Collarspace

Preamble

Ive come to the conclusion that I definitely need much more controlplay in my life but am not sure how to make that happen. Theres so much I want to try, to do, and to re-do...and the depths of my desire for submission go a lot deeper than I often have the opportunity to explore. As someone who probably could describe herself as leaning towards demisexual, and also not that into impact play (unless there is already an established Ds connection) this makes it quite difficult to satisfy my kink easily, and in the same breath I would say there are limits to the time and energy I have to invest in a relationship.

So what am I looking for? Im not entirely sure yet, but hopefully Ill recognise it when I find it.

Ive spent a long time thinking about this and my motivation my submissive needs are not completely satisfied, and that creates a longing in me which I very much need to resolve. As a point of extremely important clarity, I am not looking for a surreptitious affair.

In general...

Im usually happy to chat to nice folks who seem slightly quirky, enlightened, offbeat or eccentric. Intelligence is a must. I enjoy meaningful chat with males and females, but please, if you are man pretending to be a woman, I will rat you out eventually and definitely when we start to Skype or meet - so just dont bother.

A would be motto

You never know what is going to happen next in life - the possibilities are endless.

In summary...

*submissive
*sapiosexual
*witty
*loyal
*sensitive
*modestly attractive

Ive been actively sub and developing in this respect for many years and its always been a part of my sexual identity, sometimes overtly, and sometimes less so.

As a part of my reflection I came to realise Im a lot more serious about a Ds relationship than most of the people I have actually met, or considered meeting. I am generally a confident and independent woman and yearn deeply for the satisfaction of control.

In terms of a Ds dynamic...

I would of course like to develop a worthwhile and lasting Ds dynamic, but I am overwhelmingly more interested in my D being able to fuck my mind than my body. Sex without control is bland. Control without a mind fuck is superficial. Mind fucks without trust are abusive. I have few hard fantasies and remain much more committed to exploring the actuality of submission and control. I have learnt that limits are not so hard as one sometimes believes, that every dynamic is unique and that zealous observances to fetishes obscure the possibility of growth and intimacy.

Every dynamic is idiosyncratic an individualised blend of two parts and therefore I am not rigid in what I seek, other than the above. I have list of likes which should not be read in isolation to the above paragraph...as I have found that my Ds interest have changed over the years and may change in accordance with whomever I am playing.

In terms of my personality...

Im also an introverted cyber geek (INTP) who enjoys instant messaging as a means to making friends and finds the lure of BDSM chat rooms difficult to resist at times...Ive met many friends this way. For the avoidance of doubt, this often means I prefer to message for a while before I actually want to talk to someone on voice, but if our rapport evolves, I may want to talk to you and even meet with you...this may be for platonic or non-platonic reasons. Just because we are talking, this does not mean that I am your submissive any more than you are my Dominant...a power exchange takes time, commitment and compatibility. You will find that whilst I am yearning for control, I am not desperate for anything.

I find describing my personality difficult, which might be part of INTP traits. Suffice it to say, some adjectives I have heard used in reference to me include hippy (okay, I know thats also a noun), arsey, principled, organised (though youd not think it looking at my house), and passionate (though not meant in the roses and chocolates sense I feel). These are the adjectives that I would feel more positive about - I could of course be called a lot worse...and indeed have.

Politics? More with the small p and definitely left of centre.
Religion? All are fascinating but my heart is with a spiritual and mystical approach.
Sex? Yes please.
Ethics? Definitely fair trade and cruelty free minded, where real life allows.
Food? 100 vegetarian, except when it comes to sex (bonus points for spotting the song line there).
Red or white? A minimal drinker, but red, a good bitter or quality vodka (neat) please.
Cats or dogs? Meow.