1/10/2018 2:48:39 AM: Anékdotos -- Lorraine's Ghost by Louis Carlet 2015 Intro This story is fiction. It is neither real nor realistic. I am not trying to justify the protagonist's behavior. In this story, I explore our society's common ethics, testing the boundaries by imagining an extreme and implausible what-if case. I'm not saying anything, just asking questions. Chapter 1 Rick and Frellin sat on the sofa watching a Hollywood romance on Netflix. Frellin cuddled close to her father as she drifted asleep. Rick looked down at her face with satisfaction. She was growing to look more like her mother each day. The same eyes, the same lush hair. As he followed the story to its satisfying but predictable end, he felt that ache again. Lorraine had left for the 7-Eleven that evening four years prior. How fast can you drive between here and the 7-Eleven? he had asked himself, asked God, many times. He had knelt before her grave and sworn he would be both mother and father to their daughter. He would live only for their creation, the evidence left behind of the love between Rick and Lorraine. Frellin was ten then, fourteen now. Her body looked like that of a woman not a girl. It saddened Rick both because it reminded him that some day soon he would have to let go of her as she went out into the world and because she looked very much like the lost love of his life. Her voice was exactly the same -- pitch, tone, that odd excess of smoothness that made it sound artificial. Her face was porcelain and proportional, again a twin of Lorraine. The luxurious but messy black hair splashed down her back and brought him back to Lorraine for a second here and there. The sense always evaporated into nothing. He had not dated since his wife's death. Rick was happy to devote everything to his daughter. He adjusted his posture and his grey sweatpants, trying not to disturb Frellin who was now sound asleep. Thinking about Lorraine reminded him of their rough animalistic and erotic lovemaking. They had both been young and in love. His cock stiffened a bit inside his sweatpants as he remembered Lorraine's amazing ass. He had to 'rearrange the furniture,' so to speak, and he did it carefully so as not to disturb his slumbering daughter. He pulled a cushion over to cover the hardon, at least partially. It now pointed upward and although safely hidden underneath the grey material, an outline could be made out by a careful or not so careful observer. To take his mind off sex, he turned to gaze at Frellin. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her a bit. She would often fall asleep during movies only to wake up near the end and say, 'What happened?' This time some slightly louder movie music woke her. She stared at the TV for a moment then grabbed his erection. Rick jumped to a sitting position then stood up. His daughter looked up, with an innocent and surprised look, as if she hadn't the slightest idea why he would stand suddenly. They said nothing. Although it had been through his sweatpants, the intent was clear. Rick's heart pounded as he searched for a response. He walked out and into the carport. There he tried to figure out what was wrong with the clutch on his Yamaha XT250. It had been slipping. Headlights beamed into the garage. Rick looked up expectantly then realized it was just a car passing the house. He squatted by the bike, removed the cover of the clutch then began one by one sliding out and examining each friction plate and metal plate, then each ring and facing. They seemed worn beyond repair. He could try to use emery board on them but it would be easier just to put up the few hundred dollars to replace them. He returned them for now, figuring he would make do until he could buy the part. Chapter 2 The next day he rode her to a nearby woody park. Her arms wrapped around his belly from behind, letting the wind make the hair below her helmet flutter roughly. The road wound softly back and forth and at times sharply, when Rick would slow to almost a standstill. He ignored her pleading to speed up. It was too dangerous as the clutch still did not engage properly. They stopped and dismounted. Frellin removed her helmet and swished her long hair about like a Charlie's Angel. As they hiked through the woods, Frellin asked, 'What was Mom like?' 'What was Mom like?' He walked on, stepping over a downed tree as he searched for an answer. 'She was like you only older.' Frellin smiled triumphantly. 'Don't you remember her?' 'Yeah, but I want to know what she was like, you know as an adult.' Rick noted that Lorraine would never know Frellin when she grew up someday, a someday that was coming all too soon. 'She loved herself.' Once the words emerged from his mouth Rick noticed how odd they sounded. He had two choices - backpedal or keep going and confide his true feelings. A slight breeze rustled the summer trees. 'That's what I loved about her,' Rick said, nodding at the end. 'She adored herself and she adored life.' 'Did Mom like the bike?' 'You know, it's funny. It scared her. She not only didn't like it. She didn't want me riding it. Thought it was too dangerous.' 'That's ironic, right, Dad?' 'I don't know.' Frellin slipped on a protruding stone towards her father who caught her before she hit the ground then set her upright. Chapter 3 Every Friday night they watched a film in the living room. The ritual included popcorn and Coke in old-fashioned bottles. For a month after the grabbing incident nothing happened. They watched, side by side, without further fuss. One Friday, as summer began to wane, as the chirp of crickets could be heard during the quieter scenes of the evening's movie fare, Frellin cuddled into him, then turned to push her breasts against his chest. He was unsure at first but then understood that she was doing it intentionally. She looked up to him sadly, her hair falling over his leg as she pushed herself into him. Her eyes pleaded from a place of terrible loneliness. He jumped up, 'Frellin! What are you doing?' Frellin: Sorry. Nothing. 'Are you having any ... issues? Do you want to talk about something?' Frellin pouted and walked to her bedroom. Rick looked down at the carpet. The following night he came home and looked for Frellin. He opened her door and saw her lying naked on the bed, on her stomache, staring back at him. He shut the door and apologized. Frellin called from inside, 'It's ok, Rick.' ''Rick?'' 'It's ok.' 'Are you dressed?' he called through the door. A pause. 'No.' 'Frellin, put your clothes on. Now! ... I'm your father, not Rick. ... Did you hear me?' 'Yes.' 'Are your clothes on?' 'No.' 'Frellin, put your clothes on now!' 'Or what?!' 'Frellin, what is wrong with you?' 'Nothing, it's no big deal. I know you miss mom. You have no one you can do it with.' Rick pushed through the door, walked over to her while shielding his eye, allowing just enough light to see, then snatched away her smartphone. 'Frellin, you're not going out this weekend, do you understand? You are never ever to talk to me like that.' 'I want to stay in with you, Daddy.' She looked at him with wide open eyes. 'I'm nearly 15.' 'I am your father! You are a 14-year-old child. You will never talk to me or anyone like that again!' He was yelling at this point. 'Frellin! Do you understand?' Frellin sobbed into her pillow. Rick took the blanket and placed it over her body and held her shoulders, carefully keeping his arms extended. Her scent reminded him in a disturbing way of Lorraine -- fresh, apparently full of pheromones because it filled his own brain with some sort of happy chemicals. 'Frellin. I know it's been hard without your mother. But I'm here for you. I'm your father. You don't understand what you're doing. ... You better not know what you're doing.' He inhaled and exhaled. 'That's not a healthy or happy thing. You're misunderstanding something.' She stopped crying. 'It's you who don't understand. It wouldn't be you abusing me. I want it. It's me doing it. I will never tell a single soul. I swear. It will be our secret.' 'That's not the issue. It's wrong. Unhealthy. I don't want to be talking to you about this! This is insane.' 'You said I can talk about anything with you.' 'Ok so this is one exception. Frellin, I'm your Dad. When you get older you can have boyfriends and fall in love. If you have questions about sex I'll try to answer them or find someone who can but you are my beautiful daughter.' 'So I'm not sexy enough for you?' 'Jesus Christ, Frellin, that's not the issue. I don't look at my daughter in that way.' Rick swallowed hard as he realized that he could indeed see her that way if he chose. He banished the thought from his brain, ashamed that such a notion existed for even one instant. 'Well, who do you look at that way?' 'It's none of your damn business.' 'Ok. I have a question.' ' ... Ok.' 'How do I seduce a man?' 'Frellin. Just stop it. It's not funny.' 'I'm serious. I love you, Daddy.' 'I love you too, my daughter Frellin.' Rick left the room and closed the door. That night the image of Frellin's naked body floated in his mind before sleep -- her full breasts, round hips and skinny tummy, the soft, smooth skin and long, billowy black hair. So much like her mother. If only her mother were still alive, Frellin would be ok, Rick thought as he lay half awake in bed. He worried that something was happening to Frellin. Should he take her to a therapist? Was she suffering from Electra complex? Did that exist anymore? Chapter 4 Several days later in the garage, he crouched by his Yamaha, fitting on a brand new clutch. He was using a ratchet to put the bolts back in to secure the new clutch plates. Frellin walked into the garage wearing white cotton panties and a white cotton bra. Nothing else. Rick caught her out of the corner of his eye as she walked toward the bicycle air pump. He jumped up, hitting his head on the right handle bar. He smacked his foot down to regain balance, unfortunately right into the pan into which he had drained the oil before replacing the clutch. His foot slid back with the pan making a scraping sound as his body vaulted forward onto the saddle. The jolts ceased as Rick felt his chest -- propped on the saddle -- sink diagonally to the other side. There was nothing he could do to brace himself. His forearms were locked in place and his legs were on this, the wrong, side of the toppling bike. The whole assemblage, including Rick, slammed into shelves of paint and tools, creating a cacophony of crashing sounds. As Rick tried to pick himself up, more things fell off shelves and the bike sank further to the ground. Frellin looked on, smiling, near the door whence she had entered. Rick righted the bike, brushed himself off, looked down and took a breath. 'Frellin. �c Please do not walk around the house like that.' 'Why? I live here.' She attached the air pump to the valve. 'Is it too tempting for you?' Rick ignored the quip. She began pumping air into her bike, her body bobbing up and down. She got good grades. She wasn't experimenting with drugs as far as he knew. She spent only moderate time on her smart phone. She was a good girl in most respects. She had few friends, though, and rarely met them except on Facebook. Where had he gone wrong? How would Lorraine have handled it? From the garage he watched through the window on the door as she rode away on her bicycle, her full, round behind propped atop the saddle. Rick realized in the depths of his heart, in a place he would never reveal to a living soul, that Frellin's ass was just like Lorraine's. It had that extra curve at the top on both sides, a curve that somehow rose higher than her waist. It had been that extra curve that had driven him to marathon bouts of exertion with Lorraine. During the evening, she continued to walk around the house in her undergarments. Rick decided not to yell or scold until he had a serious talk with her after dinner. He entered her bedroom at 10pm. She was stark naked on the bed, again on her stomach, studying and preparing school work on her laptop. Rick casually covered her with her blanket and said he wanted to talk to her. Frellin sat up and nodded. 'Frellin. Some day, when you're older - hopefully a lot older - you will meet someone who loves you and who you love. Then you can consider having that kind of relationship ... if you're careful.' 'But you love me, Daddy, and I love you. Why is it wrong for us to have that kind of relationship? We're not hurting anyone.' 'We would be hurting you. A lot. More than you can understand.' 'But I want it. It would be my choice. Why would my choice hurt me?' 'First of all, because you're too young to understand all the implications of such a relationship.' 'So you understand my feelings more than I do?' 'Maybe I do. I am your father. Let's respect our relationship as father and daughter. That's a great thing.' 'I know. But I want both. I've decided.' Rick paused. He felt wrong even discussing this in the hypothetical. Lorraine had the same determination to move heaven, hell and earth to achieve what she had set out to do. He despised himself for not being able to fix this. He looked at Frellin sadly. 'Well, I don't.' Frellin looked at him and a tear welled in her eye. Rick wasn't sure if it was sadness or anger. Perhaps both. Frellin began shaking, sobbing. She collapsed on the bed. Rick felt that he had no choice but to walk out of the room coldly, cruelly. No longer could he entertain or discuss this scenario with her. It was not an issue for discussion or debate. Boundaries needed drawing and he was the draw-er of such boundaries. He walked toward the door, filled with self-loathing and a stubborn longing for his late wife. As he reached the door, Frellin stopped crying, jumped up and said, 'You always say I look like Mom!' Rick turned meekly, 'And you do.' 'So why don't you want to?' Rick turned back toward the door, almost unable to breathe. What did Frellin know about how Rick felt about Lorraine? She was Frellin's mother, but to Rick, Lorraine was ... Frellin collapsed back on the bed and quietly added, 'You always used to fuck her.' Rick turned, his eyes glued to Frellin. 'What ... did you ... say?' Frellin felt afraid but couldn�ft back down. She turned away from Rick as she added, 'I could hear you two going at it practically every night. Not very subtle.' This went beyond the boundary. Before Rick stormed across the room it registered to him that Frellin must indeed have heard them since they had done it pretty much every night. Is that what this was all about? But Rick was in no mood to reason through what was happening. He walked swiftly to the bed, repeating, 'What did you say? What did you say?' As he climbed onto the bed, Frellin screamed and tried to flee. He grabbed her roughly and forced her face toward him. She scrunched up her face and tried to protect it with her hands as he slapped her. The awkwardness of their positions and her resistance meant the slap found little purchase and made more of a dull thwat rather than a clear sharp sound. Rick threw a pink stuffed bunny across the room toward the window and walked out. Chapter 5 Rick entered the therapist's office. Dr. Michelle Poisson was about 50 with glasses attached by a chain. She had a yellow legal pad on her desk behind which she sat. She took notes as Rick explained the story, looking up from her pad to stare at him at key points. Poisson asked him a series of questions. �gAnd you and your daughter live alone.�h �gYes.�h 'When did you first start feeling attracted to children?' 'What? Never! Why would you ask that?' 'Were you ever abused as a child?' 'No, look, maybe you're misunderstanding.' 'Mr. McNeill, it is you who are misunderstanding. The events you describe are impossible. Children simply do not act that way. You are deluding yourself. It is actually you who are attracted to children. I only hope you haven't acted upon these feelings. You must never act on them. Do you understand me?' 'Dr. Poisson, I don't have those feelings you describe. I haven't made anything up.' 'I'm sure you believe the events occurred exactly as you relate them. I'm telling you, though, that from a psychological point of view, they are impossible. Unless you've already severely abused your daughter.' 'No, absolutely not. What?' 'I need you to promise you will never act on your feelings. If you do this I will try to help you. Or introduce you to a specialist in ... such issues. Otherwise I will be required by law to contact Child Protective Services as you are a danger to your child's welfare. Can you promise me?' Rick realized it was a mistake to see a therapist. 'Yes, I promise.' He scheduled a follow-up appointment but never returned. Chapter 6 That night he dreamed of Lorraine. She exhorts him: 'You should do it. It's ok. She wants it.' Rick pleads with Lorraine: 'No, that is insane. She is a child.' Lorraine responds, 'Is she? Look at her.' Lorraine indicates with a slight hand gesture in the direction of Frellin lying in bed, nude, her body long past puberty, with the curves of a young woman. Rick awoke sweating and cold at the same time. He walked down the hall, past Frellin's bedroom. There was no sound within. He continued down the stairs and opened the refrigerator. He gulped down orange juice still in the carton. He heard a single instant of scratching somewhere outside the house. His first impulse as always was to imagine she had come home. The noise was gone. He returned to bed. Chapter 7 Frellin finished her dinner and announced. 'I understand what you say, Daddy, but at least I want to talk about it so I understand why it's wrong. That's ok, right?' Rick stated at Frellin and took a swig of his Corona. 'Throughout history men have married girls younger than I am now.' Rick looked away. 'We're not living throughout history. We're living here and now in today's society. You don�ft want to understand why it�fs wrong; you want to convince me it�fs right.' 'My point is why is it immoral? Was it moral then but immoral now?' 'Men didn't marry their daughters.' 'Lot's daughters had sex with their father. They roofied him. Then they raped him.' 'What? What are you talking about?' 'They got him drunk then had sex with him. Lot is considered a good man in the Bible.' 'So what, Frellin. Are you a Christian?' 'No, I'm just saying, putting aside what society thinks, what's wrong with it if nobody gets hurt and I want it?' 'Because you don't know what you want.' 'See, you disrespect me when you say that. I'm telling you I really want it. Not forever maybe. But now. I want my first experiences to be with you.' Frellin pulled out a piece of paper she had apparently copied after downloading. �gDaddy, a Harvard study found that childhood sexual abuse �edoes not produce severe long-term effects on psychopathology.'�h �gFrellin, do you want to have a debate about this?�h �gNo, I want to know what would be wrong with it.�h 'Frellin, it is wrong because ...' Rick took another swig and suddenly looked at the ceiling as if he heard a noise. Still staring at the ceiling, he said, ' ... because I am your father and it would change our relationship. I love you as my beautiful, wonderful daughter. Isn't that enough?' 'I want what Mom had with you.' 'But you're not your mother.' 'But I look like her. Genetically I'm half like her, more than half.' 'Why do you say more than half?' 'I have her mitochondrial DNA not yours.' 'Oh, yeah? Well, you have my DNA in there too. Since you're so smart about DNA you know that children of incest can be deformed.' 'I'm not asking to have your child, Daddy.' 'Frellin. This conversation makes me very uncomfortable.' 'Because you imagine it, don't you? In that secret place in your heart. You think about it.' 'No!' 'Then why would you be uncomfortable? Can I ask you, if I were not your daughter and I was 30 years old, would you then?' 'Would I what?' 'Sleep with me.' 'What are you talking about? No!' 'Really? I'm not your type? What is your type, Daddy?' 'Again, it is none of your business. I don't discuss my type with my daughter.' 'Mom is your type and I am genetically like her so I must be your type a little. Everyone says I look so much like her that I'm her ghost.' Frellin grabbed the beer out of Rick's hand and took a swig, pushing away his arms. 'Oh, come on. Give it back. You can't have my beer.' Frellin returned the bottle to his hands then added, 'What if we were stuck on a deserted island and knew we could never get off? We knew we would never have to interact with society again? And I begged you. Would you then?' 'Of course not.' Frellin sat in silence. Then an idea hit her. 'What if we were abducted by a gang of gunmen, and they said that if you don't do it they'll torture and kill me?' 'That's not gonna happen so we don't need to worry about it.' 'But what if? You don't want me to die, do you? What if they said that if you didn't do it to me they would all rape me? Would you do it?' 'For the last time, no! It's not an issue. It's not as if I don't because of this or that obstacle. It's not even a question in my mind. Under no circumstances would I ever even consider doing that to my daughter. End of story!' Frellin became quiet. Again a tear formed in her left eye. �gYou�fd rather a gang of villains rape, torture and kill me than do it with me.�h 'Frellin. You can't always get what you want.' 'But I know that deep in your heart ... that if you were totally selfish and cared nothing for my welfare, then you too want it.' 'No I don't want it.' Rick was careful to push the affirmation out clean so as not to leave any question about its veracity. He could never admit something so heinous, not even to himself. She got up and left the kitchen. Rick cleared the table and washed the dishes. It was Friday evening but they didn't watch a movie. They retired to their respective bedrooms in silence. Chapter 8 One night the following week Rick dreamt of his daughter. She looks at him with those eyes. She pleads and stretches toward him, pressing her nude body against his suit. As the image flits in, out, he wonders perhaps they could wait a few years until she turns 18 and if she still wants, and if somehow he discovers that Lorraine had cheated on him, and Frellin is not in fact ... his head throbs; the throbbing slowly subsides as a warm wave of euphoria splashes over his head and body. Then he slips over some sort of precipice, jolting him awake. He sat up in bed to find his groin sticky with the dream. He kneaded his perineum with his middle finger then squeezed his urethra between his thumb and first two fingers to release the last few drops. He felt a pang of missing Lorraine. He had been careful that first year to feel nothing about her death because he had a 10-year-old to take through it all, to be mother and father to. Then he let himself feel the emptiness a tiny bit at a time, savoring the agony bite by bite. Sitting upright on the bed, reaching for some tissues, tears streamed down his face. He went about the business of cleaning up, without stopping to sob it all out. For the umpteenth time he told himself, well, she's gone and that's that. But she wasn't gone. She lived in Frellin's face every day, in her stubborn unrelenting character, in the erotic expressions in her face. A loud thump reverberated from the first floor. Rick went down to investigate. From the window of his study he could see that a thick tree branch had broken off and crashed in to the side of the house, narrowly missing the window. Chapter 8 1/2 Frellin was at school and Rick had off. He rolled a joint then went out back to smoke it. He sat on the swing that had hung unused for many years. As he got high, the stress melted away. He strung his arms around the chains of the swing. They were a bit wet but it didn't bother him. The trees swayed in a fairly strong breeze. The first leaves had begun to fall. He began to talk to God, pleading for an answer. No one answered as I didn�ft know how to create a God character. So I spoke to him. 'Hello.' Rick looked up and around, unable to locate the booming baritone. 'It's me the author. Your author.' Imagining he was hallucinating and the weed must have been laced, Rick said, 'My author?' 'Yes,' I said. 'Like of a book?' 'Yes, the story about you.' Rick had no inkling what I was on about. 'Ok. Can you help me out here? I want to protect my daughter ...' 'But you have feelings for her.' 'Of course I love her.' 'And ...' 'And nothing. I love her. Period.' 'I'm the author. I created you. I know you. She has the ass, the hair, the skin, the eyes - everything that made you lust after Lorraine. She looks exactly alike. I made her that way.' Rick looked at the puddle below the swing, ashamed to look up. 'You're afraid you'll lose control,' I noted. 'What do I do? How do I stop her?' 'I don't know. That's why I wrote this story. I wanted an extreme moral dilemma, that I don't understand myself. I want to see what happens and what you will do.' The joint had burned down to a roach. Rick took a final puff then stamped it out on the ground. He picked up the butt and threw it in the trash can. Chapter 9 Rick had brought home a cake and was setting up 15 candles when Frellin walked in. �gThanks, Dad, but I�fm not a kid anymore�h �gWhat do you mean? Lorraine and I bought birthday cakes for each other.�h Frellin smiled, a bit too much. After blowing out the candles and trying the cake, the two moved to the couch for their weekly movie. As always, about half way through, Frellin fell asleep against Rick�fs arm. Rick lifted her up and carried her up the stairs. On the stairs she woke and looked at him with big, glassy eyes -- a sort of desperation and longing that made her appear like a real woman more than the child that she was. Rick could no longer deny even to himself that his daughter desired him as a man. Her eyes seemed to convey the end of the world if she could not attain the object of her desire. Was he deluding himself like Dr. Poisson had said? Perhaps he was a danger to Frellin. He deposited her on the bed, left and rode his newly clutched Yamaha to the nearby One for the Road. The clutch grabbed with precision. It pleased Rich that his work had paid off. At the bar, he spoke with strangers and drank nine beers. He danced and his surroundings came to seem like a stage of unreality, as if he were looking out the eyes and hearing out the ears of someone else, and as if the whole bar were a phase detached from his reality. Too drunk to drive, he left the motorcycle on the grass behind the bar and walked home. It took him about an hour but he remained drunk in a pleasant way. He removed his outer garments and collapsed on the bed. Just as he did so a hard rain fell. Other than the thunder that followed several lightning strikes, the heavy vertical rain was strangely quiet, smooth and windless. He vaguely felt himself lucky to have arrived home before the rain. It was a matter of a minute or two before he was soft in slumber. Lorraine comes to him, lies next to him to ease his suffering. He knows it�fs a dream but he appreciates it nonetheless. He kisses her deep, his whole body shrouded in pleasure and longing. He never dated because, compared to Lorraine, all women came up lacking. She touches him gently down there. He removes his undergarments as does she hers. Even in dream, Lorraine�fs scent burns familiar. He manhandles her breasts as she moans. He kisses her on the neck, grabs her long hair and pulls it until taut with her scalp. He flips her over. As he plunges himself into her from behind, he notices she is too tight, not ready. He pushes through anyway as she always preferred, the rough rudeness arousing her more than any foreplay could. Lorraine loved the violation, the feeling of force, violence wrapped in a blanket of love. He becomes aware of the room, the night. He is confused because he is now awake and yet he is with Lorraine. He must be asleep or it cannot be Lorraine. Then, his mind clears. It dawns on him what is happening. This is the moment he must pull out without the slightest hesitation, crawl back from the depths of depravity, and somehow save both their souls. Instead he paused. Lightning struck, followed by a peal of thunder. Frellin panicked that the spell had broken and shook her behind. The move had its intended effect. Rick let it all go. He pushed and pounded, in and out. It was too late, far too late. Frelling was in pain but determined to hide it. After a few moments of struggle, the pain subsided and she was aloft in heaven, getting exactly what she had dreamed of so many times. Her body trembled. The rain maintained a steady torrent of gentle sound. She was one with her father. They were everything to each other. Her existence had melted away into her mother's. She used her own body to bring Lorraine back from the dead to him. She would replace her mother, even be better. Rick felt as if he had fallen off a cliff. As if she had hijacked his body. Is that how he would justify this horrendous crime? Blame the victim? It was all over. He thought: My life is over. I'm going to hell on earth and hell in the hereafter. I deserve it all. I have ruined my daughter�fs life. But right now, this precious moment in time, I'm gonna fuck the living fuck out of my fucking daughter fuck! He felt his stomach slam into the soft, smooth buttocks she held firmly in place to absorb him, to receive each thrust. He reached around to hold her breasts from behind. All the frustration that had pent up over the past four years exploded into a rage of piston-like action. How she was like her mother indeed. He drove her home. Tears trickled down his face as he noted how similar the experience was to fucking Lorraine. If Lorraine had been alive, this would have never happened. Rather it would have happened but with her, his wife. He exploded in pleasure and remorse. Afterwards he lay cuddling his daughter. Despite everything he loved her more than ever, meaning he loathed himself as a monster. He had destroyed the only thing left to him in the world. But he would save that hell for later. Now he would savor his crime and luxuriate in the pleasure and love for both Lorraine and Frellin. The sheets of rain crescendoed ever so much then returned to the baseline. Frellin lay still, content. She did not imagine that her father suffered torment. She felt satisfied to have pleased him sexually, to have replaced even temporarily her mother for him whom she loved both like a father and like ... �gLike what?�h she wondered. Chapter 10 His eyes opened as the sun silently yawned across the room. He heard Frellin's voice at the door to the bedroom. She opened it. 'Daddy, there are people at the door.' Rick was unsure if the previous night could possibly have been as he now recalled. His stomach felt empty. 'Tell them to wait a second.' He relieved his bladder, which took over a minute. Walking down the stairs, he heard voices on the porch. He opened the door to see Poisson's face. 'Mr. McNeill, this is Deirdre Watermen and Janine Rothman from Child Protection Services. Can we come in?' Rick moved out of the way so they could enter. Two police officers followed. 'You failed to show up to our next appointment. I had to take matters into my own hands to protect your child.' 'So much for doctor-patient confidentiality,' is what Rick wanted to but didn't say. 'Can we ask you some questions?' Poisson continued. 'Yes.' After a few introductory questions, Poisson came to the point. 'Have you ever had any sexual contact with your daughter?' Frellin walked into the room and said, 'No, of course not. I'm his daughter. That's sick. Why would you even ask that?' Poisson pointed to her partner and the police, indicating they should remove the girl. They did so but she resisted. 'He didn't do anything. My father is innocent. Leave him alone.' She screamed as they pulled her into the dining room and then outside. Poisson looked at Rick who looked back. Poisson said, 'What is she talking about?' leaning on the 'is' as if the word were filled with meaning. The others returned to the living room. Rick looked around the room at each of the five adults looking back at him, judging him. He could sense it. They were right to judge. They were there to protect his daughter from a predator. Rick gazed at the floor. �gMr. McNeill, if you refuse to answer our questions, I will be forced to conclude that your daughter is in danger.�h Rick said, �gI have nothing to say to you. I told you the truth and I trusted you.�h Frellin yelled from the outside. �gI tried to but he refused. He�fs a good father. He refused. It was me causing trouble not him.�h Later Dr. Poisson took her aids from CPS and brought Frellin to the living room. Dr. Poisson: Frellin, we want to do an examination on you. Is that ok? It won�ft take but a minute. �gNo, it is not ok. I told you everything. He is innocent.�h �gSo let us examine you.�h Poisson nodded to her two comrades. Janine held Frellin down with the help of one of the cops, while Deirdre took a swab and inserted it into Frellin, who screamed. 'You're the ones abusing me. Let me go. Don't touch me!' The following week, CPS took custody of Frellin. Rick was arrested on suspicion of child molestation, child abuse, statutory rape, parental neglect, endangering the welfare of a child, and two minor infractions. In court, Dr. Poisson testified that Rick had brainwashed the child into believing that it had been she who had been the aggressor. Rick gazed at the ceiling of the cell, replaying in his mind the fuck that was so glorious, yet cruel in that it had destroyed his one true love. End