Although I have very limited experience in this Lifestyle and, for a long time, was intrigued at the thought of exploring my sub side, I have learned that I make for a very poor sub and that I should follow my natural Dom side.
Thus, I seek a submissive woman who can accept a man who is naturally dominant but who comes with a learning curve insofar as this Lifestyle is concerned. We (I really don't care for "traditional" BDSM writing style = W/we, O/our, U/us, Me, you, Dom, sub, etc.) will make our own way and follow our own rules, determining what works for us and not necessarily following others preconceived notions of what Dom/sub entails.
You will find me to be someone who is caring and loving and very concerned about your pleasure -- and orgasm(s). I was told a long time ago that the way to take control of a woman is to pleasure her often and bring her to orgasm(s). And I enjoy doing that! Of course, I also believe that in doing so, I get my fair share of pleasure and fun along the way! That said, I'm really not into giving pain. So if you're a pain slut, I'm likely not for you. Still, I do understand the need for discipline and also that at times punishment may be necessary. But please understand that there are various forms of punishment and not all punishment needs to involve pain.
Of course, this Lifestyle is about more than kinky sex and fun in the bedroom. But let's be honest, if that aspect is not present then what's the point? Yes, I seek a Lifestyle partner. And, yes, we must be a match more than just physically or sexually. But if we're not a match physically and sexually, then we're really not a match.
So, my ideal match will be someone whom I find very attractive physically. That said, I march to my own drummer in this regard. My friends may not find someone physically attractive yet that person may be wonderfully attractive to me. And someone whom they do find attractive may not do anything for me.
Once we are a good physical match, we must also be a good sexual match. While I would consider a monogamous relationship, it wouldn't bother me in the least if she were bi-sexual and she were accepting of the two of us engaging with other women. Ideally, she would recruit that woman or those women for us. That said, I've never experienced a threesome and sometimes fantasies are best left to be just that -- fantasies. My point is that including others is not the make it or break it for me. Instead, finding the right partner is paramount for me.
Now, for anything long-lasting to develop, we would have to be a match in other areas as well. I seek a real relationship, not just a play partner. Thus, we would have to match emotionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually, etc. I'm not eHarmony and don't know their 37 or so different key relationship aspects but I think you get the idea.
The right match for me will likely be sub and not slave. But I won't rule out a slave either. She lives to please me and enhance my life. And she loves giving me pleasure. She will be an adventurous and imaginative lover who cannot get enough of me. And she delights in that I love pleasuring her and getting her off -- or bringing her to the edge of orgasm and then denying her and keeping her on that edge interminably.
In the interests of full disclosure, I am a man who has been very successful in the past -- but who has struggled of late. Through a process of re-self discovery, I am back on a path to become my old self -- even better.
So, if you are looking for a manly man who is told (by more than just his mother) that he is good looking but who has more than his fair share of foibles yet who is willing to learn and grow, then we may be a great match.
In the vanilla world, I've been referred to as a surprising "bad boy" despite my "boy next door" appearance. I am a contradiction in terms = confident yet at times unsure, intelligent yet capable of making dumb moves, stoic yet emotional, etc.
Yes, I want to play. But I want to play for the rest of our lives! As such, again, we have to be a great match in many areas.
