I’ve recently gotten out of a long term vanilla relationship, and I have realized something.  The d/s dynamic is something I need in my relationship for it to work.  While I still want all the normal relationship things, without a bdsm element, ultimately I will not be fully satisfied.  And entering into a relationship where I can’t be fully happy would just not be fair to the person I’m with.  So I find myself here, hoping to find a relationship that incorporates vanilla and d/s.

I live and work in Boston, and outside of kink I enjoy the usual things for a 30something city dweller. Reading, movies, a few tv shows now and then, spending time with friends.  I’m a decent cook and love learning new things, and find no conflict between being a dominant and enjoying cooking for ones partner.  I find the idea that being the dominant partner in a relationship should mean that you can never do anything nice for your partner to be strange and foreign.  Why would someone never want to do things to make your partner happy, even if she does serve you?

As far as kink goes I definitely identify as a dominant.  Although this has in the past played out primarily as a bedroom dynamic I have explored day to day control as well and definitely wish to explore that further.  Specific kinks vary of course but some very dependent on who I am with.  I can be a fairly enthused sadist with the right masochist, but find my enjoyment of inflicting pain is tied closely with her enjoyment of receiving it, or enjoyment of the submission to it.  I can be mean, but not cruel.