Dashing, Dancing Dom Seeks Sparkly, Whip-Smart Sub.
 
I RARELY write to members here. To connect with me, favorite or write me. See also my blog, BDSM: Things You Need to Know (link in profile), and my "Tips for Subgals on CollarMe" at the end of this profile.

I seek a charming, graceful, intelligent, articulate, industrious, submissive girl, mid 20s to mid 30s, slender to athletic build, and petite to average height. One who seeks to devote her talents and time to her partner, and through him to make an impact on the world. She grows by his direction and her own self-reflection. She devours new experience, knowledge, and wisdom. She is capable of sustaining a consuming, life-long relationship. (Experienced and newbie subs welcome.)

I'm an experienced, loving, responsible dominant man, seeking an intense kinky relationship, based on chemistry & dedication, not merely fantasy. I'm very handsome, 6'1, trim, athletic, anglo, sea-gray eyes, short brown hair, and young for my age in appearance and energy. I am NOT impatient, immature, dismissive, abusive, nor solely interested in sex.

For me, D/s is more than the practice of "different" loving, or authority over one's lover. It is a state of mind which colors the whole partnership. It is a bridge of energy between lovers that unites them regardless of the issue of the moment. It is a path towards the deepest possible intimacy with another soul.

I require a great deal of my girl, physically, intellectually, emotionally, sexually. She must be fulfilled to serve, suffer, and sacrifice for me, in whatever way I wish, until I am sated. I shall teach her a wide range of skills and habits, and see her adhere to them religiously thereafter. No part of her life would remain unaffected by my touch.

On the surface, I'm a charming, well-dressed, intellectual gentleman. I prefer the company of a close friend to socializing in a circle of acquaintances. With my sub I'm engaged, directive, creative, firm, kind, cruel but careful, fair, ferocious, insatiable, yet still vulnerable. My standards are very high, for both of us.

I strive for self-awareness, of my strengths and weaknesses alike. I'm a romantic, but I can be a bit cynical. (I'm full of intriguing contradictions.) I am single, a non-smoker, an occasional drinker; I never use drugs, and am in superb health. I love partner dance, philosophical conversation, theatrical-quality tomfoolery, walks in the city and country, pondering the world and the universe together, and forging the deep bond with my love that only SM can.

The girl I collar will eagerly offer her submission whenever I desire it, and be a spirited but deferential companion otherwise. I relish the master/slave dynamic at times, though often prefer easy kinship. Once the trust between us grows deep, we will mine the gemstones found in the hot, dark, depths of human nature.

I love to write and correspond and discuss vanilla and D/s topics. I understand that a girl who is seeking a dom online is taking a risk in connecting with strangers. I have no desire to press for more interaction than you are comfortable with, and I only reveal my dominant side to one whom I trust. Trust takes time!


Tips for Subgals on CollarMe

This site makes little effort to control abuse, e.g. limiting the number of messages someone can send in a day. As a result, gals are typically inundated with junk messages, many from apparently crazy men. Here's how to cope:

Set Mail Controls. (Button at top of Messages page.) This moves messages from undesirable correspondents into a bulk folder. Do mention your mail control settings in your profile text, so someone who troubles to read it will know if he fits your criteria.

Delete your pic, or post a less provocative one. Gals with pics are far more inundated with junk messages. You can easily attach a pic to a message, so you need not be faceless to everyone.

Immediately block anyone who's rude, without responding. When a dom contacts you, you're a stranger to him. Genuine doms are respectful to strangers, and especially respectful to kinky strangers!

List your weight. Don't be embarrassed if you're somewhat over your ideal weight. (A dom might enjoy helping with that!) If you don't list your weight, you won't show up in *any* searches with a weight max.

Read dom profiles and reach out! Doms like to be approached -- it makes us feel attractive and powerful! :-) Don't take it personally if you don't hear back; you can't tell what's going on in the gent's life at that moment.

Let a dom candidate earn your trust over time. Genuine doms are patient and sensitive and concerned about their partners. They're not in a hurry to punish you or own you. They recognize that you wish to put yourself in an extremely vulnerable position in a romance, and that you need to get there gradually.

Be inquisitive and skeptical. Many, possibly most, "doms" online are bullies or misogynists hiding behind BDSM. Even guys who seem nice enough in person in public may be unfeeling jerks behind closed doors. Your best defense against these types is asking numerous questions -- about previous relationships, successes and failures, how they ease into a relationship, etc.

Many more valuable insights can be found on my blog, BDSM: Things You Need to Know.