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working on my goal to relocate filling out app that I pick up with luck may get hired part time |
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well some of what I belive in 1) a female is not the head of the house but is there to help support the head of house decidsons he makes she is to give input and her input is to be taken unders consideration but in the end the head of the house makes all the finial decidson in the matter,the female is to help carry out the plan in place.she to obey the male of the house there can only be one leader in a house and that is me.he is there to help and direct things while head of the house is gone.she is not to be mouthy or disrespectfull. this was her punishment for disobeying in the gardern |
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today is better putting the past behind and moving forward so many mess up a good thing they had going without realizing it until to late |
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today was my birthday boy was it ever fuck up the ex-girlfriend call to wish me a happy birthday message was all mess up but got to hear happy birthday call the number back to leave a message thank you but she pick up the phone told me she love me and that things were not perfect and he scare her last night and told me she made a mistake of marrying the ex again I told her that I agree with her how I felt about the whole mess I told her cant have anything with her until she fix her current sitituation. that she needed to be with her oldest daughter who need her more I told her you know of my plans you know where I will be in spring or summer of 2010 if she got her situation correct then maybe we can have something then ..she ask me to call her in the morning and said I will....just have to wait and see just couldnt talk to her long today because I was on break and had to get back to the floor. told a few co works talk to her this morning and wanted to know how she was doing some are a bit piss at her for what she has done but despite everything she has done I still care and love her very much ...it just been the happies time I had with her in my life |
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talk to a few friends tonight about what happen feel sad,anger,numb a friend tells me that I act like I am in shock I dont know everything is just a bur now hating tomorrow just dont want to listen to the insincerity of people spend 2 hrs with another friend they were just listening we debated relgion for I feel this was the cause of it all it all sucks trust is all but gone what worse is my belief in what the next possible sub comes in trying desire=belief=trust all by shatter why will never know why so got to trying to firgure it out it will just drive me crazy haved to move on now forget her she gone will she be the same ...no but will most likely will treat her as the same
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well just what I fear would happen she went back to the ex and remarry the asshole she fully destruted by doing that now. but I know she will never be happy but it a choice she made and will now have to live with the rest of her life I wish her well and hope he treats her better then he did in the past but now I know I can move forward it was great while it lasted.It was just a steping stone for us both it was a road I travel with no regrets I gave it my all and that is all I can do .but the pain is still the same play the voice mail message back for a co worker and was totally shock by it has a few other left beweller by it all. but it still dont change my plans to leave iowa and move to OKL this spring taking a second job to help with the move. |
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come spring heading to Oklahoma city area tranfering in. Will be a new place just have to wait and see, having hopes for beter things will miss very few people back here but will stay in contact with a few |
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well I spent the last 2 days talking to one that doesnt have common respect or cursity she demands from others and just whines about how mistreated she is.I doubt very much she that mistreated. it more whinning and feeling sorry for oneself more that I think, getting involve with her would be a mistake on my part just to much drama... |
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today is better waiting for that call if or when you call. to ask the big question what am I holding on to.the reason of dont give up hope ..just isnt enough alone. there is no contact you wont return my calls.you wont talk to me.your 1000 mile away give me a better reason .I told you about the issue of religon how that was to be resovle but I also know you were threaten in some way I cant help without knowing that threat. |
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tonight just suck all the way couldnt get the girl out of my head .... |
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been thinking hard about a move it has been decides am moving for a change of sencery with this move it is hope I can change my luck getting away from the old crowds and staying away need that positive stuff and the wo is me need positive people in my life and not users what am I doing to attract these losers am I to trusting,to guilable, do I give to many chances,Am I to compassate to my fellow man Am I to generous ,to understanding,to willing to help others ,do I have to much honor or intergerty no it me I dont know how to be anything else many I am just not selectived enough.
Am told to open up more to allow others in when I do my heart just get tramp on I did that last time expose myself fullto her telling her everything false promces, all I hear broken words , all I hear is heastion,feel abandoned and betrayal of the trust and hope I give. will I ever find that one friend that knows me told me what I have felt these last weeks is that I can love again. the hurt and pain wish it go away need to bury myself in to work got to keep my mind off the pain I feel I hear her voice in my head I see her smile I cant look at her picture without crying I talk to her yesterday for 45 min. told her a plan what it was just ramble on ,she says very little ask if I miss her I said yes told me she was thinking about me when I call her said not to give up hope yet .So hard not to do so when she 1000 miles away. why cant she tell me anything ,why cant she trust me. she was just starting to .what scare her so bad she had to run.I dont know about the move to oklhoma is it the right move contact the store got the store number need to research positions to tranfer check about apartment online cheaper but really need something less expensived. but cheap then where I am presently living 8 hr drive I know to move time to start getting rid of everything need to be saving for the move. |
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if all you can write in a profile is name,sex and age and cant write anything else pass me by because it tells me your are lazy.you wont put the effort in telling me anything or work in to a relationship .you are just here for a fanasty time because you are bored with your current life.your just here to lurk and play games like so many others.The laundry list of demands will get the same. and to the one that want finicancial security I wish you the best of luck for today there no such animal today corpate irrespondablity is at the highest the greed is to great and self center they have forgotten how they got there the loyality they show is nil but expect you to be blindly loyal as they put the screws to you. they have no appreciation for the employees.they make you unemploy to ship your job out of county to screw the worker there and pay them sub wages like 2.50 a day. and they wonder why we dont buy there product..lol to make it simple unemploy americans cant buy your cheaply made products that is highly over priced. |
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mmm who can I trust feels like I cant trust no one now days ,are they real or are they fake got to keep hope and faith the trust will come or is it the trust or a believe ablity issue some many say it but few are it ..been burn so many times before., is it the correct course dont know but must keep trying must keep moving forward who knows the road is fill with potholes and detours keep fouse . |
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yesterday was rough she call we talk for 22 mins she said she was sorry for hurting me and telling me this would be our last conversation.I told her that I love her still and would take her back in a heart beat ask her where she was at and was staying and if she was ok.she told me she was ok and was staying with the ex my heart stop and was going to try and work it out. I wish her well and total her I wont try and contact her again. dont understand why she call to tell me she was sorry again what does she want she make a choice and it wasnt me. cant take any more calls from her cant keep doing this it just hurt to much cant move on with her calling me she cant move on by calling me .it dont matter any more.God I am so upset with her the guy who beat the crap out of her for 26 yrs.guess sara told him I was seeing her mother and he just wanted to destroy her happniess. everything was a lie she told me.just when I thought I could start to trust again got nuke this time good feels like my heart been rip out and stomp on once more depress about it again want to cry but cant think shed all the tears i could for the last 2 weeks over her.I know work is going to ask if I heard from her work going to be crappy today . |
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well a co worker told me she was safe and happy .I wish her well at this point in time I hope she figures out what she wants and see what she lost it up to her now to make the 1st move. will not try to contact her as her request when I return to work again will tell them she will no longer be discuss with me and not to tell her anything about me either dont need her checking up on me ..tired of hurting and being depress need to get my sleep pattern back and to start eating again regularly. |
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why respond to this is he real or just a scam.
Hello i am new on the site looking for some one to be my master because i am a good and submissive dicksucker ...i am ready to relocate any where and ready to be a submissive slave ...are you ready to be my next of kin for the fund in the bank of holland? what kind of fool do they think I am the relation wouldnt be real just lot of high hopes to be crush. |
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thoughts: am I to picky ? am I to honest ? am I easy mark so many tell me things about myself is it true. I dont know give respect and belief unconditational until proven not I give ever chance at success but why do so many doubt themselfs hide what they feel. have to be open to find what you want and to keeep what you have. communcation is so much the key to a real relationship you have to talk and listen to each other.So many rush and they rush to the wrong thing and get hurt.read so many profiles most are not worth it. laundry list and money they give the hurt is abound people that desprate?lots of people scaming now days.one day will find my one she will give herself to me fully,I need to work more on my trust but not be taken by it either like I have been in the past .Maybe one day I will find that one I an trust. that will stick around not run away.found it but she ran it ok to be scare but dont run work thu it have belief things can work out have have faith in your self and others. be positive . |
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surpriszing weather is not bad 60 nice change for the week soon snow will be here didnt get my birthday off that sucks request was deny well will work on the yard and get the oil change in the truck today |
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have cold off since my last writing weather is better not rainning but looks like rain on my day off that will suck |
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the last 2 days work has allow us to dress up went as a soldier would had went as the devil if had my partner but change because she left. So went as the soldier it was cheap just use my old uniform was surprise still fit in to them some were to big but this town sicken me from the comments that I had from custmers the names I was call from being a nerd to baby killer felt like I just got back from part 1 where we were order out under sercertly because of the ter cell they broke up a few days before we left where they were planing to set off bombs without going cebration for leaving units we were told we snuck out like bandits and didnt deserver a hero welcome like the other units did it just feels like was back in the 60's again was told by a surpviser this morning a custmer complain that I was wearing the uniform during working hrs and I shouldnt be what hurt most was he claim he was active army funny he call me sir when the rank show I was NCO not Officer he was told I was retire miltary so I could wear it the u.s was remove from the uniform the assholes just kept comming today just got to the point hr before my shift was to end I told a custmer I was wanting to move out of this state to anywhere but here find the area people with there head up their ass and thinking they are just to good. little do they realize it was men like me that put 28 30 plus yrs in so there sons and daughters dont have to go or do the crap we had to do the ungratefull basters this state can kiss my ass they are not worthy of my talents or experience. they are just ignorate. the price we are willing to pay so they can be this stupid the miltary people are a very generous they give up alot. in time and family we all would love to be home with our families and not being shot at my job was to return their sons and daughters back in the same condition we recieve them in one piece. Our families suffer our wifes or husbands and children suffer with each and every depolyment we go thu. the not knowing if we are alive or dead or hurt or been taken prisioner this kills more miltary families then anything it takes a special breed to join the miltary and make that commitment.I just been so piss by the comments that I have listen to these last 2 days. what a fucking halloween.I will be glad to move from this fucking state.it been one bad thing after another here since I move here from the rape of one daughter to the molesting of 4 of my grand kids out of 7. this state is not good for my mental health.today stress factor is way up ..I she my girl didnt have to leave wish I could have her loving arms around me right now |
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I have try to reach out to her tonight I call her cell telling her how concern and worry I was about her all I got was her voice mail it been a week since the last I talk to her or hear from her it is now in her court.even if she came back things will never be the same it never is when one leaves there is always doubt a deman I think we all share when one we care about so much decides to leave.if she decided to come back how does one over come that doubt that the million dollar question or is it the answer |
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I cant slept rembering how she ajusted my clothes before we went anywhere always wanting me to look my best .I miss the long showers we took every morning as she scrub me now her eyes would just glow they just sparkle brightly miss the walks we took, the lunches we had in the park over looking the man made lake not far from work how she would just sit at my feet or just pull them apart and sit between them holding my hand on to her shoulder how we talk about the future together she would drive me mad with her jealousy but still loved her the same I miss her smile the way she would glow every day being so postived with so many negative people around her child like look on to life so trusting she was
been rainning heavy here all day almost 3 inch by 10 tonight. |
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am highly concern talk to her closes friend tonight about her and try to find out what set her off on this track hearing story she traveling alone from Okl to az to MT while being very sick she is breaking away from her plans that she telling everyone feeling helpless just sitting on the sidelines it seams it is scary to think of her state as mine she is in. contract friends I think she will respond to hope she will call one |
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today didnt start well at all was 2 hrs late in gettiung in. a co worker to me she talk to her the other day am now really confuse as to what is going on or taking place.what I know she was in okl on sat sun morning she told me she on her way to az today co worker said she on her way back to okl confuse as to what going on now |
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today seams alittle better getting up is a bit easier the pain that I feel is a bit less but wrok will not be the same the sadness that I feel is still great hoping that we are busy to keep my mind from drifting I know I will be looking for her but she will be gone I will be ok if no one ask me about her today custmers have noticed a big change in me to quite, they know something has happen but not what.Not really caring anymore need to change the place I am living need to move but where need to get out of this state. |
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tonight I call her and wish her a happybirth day and wish her a well life Tonight will be the last call made to her I hope she listen to the message and not delete it from her phone. I will no longer make any attempts to contact her.I know the days will be long without her will miss her simle greatly the glow in her eyes as I look in to them .I hope I gave her the straight to to do what ever she had to do and the wisdom to go along with it.May that first night I pick her up from the airport I should have been stronger who know what might have been I was dump and stupid her path of self destruction was unavoidable.I just couldnt help to stop it. |
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I think about you everyday wondering what I could do different and there is nothing.I told you when we first met that if you decided to go I would let you go I would do what ever you ask of me to help you move on I know we both are hurting and you did what you felt was right for you If you ever decide to come back we can always start over I know it will not be the same it will be hard to over come that hurt.In time am sure that it will go away and ithe time that will only make it better |
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I dont understand why you left so suddenly. why you couldnt talk and open up to me what ever it was we could have work thu it. I will never understand why your church took the stand they did found it very closed mined.I know the ex call you fought with him for 3 hrs and know you talk to him the next day as well.You make me wonder did he threaten you did he threaten me I could handle it if he did.I wish you could tell me the truth about it all. was it my hosptail run that scare you I told you I wouldnt leave you and I am still here.You know I am a fighter I wont take things laying down. i cant sleep havent slept since you left you leaving felt like a death.You want me to fight but I cant fight this.It so much bigger then me fighting the unknown it eating me alive Nothing is the same any more work is depressing co workers are asking why and I have nothing to tell them but what you told me.Nothing makes sense I am confuse and bewillder by all this life dont seam to have a meaning any more work is depressing I feel like I am walking in a daze without you completed me you were the other half of me Maybe one day you will see this if you every come back to me .I know you love me and I will always love you |
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Am recovering from a broken heart not really seeking anything other then friends at the present time it was 7 months long gave it all I had if just feels like a death of a loved one the pain is great the understanding is not why someone tells you that they loved you and then they leave because of religion told them to plans were in the making to get married and spending the rest of our life where it was warm the hurt is plentyfull I know she is hurting huch as well wish she didnt go but cant fight what was brothering her I will miss the way she light up when she ever saw me will miss holding her in my arms miss running my hands in her hair or just the time being in her present think about her all the time everything seams to remind me of her time seams so rotten now days are long and lonely |
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havent written much of late mainly because not to much to talk about here and that I have a life outside of the intenet as well maybe my belief has been shaken here for see most are only seeking the online fantasy but to me it got to be more then this my soul demands it. it just to much apart of me my search is actived but not actived look for the friend first before I look for the submissive for it will reveal it self to me in it own time. I just listen to that inner self of mine for the dirction that I go .I see the fears of the submissives as well as there desireds as the phonyness of others many play it as a game and playing it poorly making to many assumation that are not correct or are generalzes.at times I wonder if I am in the right area but feel that no matter where I go will find the same phonyness I see here with many am I real I can yes but not foolish enough to believe everything that I am told here either many make the mistake of forgetting there real smart people at the other end of this I dont have to boast or blow my own horn because they will know that I am real once they start talking to me and most of the time I dont waste mt time chating here like I use to come and check my mail see who as look at me and go I dont need the chatroom to talk. |
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so many assume and very few take the time to find out who some is people are just to big in a hurry to get no where.Without getting a relationship they wonder why they lose that partner they dont look inside that person. they fail in communcation and understanding one has to talk and listen to a person to understand them. to much is place on sex it seams to be the number 1 goal on most people mind sex will come for it just icling on the cake. |
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well let me make this clear I dont care if one is green,black or polky dotted if they are 80 pounds or 300 pounds that dont define your submission or slavery with me but what does defines it what is in your heart and willing to explore to enhance one self to much is given to eye candy that is only temperary at best for time takes told on all of us what defines one submission to me is your willingingness,your sincerity that only comes from within |
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I am surround by people but I still feel so alone I know them but I dont know them they say they are my friend but really are they dont see it in there action. I feel deserted but that the way it always been hated the feeling of distrust I have seen to many fakes.to many just wanting money wanting everything and not giving anything in return I need to distance my self from this crowd. I am so very frustrated at the time searching for a way to effect change that will be good maybe I should change jobs dont know like some of the people I work with but the challage is managment how do I balance the 2 with everyone in fear mode the fear is running amuck the uncertainty I got to hold it together got to stay strong be the light to guide show them things will get better just got to hang in there how do I over come the fear factor the distrust that in place..many questions and just not enough answers .just a ghost traveling thu |
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It has been a rough week at work the breaking of securty proctrol and the bs of having me to say please to tell some to go to do there station to work got jump after I just clock in to my keys because I went to the manger because the assitance didnt come like he said .requested to step down but my manger spent the hour and half talking to me to stay in the position things wont change change I feel my manger is good but the few other suck as being one question is can I live with it.can I put up with the bs and the people protecting there own little terriorty just so piss off right now dont want to do anything rash that I will regret later maybe the next 2 days will help but am so sad right now .. who really cares what they are doing any more ..it just setting people up to fail any more .. |
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yesterday old co work stop in looking for me was shock as hell he said was looking for me for the last 6 monthes offer me a job not sure what the offer is will have to drive up to story city on mon to find out need to dam good to get me to leave my current position was ask my assit manager what he he wanted told him the truth was piss about what going on the last few months and said dont like being set up for failure as I feel I was being set up up to do ... |
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It has been a rough 3 or 4 days now big demands from work with little or no support yesterday was the last straw my ankle gave out on crutches now until I can bare weight on it again god my arms hurt so bad from work and wish this weather get out of the area to ease the pain that I am in .. thinking got stress facture in my leg now have to get it x ray mon to find out for sure need to locate my boot to wear closing tomorrow that will be interesting it going to be crazy torrow I know had a few show interest from another site but it all wait and see the cunt still want me to continue to train until she getting married but find it weird but interesting gut telling me she will be continuing to see me after she is married despite what she is telling me thinking she going to keep me on the side to use her as I see fit ....she is sending so many mix siganals ...thinking I am her first true owner she ever had ...and she cant let go as much as she may want to ..strange question she ask will have to think about it ... |
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went today to meet someone in Des moines waited half hour and left. she now has a creditablity issue with me because it was no show no call. would be different if she would have call or left a message she wasnt comming. just showing true colors I guess |
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well it was short and sweet after a few calls to her she is not one for my house I am not sure what she is looking for but dont think it the lifestyle my only other girl that I had went and got her self engage this week well I am happy for her and do wish her the best life .. |
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am presently talking to a local girl she seams interested but we will wait and see we are scheduding a meeting soon to see where it goes if we will continue or not |
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time is going fast will be good to get away for a week work been nuts. it will be goo to go home again havent seen my folks or brothers or sister since my oldest brother died mom and dad are are not in the best of health either will be nice to go camping in michigan trees ..god how I missed the forest love how I would go camping in the forest gave me great peace just to be alone to refouce and catch my breath waking up in the great pines the smell of the moring fire ..the sound of the birds ..to see the deer grazing. may cant get here soon enough for me first real vaction in may years that I had.I need to ready my self as well for my folfs wont be here much longer I feel and when one goes I feel the other will follow quickly I hate traveling home to bury people hope it dont follow the last time I went home.I know the market going to be depress the area going to look like a ghostown because the the state of ecomine is but traveling thu the up will be great will take longer to get there but will have a great view along US 2 and across the bridge will spend the night up there see the island wnd the fort . |
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this week had serveral con artest message me on collar me all wanting money lying about where they are at it just makes it worse on everyone dont know why they think a Dom is always so guable willing to send money or desprated I dont know maybe it just because we have all these 18 yr old Masters that done it all hell they are not even dry behind the ears yet ..hell I am 53 and I dont know it all how can they at 18.I have a few messages from people that are real and sincer in what they say and do believe them if is a road with it bumps and pots holes in it we all try and becarefull not to drive in to the ditch at other times we come to a cross road and have to decide if we have to take a left or right turn or just go straight ahead for someone they just turn around and go back but they alway reserver it come back maybe because they a little wise more brave or become a little stronger in there belief but it a road they must travel I know I have hit my share of these pot holes the life has put infront of me and I become wiser on how to avoid them to made my road trip less bumpy hoping to avoid running in to that ditch or having a major head on crash with a train |
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it is always fun to watch how the females try and fight the natural order of things they were here to serve for they are just servents they are here to assit and help the male counter part.A female is here to cook and lean and do as told.They are to keep them selfs in a pleasing form for the males to view.they are not equal and never will be |
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females should stop fighting what is the natural oder of things where they are here to serve and obely the man and stop trying to be equal to him for she not and never will be her role has been assign at birth to serve and pleasure the man as he see fit |
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with me a female is only property with only the privages that I give her she has no rights but to to say yes to entering once there she has no more say she can be brought or sold or even will to another. she has only one perpose and that is only to server her better the nature of thing is that Man is her better and she is to serve him any way he desires she is to obey him or face punishment she is not his equal and needs to walk behind him |
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well I found another fraud asking for money 5 min after we started to talk that end that dissussion quickly so I wish janetlaw007 the worst luck ever the money is always a red flag her answers and reasoning were all flaw about the lifestyle and her reason being in it that if she is even gal to begin with not so one that copy a female picture |
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I dont know Maybe I am chasing that imposseable dream. who know I will continue to talk to people but not sure how much stock that I will give what they say.I know there are some real people out there.Just working to many long hrs but I am happy that I have the hours to work vs the ones that are losing there jobs at the present time. |
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tonight starts a new year hoping things will improve this year and be better there is always hope I do see things getting better in time but time seams not coopratining for the most of us hopeing my youngest to stay safe and come home in open piece from Irag.I know this experience is going to change him in may ways I just hope I can be there for him when he comes back war has a funny way of changing people once over there.It makes you grow up quite fast he will have long lasting frienships from it that many people wont understand. |
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To All I hope everyone had a good Christmas and I wish all a Happy New Year |
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well it 2 days before Christmas the yr has flew by quickly hopping for a better yr this time have alot plan for it even thu the times are very depessing with all the lay offs and people losing there jobs I have hopes to make it back to michigan this year.looking to taking a second job by hrs are working out to do it my construction projects are on track looking to see alot of middle size companies going under at this time and alot of under bidding. |
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started my new store and shift this week it just getting used to working nights again but the 1.50 increase per hr helps alot and the transfer go better now in position for the overnite Manager psition hoping now that I am position to get it sense I tranfer to nights when the other position open up .. |
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well I am back not really searching if one catches my fancy then maybe .. |
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well I admit I made a mistake my current gal is not what she claim to be so I must let her go she is not in reality assuming that she will be home naked waiting on me .. but that is not the case it has come to my attendation that she is using kids to clean and do other things that I have task her with I guess she thought that I would never find out I also know she has other male people here using the computers without asking first tire of the lies that are being spoken so she must go I feelk she is just using people in the lifestyle to get out of working and being taken care without caring what her parnter may think or feel caughter her a few times doing the emotional blackmail bit but caught it and stop it in it track I am so disappoint in what I am with current submissives most are looking for a free ride with out doing anything to earn it |
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what I dislike about online is the blank profile and the so call submissive that pm you wanting to talk then disappears after 3 lines and they are the one that wants to call a person a troll the most.. I dont get it people sign up for a dating center and dont talk or fill out there profile then goes in to chat room and wine about how they cant find anyone or the ops running the chat calling people trolls when someone is just asking about there status on what they are looking for some of these ops need to get a life but it also figures since they are always in chat 24/7 it must be there life just stuck in a fantasy world of online but one line does have it good points it has made more people aware of the lifestyle and help people not feel so alone about it |
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well it been a busy week for me once again my for sub she had shoulder surgery on tues and need someone to spand the last 24 hr with her because she cant be alone afterwards for the first 24 and the sub that I am currently training had to run to her the hosptial for a female issue she was hemoaging so spent 6 hrs at the ER to be sure she ok ..looks like a wek or 2 fill with doctor appointments |
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well this is for the ones that view my profile if you are interested in knowing more just message and I will be more then happy to talk to you..if there a bit of interest you will never know for cant read one mind yet..lol... |
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well been in my new home for a week the rain has told me alot about where the trailor is sitting now in the lowest end of the park lol the water thinking will need a boat in heavy rain to get out ..lol.things are slowly comming in to place helping a friend in about a week when she has shoulder surgery will be feeding her cats while she gone and help her when she home .. |
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well things are falling in place at last buying a few trailors and fixing them up to last longer will live in one as I fix the others one will be my play space |
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well life is keeping me busy working is needing ending thing had some personal things to take care of like helping my youngest daughter out .funny thing had a former co work ask me about the lifestyle and didnt thing she was in to it she asking to meet to talk more about it but our schedules and not matching up well for she working days and I an working nights right now |
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well the new year is here and it has started off with a bang I would say have many things going on at the present time looks like my job transfer is going to go thu to the new store here will be nice that I wont have to spend 600 bucks amonth for gas to get to work..have been contacted by s few that are interested in me have met them all they are all very nice and down to earth nice for a change they are all aware of each other which I know is good the reaction and them talking with each other please me to no end ..we all seam to be getting along well |
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as the yr is comming to close I take stoke of those who are my friends and say they are a group of great people some are real some are fair weather as we all have them had a rough yr but believe the yearr comming will be better.there is many thing in play right now and wait to see what will happen next.I will continue to try and imrove myself for that is something we can all do and wish all a good year and a safe one |
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well made my move in to my new place been busy working taking the time for myself I am now in back in Ames |
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well alot has been going on since the last entry been very buszy with worlk and met a few possible thought one was going to make it but she seam to good to be true and she was her interet was there but the draw back was No ID why dont people think that is important you cant take them anywhere with out it so had to cut her lose because of it no ID no relationship..hate to see her go but had to do it am renewing old friendships at the present time trying to move as well |
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well things are slowly starting to fall in place working more ,the sentencing of that idiot will be soon over and then that will be done class is going to be over in about 3 weeks and that going to start freeing up 2 nights of my week class is going well trick will be to keep it going well talking to a few people that are interested just have to wait and see where that goes |
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well I listen to another disappoint submissive today see fault where both parties were wrong jumping to soon and not delovopling a relationship first what awaste for she will judge all Dom by this broken promises rush ing to things not knowing and not willing to accept respondable for there part in the relationship we will always have unworthly people in this lifestyle we will hav people that just are looking to eascape there boring life and once that are just looking for a quick lay wondering what is becoming of the lifestyle now days seams no code no honor people just looking to eascape or being resuced or people that are just on a power trip with no clue what they are doing .. |
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today we finally got the call we been waiting for The DA call saying he was found guilty on all counts Hoping he get the max time at sentencing ..that will be in 6 weeks .now he is being taken from waterloo to cedar rapids to stand on fedral charges of illegally entering the country |
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well the trial is still contining today it should go to the jury soon it didnt help his case when he disputed the court room where the they had to physical subdo him ..all it did was comfirm his guilt. not good pulling power plays near the jury think he was wanting to run away because his story couldnt hold air ..family is waiting for word he is facing heavy time from the state then will have to face time in fedral court afterwards am perparing my impact state for his sentence ..thinking about my press confence about the way things were handle and the state of illegals comming in
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today the trail is expected to end wed I testfity for hr and half they they will adress the guy fleeing to advid procution just have to wait for the jury now DA is suppose to cal when the verict is end still undecide about the press conference will wait until the vertict is in... having a gut feeling that the jury will be out until mon. it been a long time comming waited 12 yrs for this.hope they dont trun him over to the Feds until he serves his time |
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well the trail started tues the jury took all afternoon to pick wed was the first full day of testmoney trail is to last util fri on fri they will deel with him fleeing from the first time supect it wont be until mon that the verct comes in think8ing about a press confence afterward ... |
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trial is postpone spent 2 days going over my testmoney family getting calls from the jail concern looking |
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well tomorrow is the trial of the guy that had sexually assulted my oldest it been a long time comming finially caught the guy again after he ran 12 yrs ago back to mexico there is so much I want to say to him but cant at this point .was an illegal yr yrs ago and is still is got caught sneaking back in again.Am piss off at the DA believe she trying to blow this case ..that is so fuck up not sure how I will react if he walks because of her ..just got the feeling she it not worth her time |
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well recieve a letter from a pityfull thing dont think she is has ever experience bdsm outside of being online just a wantbe she will go in my hall of shame I do think one must talk to one before they make a judgement and say they are demanding or in a dream world if by stating what I want is demand so be it it could be said the same thing about this pityfull person.I do think one needs to talk to one first before writting them telling them how demanding they are or how much they are in dream land or a joke the only one I see is a joke is this person that wrote me that email if I am so demanding why did she even bother writting since there would have never been a connection she is just another online wantba and I do consider where the source is comming from just a pityfull frighten,bore person that is scare of one own shadow and dont have the gut to tell her lover what she wants in bed most likely one of the dead fuck you would find in the vanial world one that just lays there with her legs open and think the worlds owes her something because she got a pussy well got new flash for here there are alot better people outhere then she is and a better fuck to boot I feel |
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well I ran in to another groupie from msn that never ever experience the lifestyle someone that afraid of there own shadow and is closed minded that has no repect for any others kinky so many players and wantba be has enter collorme pertending to be what they are not making a once good site a crappy .. just to many online players that trying to tell real life people what is correct and they are so far off base ..it is unreal I know these fakes will give the wrong information out to newbie and they will get hunt it is a shame we need to get back to the bacic one more go back to the old style where one was invited and sponder in to it ..not have these wantbe that wake up this morning and say ..hey I am Dom/Domme or sub /slave today for they dont know what it is or about to ..either it the money grubing slave looking to be taken care of thinking there is no respondablity at all it they will be naked and fuck the whole time. they are in a rude for a rude awaking .then you got the dead beat ones just barking things out that they have no concect what is to be an owner the lifestyle is in a sad state afairs today because of it ... |
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am moving back to des moines talking to friends working to many long as hrs going to school and half way thu my class will be done in aug thinking about building some new toys and buying some new ones as well still waiting to come across my gals yet but still no luck finding alot that like me but turn off by the fact that I am poly but O well just cant give up my poly |
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well am just enjoying life right now an speaking to otherss in the lifestyle ...have met a few and have enjo there company ..have made friend with some withouts that all it will ever be for we just didnt click.. |
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well at this time I am subspending my search and taking time for myself. I will talk to anyone if that all they want to do is talk. for right now I need the time for myself |
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well one more place my trust trust in one that I shouldnt have she did nothing but told me lies and decived me about us going to real time join collarme and put on a velco collar and lie about the involvedment well to the ops of that room well I feel they are in a power trip because they cant be r/l like some of can be ..most likely fear someone had more knowledge then they did it becomming a joke here now since msn has close it chat ..all the players and gamers here now throwing there bs around once more it basicly dont belive anything that any say on here for most likely it will be a lie for this I add another name and room to my hall of shame |
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well my search is back on one more for 2 people to join my house that are compatable with my style and thinking.I just have to wonder about some as to why they they they maybe submissive for they dont have a clue and feel they can be insluting and just play there silly games I guess the reason I am alone is because I dont have time for these fakes dont wonder stand why so many think the Doms and Masters are so stupid we do catch the lies and half truth .. we try to give each one the benfit of the doubt until we decide it no longer worth the effort then we boot them to the curb ..I have listen so much how they trash the Doms and Masters and they wonder why they was not being taken seriously many one day they will get a clue and look inside and say they dont want to be like that and true decide they will surrunder to there true self's and accept who they are |
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am no longer searching for I think I have found what I am looking for at this time |
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well it a new day I try and keep looking on the bright side of things. person is different because they had different experiences from me ..I try to futher my understanding of the lifestyle and the people that are in it it .I think understanding is a key to one growth for we are always growing and learning something new even if we dont think we are ..that is because we have our minds close. |
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wondering how so many that can get on a computer and still cant read a profile.. if I state I am poly why am I geting mail from ones that have issue with it wanting me to take them on that I dont understand for your not going to change either person ..I see some many that dont have a sence of reality or balance ....we all need to have a reality check from time to time even me so we and stay balance ..I have counsel many submissives and see alot of the things they do ...and they just cant figure out how they got there ..it just so simple they have rush in to a relationship without knowing that person....they just stop thinking ..why I dont know ..guessing they figure they are not subposed to because they found someone that said they were a Dom or Master... and it was all there respondablity to keep them safe .. I would say that all bs for they need to keep a foot in reality themselfs to...it the internet ..one can walk away from it at any given time ..it a fantasy world for many on here ..we all get taken time from time even the most experience ones .. but learn and dont repeat one mistake .. and dont hang on to the past either there are still alot of us that are good other .. |
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types of messages from people that I have never had contact with call this my Hall of shame
~Laughing~ yeah, you're 'real' alright.. That must be the reason you 're very 'dominate'! Heck, you dont even have a clue that it is aq verb,not an adjective..in your case 'DUMBinate works well
this is a type of email we all receives they have so much time on there hands and thy just dont know what to do with it I think her master would be very proud of her..if she had one |
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well I want to thank the ones that has sent me letters of encougementments..it was temperary pms time for me dealing with the lifestyle and it in real time and long for the old days ... |
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well Have subspended my search because of all the players and scam artist and drama queens and wantbe submissives .... get a life |
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they come as as they ealily go..hard to take people seriously ..most are scare of there own shadows. they talk good but are not willing to put woirds they speak in to action.it funny how these submissive rake the the Dominates over the coals at times but when one get call on the carpet about there actions it the poor lil victumn time for them.. I think that funny because they had just as big apart in it as there Dominate did ..they were so willing to go there or ask for it ..no one made them do it it pretty hard to make people on here do anything for it a choice they all have. most love the idea of being submissive but dont have that ablity to be what they say they want ..most will never step in the real world of bdsm ..only to play it online .. |
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well not much for writting and this is my first piblic journal there alot to say that is good and bad ..I am very secure in who I am even tho a few of the people that I know would say I am not ..but then they dont know me either they have never taken the time to do so..I been part of the real life community and attended my shares of munches and play parties ..some been great and some been pretty sad as well I have made some great fiends both online as well as off line have have detractors on both sides but it strange that I find one common theme about my detractors they never got to know me ..online hell they never or seldolm ever spoke to me or intacted with ..just like in real time as well.....I think I am not longer looking because I think I found my 2 girls now one is local to me and the other is not I will be looking forward to enjoying my time with them ..the internet is not aplace to conduct the bdsm lifestyle in my view it only can be truely achive thu real time meeting and interaction you must experience the people live and in person ..for them to truely to belong to you .. |
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