I apologize. This is a 1 AM rambling so it's long and not my best. Haven't been my best of late. But here goes...
This site is a mass medium. The vast majority of people here are likely passive witnesses to a much smaller number among us living very exciting and fun lives. A natural outgrowth of that, the same as with the rest wider mass media world, is a whole shit pot load of envy.
There's a song by 3 Doors Down called "Be Like That." (Here's a video link if you are not familiar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHpMtWtgUvc ) It's not just the lyrics, but the whole arrangement that says what I am trying to say here. Do not envy, there are plenty who envy you.
Some times this site wears me out. I see beautiful bodies doing extremely erotic things. And it's fun to see. And I learn from it. Do you?
But in the cold blue monitor light at 1 AM you know that will never be you. And it hurts. Or when you are at a play event that's winding down and nothing has happened for you so you are still standing alone in a corner and watching, just watching. With all those floggers twirling and all that beautiful flesh straining. You so want to be that, don't you? Why can't you be like that?
I know. I've been there. In many ways I'm still there. I am alone again. I don't get the opportunities to play I want. So many of my rope visions never find expression on real skin. People around me are not themselves alone and get to play far more often. It's hard. It hurts. It hurts. It's a constant fight not to let it overwhelm me.
But the second half of the song is also true. There are people out there with nothing. Literally nothing. They envy me. They envy you. We are not at the bottom of it all.
I have skills people admire. I make people laugh. I make things they like, from a funny little knots to gorgeous floggers. I have ideas! I can write! Women become aroused just by reading my words. I can turn a Kindle into a sex toy! And I can cook. My muddy buddies are highly regarded in some quarters. My weight is going down and my body is firmer than it was. There are so many who wish they could say that. People know me. When they hear my user name at some event they say "Yeah, I heard of you!"
Now stop right there. Don't envy me. I have things you wish for but you have things I wish for. Trust me, you do. For most of my life I was a four time loser working on five. Bottom line I am going to end my days childless. So don't envy me.
But the point of it is that neither of us need to go there. Okay?
List some good things about yourself. List one good thing. Take joy in it. It's okay to brag about yourself a little--just a little.
But also brag about others you know. So and so is a great rigger and, do you know he's also a world ranked chess player? So and so can take a pounding as a bottom, so much so I call her the Iron Lady. Did you know she taught scuba diving and was a blacksmith? And then there's the fine lady with fourteen books, count them! fourteen! How cool is that?
Do you know how good it feels to say something positive about someone else? Try it! If you do that it automatically gives you another good thing about yourself. Funny how that works, huh?
Yeah all those bad things are still out there. They are not going away. But when we can't avoid them, do not be afraid to seek comfort in others or to give it where needed. The really good thing about this site is that it is such a hug happy place. Ain't that so?
(Hm... Comfort and Joy, where have I heard that before?)
The birds are singing. I am hungry. I'm going to make breakfast. Did I mention I am pretty good at bacon? It would be a joy to make some for you.
In the epilogue of my (hopefully!) upcoming novel A Stitch In Time one of my characters say s to another. "Do not live in the house of envy, come with me to the house of joy."
Walk away from the envy and towards the Joy. It's not far.