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Seeking an FLR with someone where Connection and Control are both strong. This is about a full faceted relationship, not one focused only on kink, etc. Yet, that power exchange, needed by both parties, is well recognized, explored and boundries explored. I tend to be attracted to intelligent males, alpha in the vanilla world, but who need and crave to give their submission in a relationship.
As far as more personal information and kink interests, I save that for conversation, not to advertise to the world here.
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Why I do NOT want My bags carried.
Those who know Me well, know I have gone on quite the health journey in the last 4 years. I understand much more than I once did. Due to this, I carry My own heavy cameras and camera bags, I will pick up purchases in the store that are heavy and not allow a male with Me to carry them for Me, and any attempt or offer to do so, is firmly rejected.
So, why do I do that? It is simple, staying healthy means picking up heavy things, pushing the body. Yes, I go to the gym and lift weights, use resistance machines, etc. But, I absolutely embrace when LIFE brings the chances to do so, without special time set aside, etc.
Grins, I will admit when the male is being looked at by others, as though he is not doing his job, I find his discomfort and embarassment, quite entertaining. One time, I was out photographing, with the same cameras you see on My profile, and another male chastised the male with Me, for not carrying My gear. I laughed and made it VERY clear, he was not allowed to do so, as it did not suit My purposes. Of course, it was MY decision!! |
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My profile references an FLR but it ended early in 2021, so the search resumed once again. As we all know, there are just not so many seeking so finding the one, or for some, the one(s), takes time and patience. I think for Me, it is the challenge to find enough of the latter! |
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As I watch the news of the many revelations to/of different male celebrities who have acted inappropriately toward women, with many of them claiming they didn't realize how their actions were perceived/felt by the women they gave their "attentions" to. It is obvious how many women have tolerated less than proper behavior, and did so for many varied reasons.
For the submissive/slave males on here, let Me make some things clear. For most Women, especially Dominant ones... when we want you to be sexual, show us your genitals, do specific acts of submission... we will tell you. Your job is to politely show your willingness to submit.. and do so when told to do so. Until then.. DO NOT DO IT. |
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How hard should it be? Nope, not talking about the male organ, I am talking about a relationship. I had met someone in the last two years whose company I enjoyed. We met on a D/s site so that understanding was present. Yet we had our differences in needs and expectations. So, despite being the Dominant where some believe in the "bull in a china shop approach", I worked to find common ground/compromise where those needs were quite different. It meant, I had to work to not be "Me" in some ways. Where I loved closeness and communication, I left more room for his personal space. The relationship ended because the distance in needs/wants was just too great, and he decided he didn't wish to attempt to bridge the gap. I was hurt and disappointed, but moved on. Today, I am grateful it ended. Instead of Me working so hard, I am with someone who makes it easy. Its not because he is "Mr. Super-sub", but simply because we are a better match. Sure, there is work involved, but it is minor in comparison. I get to be Me.. and that.. is easy! |
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I do love conversation, good quality, interesting, entertaining conversation! Knowing that, if we are not actively engaged in such a conversation, and you write Me, have some good old fashioned composition in the message. I strongly encourage a greeting, and a couple more sentences of what is on your mind, maybe be so polite as to "introduce yourself" a bit, etc. This is not a school English class, but keep some of those lessons in your mind a bit more. I realize not everyone will write you back on here, when you do put in some effort, but your chances of Me writing you back then, are pretty damn good! |
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Instant D/s. I have been talking with a male submissive who met an incredible woman on here. He has gone to see her now a couple of times. He cut the first meeting short because he was not seeing enough Dominance from her. The second did not go to his liking either, apparently. He is seeking a long term, very strong, Power Exchange.
I don't know his past and how he expects things to go, nor do I know just what this woman has in mind. Yet, I see in him some of My own mistakes, and wrong assumptions. I have met people and done some "playing" right away. That is all it is, it is not true submission, it is play. It may bring out the fun chemical release we enjoy from it, that short term thrill, but that is all it is.. short term.. and in many ways, meaningless. For Me... the fulfillment is in the longer term relationship. Where, over time, when it is not always "fun" or "convenient", someone submits to My rules, My limits, My direction.. even when they may not "feel like it". Yet.. devotion..love....even habit... they give Me their best, submit to a rule they don't like, receive a paddling when they don't feel they deserve it.... or even clean the bathroom a second time, because I decided they didn't do it right the first time. Those things.. fulfill Me... and they take time. You want to submit, then submit to My timeline, My vision... My way. These more satisfying relationships take some time... and impatience has no place in them. |
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I am thinking this morning there should be a button in the email area on here that allows you to "delete and block" an email without actually opening it. How nice it would be when you preview a message and know its some of the "trolling/spam" type emails to get rid of it and never deal with that UserID again in two clicks.. 1.checkmark/tick off the box, and hit the button to delete/block. I know as a Female Dominant, I don't get near the garbage mail the males on here get, but those who write that obviously didn't read My profile, offer nothing I want/need... (including just saying something of intelligence)... what a great way to get rid of the pesky things. |
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This morning someone looked at My profile, so I took a look at theirs in return. Unlike Me, they have posted a photo of themselves on their profile. I used to do that, but changed My view on doing so, for privacy reasons.
When I looked at their photo, my first thought was wondering why people chose a photo where it looks like they may or may not have just gotten out of bed, etc. Why not chose one where it looks like you, but it looks like you do put an effort into your grooming and clothes. Secondly, keep your photo up to date? My own rule when I share photos of Myself, is to share one less than 6 months old. That is easy for Me to do, I am a photography nut. I recognize it is not as easy for everyone. However, five years old should be Max, in My view. With so many cameras these days, it should not be a huge deal to do. What this person's photo did do, was have a date stamp on it, so one could figure out it was not recent. At least that is honest, so you can figure out that they would have changed some by now (the photo was 12 years old).
I am not trying to run down anyone, so if you think this is about you, I am not trying to offend. I am speaking as one who is seeking, with some honest thoughts that I hope helps someone else find the one for them. |
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I was thinking this morning of two sides to a coin. When you need to double down and work harder for a relationship you value, but is not working right, and when you need to let go and move on. I hate to just quit, especially with relationships, because unless you have two perfect people with all their luggage emptied out and taken care of, you are going to have issues/troubles. I try very hard to figure out Mine, be open about them and attempt to minimize their effects on the relationship, etc. If I care about someone, I also work hard to let them, be them. I don't need them to be like Me (nor want them to be).. and I know they will come with their own luggage filled with issues, who doesn't? So, when it is "quitting", and when is it "letting go"?
As I puzzled over that, an answer came. It is quitting when the other person is trying, committed to doing the same. When they demonstrate they are also working toward that goal. Just because it is not easy, sometimes it is actually painful, does not mean you stop trying. That would be quitting. When there is not a commitment, when the other is not demonstrating the relationship is of value to them, when their words and actions make it clear.... then it is letting go. Open your hand, release what is in it, because once you do, your hand is free, for something better. |
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It is interesting to watch how people reveal themselves in their profiles and journal entries. I have noticed sometimes the choice of a name, meant to portray a strength is really an area with which they have personal struggles. Someone whose name is meant to say that they are open or honest, happy, devoted, etc... those things may be areas in which they are not so strong. This is not always the case.. no broad brush strokes here, but it happens often enough to notice it.
Personally, I have noticed a fair amount of profiles and journals among the submissive males where they are angry about something or someone on here, or in life, and vent away, expressing their anger. It is how one handles the anger, or how quick they are to anger. I have learned that those public ventings are red flags to Me. I don't have any issue with someone being upset or hurt from time to time, if it doesn't happen to you, you likely are not human. However, to Me, it indicates that they may not be a good fit in My life.
The bulk of My current profile came at a time I was upset/hurt. However, I went inside to figure out the lesson I learned, to find how to make it beneficial to Me. So there are words about accepting each other, imperfection being "normal", and an emphasis on the importance of communications. I don't want to carry anger around with Me, nor do I want someone who does. Finding a way to process a situation into a valuable lesson and forgive as needed, seems to work out better, and it is nice to be among others who understand that as well. |
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A young man wrote today. He is young, 20+ years younger than I am. He wanted to compliment My profile. Unlike many I have had write to Me, this young man spoke of the age difference between us, and recognized My feelings on it. He is a mature man, not trying to argue a point with Me, but respecting My words. Based on that, and other things he said, he will make a wonderful submissive male for someone. |
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I have a dear widower submissive friend who lives a world away. He lost his Dominant wife 20 years ago and has been missing that structure, that type of a relationship ever since. However, when he talks to Me, it seems the subject that returns over and over, so much so that rarely is another subject brought up, is My Dominant personality, etc. People, as you talk to each other, and get to know each other, don't build it all on one thing... this need for an FLR, or Power Exchange... keep in mind that you both have many aspects to your personality, many interests in life, and enjoy the whole person. |
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It is a cold January morning. The temperature outside is just in the double digits. It has been several days for Me of a headache. I am sitting here with a cup of coffee, and dreaming of how nice it would be to have a strong pair of hands massaging the sore muscles in My shoulders, neck and head, releasing the tension from the pain. Its a simple thought, but at the moment, it is but a dream. |
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As I was browsing on here this morning, I was noticing a few of the profile photos, the real ones, that show a photo of the person. Now, I know someone people put a profile photo up that is not recognizable for privacy reasons. However, those who put up a photo of themselves, intended to be clear, in hopes of attracting someone, or at least, not scaring someone away.. really ought to have a good friend to show their photo to first and get advice. The criteria I would use, and have used, is this.
1. Is it a recent photo to fairly represent how the person looks now? Ten year old photos may be flattering, but they are not accurate now.
2. Does the person look good in the photo? By that, I mean, is hair, makeup, and for men, properly shaved, etc? How about clean, decent clothes? Show yourself in a photo with clothes you might wear on a first date.. so you are looking nice, not like you are in the middle of a 5 day camping trip in the middle of the woods and haven't showered for a few days.
3. What else is in the photo with you? If you took the photo in your home, look at the whole picture. For Me, if I see chaos in the background, My interest in the person decreases some. Look and see what information is in the photo, besides you!
If this journey to finding someone is something important to you, invest in having someone help you get a good photo. Cell phone selfies work in a pinch, but try and do better. :) |
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I had quite a few responses to the journal entry I did about the condition of a car when on a date. I just took a few minutes and read back on past journal entries on this account. It seems I have a small subject list I decide to comment on. Those subjects seem to be mostly about honesty and dealing with distance. I hope soon to be journaling more on enjoying a successful FLR instead. The candle of hope for it is burning brighter these days. |
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After having a "first" date today, I was thinking about the different vehicle "conditions" I have seen from men (submissive) I have dated. I have had a few pick Me up in vehicles that were "trash cans" inside. Piles of recycling bottles all over, bags and other garbage from fast food meals, food on My seat, crumbs from fast food meals, etc. Now, I don't always (ok, not usually) keep My car meticulously clean, BUT, if I am going to give someone a ride, and I think they are special, I clean it up. I do that simply so I know/hope they will be comfortable. So, now, I warn the "first date" to make sure the inside of the vehicle is clean, not white glove clean, but, at least, picked up. The most recent shocked Me, it was a vehicle that is not brand new at all, not brand new to him, yet the inside could not have been more tidy and (like brand new) CLEAN. I really enjoyed that, and him. |
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Sometime a year or so ago, someone on here used to message Me and gave Me a story about who he was, what he was seeking, etc. Then I noticed his same profile text would appear in different profiles claiming to live in different cities, although his age/height, etc., would be the same. Of course, that made it easy to see the person was playing games on here. Now, the person returns, profile text not so elaborate, but claims to be nearing the end of a divorce, wants a "chance", or at least a friendship. Seriously???? If you are going to play games out here and tell multiple lies, then want someone to treat you with respect and perhaps become a friend, that is NEVER going to happen. Lying is not something you "oops" and do, it is a conscious choice, and once done, it IS done. |
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Wow. I love technology. I closed this account, and My other (TotallyDomme) six or so months ago. Today, I decided to try and see if they could still be accessed. Apparently, CS does not clean their server very often. Its still here, journals, emails.. all of it. So, now what do I do with 3 CS accounts (JustAwhile)... Hmmmm. |
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I find it surprising how many come to this site, claiming to seriously seek, but begin the whole process with lying, in large ways and small. I understand those who may not be as honest in their profiles if they are worrying about this unique part of themselves being exposed to the rest of the world. It is those who lie about themselves to others on here, while claiming to be sincere, and wanting to be taken seriously. Truth is not something that can be stretched, it "IS", or "IS NOT". This is one area there are no shades of gray. Truth, and its proper use, leads to trust. Any relationship, and any D/s interaction requires trust (or stupidity). Truth and Trust cannot exist without each other. So as soon as I see you are willing to compromise on Truth, you will find I have nothing to allow you, in Trust. |
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Sometimes I think I am pretty good at knowing when someone is sincere, or not.... now and then, I am reminded I "am" still fallible. |
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Well, the site has been up and down for days, now I cannot reply to messages. Frustrating! |
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If you are on here for "play", as many are, the following is not for you. For those who are here seriously seeking a true relationship, don't talk yourself into justifying lying on your profile. It is not OK. Be who you are, for good, and bad...but be honest. The truth will come out eventually, and how is the other person to view you, knowing you were lying to be more appealing. What else will you justify lying about? For a long term chance at a relationship, honesty and trust are absolutely essential and once given good reason to be doubted, it is tough to build again. |
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"Real Life!" I had the wonderful experience of having dinner last night with someone I met on here. We all know how rare it is that the leap is made from this virtual world, to.. "real life", sitting face to face with someone and talking, instead of sitting in front of a screen, typing on a keyboard, or talking on the phone. Often distance, or dishonesty, or distrust.. prevent it from happening. Of course, it doesn't help that I live in a sparsely populated place. As we talked, he told Me how rare it is to find a Dominant Female, who answers emails, who is honest about who they are, not angry at men, and.... not "professional". For Me, it is rare to find someone who is true to who they are, and who is able/willing to overcome distance. After beginning his day on the road at 5am, driving 4.5 hours to a Northern Michigan work location, working all day, then driving 1.5 hours to meet Me, then returning 1.5 hours back, it was not an "easy or convenient" thing for him to do. However, when you realize how rare and unique the opportunity, you are willing to do what needs to be done. Kudos! |
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Over the years I have been searching for a LTR, I have learned a few lessons. One of those is that if you are quite some distance apart from each other, there will be substantial costs to overcome that distance. I also know, right now, I don't have the ability to do so. Therefore when someone shows interest in a possible relationship, I will question them on their ability to overcome the distance. One person recently thought that was not an appropriate question, until you knew if there was compatibility. Why would that even matter, if you don't have the ability to overcome the distance? It is not about endless possibilities, it is practical life. So, if you want a "real" relationship, start by knowing what you can do, and what you cannot. |
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| Age: 30 |
| Lome,
Togo |
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