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Update: Due to the number of replies i get from those 20-35 year olds, please be 55 or older. Thank you.
Damn! Another year older and deeper in debt. Oh well, at least i am still above the sod, i think. Checked the obituaries in the paper today and don't see my name listed there, yet. (Wish the newspaper would use a bigger font so i would not have to put on my reading glasses to read it.)
OK, Ladies, no need to worry. i am over the hill so no need to worry about getting You pregnant. In my younger days i was hung like a field mouse anyway. Tried to have a vasectomy but the doc took one look and said he did not have a powerful enough microscope to do the procedure. Heck, at my age, if i tried to have sex, You would probably see me in an episode of "Sex Sent Me To The ER."
You would not find me watching and ogling other Women. i would need to have my cataract surgery first just to be able to see other Women.
i am not looking for a handout or a sugar mommy either. i am more than willing to contribute my share of my Social Security check to the pile. That is if i can remember where i put my Social Security check. Ah, memory is not what it used to be.
i am good in bed. No, not in the way You probably think. i was last used as a bed warmer or a human electric blanket when my Lady was cold.
It is said that i have a good sense of humor. i can't say -- i can't remember what i just said. One Woman said She couldn't humiliate me because my depreciating sense of humor did the job for Her.
i can be used as Your chauffeur. Still have a driver's license -- the last time i went to have it renewed they forgot to give me the eye test. They said it will be good for five years but were not sure if i would be around that long.
my doctor refuses to call me old. He is three weeks younger than i am and insists he is not old so i can't be either. He uses a cane to get around and has an amplifier to hear his stethoscope. His front office girl is his daughter but looks like his mother.
i get along well with other slaves/subs. At my age i can't fight well so i just find it easier to get along with them. Still have a full head of hair -- no toupee for me! Yes, there is some graying but at least i don't have to glue it down, yet. i am single. It is not body odor that drives women away. They just seem to die of old age on me. Like to travel and visit different places by car. It is not that i am afraid of flying. It is just TSA -- they used to make me take my shoes off and walk on the cold concrete floor. Last time they said i didn't have to because of new regulations about my age. i am straight and don't do bi.
i shave my face every day. Learned my lesson. Friends threw a surprise birthday party for me a few years ago. There were so many candles on the cake that i had my facial hairs singed by the flames. Neighbor saw the flames and called the fire department. They hosed down the cake, but by the time they got there, the top icing was covered by melted wax from the candles.
i am old fashioned and always open the car doors for Women. At least, for older Women. Ran into a Woman-liber years ago and She opened the door into my groin shouting She could open Her own door, thank you.
i am kind of handy around the house. Do some woodworking, some leather-working, some gardening, and minor electrical work. i am retired. Tried to get a job greeting people at Wal-mart but they refused to hire me. Thought i would scare their customers away -- said something about the customers would think that they had died and would think that they were being greeted by St. Peter i was that old.
i don't smoke or drink (well, maybe a drop or two of wine once a week.) Used to know Jack Daniels personally and look what happened to him from his drinking -- dead as a door knob! my height and weight are in line -- not obese. i used to weigh about 190 but now am at 155. i won't eat us out of house and home. Damn dentures see to that! (Actually have all my teeth except for my wisdom teeth -- had them removed and my IQ dropped 20 points!)
my preference is for a Domme/Owner who is white, over 55, has a sense of humor, and is into the gentler form of D/s. (i just hate it when i get an email from a teeny-bopper who is young enough to be my great-granddaughter!) Not a pain slut although i realize punishment may be necessary to correct my behavior. You must be DD free. Height and weight is not a concern. Compatibility and chemistry are a must. i have over twenty years experience in D/s and have worked with other subs/slaves and and have worked with single and multiple Dommes together. Preference is one-on-one.
Thank You in advance for taking the time to read this long introduction. (i assume You have read it and did not just ignore it like many of the P/people here.)
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