different things and it is an error to conflate the two. A sub can enjoy pleasing a Dom, but not enjoy the act they are performing. (Kantian ethics may suggest that this makes the obediance a higher order good, but I reject Kant and his deontological ethics with a brazen sweep of my hand.... that's a joke and supposed to be funny. But I don't like Kant.) People play around with all sorts of “language games” to enhance the D/s “mindset” and that is fine if it works for them. I don’t judge that at all but it wouldn’t work for me.  I’m a stickler for logic and reason and fact and truth and what words actually mean. So I balk at that sort of theatric. Now I have done it to please a dom, but it went much smoother when he explained the meaning behind it. As someone who doesn’t much care for ritual or ceremony in life in general, it is difficult for me to embrace it in this setting. Not impossible though. (lack of capitalization for em-phas-is.)

3/31/2024 9:23:31 PM: now working as an art gallery manager... which is kind of unexpected, but I'm excited. Think it'll end up being a good move. on repeat: FOND FAREWELL by Elliott Smith The litebrite's now black and whiteCause you took apart a picture that wasn't rightPitch burning on a shining sheetThe only maker that you'd want to meetThe dying man in a living roomWho's shadow paces the floorWho'll take you out in the open doorThis is not my lifeIt's just a fond farewell to a friendIt's not what I'm likeIt's just a fond farewell to a friendWho couldn't get things rightFond farewell to a friendHe said really I just want to danceGood and evil matched perfect it's a great romanceI can deal with some physic painIf it'll slow down my higher brain Croatia Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Dominican Rep. Ecuador Egypt El Salvador Estonia Faroe Islands Fiji Finland France French Guiana French Polynesia Germany Ghana Gibraltar Greece Greenland Guam Guatemala Guinea Haiti Honduras Hong Kong Hungary Iceland India Indonesia Iran Ireland Israel Italia Jamaica Japan Jordan Kenya Korea Kuwait Latvia Lebanon Liberia Liechtenstein Lithuania Luxembourg Macau Macedonia Malaysia Malta Mauritius Mexico Monaco Morocco Myanmar Namibia Nepal Netherlands Netherlands Antilles New Caledonia New Zealand Niger Nigeria Norway Oman Pakistan Panama Paraguay Peru Philippines Poland Portugal Puerto Rico Qatar Romania Russia Saint Kitts and Nevis Saudi Arabia Senegal Serbia Sierra Leone Singapore Slovakia Slovenia South Africa Spain Sri Lanka Sweden Switzerland Taiwan Tanzania Thailand Togo Trinidad & Tobago Turkey Uganda Ukraine U.A.E. United Kingdom United States Uruguay Vanuatu Venezuela Virgin Islands Vietnam