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	cyrano2u

i identify as a baby girl because i love a Dom that is gentle, nurturing and fun as well as Dominant and in Charge. i have officially been exploring this lifestyle since June 13th of 2015, so i am very new. Some of my favorite things so far are being restrained, edging, forced orgasms, throat fucking and a good spanking. i am a squirter so that is well.....amazing. More than anything is the power exchange....it is so very....indescribable. i love erotica, sensuality, sexual stimulation, sensory stimulation and mental stimulation and am inclined to best fit with a Gentleman that uses His charm to seduce me and create a bond of trust--rather than a man who demands and beats His chest :-)

TRUST is sometimes elusive for me, so it is important for me to find someone who is willing to invest the time and energy to build that foundation of trust and develop a bond with me. Once that bond is created....oh my! Anything is possible. i am a beautiful woman and deserve to be courted. This courtship would assist me in attaining the willingness to trustfully submit. For me, Submission is not a personality type but rather a deep seated need......a gift that requires trust, vulnerability and work (from both parties). i respond well to encouragement, clear instruction and nurturing for my baby girl who so desperately wants out :-) i am a bbw working on being less of the big and more of the beautiful. i have lost 80lbs so far and plan on losing the rest. Having a Daddy that motivates me in that direction is....well.....priceless.

Ultimately i seek my one true Mate that will crossover from the BDSM to the Vanilla world. I understand this is not something that comes quickly nor easily. Since I have only been seeking for a short time, am new to it all.....my goal is to find out more about me and others through experimentation and exploration.

1/29/2017 6:27:15 AM

I am using this as a way to save my old profile.....

~New to the lifestyle baby girl looking for Daddy/Sensual Dom~

**TRUST is sometimes elusive for me, so it is important for me to find someone who is willing to invest the time and energy to build that foundation of trust and develop a bond with me. Once that bond is created....oh my! Anything is possible. i am a beautiful woman and deserve to be courted. This courtship would assist me in getting comfortable enough to let my guard down, ultimately--attaining the willingness to trustfully submit. For me, submission is not a personality type but rather a deep seated need......a gift that requires trust, vulnerability and work (from both parties). i respond well to encouragement, clear instruction and nurturing for my baby girl who so desperately wants out :-) i am a bbw working on being less of the big and more of the beautiful. i have lost 80lbs so far and plan on losing the rest. Having a Daddy that motivates me in that direction is....well.....priceless.

Abuse and Disrespect will not be given nor received.

Due to the nature of my work, my face pictures have been removed and will only be shared with someone who is investing the time to get to know me (and sharing their pictures)

What i seek:

I have been seeking to explore my submissive nature in this lifestyle since June 13th 2015. That being said, I am spending time learning about all of the different aspects of the life and all of the different ways to submit and/or serve. This is a time of exploring for me with EVERYTHING.

Ultimately i seek my one true Master/Mate in the vanilla world. I understand this is not something that comes quickly or easily. Since I have only been seeking for a short time, am just learning about play, and have little training...my goal is to find out more about me through gentle, thoughtful guidance. i love erotica, sensuality and mental stimulation and am inclined to a Gentleman that seduces my slave heart (which places me in a position to do anything for Him) rather than a man who demands and tries to take.

3/6/2016 7:22:43 PM

And broken promises fall to the floor to join all of the good intentions......

2/21/2016 4:33:33 PM

I haven't written a journal entry in awhile......my profile was hidden for several months. A month or two exploring with a Wonderful Daddy Dom and a month or two healing from the end of that relationship. It ended because He would not let me into ALL of His life. He had to have major surgery and excluded me from all of it.....someone texted me to let me know that He was out of surgery. Writing that made me cry. Anyway, you get the jist of it. compartmentalizing. UGH! so many of us do that. i don't know how, i am not wired that way. You have all of me or NOTHING and boy do i give it all away. i would not change a thing......

Next time, i will write about the things i learned during this wonderful experience that broke my heart :-)

8/23/2015 7:21:05 PM

I haven't written a journal entry in awhile. Exploring the lifestyle has been moving in a positive direction. I am learning much about myself.....who I am.....who i want to be.......what i want.
I have the honor and privileged of being readily accepted into the community at APEX and am starting to get to know people. One of the things i am struck with the and the most attracted to is couples who are D/s in the BDSM world and Mated in the vanilla world. The scope of these relationships and the amount of trust and openness that the require is incredible.
I WANT THAT.
I am sure I will be required to change much before this is possible for me......
BRING IT! lol

8/2/2015 5:17:02 PM

This past week has been a little frustrating in seeking a Dom. It seems most would have me enter into a commitment and be "owned" before moving forward. I still have a "head full of vanilla thoughts" and not only does that make ALL of my guard go up, it does not make sense to me. I have always taken making a commitment very seriously--HOW CAN I MAKE A COMMITMENT TO SOMEONE I DO NOT KNOW???? So many have asked to meet me this last week and then made some unreasonable demand--like not using condoms--making a commitment first--agreeing to chastity--and the list goes on-this is before EVER MEETING-UGH!

This makes me even more committed to meeting only at APEX and APEX events where i feel safe.

Just a note, thanks so much to the friends i have that encourage me to be me and to explore that--no matter what it looks like. luv ya~

7/27/2015 10:54:39 AM

This past weekend was so much fun! Christmas in July is a wonderful thing. A wonderful Gent used rope to tie my pussy lips open and expose my clit.....blindfolded......stimulation play........taking me up and letting me down.......teasing....... and of course i was also bound by my wrists and a leg spreader to better facilitate some forced orgasms with my Hitachi......for the great finish of being fingered until I squirt myself into a puddle:-) i LOVE stimulation play......no control......exposed......vulnerable....... Taken!

7/13/2015 6:22:38 AM

Oh.....my......goodness.....i had a wonderful time at the APEX Dungeon Party this last weekend. Thanks to a wonderful couple that helped me to learn and experience electric play (WOW--hypersensitive) and fire play (mmmmmm--wet noodle).

I have been having amazing experiences while exploring all the different ways to play.

7/7/2015 8:14:11 AM

What a weekend! AMAZING~ i attended Dungeon 101 class and learned the etiquette of playing with others in a space. Also learned about a play bag and aftercare bag. i spent Saturday preparing my bags and negotiating impact play with penetration to alternate pleasure with pain. It was a great learning experience. i am not a huge fan of impact play. i earned the bruises on my back and ass......not looking to that again too soon. i think for me it is more about bondage and sex.....time will definitely tell ;-) Next weekend a kind couple is going to teach me more about fire play/electric play. Oh......my........

6/29/2015 1:42:50 PM

What a weekend! I attended a social event on Friday night and everyone was so warm and welcoming. Then I attending my first live party Saturday night. It was awesome....really intense feelings and maybe even a little emotional let down afterward.

6/27/2015 9:10:44 AM

6-27-15
Wow, it has only been 3 weeks. It feels like i have been waiting for this ALL of my life.
i really enjoyed an APEX social last night....it is so much better looking someone in the eye. Being on the computer all of the time trying to connect is a real drag....the more live stuff i can do the better. Trying to get out of the house not another reason to stay home....lol
i have been amazed at the support and lack of judgement i have received from my friends and am looking forward to the journey of cautious discovery ahead.

6/27/2015 8:55:31 AM

Update 6-19-15

After one whole week.....;-) and lots of exploration, i would like to update and say that ultimately i would like to find a Dom that will be my Master and my Mate(in the vanilla world). i would like to add that i am very much into having my mind stimulated--articulation could be Your greatest gift :-). i never realized it is the biggest sexual organ :-) i like erotica, sensuality and clear cut direction/guidance. (this girl loves a task....lol) i am very devoted and loyal but it has been suggested that i take my time and choose my Dom carefully. i am inclined to a gentleman who taps into my desire to serve rather than a man who tries to take and demand.

6-13-15

i have just newly awakened to the idea that submissive is the role i was born to fill.

VERY new and looking for gentle, thoughtful, guidance/Domination.

i have not tried most things that the lifestyle offers or that is common in sex play.

In order for me to move forward, trust would be established first. i am skittish.