12/14/2017 12:45:56 PM: one day I am going to find someone who doesn’t play games, who gives me the love and attention I need and deserve. One day I will have someone that will put me first and not take me for granted. I deserve Better than what I have been given and I will find that special someone. 

11/15/2017 1:16:27 PM: So I finally talk to a woman who I think would be my perfect match. She seemed to have every interest that I did. Who knows, my love life will come together and she can fill my heart with happiness. Turns out, she has no time for me and I am left alone again. I’m pretty much checked out with both men and women right now. Why can’t I find anyone who shares the same thoughts and Feelings as me? 

1/28/2012 1:55:13 AM: And once again, I meet the guy that I fall head over heels for.  He talks to me, he emails me, calls me, and treats me just right.  Then just as he has my heart in his hands, he drops it.  Stupid man. All I want is attention.  I want back my emails, my phone calls, my sweet handsome loving guy.  In the end, I am left with another piece of my heart stolen and only tears to keep me company.

12/27/2011 2:04:08 AM:      I am one who lives through words.  Words are powerful.  Spoken, sang, thoughts.  They are all meaningful of something. I met a guy. A man. Someone with brains.  I met a man who not only had a love for fetish fun but had a real heart inside.  It has happened so fast. my dreams were coming true.  Then the past came up and bit me right where it matters most...  My heart.  One crappy relationship after another, vanilla, kinky, conventional, unconventional, long term, short term.  How can I tell when it is real?            How do I put my heart out there and possibly let myself be hurt again?  His likes and my likes are far from the same.  In my heart I just want to be his. To obey him, to love him, to care for him, to please him, to satisfy him, to trust him, to give him all he could ever dream of.  I want to be held accountable for his pleasure and know that I am his in good times and bad. In my heart, I want him to love me and cherish me just the same. I want to make his dreams and fantasies come true. It doesn't have to happen today, but one day. There is one thing I am never good with and that it uncertainty.  He makes me smile, he makes me think, I just don't ever want to cry again over someone who just plays the game.  I am real and I hope he is too. This is far from the 'daddy' that I advertised for to keep his little girl in line and this isn't the DD household I was going for, but he stole my attention and the person he is in his 'vanilla' world is the man I have always dreamt of being with.  The Master in him is just a perk... wish me luck folks, I may take a step into the next chapter of my life.