I Came across this persons writing a goodly while back and after having some conversations with a few people thought it might be time to put it up again for some to read. It has been of help to a few, it seems.
Is Submission A Gift?
by DreamwalkerDotCom
Submission is a gift but not in the way you may first think. It is a gift you give to yourself.
I often use the phrase “gift of submission” in poetry and lyrical prose because it is a well-received romantic cliché that evokes a sense of demure grace, innocent in its devotion. It conveys purity of heart in the submissive and honor in the one whom she has chosen to receive her gift.
In poetry, metaphors and similes are a saving grace when conveying visceral emotions and experiences. Still, I want to show that what goes on behind the scenes is even more beautiful than a simple romantic cliché. What goes on when a beautiful, vibrant, electric woman submits is so much more profound than the giving of a gift, no matter how precious.
Yes, a submissive may feel that submitting to her dominant is like giving him the precious gift of her will, of _her,_ to command and to use. Especially since she will not submit to just anybody, but to that one, special person that has proven to be worthy of that gift.
Expanding on that line of thought, it follows then that the dominant worthy if her submission is gifting _her_ with his dominance. Just like her attention and her submission is a gift, he is giving her _his_ attention and care. He is trading safety and his trustworthiness for her compliancy and loyalty. It becomes a transaction.
There is nothing wrong with treating the mutual gifting of submission and dominance as a transaction. The whole term _Power Exchange_ implies a transaction of personal power. It is given and taken and given back in a feedback loop of sorts. The submissive gives her power to her dominant who becomes a prism through which both hers and his power are focused back on her.
Viewing submission as a gift actually makes a lot of sense, considering that the submissive can at any time withdraw her consent, her gift if you will, and the cascade-effect will cease. And this mechanism is often used to prove that submissives have much more power in relationships than they may think. If the submissive does not want to play, there simply is no play.
Yes, I am focusing purely on the forces within a consensual dominant and submissive interaction. Co-dependency and domestic abuse can compel the stablest and strongest minds to stay in diseased relationships. An abusive relationship is to a D/s relationship like rape is to making love.
Having said that, it bothers me to think that a magnificent submissive woman is somehow giving me a gift when she is really being the most true to herself. She has been brought up in a society that says that women who are submissive are weak and are betraying the ideals that have gone far, albeit not yet far enough, to give women equal respect and opportunities to those that men enjoy.
She has had to struggle against the stream to take ownership of her own desires; she has endured self-doubt and pain and possibly shame to get to the point where she can admit that she is submissive. The journey of self-discovery has been hard on some and easier on others, but the large majority of submissives have had to travel that path. Her submission is hard-earned and she did not venture on that journey for anybody but herself. The fruits of her labor are hers to enjoy.
Some say that being submissive is a female survival strategy to ensure that her mate will stay with her by pleasing him and adding value to his everyday life. I do not have the requisite degrees to argue for or against that idea, but I cannot imagine that I am the only one who feels that when a woman submits to me, she is doing it for herself and not as a gift to me or as a bribe for my attention.
And that is exactly the way I want it. I cannot imagine it any other way.
It is so easy to get tangled up in defining submission in terms of acts that the submissive performs for her dominant, and acts that she submits to being performed on her by him. But that is only what is visible on the surface. The dynamic in the relationship between a dominant and a submissive is much more complex than the acts performed and so are the motivations that drive a woman to submission.
Submission is a strategy, a tool if you will, to disconnect the submissive from her critical mind for a while, to gain respite when the buzzing of ideas and thoughts and to-dos becomes deafening and the act of making a simple decision becomes overwhelming because she cannot stop thinking of different outcomes and consequences, and cannot choose between them.
It is about not having to make decisions, even if only for a while. It is like donning an intellectual blindfold where the submissive trusts her dominant to lead her to her inner core, where she can open up and be vulnerable without having to struggle with her own doubts and insecurities. Submitting is a way to not even be able to displease simply because she is not allowed to.
Submission is a tactic to quiet the submissive’s mind. It is a vehicle to quiet the buzzing of thoughts and ideas swarming within her awareness. That quieting is the moment of focus, the moment between heartbeats that the athlete waits for to make the jump, the moment of clarity that allows you to step on the bridge of suspended disbelief and to make it safely from _here_ to _there._
Through the intellectual blindfold of submission, her awareness descends into the darkness of her emotional womb and she find parts of herself that are warmer, more primal, more feminine, even. Submitting is not a feminine act in itself, but it is a path for a feminine being to connect with the elemental feminine deep inside, and _that_ is what the draw is for many women. I imagine the same is more or less true for male submissives, although I confess I have not thought much on that side of the coin; I am too captivated by the elemental feminine.
When a submissive’s dominant takes her wrist _just so,_ and whispers in her ear _just so,_ that is where it all becomes real. That is the key to surrender, to letting go, to release her critical mind like a balloon leaving a child’s hand, soaring up into the blue void. That is when she can melt and flow her emotions all over him, covering it all to perceive everything. And for a while not to think, to just be, to _feel,_ to be all of the primal female that she is.
As much as submission is conveyed through acts and demeanor, deep down it is about how profoundly affected she is by him. It is about how they connect and how easily and completely she lets go in his presence. It is about together creating an emotional context in which she feels safe enough and supported enough to retreat into her body and be unconcerned with the external world. To lose sight of everything else and focus all her attention inwards on how she is affected by him.
It is not some cockamamie dominant fantasy about the submissive focusing solely on his pleasure. No, she enjoys his use of her but her attention is on herself. Her view of him is through the effects he has on her. Just like you cannot see the wind but through the rustling of the leaves on the trees, she experiences his touch through ripples of the pond of her awareness and body.
That is what submission is about; it is about _experiencing_ and _feeling._ It is about the submissive diving deep into herself to connect with her inner radiant core. It is not about forget
