hauntedmelody on Collarspace

haunteddes

hauntednig


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	I know most people see this as a place for a quick hookup, but thats not what Im looking for. Please pass me by if thats what youre looking for. I am widowed, with my husband having passed in November, 2015. Id like to find a patient, Christian, Domly sort who is interested in developing a loving relationship with a large woman first, and eventually add in some Ds. Must like children, as I am a single parent. Please feel free to message me. Although I am happy to talk, I rarely initiate conversation. I assume if you pass me by there was something in my profile that didnt suit you. Best wishes in finding that right person for you! melody

3/21/2016 10:55:04 PM

I've been looking at myself, at what and who I am, about what I'm seeking, and I've reached a few conclusions. One is that it scares me to be submissive, and I need to do some personal work to be willing to let that out again. One measure I've taken is to start writing journals on a regular basis. These journals are more personal right now than what I'm feeling I can post on here and put out for the world to see. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to let the right person read them, however.

Another conclusion that I've reached is that I'm really looking for a Christian guy. I'm anxious about putting this out there, as I have a lot of friends that are not, and I don't want to imply anything negative in that regard. I just think that since I'm really looking for a lifetime relationship, this is something that really matters to me.

3/11/2016 7:52:40 PM

Aching

My soul is empty and broken

Filled with loss and longing

My body screams for his touch

Instead, I am alone

My emptiness feels immeasurable

My soul, hot to the touch

Aching for coolness

My tears are endless

The fount of them leaving room for nothing else

My heart is nailed to the floor of my chest

Weighted by an anvil

The air, sucked from my longs through my stomach

I hold myself, but find no comfort

Rocking myself, I find no relief

My faith has been decimated

The remains sticky and irritating

A cob web that has been walked through

Clinging for substance

Yielding only futility

Emptiness.

Meaninglessness.

Futility.

These are now my life.