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I am the little girl who isn't allowed to cross the street,
but never thought to cross the street to begin with. |
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The cars they go by,
So quickly without concern.
One day they will stop.
I wrote that haiku years ago. Someone on here said they would like to read some, so I sent it.
A simple thing to make someone happy. Does it always have to be a strain or a huge thing to make someone happy? Does it always have to be extreme? For them? From you?
I see quite a few on here with .....BURN ME! BRAND ME! LOCK ME AWAY!
And I'm over here, would you like chocolate chip or sugar cookies?
I am thankful I am not extreme with my actions, but I am with my love and admiration.
Honestly it must be tiring to be with someone in that capacity on either end.
I've dealt with both Dominants and submissives who were very pawful.
(yes I cave to a submissive now and then) but I find that even the most simplest of task they will not undertake and never come back again. I suppose I do it out of compassion for them, but it is clear that they are not submissive and have no desire to serve. Just to wank. |
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Finding a girl who will take what you give and give what you need.
Is that the premise? Long years of searching whittled down into one sentence?
Sure her feelings and thoughts may or may not count for you... But is it nice when they do.
a simple foundation.
*ponders* |
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Where oh where are my priorities! Where is my discipline. Where is my self control. When do I grow up? Do I have to grow up? Do I need to grow up? Can I be me and be of use? Do I have to change?
When you engage someone who is of a controlling nature, (and lets say that relationship flourishes) Do you balance out the percentage of what they are not? Does everyone expect or hope you at some point will be 50/50?
Will they want to keep you a mess? Are you at your best when you are a mess? If they change you to ..."dress the part, speak the part, look and act the part" are you just a live puppet in a perpetual performance?
Are girls (or men as the case may be) just potential actors in someone else's show when it comes to submissiveness? |
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There is a bunch of stuff in my head to get out, but I never have the time to get it all out. Things pop in that I think might be useful for someone who is trying to meet someone. Or trying to understand their feelings and such. Or ideas on things for relationships. One day I might be able to dedicate more to this. Right now, I am still trying to figure out how to not burn cookies. |
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Is it not about sex for you? I am okay with that. Perhaps for you it is more about truly guiding and having someone learn from you about something other than... sex. Maybe it is about simple control and someone respecting you enough to follow your lead.
Now, don't get me wrong, sex is good, but all this doesn't always have to be about the sex act. I would imagine that the term BDSM has been used as a blanket statement to cover kinks, but it has obtained it seems a certain amount of vulgarity when it is simply a way of interaction between two people.
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Perhaps it is age but if you are angry at the world, please pass me by.
If you lose your temper constantly, pass me by.
If you don't have the patience to figure something out without blowing your top, pass me by.
If you get angry as heck when your favorite character dies, by all means, lets talk! |
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Today my desire to be little and taken care of is overwhelming. I am not whining or crying or stomping my feet, i just can clearly see and feel the need. It will pass much like other urges and i will nestle back into my form. I wonder if that is the feeling a caretaker has when they cannot reach out to help someone they clearly could help but know it is a subject they cannot breech. How do you find someone if you are too afraid to ask or tell. Yay this place!!!!*sigh* |
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Why does it hurt so much when I can't understand something. |
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I watched a tv show this weekend. It was about men who own dolls. Life size dolls. While watching it they determined that these folks were possibly in the autism spectrum. Another angle was just purely wanting the extreme control. I simply looked at it being the guys did not want to be rejected.
This brought me to think, what an interesting offer to be someone's living doll for a moment in time. I would have only a few things that could not be done to me, change my hair color or length, no tattooing, or body modifications, but otherwise, to let someone have that complete control of me and me not say a word while in their presence brings a sense of comfort.
Now of course being I am organic, would require a different type of care than a doll would, but it would provide them with a more realistic interaction and perhaps give them the confidence to "attempt" to develop something more with someone.
I did notice one thing, the men may be more submissive, than dominate. As one spoke of one of his dolls being very strong. So this to me may be a need he feels needs filled to be in the presence of a strong woman and care for her.
The other spoke of if I want to I can ignore her. That is something that is "bargained" for in a regular relationship, or a learned thing. (when I am reading, leave me alone) type thing.
regardless, it would be interesting to be a surrogate of sorts for someone like that.
(corrected grammar typos and spelling! argh!) |
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Question: Would you take on a girl knowing full and well that at a moments notice, that she would no longer be yours simply because someone said to her ....come back? Could you make good use of her during that time and still treat her like she was going to be yours always... knowing her heart, some part of it, would always belong to and long for another? |
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I DO NOT LIKE mushroom soup.  |
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I discovered last night that a little reassurance goes a long way. I don't like to be kept in the dark and I like to know what is going on and be reassured that everything is going to be okay. (even if it is a lie) I don't think I would be a very good lead blindly kind of girl. At least not today. |
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I remembered how to spell my name finally. whew! |
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My brain is begging you to think of me today. I am quite lost. |
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I respond to dominance, not filth. I Suppose some use it as a gauge to see what kind of girl they are dealing with and toss out a crude statement to judge the level at which the girl is readily able to talk about body parts. Even if this was purely about sex for me, and it is totally the opposite, I think I would be offended. I don't know if I am a prude or just feel that dirty/filthy talk just isn't for me. |
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Weakness vs Strength
I admit I am weak. I lack the strength to do what is right. What is good. I know that will always keep things hidden out of fear.
I am not here to be made strong nor am I here to have my weakness taken advantage of by someone who perceives themselves as strong.
I know the difference between a strong person and someone who is weak and puts on a front.. I have tasted it. |
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Always forgive my writing please as I try my best to use the right words to say things. In my head I talk as though it is a conversation. You know how three days later your friend comes up and says a totally random word and you are like yes! Because they are answering the question you all had 3 days ago and nothing more needs to be said other than that word?
That's what this is like for me... in this *looks around* space.
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What music to you equate with all this? I find some music I really enjoy listening to, but I don't equate to all this. Each set of sounds has a different effect for me. A different part of my life, of my day. I don't know if this is something that has to do with growing up and listening to certain songs or hearing them during different events, or if their is a certain rhythm or feeling that I get from the different pieces of music that activates (or stirs) certain feelings. |
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I say I am patient, but I am discovering.... I 'm really not. |
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I find it very interesting how I respond to something simple. How my toes and legs go quite numb from what is said (that was not sexual). I am thankful something can make me feel that way. |
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