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TO SEE MY COMPLETE PROFILE, PLEASE GO TO MY ORIGINAL PROFILE: OH2CALLYOUSir. FOR SOME REASON, MY PROFILE ON THIS USER NAME (ohhhh2callyouSir) CUTS OFF. "Ohhh, to call you 'Sir.'" Hello. I am a natural submissive and am seeking to be completely owned. I turned 46 in mid-September, am not married, and have no children. I recently moved to Arizona but could and would move just about anywhere for the opportunity to serve a male Dominant who is a decent person with good character and honor.
A little about me - and all of this is in no particular order, by the way - I do not want children, which is a big part of why I have never been married. The other factor as to why I've never been married, of course, is that I am submissive to my core. Dominant Men are few and far between (TONS of people who pretend, however, in order to get kinky sex from women they assume must be easy lays). All too often, when a Dominant Man does happen along, a lot of times he wants kids (or more kids with me..::::shudder:::). I cannot stress this enough, that I do not want to make babies.
A bit of what I seek is a Man who knows what Dominance is and is not. I really am drawn to Men who are naturally Dominant, and don't have to try at it. It simply is who they are, and they can't help but to be that way, any more than they can help their eye color or height. I would like a Man who is strict but not brutal, who wants immediate obedience but doesn't mind a playful personality, and who will let a D/s or M/s situation unfold naturally. (Over and over Men seem to think I will instantly and completely obey within 10 minutes of meeting. I need to know who you are first, please. For example, I am not about to give out my address or last name to a Man I have known on the Internet for a week, no matter how intense our phone conversations may have been.) I also do best with one-on-one relationships, as my observance has been that poly situations just never do work out very well in the long-run. Besides, doesn't a relationship with ONE person have enough of a chance of failing? Why throw more variables into the mix and make the success of the relationship even less likely?
I am not religious. I believe "something" happens after death, but what that is, I don't profess to know. But I think the Bible is a book written by many many people over hundreds or even more years, and as with any story, as time progressed, the story changed. And besides, just because something is written in a book doesn't mean it is true or to be respected. There's a book I am recalling..something about a cow jumping over a moon. Are we to believe it true simply because it is in print?
Speaking of cows, I love animals, and cannot imagine my life without at least one critter around. There is nothing more pure than the love of an animal, and plus, I enjoy taking care of a critter. Right now, I have a cat and two dogs. Some day I'd like to have more cats, and a parrot or two, and an elephant, and a mini-monkey, and..Ok, Ok, I am just kidding. Obviously, this would be up to the Man but for now I am just saying I love animals and find them amazing and loving and sweet.
I need time alone to recharge. This doesn't mean I will never live with the Man I serve. It just means that I need some time every day to myself to recharge the batteries. It can be while cooking dinner or reading alone or going to a gym for a good workout. Alone time each day helps me rejuvenate.
I am more obedient than not, and am embarrassed by those so-called submissives who act out in order to get punishment. I believe a woman should obey the Man, and make it her focus to please him. If she makes mistakes, she should accept his discipline and his punishment, if it comes to that. And me, I am even thankful for the most hideous of punishment
Click on the 'View Full Profile' button below to read the rest of this profile.
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Ok, all you body language experts! Here's one for ya.. At work, there's a table in the break room. On break, I sit in that break room at that table. Twice now, my big boss has chit-chatted with me (about work) while I've been sitting there. While we talk, he faces me, but puts his left foot on the chair to my right. (The table seats four, so he's using the chair from the next side of the table.) He's standing and I'm seated, and his left foot is on the chair, with his left knee pointing hard to his left. (In other words, it's kind of the opposite of having the legs crossed, plus he's standing.) I'm wondering what this means means in terms of body language. ***Thanks in advance!*** |
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Another year older today, the 11th of September. No one remembered (or - in the case of my remaining sister - cared). So, I bought myself a nice steak from the grocery store, some rapini, a sweet potato, and a bottle of beer. Spent the big night with my dogs - my best pals. Happy birthday to meeee! :-) |
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I'm just not into fraidy cat men. You're 57 years old, for goodness sake. Remember when you were young? You'd scribble your phone number on a scrap of paper, a bar napkin, a matchbook, ANYTHING in the hopes she'd call. Where are your balls? I'm really fucking TIRED of supposed Dominant men who pee themselves every tine they're asked for their phone number. I mean, hey, brainiac, did you ever think that talking on the phone might SAVE YOU A BUNCH OF TIIIIIIME? Let's say I call, and we don't like each other. Big deal - we are each out fifteen minutes. But you want to fucking email for the next two weeks. Fuck that. Go waste someone else's time. And see a doctor about locating your balls, which have seemingly ascended back into your abdomen. |
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If anyone has done a comparison on prices to send an overnight letter from Phoenix to L. A. and knows which is cheapest, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know. |
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Margaret Thatcher has passed away. Rest peacefully, Iron Lady. |
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It is so funny how supposedly Dominant men on here are terrified to give out their phone numbers, but expect me, the more vulnerable party, to. "I had a stalker. I can't risk it." Oh, ok. So YOU'RE afraid of MEEEE, the person YOU want to get to know, us that what you're saying??? Yet you want MEEEE to assume the risk that YOU YOURSELF are afraid to take on.. Hmmmm. Ok. :::scratches head:::: Where are the real men? What happened? |
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Hi. If you are in the architecture field, I'd really appreciate if you contacted me. I have a general question that someone in the architecture field would likely know. Thank you in advance. |
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I am not involved at all. I was in a relationship but it ended for me last month. It hurt, but next time, when I see red flags, I'll pay attention. I mean, goodness, the guy even lies on his profile about his height, which I guess I could understand if he was short, but why claim you're 6'4" tall when you're 6'2"? What's wrong with 6'2"? Yet he lied even about that. Anyway, I wish his last slave had somehow contacted every female on cm in this town and warned us all, because this man turned out to be a scary-good liar. |
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Wow, it's cold here in Arizona! I just got in from a first date - let him pick me up at my apartment. He called when he was a few moments out so I could walk outside and be ready as he arrived. ~~~ So I marched down the walkway from my apartment door to the sidewalk, glancing down the street to see if I could see his car. Nope, not yet! Then suddenly, bammo! I was flat on my back wondering what had just happened. ~~~ As I arrived at the sidewalk, I had hit a patch of ice, and before I knew it, my high-heeled footsies were pointing skyward! ~~~ I went straight back into my apartment and changed into Jeans and tennies. The black skirt and heels will wait for another, more balmy, day, indeed! |
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I made cookies tonight for a special man - peanut butter with chopped up chunks of SKOR candy bars, a recipe by Martha Stewart, if you're wondering what kind. After they cooled, I wrapped each in Saran wrap, and placed them carefully in a bubble wrap-lined box. Tomorrow, I'll take them and mail them to the other side of the country. ~~~
When I was a young girl, I loved making my dad cookies. I'm ashamed to say I haven't made him cookies in, oh, thirty-one years. Instead, I've been making cookies for men who had no appreciation. ~~~
My dad is old now. I only hope they get there quickly, and that he knows that I do, indeed, love him. |
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Thank you for the invite to chat. But I'm using my phone and chat rooms and phone just don't do well. (Can't see what's being written, have to scroll, etc...just not user-friendly.) |
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I am still seeing employment. Barring a real job, does anyone want to hire me to do odd jobs for them? I had a job as a personal assistant in L A and loved it, actually. I ran this woman's household, and it satisfied the submissive personality (no, I'm not a lesbo, but I did enjoy just having to complete a daily list and hearing that I'd done a good job) in me as well as the Virgo (we apparently love order and deplore chaos). So, any takers? |
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It is now 17 minutes past midnight and Christmas is officially over. And it just now occurred to me that I did not receive a single phone call for Christmas - not even texts wishing me Happy Christmas except from men wanting their dick in my mouth. |
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Dear Santa,~~~ I'd really like a man that cares enough about me to come see me on Christmas.....barring that, some other man who brings me an electric vibrator, a fifth of rum, and a bottle of Pepsi might help ease the pain of not having the first. |
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"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." You better watch out - I am coming for ya. |
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I fell asleep earlier and now I'm wide awake and realizing how empty my life is. In California, I had a full, busy life. Here, I don't, and I'm lonely. I miss my friends, my activities, the city, the beaches, mountains, deserts, all within a very short drive. I miss knowing that if I became ill or hurt, medical care was available through the state for cheap. I miss knowing my way around. I miss my home city of the past twenty-five years. ~~~Goodnight, my beloved L. A. |
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I can't sleep. Some clod at work has a cold, and rather than stay home, he came in, and proceeded to cough on me for twelve hours. People, no one else wants your cold. If you're sick, stay the hell home! Barring that, please learn to properly cover your cough. Making a fist and coughing onto your fist only ricochets the germs all over the room! Learn the "Dracula" method of covering your cough - by far the most effective way of preventing the spread of your dang cold, that you were too inconsiderate to keep from spreading in the first place by simply staying home! |
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Have any of your journal entries just spontaneously disappeared from this site? As in, boom, just not there anymore? I've never heard if this happening before.~~~
On another note, I miss Los Angeles terribly lately. I feel as if I'm morning the death of a loved one, a best friend, someone I knew on many levels, and who was suddenly taken from me, and who I didn't even get to say goodbye to.~~~
My face has tears falling from it, and my heart hurts. |
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Ouch. Car insurance is expensive. Ouch! Wallet is looking all scrawny again. And I need a vibrator..or something...badly! |
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I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep. |
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My parents did me a great disservice. They told me that if I am honest and good and treat people kindly, that I in turn will be treated with respect and kindness and not be treated malevolently. This is utter bunk. People will look at someone like me and see a target, someone to be used and thrown aside. It's sad, but true. As an aside, last month I read a book called "The Sociopath Next Door." One in twenty-five Americans has absolutely no conscience and can do absolutely anything without any guilt whatsoever. They are among us and, scariest, look just exactly like us. This book is short, interesting, and informative, and I recommend it. |
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I need to earn a few bucks. My pet needs to go to the vet, and needs medication. I wish I could be a pro slave for a day and have this little situation all taken care of.
Ah, well, a girl can dream, can't she?
In the meanwhile, seriously, if you have any work I could do for you, either short-term or longer, I'd love to hear about it.
:-) Thank you. |
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My little slave life has no meaning anymore. I'm like a gerbil on a wheel, just running and running, and making no progress. I've spent all this energy and time, and for seemingly absolutely nothing.
How depressing.
I've been invited out on the town. I suppose it's something to do. My heart isn't in it, but going seems the healthy thing to do.
But my slaveness isn't in it.. |
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My life is much like that of a lawnmower. A lawnmower is used, put away when done using, and not thought of or talked about until the next time it is needed.
I am just like a lawnmower, and my owner doesn't realize that it is lonely out here in the garage all by myself. Plus, my wheels are getting gunked up from too little use. |
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I can't sleep. Couldn't sleep last night, and can't sleep now.
I wish I had someone I could call up right now and just talk. I would like to have the kind of conversation that just flows, and you glide easily from one topic to another, and both people are happily participating,
Good, solid friends are rare in life, and when they come along, I certainly appreciate them.
Gonna try to doze off now. Night-night. |
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I don't typically write about such things but I need a good hard fucking. I need to be held down, and filled with masculinity. I need it to hurt some, and I need it to be all about him.
I have too much stress right now, and I need to be put to use in the most basic, most carnal of ways. |
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It's amazing how many men on this site say they want a committed relationship and on the day they tell me that, I tell them "Uh huuuuh, sure. You'll be like everyone else and get bored after a month or two and start running around.." and every one of them says no, I want this, what is right in front of me right now. And what happens? After a month or two they aren't with that person anymore, and are running around, following their hard little dicks like the fourteen-year-old boys they are. |
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I sometimes need to learn lessons a few times before they sink in. It's as if a giant puppeteer in the sky is booming out, "Let's go over this one more time....." I sigh and wonder to myself why I can't just hear it once, learn it once, and proceed as directed from that point forward.
I pride myself on not being bratty, on not being willful, on not being mouthy, yet here I am, relearning lessons that I should have down by now.
Sometimes I feel very down at my lack of progress. Yet tonight, I received some support from a friend, and some guidance from the Domly One, and I have hope in my heart that I will do better.
For now, I must sleep. Goodnight, cm buddies, and sweet dreams. |
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Last night I did something very bad, and now I am dreading having a conversation with a certain tall, strong, Domly One. Yes he may beat my butt for it, but more than that, I worry that he will think less of me.
This is my second attempt at this journal entry, for I am making it using my phone rather than a computer, and the first attempt's entry got eaten. Were I using a computer instead of my phone, this entry would be much more expanded upon. But I can at the least say I'm disappointed in myself and dread the upcoming conversation with this Man I care very much for. Yes, stripes may magically appear across my butt this weekend, but that's not what made it hard to fall asleep last night, or what gave me a bad dream, or what woke me way too early this morning - what did those things is the worry of being in trouble with the Domly One, the one I call "Sir." |
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I love this quote by Judge Judy: "Don't pee on my shoes and tell me it's raining." |
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Oh, my gosh. My neighbor thinks OJ didn't do it. I really can't handle ppl anymore.
How can someone think that??
Her reasoning was that OJ is first and foremost a jock, and that jocks don't wear black socks with black sweats, and that jocks don't wear Bruno Mahli shoes with sweats.
Based on that, she thinks OJ is innocent.
What the heck has happened to our world that ppl can be so incredibly uninformed and so incredibly stupid? |
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Quit sending me pics of your nasty shaved cocks! There's only one cock in the world I'm interested in right now, and it isn't yours!! |
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I can't sleep. Sometimes the ______ness is just too much.
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Have been grinding my teeth at night from stressssss. Funny how that jaw pain is three same as when ya haven't given blowjobs regularly, and you suddenly start doing those! Ahh, memories! |
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Today was a very good day. In fact, today was the best day I've had in a very, very long time.
I'm all tuckered out, but will edit this entry soon, in order that I can tell about my amazing and wonderful day.
Be well, all.
~o. |
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_ lying awake, wondering if she's being taken for a fool
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So tired. So worried. Can't turn my mind off in order to go to sleep. So fed up with this crap. So so tired. |
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I have lived in Arizona since July and have not done much but work and look for work. I have not done the touristy stuff or gone anywhere or discovered much about Phoenix at all.
I have decided that I really need to go out and meet people and see the area. I need to start going out and doing things - I'm home alone entirely too much - and need to start having a full life again like I did in L. A. Now if only I had someone that actually wanted to spend time with me regularly..very regularly... |
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Are you a pet-owner in the Phoenix area? I have a very sick pet and need to take her to the vet. I don't want to just open the yellow pages and hope for the best, so if you have a favorite vet, kindly let me know, please.
Secondly, having just moved here and being virtually unemployed, if you happen to need legit massage therapy services, please contact me. I'm getting pretty frantic for cash - especially with a very ill old lady (that I've had since she fit in the palm of my hand, by the way) looking up at me, waiting to be helped by me, the one who had always taken care of her.
Thank you very much. |
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It's funny how ppl on this site seem to have such a negative reaction to the word "slave" - yet if a woman gets to know a man, learns his ways, makes him comfortable, and takes care of his needs, then she is deemed sooooo wonderful by everyone. She has made her purpose that of taking care of him, and is therefore a slave, but somehow calling herself by that word tarnishes her reputation. Very odd, indeed.
Me, I'm a slave. He affords me the opportunity to learn his ways, I observe and obey, and we're both happy. |
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Slightly more than half-way through this miserable night. Unbearable. |
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It feels like C'mas is right around the corner! ::::happy, happy, joy, joy::::: |
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Relax, slave-girl, and just follow his lead, and all will be good. |
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When I start to think about something, turning it over and over again in my mind, I end up not being able to sleep. Right now, I can't sleep.
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So, I signed on this evening because my Yahoo acct had notified me that I had mail from someone named PhoenixDom4u (AKA AzMassage, though neither profile mentions the other profile). Here is an exact copy and paste of the lovely email he sent:
Dated:9/21/12 2:23 PM It's funny reading your profile....? You don't list your weight and you've never been married.? You must be some fat little slut that nobody wants and the only reason you are on this site is because that is the only way you could get sex and have a guy stick his dick in one of your holes..? It's better that you didn't have kids...? We don't need anymore families on welfare...
------
Last week, AzMassage wrote me the most vile email practically begging to come over and "massage" me, telling me of the multiple orgasms I'd have, and telling me he could come any time, since his wife was out of town at the moment. I politely declined, adding that he gives true professionals a bad name. He went crazy, sending some horrid email back, which I deleted and simply blocked him.
I guess he didn't like that I would not do the insults-back-and-forth game, so he waited a few days and wrote more hateful garbage under his AKA of PhoenixDom4u, knowing I'd not know it was him, AzMassage, till after I'd opened the email.
So a big congratulations go out to PhoenixDom4u, AKA AzMassage, for successfully tricking me into reading more of his sad drivel. You really got me, dude. ::::eye roll:::::: |
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I need to find a hilly safe place in Phoenix (preferably northern) where I can exercise. Any locals have any suggestions, please? |
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I'm so tired of this place.
In fact, I'm so tired. Didn't sleep last night. Instead, played [Word Hero] on my phone all night.
But really, I'm so tired of this place. |
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If anyone knows of a physician's or chiropractor's office hiring a massage therapist in either Scottsdale or Phoenix right now, would you kindly let me know? I've been doing this for eleven years and am very adept I'm a number of modalities.
Many thanks! |
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Does anyone know the difference between jam and preserves? Thanks.
And also, a friend is having trouble getting on the site. Can't remember password and is sent on a wild goose chase when trying to request a new p/w. And there doesn't seem to be a easy to contact the site directly. ??Does anyone have experience with this? How did you resolve it? ??Thanks very much, indeed. |
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A friend is having trouble getting on the site. Can't remember password and is sent on a wild goose chase when trying to request a new p/w. And there doesn't seem to be a easy to contact the site directly. ??Does anyone have experience with this? How did you resolve it? ??Thanks very much, indeed. |
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A friend is having trouble getting on the site. Can't remember password and is sent on a wild goose chase when trying to request a new p/w. And there doesn't seem to be a easy to contact the site directly.
Does anyone have experience with this? How did you resolve it?
Thanks very much, indeed. |
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I'm one lucky girl. :-) I'm glad I had the courage and strength to move to Phoenix. I loved L. A. but Phoenix is turning out to be a great choice. Yep, I'm one lucky girl. |
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I'm looking for some D/s websites. I came across enslavement.org.uk and would like others that similarly focus on the intellectual aspect of this.
If you happen to know of any, and would not mind to send me a message, I'd be very appreciative. |
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::::: heavy sad sigh :::::
I'm lonely tonight. I miss Los Angeles, my home of a quarter century, and I miss my routine there.
It's unbelievably hot here in Phoenix and I'm indoors all the time, and I've gained probably seven or eight pounds. I miss the mountains where I hiked nightly and I miss the friends I made on that hike (who I'll never see again).
I'm so lonely, and sort of scared. And I'm completely alone. |
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Has anyone else noticed that modern Country music all sounds the same? Oh, and if you are some homely fat guy or girl with talent up to the sun and back, well, just forget it! You have to look a certain way and be able to add to the cookie-cutter crap for the big record labels, or forget it!
I wonder how much true talent, and not just in this genre, we will never experience because the record labels only want what they can market to the sheeple? |
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I have Netflix on my Android phone and it constantly buffers, making watching anything impossible. If anyone has had this issue and successfully resolved it and will help me, I'd sure appreciate it. If it makes a difference, I've.got a Samsung Galaxy S-II phone.
Thanks very much! |
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It was 117 degrees here two days ago. Wow! I'm not going to say I miss L. A. because this is home now and I'm trying to emotionally and mentally settle in. But oh, do I miss those balmy nights and mild days.. |
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Why am I soooooo trusting? When will I learn? Why do I keep putting myself out there only to be trompled on again and again?! |
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I moved to Phoenix three weeks ago. It's very different here.
I'm lonely and homesick but getting on with things. |
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Idiot of the day goes to:
no one forces you to stay on collarme if you dont like what you see
-M1967Ireland |
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What's with all these "Bull Male" profile names lately? Don't they know they sound like fucking idiots??? |
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I was never into the whole BDSM club scene. I've never been to any of their events or munches or play parties or any of that stuff. It's very clique-ish and I want no part of it. I'm private about this and find it odd that people would get together and be all incestuous with each other and the whole thing was a turn off that I never participated in.
What brings me here? Well, I was born this way (submissive) but have no other source for finding a partner who is compatible. So I am on this dreadful site with all its freaks and weirdos in the hopes that there is one compatible soul and that we somehow find each other. |
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ROFL!!! Here is the one and only email I have received from "TrueSSlaveNeeded":
Know one wants a stupid slave! Know wander your alone..
Oh, my gosh, how many errors are in those two short little sentences? I could just split a side laughing at this, the very first contact from this guy! HILARIOUS! |
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Beware, ladies: "StrictAuthority" is yet another game-player. He claimed to be in Palos Verdes, CA (translation: mega wealthy suburb of Los Angeles right on the beach) and engaged me in the emails back and forth thing, then the yahoo thing, then disappeared, only to re-appear, only to then disappear yet again. So I took a look at his profile. He now claims to live in Florida. He no doubt doesn't live in California or Florida, but who knows (and who cares?)
Just beware - he's yet another game-playing loser on here who has no regard for people's emotions or time. |
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Ya ever notice how men who call themselves "Sensual" this or "Sensual" that, such as "SensualSirFromMichigan" or whatever (totally made up), that they are not Dominants, but Tops, who are afraid to overstep their woman's bounds? Afraid to hurt her? Afraid to make her serve? Afraid of their own shadows?
I've noticed that men who have "Sensual" in their user names invariably turn out to not be Dominant AT ALL, and are just seeking light kinky sex. And that's fine. But you're not for me. I want a man who is all about leading, about putting me to use, about making use of my talents and skills when and how he wishes. And - who isn't afraid of me.
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Intensityforus is another nut job. He proceeds to write several nice enough emails back and forth and all seems well enough. Then he tells me he was molested by his older brother till he was 13 and that is what "made" him a Dominant. (HUH??? How do you figure THAT??) In the same letter he tells me he would not allow his 17-year-old step-daughter to say goodbye to her dying mother/his wife and that now the 17-year-old step-daughter is angry. (Well, duh!) So when I commented back to him that I'd be angry, too, and that he deserves any anger she shows, he writes back that he is the parent and made the decision and yada, yada, yada. Then he ends his email with "You judgmental bitch."
And THIS is a Dominant? THIS is how a Dominant behaves??
Honest to gosh, the caliber of people in the world today is shocking, and the caliber of people on this site is 100 times worse than it was even five short years ago.
All I can hope is that the poor girl gets some decent mentor in life who treats her better than this substitute lame-ass parent did, and that she somehow manages to flourish in spite of her time with this jackass. |
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Did any of you watch the services for Whitney Houston yesterday? It's no wonder Bobby Brown walked out. That was no funeral. That was a reverend with an ego the size of Texas. That was a bunch of people trying to further their own careers. So little of it seemed genuine. Four hours?? Four??? Come on, people - how disrespectful of Whitney's mother and sisters and brother and daughter can you be? I watched and just kept thinking, "That poor mother. That poor daughter. They must be exhausted." It just wet on. And on. And on and on and on. And on some more. And on.
Shameful. |
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Awww, Whitney, gone already? Why, girl, why? Just cannot believe it .. You'll be missed, dear girl. |
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Craigslist.com has turned into a ridiculous opportunity for scams. I want a job. Period. I just want to work. I keep answering want ads on craigslist.com and time and again it is a scam.
If you know of another website with actual job listings, will you kindly write me and let me know? I live in Los Angeles.
Many thanks. |
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To all you out-of-town fools visiting Los Angeles, who write and think you're going to titillate me with your emails:
Yes, just what I want, to be used by some married guy so he can get a free taxi and free secretary and free hooker and free hotel. JUST what I want! Oh, please pick me! Please please please! I want the position so badly!
:::: rolls eyes :::::
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Does anyone know that quote (maybe by Ghandi) that says, basically, that just because you are the only one who speaks up, does not mean you are wrong.
If you do know that quote, or can find it for me (I tried), please send it over to me. I'd be so very thankful!
:-) o. |
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Every freaking profile on here is the same, I swear.
Looks like people put about three minutes, tops, in their profiles. And you guys wonder why you get your messages deleted unread - if I were most women (I'm not), I would delete your emails unread, too, based purely on the state of your profile.
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Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disgusting. Don't send me pics of your wiener! IT JUST GROSSES ME OUT AND MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A LOW-CLASS LOSER! |
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When I sign my journal "o," it is simply a reference to the first character of my user name here on c/m. It is NOT me trying to convey a secret message that I want to live as the girl in The Story of O. That was a very erotic read, especially since I read it when I was much, much younger, but it is not real life, and it is not what I'm seeking.
Also, the rest of my profile can be viewed under my original user name of OH2CALLYOUSir. For some reason, the profile is chopped off on this profile and so if you want to read the rest, go to my original profile of OH2CALLYOUSir. But the journal entries are complete on this profile. Course, older journal entries are on OH2CALLYOUSir. (Are you dizzy yet? It's simple, really. Go to the original profile so as to read all of my profile, since that one didn't get chopped like this one.)
~o. |
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Very down. Very, very down. Just leave me alone. |
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Another one bites the dust. Seemed I had been talking to a very nice man and suddenly he has to go and f/ it all up. People really should examine their own issues - such as why they like to engage in self-destructive behavior. Anyway, at least I won't be moving to Texas, dealing with humidity and droughts and rattlesnakes and no walls in the bathroom. (His weird design, not his kink.)
Looking back on the (many) conversations we've had, I realize he was just trying to find something, anything, for it to not work for us. Don't people realize they are NEVER going to find the PERFECT partner? You find someone with a good heart and a willingness to accept you as you are, and you should count yourself as extremely fortunate. But noooooo, instead, time and again, people will find one tiny factor and use that to say, "This will never work."
I know I sound hurt here - I'm really not, as we have not been talking long enough for me to get all that attached - I am more writing this entry so that you, the readers, can examine your own behavior and maybe not run off someone who would be a great match. Not perfect, but a great match.
Everyone is looking for their "one," when in fact, if their "eighty-three percent," or their "seventy-five percent" presents itself, they should be thrilled and do leaps of joy and get on with living life with that person. But no, let's all hold out for our "one," our "one-hundred percent," and live out our lives alone, wondering why we can't find someone.
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You know what really bugs me lately? Here the state of California can't even pay its bills, but we just keep screwing it all up. The powers that be have decided to let the taxpayers of California foot yet another unreasonable bill.
Going about my business I have noticed big banners hanging off of fast food restaurants: Now Accepting EBT! For those of you not in California, EBT stands for "Electronic Benefits Transfer." Yep, the people on welfare can now use taxpayers' money to buy milkshakes at Jack in the Box, and Big Macs at McDonald's.
A typical fast food meal at Carl's Jr. runs about $8. That includes a monster sandwich, a drink, and an order of fries. Eight dollars! Eight bucks can buy a half-gallon of milk, a pound of hamburger, a loaf of bread, and a head of lettuce. And that small bag of groceries is going to last a lot longer, and be more nutritionally sound, than that one "meal" at Carl's Jr.
Come on, California, what are you doing??? |
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Are there any computer wizards out there who could please explain something to me? I looked up a user's name on this site from the Home Page, and saw the little yellow sticky next to his name, indicating I had written in the Notes section on his profile. I clicked on "View Full Profile," and the Notes section is empty. How is it that this is occurring? I want to view the Notes section but yet can't seem to see it when I open up the full profile. Maddening!
Thanks in advance! |
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LOL .. Someone just wrote me "Happy Birthday" and I went to send him a thank you and he has me blocked. Ugh.. |
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Today it's my birthdaaaaaaay! I don't have anyone to give me any birthday spankins, though! Or even a birthday smooch!
My birthday wish is for all of you to have a lovely Sunday, and to give a little thought to those families who lost someone ten years ago today.
~ohhhh2callyouSir
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Oh, my gossssssssh. My dog just ate a paper towel that I had used to dry a piece of fish earlier tonight before cooking it. I put the paper towel in the trash and she just got into the trash and ate the paper towel! I am sort of freaking out! It's 10:42 PM and of course the only vet that is open is a 24-hour place that charges out the yin-yang.
If your dog ate paper towel before and you had a problem, please please write me. I'm not sure if this is going to develop into a problem in the middle of the night or not. Darn it! It's my fault for leaving the trash container out (it's usually under the sink inside the cupboard!) but still, this is really terrible! I hope she will be okay and tomorrow she will just have an extra large doggy poo!
Thank you in advance. |
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Does anyone have a link to a reverse phone number search that actually gives you the information without making you pay for it? I have heard there re a bunch of free ones but I've yet to come across one when I do a search on Googliness for one.
Thank you for your help! |
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submissive ladies, fucktard alert! tadosam is an idiot. he wrote me today so of course upon receit of his lame short email, i took a peek at his profile. when i replied, i politely told him that 35 is too young since in a month i'll be 47. i wished him well. he wrote back "sorry. i'm 40. can we go on? you don't look 47. can we still go on? i am interested in you." fucking asssssssssssssssssshole 1. lied about his age and 2. didn't even realize he'd never seen a picture of me and so his compliment on my appearance would not even make sense, and 3. his picture reveals he's a slob, and real Dominant men have their lives in order, including their housekeeping!. what a fucktarrrrrrrrrrrrrd!!! |
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::::::::sigh::::::::::: I'm not moving. The potential landlords and I talked it out and they accepted me and I was very happy. Then I got home and started thinking it through, as well as talking about everything with friends, and realized that if I moved there, I'd be under the microscope all the time. Forget it! I want to live and come and go as I please, and not worry about walking on eggshells.
Twenty percent of my belongings are already moved in - have been for over a week - and now I have to go get the stuff and move it back here. And I don't even know if I want to stay here.
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Unbelievably, I just received a phone call from my new landlord. He says it isn't going to work out. He says he is worried one of my massage clients will slip and fall, or otherwise get hurt, on the property, and therefore I should not move in to his guest house rental. He said he cannot tell me to not have massage clients in since that is how I make my living.
I am baffled. I mean, I've never ever had a massage client slip and fall, nor have any other trouble, and I've been a massage therapist for 11 years or so.
How is it that a homeowner can be so worried about his guest house renter having a client over, and that client falling or otherwise getting hurt? Plus, isn't making a claim against a homeowner dependent on the homeowner having been negligent? Isn't that a necessary factor? I mean, if you are walking along and just trip over your own feet, that is your problem. But if the homeowner has a loose trellis and you fall and twist your ankle, then yes, the homeowner should pay for the medical care.
If anyone has any expertise in this area, I'd sure appreciate it. One-fourth of my property is moved into this new place, and I've told my current place that I am out of here, and now this guy tells me he thinks it won't work out.
The guy's wife is all upset. And can ya blame her? She knows a good renter when she sees one. The three of us are meeting tomorrow to talk it out. And I don't know whether to bring another carload of my stuff with me, or to empty out the car so I can bring what is over there back here with me.
I feel so low right now. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy is life in Los Angeles so crappy so much of the time???
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Moving day again. Looks like this place isn't going to work out. Been here three months and one week. Ugh.. Not even 100% unpacked and now get to turn around and do it all again. Unbelievable, but this is life sometimes.
You know, an ex-Domly one lives on the very next street from where I'm going to be moving. What a shock, when I answered the ad for the rental, and the lady gave me the address. I hesitated to move there because if and when he finds out, I don't want him to think I am moving there because I'd be close to him. (It's simply not the case. I looked at at least 15 rentals and this was by far the best match and plus, the owner CHOSE me of all the zillion people who came over to check out her rental - how cool is that!? We did hit it off - she is way cool and we even have the same first name.)
Anyway, if you live in Los Angeles and would like to help me move, hahaha, cuz you want to earn good karma points with the powers-that-be, then please contact me. If nothing else, you'll get a good friend and a good meal and who knows what else. (Wait, that sounds not like I meant it to!)
Wish me well, all.
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Interesting bit of trivia: George Washington's dogs (in 1793) were named Sweet Lips, Drunkard, and Tipsy. I love that he came up with such great names!
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Ugh! I HATE when people list "no children" as a limit! Well DUH! Like we're all pedophiles! Why the fuck do we have to mention "no children"? Shall we also mention "no bank robbery, no murdering, no car thieving, no knocking people over in their wheelchairs at Wal-Mart, no throwing donuts at passing policemen on the freeway," too? I mean, come on!! We're not pedophiles! Who the fuck came up with this rampant nonsense of mentioning "Oh, I don't want to fuck a kid." I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DRIVES ME INSANE.
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I need work. If you have ANY work you need done, or a job for me, please contact me. I'm in Los Angeles in the San Fernando Valley.
Thank you. |
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I called a client I haven't seen in a while last night. He said that he's fine, and so on, and then, out of the blue, I asked, "So, are you still in LA?" He replied that no, he was not, and that he moved from LA about one month ago. Why I got the idea he was not in LA, I don't know.
Turns out he got fed up with the crazy people here in LA, and got fed up with the bimbos thinking their doo-doo doesn't stink, and got sick of the illegal aliens that are just everrrrywhere and now this liberal state is just fine with it, and got sick of the people being mean to each other and intolerant and rotten. So, he moved.
He lucked out, though. He had a friend in Phoenix who had a place for him to live and who was hiring so he got a job, a place to live, and got the hell out of Los Angeles all at once.
I must say I am envious, but very happy for him. He and I used to lament on how we are each too sensitive for this town, and how we both always were feeling psychically (not physically!) beaten up by the mean people in this town. He got out, though, so good for him. I really am glad for him, as he is a nice man, kind-hearted, and deserves happiness and fulfillment in his later years (he's 62) and to be free of a town that he found distasteful.
Ahh, life. Indeed. |
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Some guy emailed me this morning. Surprisingly, it was more than the usual "Hi.got pic?" kind of lame-ass crap that one usually receives on here. So I replied back. He immediately invited me to talk on yahoo. I met him on yahoo and it turns out he was just a time-waster. It was completely "so what ya up to?" and "how are you?" and "how's things?" kind of BULLSHIT for 20 fucking minutes. I finally had had enough and told him that he's been wasting my time for 20 min and hasn't been able to get the conversation off the ground and I don't know one thing about him that I didn't 20 min ago and I wished him well. His Domly response? "ok." O. M. G.
And people wonder why they are alone.......... |
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In honor of my mom, today I decided to make an English trifle . (She was English and died this day 13 years ago.) Well, I have made probably 35 trifles in my time and today, the damned thing went wonky! (Say that last part in a thick Liverpudlian accent, if you please!)
I put the sherry-sprinkled pound cake slices in the bottom of the trifle bowl and poured the red Jell-O over top and for the first time in 35 trifles, the cake floated to the top of the still liquid Jell-O! What did I do wrong? Ya can't have floating pound cake! It is supposed to behave itself peacefully at the bottom of the bowl and stay put!
If anyone happens to know what the heck the deal is with floating pound cake in the first steps of preparing an English trifle, will you please let me know? I'd be most appreciative!
And Mom, if this is your idea of a practical joke, I liked the lawn mower one much better! :::laughs:::
Miss you Mom, more than you can know.
xoxoxox |
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wow, once again I have been accused of being a racist because of my Joe/Jose journal entry.
i don't feel like getting into it over the illegals-invading-the-country issue. if you want to stick your head in the sand and pretend they are just here for a better life and we Americans therefore have to put up with them, then fine, go on and do that, but don't think for one moment you won't regret not standing up and shouting from the rooftops that this is all bullshit.
it may take a week or a decade or more, but you one day will find it out - and most likely, the hard way. (i, too, had your view, some 20 years ago, that gee, they are poor people who at great peril came to this country just to make a better life for themselves. then i opened my eyes and stopped worrying about people calling me a racist. i'm not a racist - i don't care one wit about their skin color - i DO care about their behavior and their attitude of "This was our land and you whiteys stole it - now you OWE ME BIG and i'm gonna take, take, take." again, if you think i am wrong, just mark my words - you, too, will be saying them one day after you wake up.)
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It's just exhausting, isn't it? The reading of emails, most of which are written as if by a drunk third-grader, and take many re-readings to figure out what the writer is trying to convey; the subsequent reading of profiles - most of which say nothing, or virtually nothing - of the sender of the incomprehensible emails; the answering of the emails so as to not be rude to someone who showed interest; the deleting of emails received and sent after several back-n-forths with said ding-dong; and at the end of it all? Nothing. It's just a big fat waste of time, because people don't frigging READ. They live in drive-throughs and when they do eat at home, they don't do their own dishes, instead opting for paper plates and plastic cutlery. They want everything right away, without even slowing down and actually READING what is written. And the result? They not only waste the recipient's time but they waste their own time because of their own incompetence and laziness.
Slow down, people! Read what people write in their profiles and journals. The information is there for a reason! The information is an OPPORTUNITY for you to learn a little about the person who wrote the words, and find out if you may or may NOT be a fit to that person. You can find out whether or not to pursue the person. Course, then you'd have to actually take the time to read about the person, and that would be so much more work than just shooting off a nonsensical email written as if by a drunk third-grader.
:-P |
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One of my little jobs I have to make ends meet is I tutor children in math. Tonight I met with a kid, age 16, at the local McDonald's. We sat outside since the weather was nice.
I bought two sodas and we settled in for the 90-minute session. He has a big test coming up and he's nervous so we spent extra time tonight and I believe he'll be fine.
I went back inside after the session was done, smiled at the lone cashier (dressed in a manager's blue shirt), picked up a water cup, and went to the fountain to refill my soda and get a small cup of water. Nothing worked. So I went up to the counter to ask the guy to give me some water.
He says to me, "You can go get water but don't take any soda!" Huh? WTF? I looked at him like he'd just sprouted a second head and was speaking in tongues, and said, "Pardon? I can't have more soda but I can take water? But why?" He says, "I saw you! I saw you try to take soda!!!" He had fire in his eyes like I had tried to steal his damn first-born or something. Me, I was completely confused. Yes, I did try to take soda. So what? It isn't working, and that's fine, but I would definitely like some water. Can you please get me some water from back there?
"You can get your own water," comes the nasty reply. I told him, again, "But it's turned off! It isn't working! Nothing is working - no soda, no water, nothing!" He says, "I turned it on. You can get water but no soda."
W.
T.
F.
WTF is going on with McDonald's? You can spend $1.39 on a 16-ounce cup of soda (probably costs them less than a penny, but whatever), but you can't get more if you sit outside for 90 minutes?? Since when???? He refuses to discuss it, and just barks at me that I "better not try to take soda, or he'll call the police on me for stealing."
WTF! W. T. F.
So I fill my little water cup with water, fill my soda cup with iced tea (take that, Fucktard!), and leave. I drop the cup of iced tea into the nearest trash can once outside, because I really just wanted about 1/2 an inch of Diet Dr. Pepper. (Love that stuff - but it's probably bad for ya! But I had it in my mind, "Oh, I'm still here, I'll grab a little more just to satisfy that sweet tooth for Diet Dr. Pepper I have.." WRONG! Mr. Manager there wouldn't LET me have more soda! Cuz I sat outsiiiiiiiiide and it had been more than 30 minutes!)
Now, the irony, of course, is that I was at McDonald's last week with a different kid, and she wanted to sit inside. We sat inside and I tutored her, and while she worked on problems, I people-watched. Guess what? The illegal aliens, and Mr Manager has a distinctive, South-of-the-Border Accent, one after another, they would get a water cup and fill it with soda. The white taxpayers, they bought their damn sodas, and didn't STEAL by asking for a water cup and then using it for soda!
But I'm threatened with having the police called if I take soda instead of just water.
Seriously, what the hell has the world come to??? And if any of you are wondering, this occurred in Studio City, CA, a very nice, ritzy part of Los Angeles, so for them to not let you have a damn refill if you don't do it within 30 minutes does not even make sense to me - how much free refilling after the fact can really be going on that they have to turn off the soda machines from behind the counter, and get all Rambo in your face if you want more soda and it's been more than 30 minutes?
Oh, I'm so angry and disgusted.
Edited to say: After receiving several "Oh, you are a RACIST!" kind of emails, I am adding in that I am NOT a racist and indeed have friends of many colors and religions and beliefs. I did not say that ALL the illegal aliens stole their soda - just that of the people stealing soda that I noticed last week, the VAST MAJORITY were illegals. And I did not say that NO white people from the ritzy neighborhood stole soda - I said that the VAST MAJORITY of them PURCHASED A SODA.
Sheesh, people! How come this world has become sooooooooooo PC that if you dare spell out what is occurring EVERY DAY right in front of you, that that means, somehow, that you are a RACIST and you must hate everyone who isn't a cookie-cutter copy of yourself? What has happened to this world we live in? Wowza.. |
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If you use the term "vanilla side" in your profile or in your thought process, it shows you do not have a deep understanding of what D/s is, and you are just looking for kinky sex. And if you use that term, and think that way, then you and I are not a match. So if I view your profile and you say "I am a Dominant and I want someone who is compatible with me and who I can get along with in my vanilla side of my life," then I will not be responding to you, because it shows me you don't get it.
I expect most of you who read this journal entry won't even understand, and won't bother to find out, and that is fine. Go find your kink and get yourself a nice orgasm and a nice STI and have yourself a nice weekend in a hotel room away from wifey.
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Legal vs Illegal Immigration
JOE LEGAL vs. JOSE ILLEGAL
You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal". Both families have two parents, two children, and live in Arizona .
Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.
Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".
Ready? Now pay attention...
Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has $31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.
Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631.00.
Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.
Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.
Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school.Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home. Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay. Do you get it, now? If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegal aliens... You are part of the problem! It's way PAST time to take a stand for America and Americans!
What are you waiting for? Pass this on..!! |
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I'm just really really really down. My new place, though overall good, is not great. The landlords are liars (gee, shocking!) and also, they are letting the only asshole other tenant there move in right next to me. They are going to chop up the huge yard (the main reason I took the place) and the guy has four huge dogs, two of which he keeps locked in a cage (yes, two dogs in one cage) all day.
As sensitive as I am, I just don't think I can stand to look at two beautiful healthy dogs locked in a cage all day. I really do not think my soul or heart can take that. And why am I paying all that money so they can cut the yard up and make it smaller with a fence?
This is bullshit. I'm so sick of people lately, and I hate L. A. more and more with each passing moment.
::::::: more tears ::::::::: |
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Some sad news occurred here in So Cal today. Two motorcycle officers were escorting a funeral procession when they got into an accident with oncoming traffic on a major and busy street. One of the two has since died, leaving behind a wife and two sons, ages 7 and 12.
I always feel extra saddened when I hear of the death of a police officer while on duty. They are doing their job, a job which most of us would be too afraid to do, and they are in danger in some manner or another all the time. And here are these two, doing their jobs, and likely doing their jobs well, and now one of them has died, and the other lies in "very critical" condition in a hospital. And the irony is that the two officers were escorting the funeral of a police officer who had died of cancer.
Sad, sad day today. May he rest in peace, and may his family somehow get through this. |
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Oh, my gosh!! I wish I could un-see some of these pictures! Do you ever sign on and see a picture from someone's profile that is so disturbing that you wish you could unsee it???? This keeps happening to meeeeeeeeeeee!
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wow.. this guy named DementedSoul1 wrote to me - his first email, in its entirety, said "what do you weight?" (and that does not even make sense.)
i wrote back that i "weight" less than he and more than a newborn infant.
he wrote back "bye cow" ....... lovely, eh?
yet he purports to be a Dominant - a man of class, intgrity, and HONOR.. yet he talks to me like that ... lovely people on c/m lately.
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Got into an accident yesterday. I was backing out of a parking spot, had hit the brakes and changed gears from R to D, and BAMMMMMM, a woman backed her car HARD into mine. Our back bumpers met and just like that, I am now dealing with all kinds of crap.
She immediately admitted fault and countless times after, as well, but wants me to not call the insurance company. She wants me to take my car to "her guy" who "does all the industry cars" (for those of you not in La - La - Land, that means the movie/tv industry) and I just don't know. If I don't call the insurance company, then I might get screwed as far as getting my car in good order again but if I do call the insurance company, maybe they will say that it is my fault (it really really was not) and raise my rates. Or - worse yet - maybe they'll raise my rate anyway, even if it was not my fault, just for making a claim!
I don't know how long I have to make the decision as to whether to call the insurance company or not. I also don't know if I do call them, if I am obligated to go through with making a claim.
I wish I had a Domly One to help me with this matter. :-( I'm not good at deciding what I want for dinner when presented with a menu at a restaurant, and now I have to make all these decisions.
::sigh ::: |
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If you have a background or any experience in marketing, and would not mind a quick question, please contact me. Thank you.
~ohhhh2callyouSir |
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Well, I did it! Eighteen trips in my car and one small truck with the fridge, bed, dressers, armoire, and couches, and I'm here. I have to say, I'm proud of myself. Not one person lifted a finger to help me - I did it all by myself - and the only people who helped me are the three guys who I PAID to help me move my fridge and other large items.
Really, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with people today. No one likes to ask for help, and when I did, no one was there for me. I sometimes feel like I am the last nice person in the world - I mean, I know helping someone move sucks - it is a real drag - but we ALL need help sometimes so why be that way? Why say you'll be here then not be, or why just flat out make up a lie? ("I have to work" was the common one - two people came up with that - I checked up on them, though, and they didn't work 24/7 the past five days. Guess they just are not giving people, just out for themselves, just not into being kind to others.)
Anyway, I don't want this to turn into a bitchfest about how people suck, but instead want to say I am thrilled to be out of the nuthouse and away from those crazy people and am settling in to my new place. And no, the new place is not perfect, but it is away from those negative, rancid, untrustworthy, unkind people. And for that I am feeling peace like I have not in two-and-one-half years. |
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I am in the process of moving and I am being tormented by the thoughts that these assholes that I rent from are going to keep my deposit. I'm overly tired, doing all this by myself, and overly stressed. Oh, and I'm not sleeping well because my bed is in the old place so I'm using a sleeping bag on the floor of the new place and it's not physically comfortable plus I'm psychologically tormented so my sleep has been crappy at best. And now I've come down with a rotten cold and feel just awful.
But still I do the right thing and clean everything and leave it better than when I got there. And yet I KNOW they are going to keep my deposit. It makes me sick that I'm going to be fucked yet again by a greedy rich landlord and that I, with my good character, still do the right thing and trudge through the drudgery of cleaning a place so that it sparkles even though when I moved in it was filthy, and I don't have the TIME to do all this work, and I'm so fucking exhausted that I burst into tears at any little problem in life now. (But I won't cry in front of them! Nope!)
I'm so tired, and so distressed psychologically, and so miserable right now. I wish I had an easier, or at least fair, life. But this is my life now. Why can't it all just be over?
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Damn it! I'm moving and I'm so incredibly tired and I was unloading my car and fell backward and fell on my wrist and forearm of my left arm. Owwwwwwww!!! Hurts a lot!!
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I am nervous lately! Wish I was in service to a good man so I didn't have to make all these pesky decisions, which really wears me out!
Hoping everyone is well!
Nighty night,
o. |
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Ah, well, another one bites the dust. I love when I put myself out there, naked, in my journal entries for the past four or five years now, and then am crucified for the content. His point, if I understood, was that I am at fault for the men who approach me on here who then treat me cruelly.
I don't see how the fuck that is possible, since each and every one of us is responsible for our own actions, but if I understood him correctly, that is what he was saying, that it is something about me that makes these men pull the crap they pull (lie about who they are, such as being married/involved; suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere stop taking my phone calls, block my mail, and delete their c/m account, in spite of having a history of 10 days or 30 days of daily phone calls and us being on track to meet; pretend to be something they are not because they need something from me; change user names and then contact me again pretending to be someone else so that they can get a second chance when I've already said we are not a match - same crap that happens to everyone on here).
I was so hurt and angry by his ridiculous accusation (we were on the phone) that I told him that he does not understand me at all, and I have to go, then I hung up the phone. The next time we talked, he told me that I said he's a jerk/liar (I forget the exact word) when I had hung up on him, when in fact all I said was that he doesn't understand me at all and that I have to go.
Looking back, I would have to say he's insecure. We only talked the first phone call about 20 minutes and the whole time it was "Oh, I met Janis Joplin when I was 17. She was so drunk. She was 28 but I could see she wanted me." And then "I was supposed to tour with The Grateful Dead but then they let this other guy join because that guy knew so-and-so but otherwise it would have been me up on the stage all these years." Blah, blah, blah. Umm, no one talks like that in the fist conversation, even if what they are saying is true. You let that stuff out over time, naturally, not in a name-dropping barf-o-rama the first 20 minutes you talk to someone whose trust you are trying to gain.
You know, some of you men out there might want to work on your listening skills and your style in general. In the meanwhile I am going to try realllllllllllly hard to not become a jaded bitch. |
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What a great email to receive:
I read your profile and you sound very much like a sane sub who attracts some pretty weird types.
Sometimes I think it is I who is out of step with the rest of the marching band. It's nice to get an email telling me what I sometimes wonder if I am wrong about.
Be well, everyone, and good luck in your searches.
~ohhhh2callyouSir |
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I had a first date the other night. He and I met while we were both hanging out at a coffee shop one day. He walked past my dogs just as I was going out to check on them (they were in my car waiting on me) so he and I struck up a conversation.
He was charming and sweet and kind, and we exchanged dog stories. He had had a dog that is now in doggy heaven and I can tell he loved that dog so much. We talked for about 10 minutes and then he asked me for my number.
Normally I would not go for a man who was not claiming Dominance, either via this website or a D/s-oriented message board or something, right? But this guy gave off the Dominant Vibe (lol) and I decided "What the heck..I'll give him a shot."
He called a few days later and asked me to meet him back at the coffee shop a few days hence. We decided we'd go for coffee and if we felt like it, we'd proceed on to dinner, and if we felt like it, we'd go on to a movie. So that is what happened. We had coffee and a really great conversation (though I felt a little grilled, but whatever, maybe he was a bit nervous).
During our conversation he talked about how he belongs to a couple of dating sites, but all the women want who are in L. A. is a man who is tall, well-muscled, owns a nice house, has at least one, preferably two, nice cars, and who make a lot of money. So he said the dating services have taken him for thousands of dollars, all combined, and he's had not one relationship come of it, because every girl on there starts grilling him immediately about what he drives and what he does for work (he's a teacher at a corrections facility - yes, a prison) and what he looks like and so on. Anyway, we had a really great conversation and then left to go to dinner.
I prefer funky holes-in-the-wall but he chose the ever-popular, very predictable, white-bread The Cheesecake Factory, so off we go to The Cheesecake Factory. Umm, isn't chicken and biscuits with peas, carrots, and mushrooms supposed to come with chicken? The description said this meal is basically like a taken-apart pot pie - the flaky crust comes in biscuit shape and the gravy, peas, mushrooms, carrots, and chicken breast come atop a mound of mashed potato. Great, says I! And then it comes and no breast of chicken. I told my date, who did nothing about it. Uh oh! Not a good sign!
We go to the movie - saw "The Lincoln Lawyer" and it was super good. But be forewarned - if you're not a lawyer, pay close attention or something might slip by at 107mph.
On the way home, he tells me, "Hey, remember that guy who said hi to me when we were in the coffee shop? Well I know him from AA. We both go to that meeting on such-n-such street in such-n-such city." Ummm, what the!??? Did you not know why they call it Alcoholics Anonymous??? Anyway, uh oh, not a good sign! And so he then proceeds to tell me that he has no drinking problem and never has, but he likes AA and thinks it is interesting. WHAT? Uh oh, not a good sign!
I said something like, "Oh, ok," and he proceeded on. He's in therapy, and his therapist recommended AA - not because he has or ever had a drinking problem, but because she thinks it's a good organization and that it will stimulate him. Uh oh - not a good sign! Umm, Mr Man, how's about you stand up to your therapist and tell her it's her job to help you work out whatever it is you are there for, and to stop pawning you off to AA! Further, he said how f'ed up the people in that organization are, how f'ed up the things AA-ers believe in are, and how f'ed up their basic tenets/beliefs are! But hey, he's going back on Tuesday!! Uh oh! Not a good sign!
When he dropped me off at my car back at the coffee shop, he said how much fun he had and gosh, maybe we can do something this upcoming weekend. Or, no, no, let's do something, have dinner, during the week! He'll call me and he can't wait to see me again. Oh, and all he did was talk about how beautiful I am! I am just regular, but the guy went on and on.
Obviously I'm not going out with this man again. I had to write about it because it was an odd date, to say the least. And it's too bad, too, because he was a nice, sweet man.
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Life is not fair. :-) I'm in a coffee shop right now sipping my Perrier and longing for lunch. Across the room from me is the thinnest man ever, munching on a GIANT brownie with whipped cream, and a bottle of orange juice. Oh, and he's waiting on his Chinese take-out order to arrive! Arrgh! In my next life, I want THAT metabolism! :-) |
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Ahhhhhh, the lovely and classy Elizabeth Taylor has passed away. She passed today, 3/23, at about 1:30 AM. I had no idea, and having gotten up late, ran like a mad woman to get my morning routine done in half the amount of time I usually do.
I fed the animals and threw on my clothes and makeup, grabbed my coffee and the lunch I'd made last night, and out the door I went to work.
It was a short day today. Bossman just didn't have much for me to do. So after a couple of hours he sent me home.
I decided I'd pop into Wal-Mart since I was at that end of town. (I hate hate HATE Wal-Mart, but I'm poor, so I do shop there once every few months for maybe $30 worth of items.) I browsed the casual, hang-out-at-home clothes and looked through the cleaning supplies aisles. Nothing. Then, inexplicably, I wandered over to the cosmetics/toiletries aisles. I didn't need anything from there, so why I went there is beyond me. But there I was.
Next thing you know, I decide I'm going to splurge on some perfume. You know, I've been a licensed massage therapist for over ten years and I stopped wearing perfumes way back then because clients just don't like you to wear it. (I don't blame them.) Anyway, I glanced over the perfumes and after looking them over, quickly chose a box of Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds.
I have never worn her fragrance before. I have never even tried her perfume line. But inexplicably, I chose the box and made my purchase and left the store, buying nothing else. And I'm not an impulsive person, by the way.
It was on my way home, after leaving Wal-Mart, with my White Diamonds on the passenger seat, that I heard of her death. How do you explain this? I know, all the scientists out there (me included) will say "It's a coincidence." Yet those folks more in touch with the more out-there-ness of the universe (also me included, lol) will say, "Hmmmm...."
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I really wish there was a way to turn the movie type ads on this site off. They gross me out. I don't want to see some chick with a ball gag in her mouth drooling, though I do realize that some of the men on this site immediately start wanking upon sight of that ad. But still, it makes me queasy, nauseous, sick in the tum-tum, and I'd really prefer to not view that ad (as well as the others) at all.
Bleh. |
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You know, it has happened again. I have been chatting with a seemingly nice, normal man via email on c/m for the past week or two, and noticed he read but did not reply to my email from yesterday. So I opened his most recent mail to me and there it was: You cannot reply to this message because the account no longer exists.
Why do people do this to each other? Why not just say something like, "It has been really nice getting to know you, but in the course of emailing back and forth, it would seem we are not a good fit after all, and I wish you well." Why not just say something like THAT? Instead, these so-called Dominants act like little pussies and simply delete their account and open up a new account, only to do it all again to the next girl.
You men on here profess to be Dominant. Well, Dominants are HONORABLE, and TRUSTWORTHY, and GOOD. They don't hide and run like little babies when they decide to not proceed. So where ever you are tonight, Shawn01, kindly go fuck yourself - you are not a Dominant man and should just simply join match.com or wimpyboysforyou.com or something of that sort.
I wish everyone good luck on here. The waters are cold and treacherous and shifty, and we all deserve good luck and happiness. |
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I rent from crazy people. I can't take it anymore. I really feel like they are insane and are trying to harass me within the parameters of the law. I reallllllllllllly cannot take it anymore!!!
I wish I could be a cunt like these people. But I'm nice, and kind, and loving, and my reward is shit and more shit and more shit. I cannot take it anymore. I really cannot take it anymore.
Another sleepless night lies ahead for me. I can feel it. It's not fair. |
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Please take a moment and play this video. It is extremely touching.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/02/28/eveningnews/main20037484.shtml |
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I want to become a dog-walker. I want to do this professionally. If you are a dog-walker, or use a dog-walker, and have a moment, please write me with suggestions. Much appreciated! |
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The latest: Ok, so I emailed back and forth with some guy from c/m. His English is atrocious and his grammar is horrific, but whatever, against my better judgment I talked with him. Then he offers that we talk on the phone. So I call him and we have a nice enough conversation for about 10-ish minutes. He then asks me if I grew up in CA and if not, where did I grow up and how did I end up in CA. I answer him, then ask him the same questions.
This buffoon then proceeds to tell me that he grew up in the south of France and moved here 25 years ago at the age of 18. I find this very very odd, since the idiot doesn't have a French accent in the slightest and since his English is soooooooooo bad. (Usually people who are bilingual have decent English. This guy's English is truly atrocious, and NOT in the English is the second language way, by the way.) So I call him on it. I gently tell him that I'd love to hear some French.
Dorkbutt proceeds to say to me, "Parlez-vous Francaise?" and then continues MUTTERING in a low voice, as if I am supposed to believe that he is speaking French. I tell him that he isn't speaking French and gee, it sure is suspicious, and why would he even lie about such an idiotic thing? He says, "Well I left France at age 18 and I don't remember French anymore!!!" OMG, did I hear him correctly???? Then he continues, "And if you don't believe me that I grew up in the south of France and am bilingual then you should not even be speaking to me!!" So I hung up the phone.
The next morning I get up to an email from him - a tirade - full of F-bombs and all sorts of loveliness and he is livid that I actually had the gall to hang up on him. Well, golly! Umm, why would I speak to a man who is supposed to be HONORABLE, and Dominant, who I've caught in a major lie??? So I write him back that he blew it - that he seemed like a nice enough man on the phone but he blew it with me when he claimed to have grown up in France and only got to the USA 25 years ago. He admits to having lied and then says that he wanted to "test me" and see if I was paying attention.
You know, really, I think I'm going to end up alone, spending my time with my animals and my vegetable garden (don't take that the wrong way, you perverts) and just live out my days alone. This place is the only source I have for finding (or more likely being found by) a Dominant Man, and look at the GARBAGE that presents itself as having been in the lifestyle over 20 years and such a great catch and not even 15 minutes into the conversation, he lays out a big fat lie. Unbelievable - but like I said, I'll bet I end up living out my life alone - which is much better than settling for the dregs of society that ends up on this website, that's for sure.
Happy Weekend, Aall.
~ohhhh2callyouSir. |
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I think I am about to receive a "Thanks for all the tens of thousands of dollars over the past two-and-a-half years, now kindly get out" notice from my landlord. I've been looking for a new place to live anyway for some time now, so it really is no big thing to be asked to move along.
However, I haven't moved yet because of the fifteen or so places I have seen in the past two or three months that I've been looking, I haven't found a suitable place. Either the place is a dump and they want a lot of $$ for it, or the place is nice but in a shitty neighborhood, or the place is ok but looks like it isn't up to code (and who wants to worry that your house is going to burn down while you're at work during the day, and all your worldly possessions and your dogs get burned up?), or the place is ok but the person who owns it (and who I'd be renting from) is clearly a nut job (and I don't want to move from one nut job to another, thank you).
I'm in a panic. I can just see me living in my car because I cannot find a place in 30 days. This isn't fair - I've been an awesome, helpful, conscientious tenant, always paying in full and on time, but I heard the landlady showing the outside of my place to her friend from work. I heard her say the exact same "selling points" to this lady that she said to me when I came to look at the place for the first time.
What's going to happen to me? I'm terrified. |
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Was contacted tonight by a Dominant/submissive couple, wanting a third. I politely declined and wished them well, and thought that would be that. However, the gentleman wrote me back to thank me for replying. Wow! Is that what this place has come to, that people write to thank someone for replying to an email? Such a sad reflection on the lack of manners around here. Anyway, I thought a small portion of our back-and-forth might be worth reading. He was especially eloquent in his last reply. Please take a moment and check this out - first me, then him:
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Indeed, I have noticed the same unfortunate thing. And what is especially sad is that these women claim to be submissive - all about serving another - yet they can't so much as type out a quick 20-second note.
You know what I've noticed from the men? They, once they are no longer interested, they instead of TELLING me that, like a REAL man, they simply stop opening my mail. They'll come on the site and simply not open the mail. This has happened a hundred times over the past year - it's the new thing, I guess. And it's ridiculous - I mean, a Dominant Man who cannot simply tell a woman he isn't interested in continuing is not a Dominant Man - that is a pussy and it makes me wretch that they are so rampant on this site doing damage left and right to the new-to-the-lifestyle women.
Anyway, good luck to you both. :-) Thanks again.
o.
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I concur. But I resist the temptation to let it get to me. There are enough honest, kind, sensitive and sensible people in the crowd to make it worthwhile dealing with those who merely aggravate. It pains me to think of how they might be scaring away the newbies, as you mentioned. But there is no solution except to make a positive presence of your own. Plant your flag and wave it proudly: Civility matters! Maybe here more than most places. Our positive attitudes will lift the tide of sinking humanity. Well, it worked in Egypt....
Ciao...
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Some friends just got back from a vacation in South Carolina. They said it was beautiful and the people were nice and that they had a wonderful time. It makes me want to move to South Carolina. Plus, I have a thing for a man with a southern twang. ;-)
Hoping everyone is enjoying their weekend. |
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By the way, do you happen to watch "NIGHTLINE" on ABC? Last night they had a segment on "aisle hogs." It is open seating during the State of the Union speeches, and certain people, year after year, camp out ahead of time so they get the aisle seats and can be seen on camera by the constituents back home, thereby giving the appearance that they are in with the President. It was an interesting segment. |
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Does anyone know how to make a new user name on AOL? I did go to my master user name and thought that there would be some sort of "create new user name" button but didn't see one. Anyone? Please? Thank you!
On another note: I was at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf tonight using their Internet connection and my own laptop and guess what? I was denied access to collarme because of "nudity and pornography." WTF? I am incensed that a coffee shop would deny you access to any site you want to go on if you are using YOUR OWN computer. What a world. Anyway, dear Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, I want my $3.85 back.
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Why, oh why do young boys (YES - BOYS!!!) in their 20s write me everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry freaking day??????? I have NO interest in you guys, so FORGET ABOUT WRITING ME!
You boys in your 20s are simply young kids exploring your sexuality and likely have profiles on here as Dominant, submissive, and anything else that is offered. You are playing the numbers game - write a zillion females that are living local to you, and hope for the best.
Well, you're WASTING YOUR TIME! I have zero interest in young boys in their 20s with their hard dicks and their puppy dog eyes! Go away! Find a girl in her 20s and have a good time! Wear a rubber, though! You don't need to be doling out half your paycheck because you wanted an orgasm! (And yes, in my day, they were called "rubbers," not "condoms," which is so medical-sounding to anyone over age 40.)
Please, little boys, go away. I am 46 years old and interested ONLY in men over age 39, and even that is pushing it.
Sweetly,
o. |
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You know, President Obama wears an American flag lapel pin every day. Why does he do this? I don't think you have to wear a lapel pin every day in order to prove patriotism.
Them's just my thoughts for the day. |
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It seems there are very little lifestylers anymore. Even the word "lifestyle" bristles many. (Try saying it in a chat room some time - you get all but lynched.) Although I always knew what I was - a female who wants to be in a Male-led world - I have not been aware of D/s for all that long - about 14 years or so - but I've seen massive changes in that short time.
Now it seems any horny dufus can get on here and proclaim themselves a Dominant or submissive or whatever the hell else they want to say, and if you DARE call them on their crap, you are the one who is deemed the one in the wrong. I mean, heaven forbid we call a hammer a hammer and not an apple, you know? But that is the world this place has become. "I'm a Dominant! Now suck my dick and look the other way while I steal from my boss, wrangle the legal system so I don't get called on my crap, and starve my horses for three days!"
"No, you're not a Dominant. You're a bully who has learned to abuse the system as well as people who stand in your way of sexual gratification, a paycheck, a free meal, or anything else you desire at the moment. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Oh, says you! What the hell do you know! You can say what you like but I'm a Dominant! Yes, I am! And I'm a good man, too! I have a 'Department of Defense' sticker on my car! Not just anyone can get a DOD sticker on their car, you know! So what do YOU know!?"
Seriously, this is the type of conversation I have with many of the men on here. Frickin' scary world we live in. |
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So, I recently figured out something a bit quirky about myself. I don't like people going into my fridge. A fridge is a very personal item, you know. People can look in there and make snap judgements about you, and yet smile and never say a word, all the while thinking things like, "Wow, she sure has a lot of food! She is only one person and her fridge is jam-packed!" Nevermind that I eat 99% of my meals at home, in an attempt to keep extra calories, salt, chemicals, food colorings, and the like at a minimum. Nevermind that I cook for friends about once/week. Nevermind that I enjoy making healthy, delicious food for my dogs. (If you were a dog, would you want to eat the same boring kibble every day? Oh, and have you smelled the canned stuff? Gross! Were I a dog, I'd want homemade, nutrient-packed food, prepared by my person, over that boring kibble or foul-smelling canned stuff. Hey, it's the least I can do for my dogs - they give so much love every day, are never mean to me, always have doggy smiles on their faces when I get home from a hard day, and I figure it's the least I can do.)
Or, they might think, "Wow, she eats that??? Eww, yuck! Who would ever eat kimchi!?" Or, say, brussel sprouts, or hot fudge sauce, or plain yogurt. You just never know what someone might see in your fridge and be secretly thinking, "EWWW!"
Your good friend might open your fridge, and wonder to herself, "Golly, why does she have so many eggs!? Who could eat that many eggs in a lifetime???" Never mind that eggs are relatively inexpensive, a great, low-fat and high-protein food, and supply awesome B-vitamins that aren't present in many other sources. Plus, they are easy to cook! Or not cook! (Hey, you remember that I prepare my dogs' food, right!?)
You know, someone might take a peek into my fridge, innocently looking for a can of Coca-Cola, and instead find bottles of water, a big bowl of salad covered in Saran Wrap ready to be picked at at the first sign of hunger, a pitcher of juice watered down by 90%, a plate of roast chicken wings, a packet of raosted almonds. (Try the juice thing! You'll save oodles of calories and won't be all wonked out from all that sugar making you get a blood sugar drop 20 minutes after you drank the full-strength stuff! Start small - water it down by only 10% and you'll barely notice the diff! Soon you won't be able to drink full-strength anymore as it will taste like syrup. Your health, specifically your insulin-producing pancreas, will thank you for it!) They might incorrectly think, "Wow, she eats weird food!" but smile at you, and then when they leave, dash over to IHOP or Carl's Jr. or Hardee's.
You never know what someone is thinking when they look in your fridge. So please, if you come to my house, know that I am a little sensitive about people going into my fridge unsupervised. ::sweet smile::: |
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Hello,
I really wish there was a way for this website to prevent people from blocking you if they have emailed you within the last 24 hours. I mean, how immature is it to send a hateful, nasty email and then block the person from being able to respond? That is childish and quite ridiculous, but so typical on here. Anyway, I wish there was a way that when they went to block you, the block would not go through if they have recently emailed you.
o. |
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I rent from Satan. Did you all know that Satan is a 65-year-old divorced woman who married an American soldier at 17 so as to get the hell out of Nam? Anyway, I rent from Satan and Satan is an old lady living in Los Angeles, bitter, mean as a pissed off snake, and just miserable as can be.
I wish I were a lower kind of person. I'd dearly love to take revenge and do mean awful things to her just to make her life hell. But unfortunately for me, I'm not that kind of person. I am kind, and sweet, and giving, and generous, and forgiving, and not a grudge-holder. And how I wish I was not - how I wish I was a bitch, and mean as a pissed off snake, and that I could seek revenge and do horrible things to this woman. But I am just not that kind of person.
Merry Christmas, even to you Scrooges out there.
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It disturbs me that men in their 60s would even talk with an 18-year-old on this site (or in real life, frankly). I mean, if you are in your 60s and you are approached by a young girl, don't you say to yourself, "Well, she sure is pretty but there is no commonality between us," or, "Well, she sure is pretty but if she is interested in a man in his 60s then the poor thing obviously has Daddy issues and needs help from a shrink, bless her." Don't you say something like that??? Do you really say "Oh, come on up to my house. Move in with me. Let me pay your way in life and pay for your schooling and pay for your fun with your friends, and by the way, mind to suck my cock for a minute? But sure, here's thousands of dollars so you can go fuck around and do whatever you want, but let's pretend this is a D/s relationship. Oh, you're moving out? Oh, you've met a man you want to marry? Oh, he's three years older than you? Golly! What happened? I thought I had me a submissive little slave girl who would suck my cock any time I wanted her to!"
Seriously, you guys, come on, have a little self-respect, yes???
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EDIT:
I received an email from a Dominant on this site after he read the above journal entry. He told me I sound so angry. Here is my reply to him. (I'm including it in case anyone else happens to think I "sound angry" after reading the journal entry.)
I'm really not angry. I just am tired of 55plus-year-old men (WHO ARE OFTEN EVEN OLDER THAN THEY STATE) saying they want between 18 and 45. I see it overrrrrrrrrrrrr and overrrrrrrrrrrrrr and overrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And yet here they are, perfectly average looking (you) with a perfectly average income (you) with perfectly average expenses (uhh, not you .. your children should be supporting themselves by now, unless you had them late in life with some young bitch who was just after your money and now has it), with a perfectly average-sized cock (you). Yet they seem to think that a woman around their own age is not good enough. They seem to think they deserve the young honey. Well, the young honey wants either a young good looking guy she wants to have sex with every morning and every night OR a rich old dude she doesn't have to fuck but can be his pretty trophy to show the world and in exchange she gets a kick-ass life. So there you go. I'm not angry. I'm just a great girl with a great slave heart with a great desire to serve yet the men around my age want little girls with shaven pussies and bad attitudes and it makes me crazy. Oh, and a lot of them get the young girls. She then has a couple of puppies with the guy, and no longer wants anything to do with him. After all, she is now in love with her children and wants to raise them and doesn't want to play trophy anymore for the rich old guy. So off she goes, taking his wallet with her. So now he doesn't have the girl, the money, or his beloved children. Men! So brilliant, the way they think with their dicks and they end up alone anyway. |
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I have a friend who is always saying "She made me mad." or "He made me yell and get angry." or "They were late so they made me leave and go back home."
Does anyone have any websites or saved articles that will explain to him that NO ONE MAKES him do anything? That he is in charge of his emotions and his actions? This man is in his early 60s and still does not understand that he, and he alone, is responsible for his actions and what comes out of his mouth.
Many thanks!! |
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Sometimes I feel like the only single person on the planet, I swear. And I look around, and every mean, dysfunctional, one-legged, zit-ridden woman has a good guy, and here I am, single! I don't get it, I swear. I mean, I am glad for the people who are in relationships, I really am. Yet I wonder why the heck I'm single. And I'm sick of my friends and family asking why I'm single.
I really wish a good man would claim me. But I won't be with just anyone and I won't be with the wrong man. I want a good, Dominant, available, psychologically-sound man, and I won't be with someone just so I'm not single.
Merry Christmas to you all. |
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I am going to look at a guest house rental today. I talked to the man on the phone last night and he seems like a great, positive, wonderful person - BUT - he is a Jeezuzfreak.
In your opinion, can you live on the same property with someone who is a Jeezuzfreak and not shy about sharing his opinions, his every thought, his, basically, verbal diarrhoea about his love of Jesus Christ?
I am THRILLED that this man has his faith and is comforted by that and feels loved by JC. But I don't subscribe to that line of thinking. Not sure whether to tell him I don't, or keep it to myself and pretend to have his same opinions so I can increase my chance of getting the guest house.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Thanks! |
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Be careful of what you write on here. Sometimes words should not be posted - as perhaps the set of eyes you are talking about will actually see the posting. And to hurt another person was never my intent. I have removed the other post from Monday out of respect to a man I don't know and have no reason to hurt. |
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I'm thinking today about a first date I went on recently. The date was quite long - he had come from a number of miles away and so we wanted to spend some considerable time together, if possible. So we did.
At some point well into the date, he told me that I give the "Back off, Pal!" vibe, and that all day I'd been giving the message that I am to be left alone, and not touched, and that I am standoffish. Wow! At the MOMENT he told me that, I was holding his hand, leaning in to the table so as to be closer physically to him, making direct and consistent eye contact, and my knees were slightly apart and my feet were pointed directly at him. Ummm, where, exactly, in ANY of that is the message "Get lost, don't touch me!"? I don't understand his assessment at all.
He, at the end of the date, said he'd call me in three days' time. I thought that a bit odd but whatever, perhaps he has something to attend to. He did send me an email saying he'd gotten home on time that night and I have sent an email or two since that time, but not received a reply. But he calls ME standoffish?
Life is so weird sometimes. But if anyone reading this can offer some insight, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.
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Has anyone else noticed that their user notes on other profiles are not saving? You go back to a profile that you KNOW you put notes on, and the notes are not there. Very irritating! |
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I've heard there are websites out there that you can plug in a product you want to buy, and it compares and contrasts the price of the product from several different websites, as well as tells you about shipping costs and anything else extra.
Does anyone know of such a site? It's such a pain checking site after site looking for the best price.
Thanks!
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He's back home. WHEW. I am very lucky, and never again will I make the careless mistake I made yesterday. It could have ended very badly for him out there in the dark and cold with predators all around. He is very lucky and so am I.
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This morning one of my parrots flew from his cage. It's going to be in the lower 40s tonight and it's windy. Poor little bastard had not even had his breakfast when he left.
May the Universe forgive me for my mistake.
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I need a laptop. Does anyone have a used, free laptop? All I need it for is surfing the Net and talking on here. :-)
Mine was an HP and almost caught fire (no joke!) and now I need a new one.
I know this is a long shot but I'm the nicest person in the world and thought I'd simply put it out there, and hope for the best.
Many thanks, and may you be having a wonderful evening.
~ohhhh2callyouSir
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Ok, here we go again. Out of sheer boredom and frustration, I threw myself into a chat room yesterday here on c/m. I figured I'd watch the story go by for a while, forget my troubles for a little bit, and then plunge back into dealing with everything that is going on in my life.
A couple of very interesting men IMed me while I was in the chat room. We had good conversations for a while. One man was lamenting his recently broken relationship, and I was (hopefully) offering comfort and kindness to a soul who was in pain. He was exceedingly kind and thanked me and invited me to keep in touch - it seems perhaps a new pal has been met. And for that, I am thankful, but I am especially thankful that I was able to help him, if only a little.
I also was IMed by a gentleman from Arizona. I enjoyed his verve for life and his playfulness and spontaneity. I enjoyed his directness and his clear Dominance that came across in our IM chat. Then abruptly, he accused me of ignoring him. (I was not ignoring him - I had a frozen comp, which unfroze itself after about a minute, but by then he had left the chat.) I sent him an email on c/m saying I had not been ignoring him, yadda yadda, and figured he'd read it and I'd never hear from him again.
Lo and behold, he wrote back and we continued talking. Then he invited me to come see him. Huh? I was thinking he was being twee, but no, he was serious. I told him he doesn't even know me, and why would he invite me to come see him? He told me that we seem to have the same goal in regards to D/s and a relationship so why not meet? Well, I could not fault him on that. And I knew that if he lived up the street, I'd meet him. So why not go meet him?
But then I realized that picking up and missing work for a few days straight, as well as paying for pet care for a few days, was prohibitively expensive. I GENTLY told him that and he offered to take care of all that once I got there. (RED FLAG GOING UP.) I explained that gee, I really don't know you, and for all I know this is a big practical joke, and gosh, were I rich and didn't have to work, and all the worst that would happen is I'd have been out a few bucks, then hey, I'd be willing to risk it maybe, but gee, since I have to work (and he apparently doesn't), and I have pets, why doesn't he come here?
Again, no, that won't work. If you're going to be my slave some day, says he, then you should come see me so you can see where you'd be living. But by the way, earlier in the conversation he had said that the first visit at least, he would not be having me to his home, and that I'd stay in a hotel. So how is his home even relevant? I don't know, this guy seems to be pulling me in circles.
So then I offered that we just continue to chat online and on the phone and .. BOOM! He interrupts me to say no, he won't be led by me, and that if I want a great guy, I'll get my ass to AZ tomorrow, Friday (this convo occurred yesterday). In the meanwhile, I'm trying to appease an angry client and made the mistake of telling this guy about the angry client. So what does he do? Today, Friday, in IMs when we have a bump in the road, he tells me that everyone is crazy, and I'm the only sane one. Huh? I never said my client was crazy - I said he was angry and had had a bad day and was being a grouchy menace. And I never said this Dominant is crazy, either - all I said was that if he wants me to come visit him, I have to address my responsibilities HERE in LOS ANGELES, and can't just jump into my car and go see him. And if he wants to meet, he can come HERE the first time.
Oh, and yesterday he referred to my pets as my "kids" (which was adorable, by the way), but by last night, only a few short hours after having made that reference, when he wanted me to come see him this morning, he was saying if I become his slave, I have to get rid of my pets. WTF? How can a man who has supposedly read my profile think that for ONE MINUTE I am going to dump my family, like a pile of wet newspaper??? These pets were thrown out by other people and I am NOT doing that to them again - I made a commitment to them and I'm not throwing them out so they can go through the trauma of being rehomed yet again.
What is really funny is yesterday all he said was "If there is a will, there is a way." Yet when it comes to my family, he wants me to throw them out. What happened to "If there is a will, there is a way"? And if he has so much money, then what's the big deal to support both me and my pets? Who the hell does he think he is, telling me I have to "get rid of them"?
Seriously, is Mercury in retrograde or something??? I mean, why can't a supposedly rich man in Arizona comprehend that I am a regular person and can't walk away from three or four days of employment AND put my pets in expensive-as-all-get-out pet care for those three or four days, AND that I need his LAST NAME and need to make an emotional connection with him AND have my expenses paid (gasoline, pet care, oil change) if he wants me to go there TODAY? I can pay my own way in life but I cannot just dump everything and throw responsibility to the wind and hope for the best. (WTF?? Is he insaaaaaaaaaaane??? Why doesn't he understand that in the BEGINNING when two people are first getting to know each other, it is the Dominant's RESPONSIBILITY to ENSURE that the potential slave KNOWS she is in good hands???)
Life is so very hard for me right now. How I long for a good, caring, NORMAL man to claim me. And yet time and again, I am approached by these impulsive, immature, baby type men who stomp their feet and scream "I want it now! I want it NOW!" and think that is going to get them what they want. Time to grow up, fellows, and be men.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
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By the way, this morning when I was still half asleep and very very irritable (due to only three hours of sleep and having to get up, thanks to my older and possibly senile cat waking me continually through the night), my parrot said to me, "Are you good?" What the .. PARDON ME??? I don't know where she got that. But then I know sometimes I say to my dogs, "Are you good girls? Or are you bad girls? Hmmmmm?" So maybe she is shortening that. Anyway, it was one of those goosebump moments because I was totally half asleep and as I approached her cage, totally pissed off at the world for having to be awake, and started to get her food dish out of her cage to feed her, she asked me "Are you good?" Wow, made me think, lemme tell ya. Yes, I'm good. Yes, I'm happy to have a roof over my head and food on the table and the company and love from my pets. I'm not going to be a bitchy irritable bum because my sweet but senile cat allowed me only three hours of sleep. Yes, dear birdy, I am good. Hope all of you out there in cm-land are well. |
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I heard a news hook last night about the most popular neighborhoods for trick-or-treating. I guess the thing to do these days is throw your kids into the car and drive to a wealthy neighborhood because they have better candy.
I personally think this is a shame that people do this. When I was a kid, Halloween was always a time to reconnect with each neighbor on the street. We'd ring the bell and the adult who answered the door (it was NEVER another kid) would ask, "Oh, who are you!? Which house do you live in?" and a lot of times they would playfully act scared of our costumed little selves, too, which was so sweet.
Nowadays parents cart their kids to "rich" neighborhoods because they are greedy and want "good" candy for their kids? What lessons are taught?
~The neighborhood we live in is not good enough.
~Do anything you have to do in order to get ahead in life, even if it means spending 30 minutes in the car and spending $5 in gas so you can get the "good" candy.
~The rich should support my brats.
~Connecting with my own neighborhood's residents is less important than going and getting loads of "good" candy.
You know, to me this is really sad. I really feel sorry for the people who live in Beverly Hills, Bel-Aire, Westwood, and Studio City (the cities cited on the news report). And, no doubt, the residents of these areas know that droves of kids are being driven to their neighborhood, so the result is that many of these people simply leave for the night of Halloween, thereby lessening the connection/relationship they could have with the kids of their own neighborhood who are trick-or-treating.
Anyway, I really find this practice of driving your children to a "rich" neighborhood so you can get "better" candy to be reprehensible. And them's my thoughts on the subject.
Happy Halloween, all.
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If you know of a guest house for rent in Los Angeles, please do drop me a line. I can spend up to $1300/mo, if that price includes the utilities. Oh, and I have pets, so they have to be okay with that.
I am immaculately clean and I am home quite a bit. I am quiet and I don't get on with noisy neighbors, so if it's Party Central in the front house, it would not be a good fit.
Please drop me a line if you know of someone who has a place for rent. Many thanks! |
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, the loneliness is painful at times! I so want to be a slave in service! I so want to be busy making his life better, and making my life fulfilled. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, the dreadful loneliness of it all is tooooooooooooo much sometimes!
Now, on to a more upbeat topic - I opened my closet today and took out a jacket I haven't worn since probably April, and I found $50 in the pocket! Whoooohoooo! Happy, happy, happy! :-) |
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Do you remember Halloween thirty-five and forty years ago? The decorations were SCARY. Pumpkins glared and frowned! Cobwebs hung from the dead tree branches! Chains rattled in the hallway! Nowadays pumpkins have cute little smiley faces, and trick-or-treat bags have smiling moons with big-eyed owls with little happy faced pumpkins. What the heck?? Where is the terror? Where is the creepiness? Where is the gore and filth?
Halloween used to be frightening, and it was fun for us kids. Now in this politically-correct world, we have to have cutesie decorations and happy little pumpkins and gosh, I long for 1973 again.
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There is a school of thought that people enter into D/s relationships as a way to avoid true emotional intimacy. I used to think this is bunk, but lately, I'm starting to wonder.
Time and again on this site, I am approached by seemingly normal men, only to engage in the getting-to-know-eachother process, and to then find out that they truly have emotional and mental problems. Now, I know by the time you get to your forties, fifties, sixties (the age of the men I'd consider submitting to), that we all have some baggage. Life is tough, and generally speaking, by the time a person gets into their forties and beyond, they have some "stuff" in their past that can influence the way they interact with people. I do understand that, and even recognize that I have my own "issues" that I am working on and that I wish were not a part of me.
HOWEVER. However, having said that, I recognize that I am working on "stuff" and I really do believe that I am doing better day after day. I mean, the way I handle a lunatic landlady is a perfect example. Twenty years ago I'd have screamed at her and thrown a chair into the pool and stormed off, but now, I simply state to her that I won't be talked to like that and I remove myself from the situation until she can control herself better. And the same goes with men - twenty years ago I was a different person but I've grown up. I don't let the demons of childhood rule me as much today as they ruled me when I was, say, 25.
But so many of the men on here, well, it seems they have done little, if ANY, of the work required to get along with someone for more than a few months. I think a certain amount of anxiety about being vulnerable is normal, and we all wonder what people would think of us if they knew the "real" us. But over and over, I seem to be approached by men who are unable to show affection, unable to be open, unable to receive tenderness.
I don't know what this is, but really, I'm starting to think there may well be something to that concept that D/s is simply a way for two people to be in a relationship without having to engage emotionally intimately with each other. And what a shame..what a shame.
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How serious are you about acquiring, and keeping for more than a day, a true slave? What would you do with her? Would you know what to do with her? And I'm not talking sex and bondage and all that stuff that 14-year-olds know how to do, either, by the way. |
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If you know of a guest house for rent in Los Angeles, please do drop me a line. I can spend up to $1300/mo, if that price includes the utilities. Oh, and I have pets, so they have to be okay with that.
I am immaculately clean and I am home a lot. I am quiet and I hate noisy neighbors, so if it's Party Central in the front house, it would not be a good fit.
Please drop me a line if you know of someone who has a place for rent. Many thanks!
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Will I ever meet HIM? I think about HIM all the time, and wonder if I will ever be in happy slavehood. I long to serve, be guided, not have the responsibility of making decisions, and I long to just be directed and do as I'm told. Yet it is so very elusive. I get thiiiiiiiiiiiisss close, and it doesn't happen.
Will I ever meet HIM? Will I? I have heard it happens on here. When will it be my turn? Course, were it to actually happen, my life would change a lot, and I'd not be the autonomous girl I am now. I'd have to adjust, and work hard, but oh, how I long for that day, indeed.
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I think I am developing carpal tunnel syndrome, and it hurts a lot. For my entire adult life I have worked and every one of those jobs has, in some way or another, made heavy use on my hands and forearms, and now I feel like I am paying for it.
Maybe I should start playing the lottery and win a zillion dollars. I can't think of a job that doesn't make use of the hands, so not sure what the heck I'm going to do if I do indeed develop carpal tunnel syndrome.
By the way, if you are in the Los Angeles area and have a job for me, please do get in touch! I am a self-employed something-something and therefore am always open to new work, or side jobs to make extra cash. MUCH appreciated!
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Do you work out? Do you dislike it? The reason I'm asking is because I am not enjoying my workout that I do almost nightly. I thought I'd put it out there into c/m-land and see if anyone else dislikes working out, and maybe you could write me and tell me how you get through it.
I know the Nike ad says "Just Do It!", but that doesn't seem to be synching with me. I put on my tennies then sometimes it takes me a half-hour to get going, when I could have been half-hour into it and half-way done if I'd just started right away instead of dawdling for a half-hour after I put my shoes on.
Help! Anyone have any suggestions? Please write! Please! :-\
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I've been a bad, bad girl. Too many men are approaching me with questions like, "What are your sexual interests? Have you ever done ________WEIRD SEX ACT HERE______? Do you like it in your ass??"
Men: I am fed up. I mean, a TRUE Dominant would get to know me, and if there was a meeting of the minds, he'd FIND OUT what my sexual interests are, and if I like it up my butt, etc. JEEEEZ!
Anyway, I've been sending surly emails left and right this morning. I am tired of being treated like a walking vagina and mouth. Does even one man on this site want what I want? Is there even one man left on here who wants to get to know me, spend TIME with me, and EVENTUALLY go to bed? Or is everyone just in such an all out hurry to stick it in, swirl it around, and shoot his load, only to be on to the next girl by this evening!?
How dull, and how disappointing. Yawn. |
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Had a first date last night. We had a lot of fun, as he is verrrrrrrrrrry funny (could seriously do stand up comedy) but .. alas... I didn't feel like I was out with a Dominant man. HE, however, complimented me at the end of the evening on how he loved that once I knew how he took his iced tea, that each time the waitress gave him a refill, that I sugared his tea just right. (That's so not a big deal to me - is so so so a part of who I am - but he thought it was impressive and such a big thing. Kind of cute, actually, the way it impressed him so.)
He wants to see me again in a few days. I don't want to see him. Wish it could be otherwise, but I just don't like his demeanor and I don't like the things he talks about and I want what I want, you know? Gosh, it's hard finding a match. I mean, here is a very nice, local, very stable, attractive, very kind, definitely born Dominant man, but we are still not a good fit.
Such a bummer. Suuuuuuuuuch a bummer.
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You know, usually I would not air my dirty laundry. But screw it. I'm so tired of the liars and the losers and the selfish clods on this site who say they are looking for a relationship, say they think I am worth getting to know, say they are honorable, trustworthy, blah-dee-blah, and yet who end up being LIARS who think only of their immediate (probably sexual) gratification. They want to talk and pretend they are something else, probably all the while beating their tiny wieners, since they are .. whoooooo!...in an IM with a real life slave girl and all...whoooo!...and then they slink away into the night like the snakes that they are.
So anyway, I'm airing my dirty laundry. You can write me back with comments or questions or equally miserable stories, or you can just read through all this slop, knowing you aren't the only one on here who gets slung around like you are trash and worthless, and not the kind-hearted human that you are, with real-life human emotions and real-life time constraints and real-life hopes and dreams and aspirations.
The guy in North Dakota [his user name is something like VentureInvestor ..stay away..married probably] has disappeared. Some three weeks ago, before his supposed trip (now
I wonder if there even was one), he said he'd like us to talk on the
phone when he returned. I told him, "If you screw me on this, you'll do
a lot of damage." He assured me he would not screw me on this. I said
thank you. He said he was going to bring me back a present. I told him
I don't want one, and to just do as he says he'll do. He said it would be a present to show me what I mean to him. (Alarm bells rang. I ignored them, thinking he was just being sweet and I was being a jaded bitch.)
So off he (supposedly) went to Malasia, Philippines, and when he got back, he IMed and told me he had bought me a pearl
choker. (I guess I was supposed to swoon and profess my undying
slaveness to him.) I told him "That costs too much. I don't want it. I
can't believe you'd get a pearl anything for me, someone you've never
even talked to on the phone, never mind met in person, and nevermind
decided we are a good match." Well, I think he was appalled at my not having
swooned and devoting myself to him forevermore, but too bad.
So anyway, after IMing for a few MORE days (it had now been several WEEKS since we first talked, and TWO weeks since he said he'd let me call when he got back), I reminded him that we were
going to talk on the phone when he got back, and gee, it has been a few
days since he'd gotten back. He said to go on and put my phone on the
charger and when I returned from that, he'd give me his number and I
could call. (You know where this is going.)
Oh, see, we had been IMing on yahoo and I'd been using my phone to do so, and he knew that my
phone was not holding a charge real well because we'd be IMing and I'd
have to stop and put the phone on the charger for 10 min so we could
continue. So he suggested I put the phone on the charger for a "good
long time" so that we could talk on the phone uninterrupted, and he'd give me his number as soon as I returned and let him know I was ready to call. So fool
that I am, I put the phone on the charger for 40 minutes and did all my
chores and brushed my teeth, all the while looking forward to talking
with him.
I returned after the 40 min and saw he was still online, but not 10
seconds after I returned to my phone's yahoo, he signed off, and I have
not heard from him since. FUCKING PUSSY. See, I left my phone ON and
left yahoo ON while my phone was on the charger. And if you leave
yourself on yahoo but don't use it, it shows you as idle. And the
moment you start pushing the cursor around, it shows you as unidle, and
available. So he knew I was back and knew I was about to ask for his
number, so that is why he signed off. JACKASS.
Course, I knew when he would not give me his number before he went to
Malaysia that he was full of shit. But you know, I was hoping and all.
And the FL guy who I'd been talking with for a couple weeks disappeared, too. He is the one who says his bro was in
a car accident - and who knows if that is true or just a pile of horse
manure. But whatever. (How MANY men on c/m over the years have very suddenly had brothers or mothers or children be in serious car accidents and cannot talk for a little while, only to open a new account and start the whole fucking-someone-else-over process all over again, never to be heard from again by the original fuckee??)
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you the follow-up to these jackasses that enter my life, pretend to be nice, and turn into jerks. And I'm not saying I am faultless. As soon as a man says "You can have my number in x number of minutes/hours/days/weeks" I should just immediately block his pussy-ass, wimpola lying self and never talk to him again. So it's my fault. But you know, I would not want to accuse a man who really IS going to follow through and give me his number in a few minutes of being a liar, so I put up with these jerks, and their shit, and end up writing c/m journal entries about them at 7:31 PM on a Friday night. Yep.. yep.
Hoping that all of you are having a wonderful evening. Be kind to yourselves, and to each other, and remember, there is a real human, with human emotions and human time constraints and human hopes and dreams and aspirations on the other side of that computer screen from you.
Signed, o.
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Ok, once again my lunatic landlady is at it again. Frankly, I've had it. I pay on time and in full every month. I conserve utilities like no one I know. (My friends laugh and say I should have lived in the times when people went to the local stream to pull water, and grew their own veg, and slaughtered their own chickens for food, and read by candlelight in the evenings.) I don't complain when she has had a bad day and screams at me. I am kind and loving and smile, even when I don't want to. I am considerate, and am very quiet when I get home past her bed time of 9 PM. I share when I have a surplus. I tell her when she leaves her interior light on in her car so that she won't have a dead battery in the morning. I turn off the hose and hang it back up when she forgets and leaves it running in the pool and the pool is about to overflow. I call her when she isn't home if I hear an alarm going off in her house or one of her cats moaning in pain.
We live on the same property but in different houses. Mine is a converted garage separate from the house, but directly behind her. About 30 feet of concrete separates us. We run into each other a lot. We share the same laundry facilities (the w & d are outside behind my house) and the same yard and the same everything. We are stuck running into each other and she has a bad attitude and is a surly cunt and I'm sooooooooo fed up with her miserable self.
She is 67 years old, and sees only the negative in everyone and everything. And if something goes wrong, well, it was not an accident or an oversight - you were really just trying to fuck her over.
She doesn't get along with ANYONE in her life and if there is no drama within her grown children or son-in-law, or at her little part-time job she keeps for the health insurance and so she can get out of the house every day, then she picks a fight with me. Or she calls her grown offspring and makes herself out to be the victim and me to be the bad guy, when in fact there is not even anything going on, but she wants the drama and the chaos and apparently doesn't feel ALIVE if some shit isn't going down.
Really, my stomach is in knots all the time, and I even vomit occasionally due to the stress she sometimes heaps on my shoulders. My shoulders feel like rocks, they are so tight, and I've been grinding my teeth at night enough that my teeth are wearing down and my jaw is in pain each morning. And this morning I realized that if she was my employer, and I her employee, I could bring a hostile work environment case against her and claim harassment, etc. But what can I do as a tenant???
I hate this woman, and I'm not this kind of ugly, hating, hard person. I am all about love and kindness and doing good in this world and being caring and sweet, and I'm renting from this venomous, surly, hateful little witch, and I'm really really fed up. Fed up. Fed. Up.
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I love the new(ish) feature on c/m where you can roll your cursor over a sender's name in email and you can read the content of their email. That way, if it is mean and ornery, you can just delete the damned thing unread, and not have to fool with it.
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Does anyone know, are the guests on "Jerry Springer" real? I mean, are these people actually actors who come on and pretend to be these dysfunctional family members? Or are they real people genuinely discussing their genuine lives?
I'm waiting for the live arraignment of the city officials of the city of Bell, CA, to come on, and this show "Jerry Springer" is on. I cannot believe this stuff is real.
I'm doing housework and keep hearing phrases like "I know he's the one for me after two weeks." And from some other guest, "Just give me a second chance. I know I cheated on you umpteen times and have no job and have seven kids by five women, but I love you. Please give me a second chance." Huh?
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The above journal entry was not up ten minutes before I received an emailed response to it. This is HILARIOUS! Take a gander:
wait...are you watching Springer or reading CollarMe journal entries, lolol. sounds about the same to me !
its the only reason i come here, to read the journals. keeps me off the streets.
take care, and dont watch too much of that stuff, it CANT be good for you.
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All right, so I have a question that I'd like to put out there, and am really hoping that both males and females reply to this.
In your opinion, if two people have not yet met, and live a far distance from each other, and meeting is not all that easy to accomplish very quickly, therefore, and one is pushing for phone sex, does that present a problem? In your opinion, is going to sex (or as close to it as the phone will allow) so quickly going to doom any sort of long-term emotionally-based relationship from ever forming?
By the way, I may or may not be talking about myself, and I may or may not have a set opinion on this topic. I'm more putting this out there to find out what those of you in the community think about the subject.
Thank you to anyone who chooses to take time and write me a message on their thoughts.
:-) ohhhh2callyouSir
PS - The above scenario has NOTHING to do with my journal entry of Sept. 10. For some reason several people have thought that, so I figured I'd come back and edit this to let everyone know that the two entries are not related.
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Happy Birthday to me! :-)
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Ok,
so I've been chatting with a man from this site for a little bit. We
have moved to chatting on the phone. He told me yesterday that he would
call me that evening.
I waited for a call that never came
in. A month ago we went through this same thing where he'd say he'd
call then did not. Or he'd say to meet him online to chat in IMs and he
would not show. So a month (or five weeks or whatever it was) I said
"Enough is enough" and let it go, figuring he was a lame-ass.
So
last night, when he didn't call, I called him, thinking maybe he'd
forgotten, or gotten distracted and not noticed the time, or whatever.
I called, and got his voice mail. I hung up. Waited another hour,
figuring maybe he'd see I'd called and call me. Nope. So called him an
hour later. Still no answer. I left a message to the effect of "I see a
pattern emerging once again. But perhaps something has happened so I
won't presume anything. But it seems to me you have a tendency to say
you'll do something then you don't do it."
My phone goes
on the charger every night from about 10 to midnight. I turned off my
phone and put it on the charger. Around 11:30 I turned my phone back
on, only to discover he had called and left a scathing,
venomous-sounding voice mail:
"My world doesn't revolve
around you. It is the other way around. Your world revolves around me.
I'll have you know I didn't forget you - I was working on my Harley and
putting on a new carburetor and yeah, I heard the phone ring but opted
to not answer it because I'm not going to go running across the garage
with greasy hands just to answer your call! And yeah there is a phone out there in the garage but why should I stop what I'm doing to go answer your call??? And
another thing, when you call my cell phone, unblock your fucking
number, cuz I don't answer no blocked fuckin' numbers. And that's all I
got to say on this. So you call me back when you have something
reasonable to say. And another thing, I'm sick of fucking arguing. It
ain't your place to argue with me or think you know anything. And I
gotta get up at 4 AM tomorrow morning so you don't even have to call
back tonight."
Any comments would be welcome. I am not going
to say what my thoughts are at this time because I want opinions from
people - hopefully both Dominant and submissive, male and female. I'd
really like to hear your thoughts.
Thank you to anyone who opts to write me.
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Lately I have been contacted by man after man who writes like he is writing to his grandmother. They write little bits of chit-chat and their emails don't go anywhere. Are you all looking for a chit-chat pen pal or are you actually wanting a girl to be in your life???
PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE CONTACTING ME. I am just so tired of the false starts on here and the way that people don't follow up, don't follow through, don't do what they say they will, and in general are just plain LAME.
Don't say you are going to call on Saturday and then not call.
Don't say you are serious in your search, feel a connection with me, and will call daily, and then don't.
Don't say you want a live-in when all you really want is a little daily break from your boring life and you flit from one girl to another, emailing and chit-chatting and that is all you REALLY want.
Don't call and ask me to take off my top.
Don't call and tell me you are "hard for me."
Don't ask me for my number or offer me yours if all you want is to fuck around and have NO clue about what slavery is and is not.
Don't call on me if all you want is someone to keep you company while you futz around on the computer and do small chores and are barely even holding your end of the conversation.
Don't be a lame-ass. Just don't be a lame-ass! BE A MAN! BE A DOMINANT MAN! BE WHAT AND WHO YOU CLAIM TO BE!
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez! Someone pour me a whisky, please. I can't take it anymore. (Not that I turn to drink for comfort, but you get the point, hopefully.)
:::smoothing ruffled feathers:::
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My dad recently had surgery. I don't like or respect my dad, as he's a bad man and has been terrible to me for some 35 years now. (No, I'm not 35, ya brainiacs.)
I'm getting peer pressure from several friends and my sister to call him. I hate that I don't want to call him and I hate that I am feeling guilty for wanting to protect myself from his emotional cruelty.
If any of you have experience with this, please, please write and tell me of your own experience, and how you came to resolve whether or not you made contact. FYI- the last time we spoke was in early January, at which time he told me he'd call me in two weeks. (It's almost two weeks now, right? I'm sure my phone will ring any minute.)
Also, I'm quite happy with him out of my life. My torment lies in the fact that I worry that after he dies (and he will likely die before me, seeing as he is thirty years older than I), that I will regret not having said xyz, or not having asked abc. At that time I won't have the chance any more. But yet here in life, each time I reach out, I am left with the feeling of "WHY DID I JUST DO THAT TO MYSELF?? WHY HAVEN'T I LEARNED TO STAY AWAY???" So therein lies my dilemma.
Any advice, any words of wisdom, any personal experiences that any of you wish to share with me, would be very much appreciated.
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Ten Reasons Not to Buy a Bird:
There are a lot of things you should know before deciding to buy a bird as a pet. I want you to be happy with your bird, and I've found that it's best to prepare potential bird owners by pointing out the downside first. After falling in love with and buying a bird, many people find that birds just don't fit into their lifestyle after all. Many unwanted birds are given up and must have homes found for them. It's heartbreaking when someone has no choice but to get rid of their bird, even though they've grown extremely attached, and perhaps it's sadder for the bird, as birds are capable of forming strong attachments to humans, and it can take months or even years before they can adapt to a new home. I try to do my part to help anyone and any bird in such a situation, but I'd rather prevent it from occurring in the first place. That's why I want you to make an informed decision, so that both you and your bird will be happy. The following ten points are the most frequent concerns and complaints I hear from new bird owners: l. ------This is the most demanding animal I've ever had. Don't be misled by salespeople and magazines who try to popularize birds and promote their suitability as pets by selling them as an easy animal to care for. They are anything but easy to care for. Not only are their nutritional and environmental needs exacting, but also mentally and emotionally they are so extremely sophisticated that many people find the relationship to be too demanding. Birds in the wild are either monogamous and bond for life or live in flocks and bond periodically. In a natural environment they would not be exposed to the experience of being alone. They are together more than most human couples would find tolerable. Although it is true that a bird, even a large parrot, can adapt to a nine-to-five person's schedule, many people find after buying one that this is hardly the best situation and feel guilty for leaving the bird alone for such long periods. This leads to another problem at times, when people decide to get a friend for their bird and find owning two to be nothing short of twice the difficulty of caring for one. 2.------ He's bored and unhappy. He doesn't do anything. She's laying eggs all the time. It's pulling its feathers out. I think he needs a friend. Deciding to get a companion for your bird is a difficult thing to do. In many if not most situations however, birds are happier when paired, and at some point in a bird's life, one of its owners, if not the only owner, decides to "set the bird up" with one of its own kind. This will inevitably lead to some degree of what can only be called the loss of pet quality. Once a bird has bonded with a bird mate, its attachment to humans has to decrease somewhat. Many people find the bird's new behavior difficult to handle. The closeness they once felt with their pet is now absent. Even worse is the frequent outcome where the birds don't get along at all and the owner simply finds himself with the problem compounded. Of course there are solutions. Keeping birds of different species who can provide company if not companionship for one another is a good idea. Birds can also get along with other animals, and if approached creatively, keeping a single pet bird can be quite satisfying for the owner, and a happy situation for the bird. 3.------- My home is a mess. Birds are messy. They don't really care where they go to the bathroom. It is possible to "toilet train" some species, but this is difficult and time consuming. Birds also tend to scatter their food, and feathers seem to be around all the time. The flapping of wings can make seeds, shredded cage liners, and feathers travel some distance from the cage or play area as well. Although there are measures you can take to minimize the mess, you cannot hope to eliminate it. 4. -------He chews on everything. Birds, especially parrots, love and need to chew. Toys are designed to provide an outlet for this very natural behavior, but unless you limit your bird's mobility and access, he will make toys of your books, picture frames and antique armoire. Again, this is more of a problem with larger birds, but even small chewers like lovebirds and parakeets are capable of being extremely destructive. 5. ------I can't stand the noise. This is a major problem for some people. Birds make all kinds of sounds and noises. There are some that are quieter than others are, but some people find even the low-volume chattering of finches to be monotonous and annoying. Among the larger birds, cockatoos and amazons are the loudest. Conures are capable of incessant screeching, and even parakeets and lovebirds can give rise to complaints from neighbors. 6. -------It doesn't talk. Many people find the capacity for speech to be the most appealing reason for buying a parrot. Be forewarned. Even if you buy a bird with an outstanding reputation for talking such as an African Grey or an Amazon parrot, there is no guarantee that it will ever speak. If you have your heart set on a talking bird, you would be well advised to buy one that already speaks. Otherwise you may be very disappointed. And besides, even the most talented of talkers needs time to learn. Birds usually don't start talking until one or two years of age. 7. -------It bites. And it's true. Birds bite. They sometimes even bite the hand that feeds them and the person to whom they've bonded. It's not like a dog biting. Birds certainly do bite out of aggression, but it's more likely to be out of fear, frustration or anger. Birds bite one another as part of their natural interaction, and they expect us to tolerate some degree of this natural behavior. It's a means of communication that leaves many people feeling hurt and rejected. To put it simply: birds are excellent communicators. Biting is a way of saying, "I don't like that," and a very effective way of saying it at that. We humans are often not so direct or assertive, and we tend to hold a grudge when somebody or some bird is more assertive than we are. I personally think that if any of my birds didn't bite me whether it's soft or hard, then there's something wrong with that bird. 8. -------He doesn't like anyone but me. I'm the only one who can handle him. Birds are often purchased as family pets, and many birds are quite gregarious and friendly with a variety of people. But quite often, birds become closely bonded to individuals and will not tolerate handling by anyone but their chosen person. In fact, many times this turns out to be someone in the family other than the person who wanted the bird as a pet in the first place. Flock birds tend to be more social, whereas birds who spend little or no time in flocks in the wild will be less likely to get along with more than one person. 9.-------- I've spent hundreds of dollars on veterinary bills. Avian medicine is very specialized. There are few avian experts around. Tests, procedures, and treatments tend to be expensive. In addition, birds tend to exhibit symptoms only at the point where they are fairly if not acutely ill, and treatment at that point is often of an emergency nature and therefore more costly. l0.------- I'm moving. I'm getting married. The baby sitter is allergic. Etc. Birds live a long time. Budgies, or parakeets, can live well into their teens, and among the larger parrots, ages of eighty years or more are well documented. However, the statistics may be misleading. Most birds succumb to illness or accidental death long before nature runs its course. Still, it's important to remember that your bird may outlive you or your current lifestyle. In fact, many birds will outlive more than one owner. So consider this: birds all last a long time. Pets don't "grow up" like your children do. They are forever dependent on us for their continued survival and well-being. If you still want a pet bird, there can only be one reason. Birds are fantastic pets. To those of us who love them, they are truly incredible and capable of the most amazing expressions of charm, intelligence and love. If you have what it takes to be a bird owner, and you know what you're getting into, then you're probably in for the pet experience of a lifetime. Also remember that the bird who is called a *pre owned* is a bird that will give much happiness to people even if it's not the specific happiness that people are looking for. * Pre owned* birds are in a class of their own and also unique. One other important thing here--- A person should really take the time to check out whether certain species of parrots should actually be good as a pet * for anyone*, There's a few that I really don't think should be pets at all but that's another subject. Congratulations on making a responsible decision, whether it's to own a bird or not. Good luck and be happy.
~Adapted from a bird info source.
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::heavy sad sigh:::
Will I ever be in service to a good and decent honorable Dominant man?
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Happy Birthday, Mr. President! Now, if you don't mind, will you please bring home all the boys and girls who are still in the Middle East? You're not the only one who hopes to celebrate his next birthday, yanno.....
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Hi, Everyone!
I just thought I'd write my thoughts on an interaction I had fairly recently. A gentleman, after speaking to me on the phone for a few days, asked me, no, demanded of me, "Are you going to go with me to Las Vegas for bike week? It is on the last few days of September and we'd come back on October 1st. I need to know!"
Umm, guys. Jeez. I know I am wonderful, and safe, and kind-hearted, but do you know that? No, you don't. The fact is, I could be anyone. I could be some lunatic that is going to knife you in your sleep and ride off on your Harley spending all your cash for a few days before returning to my regular life here in Los Angeles.
I just wanted to stress that anyone, male or female, can be dangerous and one should, be they female or male, take precautions and go slowly in the dance of getting to know one another.
Dem's my thoughts for tonight.
Sincerely, o.
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Ok,
anyone know what the heck I should do? I am sitting in a coffee shop
and two men of Middle Eastern descent are sitting at a table about
seven feet away and they are having a conversation in Arabic and all I
can recognize is "jihad" this and "jihad" that. They might be
discussing the finer points of jihad-ness in an intellectual manner,
completely harmless, or they might be discussing how to do one here.
I recognize the one as a regular here - I see him every day that I come
in here about five days/week. The other guy I've seen about once every
two weeks. They both live around here.
Anyone?
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The D/s lifestyle is not what you see advertised on every pages on this site. These advertisements you see are pornography. I am not a slave of pornography and what I seek is so much deeper than putting on a kinky getup and opening my warm wet parts for your throbbing manmeat.
I sincerely hope you understand what the heck I am saying. :-) |
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I went to a place here in the San Fernando Valley last night. It was open 24 hours and very close to where I live. On top of that, they were fantastic. I absolutely would recommend this facility to anyone who is uninsured or just wants good medical care that isn't ungodly expensive and doesn't want to go through the County hospital system. (Hello, torture! Hello, 30-hour waits! Hello, bad attitude staff!)
I got a tetanus shot and a shot of antibiotics. He also wrote me a prescription for oral antibiotics. And today, I am a new person. Really, it is incredible how much better I feel today.
For those of you who are curious, I got bitten by a dog who I'd been pet-sitting on Friday afternoon. At the time, I scrubbed it out with soap and water and then dumped half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide over the wound. But come Saturday afternoon, I felt like crud (fever and really bad arm pain), had swelling so bad that the wrist that was bitten was 1.5 inches bigger around than the other wrist, and most scary, I had a red stripe making its way from the site of the wound up my arm headed toward my body (and heart!) So off to the facility I went, and like I said, they did a great job.
Oh, and by the way, had I had insurance, they'd have hospitalized me to receive IV antibiotics! Scary! So the lesson here is even if you know the dog, and the dog knows you, if you are pet-sitting it, it may be stressed out that you are in its home, that you are touching it or touching its food, and that its person is away and he doesn't know when its person will be back, so be extra cautious if you are pet-sitting a dog. This dog weighed a whopping 16 lbs and still managed to cause me a lot of damage.
Happy Trails.
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Are you in the SFV part of L. A. by chance? Do you know of a good medical facility that won't charge a lot? I have to get a tetanus shot and some antibiotic. :-( Much appreciated.
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A question for you computer folks out there - do you know how to make a bird out of symbols on the keyboard? For example, you can make a cat by using the ^, ., <, and > symbols. Anyone know how to make a bird? Thank you so much!
>^..^<
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June 27, 2010. Twelve years. Can't believe it. Miss you, Mom, more than you can imagine. May you be resting in peace, and happy. Much love.
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My best friend's beloved father died on this Monday past. His service was today, Father's Day, of all days. (How sad, and how sweet.) His pooch, Max, was at the service, along with a zillion people.
I hope if I ever have a service, that someone thinks to bring my animals. I loved that my friend thought about her dad in such a way - she is a giving, kind soul, and I'm lucky to have her count me as her friend.
May you finally rest in peace, Tony, father of my good and bestest friend. You were a superb man and lived your 79 years with honor and courage and kindness; the world has lost a true gentleman.
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My most recent adoptee is a Bare-Eyed Cockatoo. He has been living in a dark garage with one little window approximately 18" x 24". That's inches, not feet, just to be sure I'm clear. You see, he was interesting and fun and a novelty when they first purchased him, but then they divorced and she took the little guy and yet she stayed the workaholic ball-buster that she is. So of COURSE this parrot started screaming - who wouldn't?? He's got the intelligence of a three-year-old child and suddenly finds himself alone for days at a time with one crappy used up toy to keep him company. Yes, she left him with a pile of food and water but the poor bird had no interaction with his "flock" anymore.
When I picked him up almost four weeks ago, the woman proudly told me, "He's a real handful so he lives in the garage now and no matter how busy I am, I always give him ten minutes of my time every Sunday." You know, it's a wonder I'm not in jail for having stabbed the woman to death with my car keys. Anyway, I've renamed him and he's settling in. He no longer screams but he is still terrified of everything (except me, though he is scared of my left hand for some reason). He has no idea what toys are or what fruits and vegetables are, and he has no idea how to step up onto my hand. (This would be akin to adopting a five-year-old child who didn't know how to walk.) My heart breaks sometimes but then I push those feelings down and just get on with teaching him that he is safe and loved. And last night he discovered the wonders of a strand of raw spaghetti, which he gobbled down in 2-mm bites till the entire thing was gone. :-). |
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:-( You'll be missed, Rue McClanahan. I loved you on "The Golden Girls" and I loved your episode of "Celebrity Ghost Stories" and I hope where ever you are, you are happy and at peace.
xox
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Ok, so this morning I plugged in my laptop and walked away (an HP DV6000, for anyone who cares, bought slightly less than 2.5 years ago). I came back some five minutes later to find smoke coming out of the damned thing!!! I wonder if it might have caught fire had I left the room for longer than I had. And it was on a table right next to curtains - a great way to spread a fire very quickly. I shudder to think of what may have happened!
Has anyone else had a problem with HP laptops letting off smoke when you plugged in the power cord? If so, how did you fix the problem, and did you have any luck if you contacted HP's customer service center?
Thanks in advance to anyone who replies.
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Why do people have to be so damned mean? If they are disappointed or saddened, why not just say that, instead of lashing out and being mean??
His feelings were hurt, of that I am sure, but now mine are, too. It would have gone so much more nicely had he simply said that he was disappointed and saddened and that he hopes that we are still on track to get to know each other. Instead, he lashed out and sent cruel, dismissive emails, one after the other, and then wished me well.
Really, I feel like c/m is the poster child for whackadoos of the world, and here I am, amongst all of them, trying to play by the rules that no one else seems privy to nor even interested in. I feel rooted!
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I have talked with a pleasant man over the past week or so. Even tho he states in his profile that this thing that we do is mostly mental, I really don't think that he gets that, nor do I think most on here get that.
I think that most people on here, from what I've noticed, still see this thing that we do as "this, and that." In profiles and journal entries, there is a constant referring to of
"vanilla." Well, there is no vanilla. I mean, if you are just looking for kink, then yeah, there is vanilla. But if you're looking for a slave, then vanilla-ness is not even an issue. Life is life and that's that. There is no vanilla this or non-vanilla that.
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As a follow-up to the what-to-do-with-my-dead-parrots thing: I could not decide whether to cremate them both separately, cremate them both together, cremate one and bury the other in my yard, cremate one and bury the other in my friend's yard, or bury them both here or bury them both in my friend's yard, so I have put them both in that friend's freezer.
I am a renter, so burying either or both here would be difficult when I moved, as I would no longer be able to visit their grave, and I'd feel some guilt at leaving him or them behind. But burying one or both in my friend's yard is a possibility. And seeing that box in my freezer every day might result in me getting into bed for a day or five and going into a deep depression so it is better for them to be at my friend's house in the freezer for now. (I'm sure my vet is really glad to have them out of her freezer, but she so offended me the way she asked me to get them out of her freezer that she has lost me as a client. She may be an unfeeling, clinical bitch but not everyone is like that, and so I'll take my business elsewhere.)
By the way, I had one parrotlet for four years and one for fourteen hours. If I only had one dead bird to deal with, it would be a no-brainer - he'd be cremated and in an urn on my desk or dresser or bookshelf right now. But having the little guy that I only had for a portion of a day, well, the issue is more emotionally-complicated now.
Again, anyone who is reading this who has any thoughts on it, I'd welcome hearing what you think. And if my words have brought your own Kitty or Fido or Tweetie who has passed over to mind, well, I hope you feel some comfort in the memory of happy times with that pet.
xoxox
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How sad that not one person who read my journal entry of 18 hours ago chose to write me with their thoughts. It seems everyone wants instant gratification and everyone wants to be stimulated constantly these days, and to take 10 minutes and write a stranger who is in pain (me) is just too much to hope for these days.
Such a sad world this is becoming. Just sadder and sadder each day, in my opinion.
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I'm supposed to have my parrot's remains today. The problem is, I don't quite know what to do with them. I want to have him cremated, but the problem is this: The next parrot I bought didn't make it through the first day. He died, too. He is also in my vet's freezer. So I have two birds in my vet's freezer, waiting to be cremated (or buried).
I don't know what to do. My little guy, I had him for four years (to the day, weirdly) and the new bird, I had him for not even a day. If I was made of $$, I'd cremate them both, but I'm not made of $. I feel guilty cremating my little guy, buying an urn, and keeping him forever, and just putting the new parrot into the ground. Plus, I'm a renter, so when I move from this house, well, I'll be leaving him behind.
I am completely at a loss as to what to do. I mean, I could even put the two dead birds into a single package and have them cremated together. I kind of like the idea of the two of them up there in birdy heaven hanging out and being buddies, trading stories about their time with me, and having them cremated together would save me $ (but cheat the crematorium out of one bird's fee). But having them cremated together would also..jeez, what words do I use here???....would also perhaps cheapen the relationship I had with my little guy that I had for four years.
Ugh! I hate this. I don't know what to do.
Please, if you are reading this and are an animal-lover, please take a few moments and write to me with your thoughts. I feel like I'm going to go crazy and I MUST make this decision today, Wednesday, the 12th of May. And if it matters, each of these parrots each weighed less than an ounce each. (They are parrotlets - the coolest parrot of all. Google them to see!)
Thanks in advance, and RIP, you two little sweeties. May we have each other again some day, be it in the form of a hummingbird in my garden or a cool breeze on a summer evening, or a baby parrotlet come my way once again. xoxox
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Getting out of my car today, a neighbor and her hubby were walking by. I often see this couple on their evening walk. They are an older couple and are always smiling and always give a wave, and I've wanted to strike up a conversation with them for quite some time now. Well, today I did.
Today is his 95th birthday. They are both originally from "Italia," as they called it. They have traveled the world and have some trips coming up. They have a vegetable garden in their back yard. They were a delight, and cheery and happy as can be, even as they slowly made their way down the street toward their house, he on a cane and she with one blind eye.
This couple gives me hope that some day maybe I will be in a loving relationship with a man I adore, and who adores me, who I can take walks with on his 95th birthday. And by the way, the old guy stared at my breasts for a lot of the time we talked! (I do wonder what he was thinking about! It could have been anything, really, and I do wonder!)
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Just a bit of unsolicited advice for all you collarme-ers out there:
When one makes such a request as "Call me," one might want to include one's number. Unless one is making such a request of one's mother or best friend, it is always wise to include one's number, even if you have provided said number before.
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A good friend has ended our friendship today. I have felt it coming for months now, and have half been expecting it. When someone leaves you, no matter if it is your fault or theirs or neither, well, the pain is great.
I tried to be a good friend, and believe I was, but sometimes things just don't work out. The differences in personality or in beliefs are too great, and good times come to an end, laughs are no more, and the phone stops ringing.
Thank you, friend, and though you will never see this entry, I hope that somehow, you know that I am grateful for the past year of platonic, happy times, asexual and unpressured, but full of fun and laughs and silliness. I shall miss you.
xxo
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If you have a picture of your cock in your profile, then you and I are definitely, definitely, without a doubt, NOT a match.
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::sigh::: What is it with men on here who don't even have the testicles to say "No longer interested, but good luck," or even, "I think you're not the woman for me and if you were the last one on Earth, I'd fuck a cactus instead of you." Not that I am upset or anything, mind you, but some men, such as HOHinFlorida, have absolutely no manners whatsoever.
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To answer your question, anyone may IM me at any time. I don't subscribe to that asking permission to IM stuff. I mean, what's the big deal? If I get a rude IM, I can simply reduce the IM and send it to the bottom of my screen. Nooooooooo biggy, at all, so go on and IM if you'd like to talk.
:-)
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I heard from a polite young man today. He is conflicted about wanting to Dominate a woman. I find it interesting that he is conflicted. I was conflicted when I first started some 14 years ago, too. It lasted on and off for a few years but the more articles I read, and the more I stayed away from online erotic stories (which dont represent real life), the more I realize this is who I am. He'll get more comfortable, the more he learns academically, and the more he lets it sink into his thoughts and heart.
Good luck to any of you out there who are new and conflicted!
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So........I've been contacted by a man on this site. I take a gander at his profile and picture and decide, "Uhh, no way." Instead of telling him he's disgusting and ignorant, I POLITELY tell him we are not a good fit and what does he write back? That I think that I am better than he and that I look down on people. Jeez, louise, all I said was we are not a good fit, and that is the truth! I never made any "You're a loser" or "You're nasty and gross" comments. How come I cannot have my own PREFERENCES without being accused of looking down on someone??? Yet I bet HE has HIS own preferences, the damned buffoon.
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Arrrrrrrrrgh. Arrrgh. Just arrrrrrrgh.. Arrgh.
Los Angeles can be a very rough, cold, tough, solitary, unkind place at times.
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I am thinking of moving. I really cannot afford this guest house anymore and besides, the landlady keeps feeding my dogs crap. She buys cookies full of chemicals and made of white flour, white sugar, and artificial flavorings, and then says she doesn't like said cookies and gives them to my dogs! Here I am making my dogs' food homemade, so as they have good health and longer lives, and my dang landlady is feeding them cookies made of crap. And it isn't as if I haven't politely but firmly asked her to not feed them crap - she does it anyway.
However, what if I move and it's out of the frying pan and into the fire? Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, some would say. Well, I have a lot to think about.
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Woke up with a sore throat today. And two hours later Aunt Flo arrived. And now I'm curled up in a ball under a blanket, coughing. You know I'm the sexiest woman you'll have talked to today. ;-)
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It seems a non-Dominant friend of mine has "dumped" me (for lack of a better word). He says I have too many problems and that it has been "one thing after another" lately, and that he is just exhausted.
I cannot help it that the DMV hasn't sent my stickers that I paid for and are saying I must have received them and if I want new ones, I have to give them $266. I cannot help it that my little bird died and I am devastated and still missing him after a whopping two months. I cannot help it that my new bird, when we were trimming his nails, started to bleed and the bleeding would not stop and my friend, who has no bird experience, assumed the bird was going to die. I cannot help it that I was sick and unable to work for a month and fell behind on bills. I cannot help it that my landlords are crazy people (his words) and that he, who has lived in the same house since 1973, thinks I should move, and cannot understand why I don't want to. (Umm, it's called, the stress of looking for a new place and moving, not to mention the costs, far outweigh dealing with the occasional crazy conversation from these people.) I cannot help it that I thought I had breast cancer and was terrified and didn't have health insurance. I cannot help it that he has COPD and doesn't feel well most of the time and therefore chops my head off more quickly than maybe he otherwise would.
I have been a good, loyal, trusting and open friend to him for all this time, and this is the thanks I get. You know, sometimes it just doesn't pay to be friends with people. I wish I could win the Lottery so I could go live, with my animals, on some lonely mountain top and not have to be treated unkindly by people I was good to.
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The Chaos Dearest creature in creation,
Study English
pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps,
horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat
grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my
prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord
and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how
it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as
plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but
bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show,
poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter,
laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles,
similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and
far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet
does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and
flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous,
viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your
pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded,
grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy,
famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb,
bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme
with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt
but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal,
mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query
does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost,
post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the
differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not
rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate
and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and
heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle,
disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait,
promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator,
mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea,
idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern,
cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien
with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye,
I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure,
skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie. Face,
but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large,
but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven
is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey,
donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation
-- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you
lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or
tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle
of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes
with enough-
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has
the sound of cup.
My advice is to give it up!!! -Gerald Nolst Trenite (1870-1946)
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I lovvvvvvve that show "Celebrity Ghost Stories." Check it out! It's on "Bio" channel and it's really good.
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Sciatic pain. Ouch. Owwwwwwwww. I need someone to stick their elbow in my lower back or upper thigh or somewhere back there. This pain! Here I am in Los Angeles feeling like no one else is awake - I'm lying around on my couch tonight unable to get comfy and unable to sleep. Woe is meeeeeeeeee.
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Hello, Everyone,
I need a general contractor type person who can come into my little rental hut and help me with a few things. If you are in Los Angeles, or in the vicinity, and will work for cheap or for trade (i've got a skilled trade that we can barter for if you are ok with that), then please do write. Thanks very much!
o.
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I have been having STRANGE dreams lately. I'm interested in hearing other peoples' STRANGE dreams. (Please, don't make stuff up just so you sound interesting. Eventually, the truth will come out anyway.)
Please do write. I'd like to hear all about your dreams. Thanks!
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I am trying to make a decision as to whether to adopt an African Grey parrot or not. I know I am a competent person as far as giving them the correct care both emotionally and physically. But what I hesitate about is - does having a parrot make me less attractive as a potential slave to a man? Please do email me if you have an opinion - or personal experience in either regard (as a Dominant or as a submissive) - and let me know your thoughts and experiences. Thank you in advance!
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What the heck? I am told I should be patient and yet day after day, no email. How long should I wait before realizing I've been blown off? But yet if I write with a gentle, "Hey, you still out there?", I am told that I am impatient.
:::::scratches head:::: Oh, well.. Only time will tell. Let's hope for the best, eh?
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I went and saw a "previously owned" bird a few days ago. He is terrified of me, and semi-terrified of his current owners (of three years). Before they acquired him, he apparently was dumped on the doorstep of a pet store, poor thing.
Apparently the bird was fine when they got him. However, due to these people not educating themselves before purchasing the bird, the bird is now timid and afraid of everything new (even new toys and new foods), and if you get too close, he growls and flashes his pupils at you.
I would like to take this bird, rather than purchase a newborn bird. Just like dogs and cats, there are so many birds that end up in shelters or euthanized because an impulsive owner decided down the line that the bird really doesn't fit into their family, or gee, he takes up too much time now that they have three kids and not just one, or gee, they didn't realize the bird needed to be talked to and petted every day or it would turn into a terrified, growling, clicking, feather-puffing, biting, pupil-flashing monster.
Anyway, I have the time to devote to this poor creature. But I don't want to pay their asking price. And in fact, the advertisement for this particular bird has been up for a month. The price has dropped and dropped and dropped, almost daily, yet no one is buying the bird. The fact of the matter is, the people who are selling him are only focusing on the price they paid, and trying to recuperate as much of that price as they can, but they don't seem to realize that the bird is worth zero (monetarily) now. In fact, they should be paying someone to take the bird off their hands and rehabilitate it. (Who knows if this can even be done - this particular breed of parrot is extremely emotionally delicate and if you fuck them up, a lot of times they stay fucked up for life.)
I am trying to figure out a nice way to say the above to these people, and convince them they should let me just take the bird off their hands. If anyone has any suggestions, it would be very appreciated. Oh, and if it matters, they are Armenian and I am American. (I have zero prejudice against Armenians but hey, if someone out there has a little cultural insight they can offer, I'm completely open.)
Thanks so much.
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Holy freakin' moly. I have felt as if I have an ice pick digging into my brain by way of my right eyebrow for some 20 hours now. The pain is intense and sharp and continuous, and pointed as if an ice pick were stabbing into me. And if pain had a color, it would be this color.
Anyway, hoping you are all well and happy out there in c/m land.
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:::::::waves:::::::
Hi, Aall!
~o.
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Whew! Another one done! Whew!!
So much pressure, so much rushing, so much fake interacting. I'm glad it's done! All in all, it went pretty smoothly this year and I even managed to not gain weight through it all. Whew!
How did your season go? My hope is that you are all relaxed and happy and healthy!
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lonely. :-( no one would ever guess it, tho.
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Top 10 states in the USA with the highest percentage of obese citizens: 1. Mississippi 2. West Virginia 3. Alabama 4. Louisiana 5. South Carolina 6. Tennessee 7. Kentucky 8. Arkansas 9. Indiana 10. Michigan
Ok, what's going on with Michigan? The other states are pretty much glommed up together but Michigan?? I don't get it.
It would be an interesting course of study to figure out the factors as to why those 10 states are the fattest of all 50, in my opinion.
Feel free to write with your ideas, and also, if you don't mind, let me know if you yourself are obese, overweight, regular, or underweight. (No negative judgment from me, by the way! I know how easy it is to gain weight and how difficult it is to lose, so don't worry about being honest with me.)
Hoping you are all doing well and cruising through this rather stressful time of year.
Warm regards, o.
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The grief and sadness I am experiencing right now is indescribable. How much more will The Universe toy with me? I feel like what a mouse must feel like as it is being tossed into the air by a cat, allowed to get up and limp away, only to be pounced on and batted into the air once again. Please, dear cat, fucking kill me, will you? This is no way to live.
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Wow, so last night I received an email from a man from this site who I had been talking with before my little guy died. Since the wound was fresh (a matter of one hour and twenty minutes) when he IMed, I told him "My bird died." Instead of giving some sort of condolences, he gruffly said "Ok, guess we won't be talking then." and signed off!!! I sent an offline IM saying "Umm, no need to keep in contact."
So last night, I get this SCATHING email from him accusing me of being "dramatic" and in love with drama, and that he's been watching my profile "for years" and it is "no wonder I am alone, with my love of drama" and that the proof is that on Saturday night instead of saying hello that the first thing I said was "My bird died."
Has the whole world gone insane??? He proceeded to tell me that he knew from the first day that I would not follow through and that if I want honesty from others I should start with myself and that I am this and I am that and on and on and on. Realllllllllly, people, has the whole world gone insane??? Can a person not mourn a loved one - be it a grandmother or a pet bird - for even an hour and twenty minutes without being accused of being a drama queen? Has the whole world gone mad, really? Can someone please answer me that? :::shakes head sadly:::
Ha - I just thought - if he one day sees this journal entry, I just realized it will further his "proof" that I am a drama queen and don't realllllllllly want to be a slave. After all, if I were a REAL slave, I'd have simply gotten on my virtual knees and begged him to take me to be his slave, and not have even made mention of my tears of sorrow over a beloved pet who died suddenly and unexpectedly in my hands not even two hours before..
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I miss you, little guy. 03-04-05 - 12-05-09.
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My little feathered green bean died tonight. Twenty-five grams of feathery joy has gone on to birdy heaven.
I rescued him from a cruddy life and thought I was doing such a noble thing. But it was he who did the noble thing just by being in my life. He brought joy and love and sweetness to my existence for four years. In that short time he taught me love and patience and forgiving of myself for my mistakes.
What took him so suddenly tonight, I do not know. He died in my hands as I frantically dialed the emergency veterinarian, and I cannot stop crying right now. WHY was I dialing the phone instead of trying to comfort my dying friend??????
I miss you, little fellow, and I hope that you are flying in sunny skies with all your favorite toys and plenty of food and no earthly stress anymore. xoxoxoxox
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How can that cop killer's family and friends keep him hidden? Don't those people have consciences? I hope when the cops find him - and they will - that they beat the crap out of him. Rest in peace to the four officers of Lakewood Police Department, Washington.
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depressed.
very, very down.
empty.
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Has anyone else noticed that your user notes sometimes disappear? You go look at a profile that you KNOW you put notes on, and for some reason they are gone now. What's up with that, C/M?
Also, to those of you men on here who are new on this site and sending out one-line emails: I realize you are new to the site and probably on the site 22 hrs/day,
and therefore throwing out hundreds of quick emails to lots of girls,
and that you are in your "honeymoon phase" with the site, but to those
of us who have been around here for a while now, and want a solid LTR,
and not just quicky fly-by emails, well, frankly, the one-line emails
you are so fond of sending are annoying. You are using EMAIL, email, not IMs, and
yet you are treating EMAIL like it is IMs.
My response when I read these oh-so-common one-line emails is usually a simple, "Ugh," as in, "Ugh,
not another one. Not another guy who is just so in love with all this
bullshit, and he just wants to keep stimulating his 'I'm so excited'
receptors in his brain, that he is going to write me fifty one-line emails
in the space of seven hours, and in a day or two forget allllll about me." Got it? Make sense? Maybe go back and read this paragraph again - I have a feeling I have lost you.
I don't
expect that many of you newish men on this site are doing anything but glaring or rolling your eyes now. But
hey, it's true, what I wrote, whether you can appreciate it or not.
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I had dinner with a good (male) friend Thursday night who knows I'm
submissive (and is trying to figure out if he himself is Dominant or
not). He's a really good friend and has seen me in some good and
not-so-good times in my life. Anyway, I made dinner for him at his
house Thursday night and then massaged him and then after, we had the
dessert that I had made. (I'm a massage therapist and that is actually how
we met. He came to me as a client years ago and a platonic friendship developed.) I got the nicest compliment when I was over there - he looked across the
table at me and said, "Some day you are going to make some lucky guy
very happy. You're really an exceptional person, you know."
Awwwwww. :-) That made my week!
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in........som......ni........a.......
I think I am the only person awake in Los Angeles right now, at 2:33 AM.
Sweet dreams to all.
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As a child, I loved Halloween. I suppose I still do as an adult. But I grew up in the northern part of the Midwest and it was collllllllld and snowy many of our Halloweens. We were poor, too, so Mom always made our costumes.
Only now as an adult do I realize how tough it must have been when, as the sometimes warm and sunny days of mid-October suddenly turned to gusting howling winds and six inches of snow, how tough it must have been on my mother to somehow figure out how to stuff long underwear on underneath my little sister's leprechaun outfit or my ...arrgh, I can't remember what I was, but I remember it was nothing with flowing fabric (like a witch) where having extra clothes on would not be a big deal.
Only now as an adult do I realize how important it was to exampine every piece of candy to make sure there were no obvious signs of tmapering having occurred. And all the more difficult with kids surrounding her saying, "Come on, Ma! Hurry up! It's all fine! No one would ever hurt us!" (All kids think bad stuff only happens to other people, right?)
Only now as an adult do I realize how tough it must have been on Mom, after last minute extras to costumes, running around making candy apples for Girl Scouts, taxi-ing us to sports practice or band practice and so on, that she then had to get up at 3 AM to console a small child who had stuffed herself full of Bit-O-Honey and now didn't feel well.
So on this Halloween, let's take a moment and remember, and salute, our moms for all they did. I'm not a mom, and never will be, but now, as an adult, I realize just how much pressure she put on herself, and how much work she put in, to make our traipse through the snow in green felt costumes and homemade bags for the loot, so joy-filled and fun.
Miss you Mom, more than you can ever know.. xo
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Ummmmmmm, whackjob alert, everyone! I received an email from someone and rather than tell him that his profile gave me the willies and his picture reveals the eyes of a sociopath, I simply wrote him to say thank you but I am not currently seeking. Here is the response I got (oh, and of COURSE he has blocked me so I could not reply):
If you are not seeking then change your profile to reflect that fact.
Until you do you are just playing games. Toying with anyone stupid
enough to believe you are not just another gamer on here. Believing you
to be honest and expecting you to be truthful. But then you couldn't
complain about the contacts you do get, ridiculing their attempts to
get to know you if you weren’t playing games to sucker them in.
You
are a fraud, and deceitful getting some kind of perverse pleasure from
the game you are playing. You disgust me. Only if karma would return
your games 10 fold. I hope you get what you deserve. -xslohands
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Another sad email: "Wd love to get to know u more. Tell me more abt u." When I complained to him, he replied indignantly, like he could not believe I had a problem with him writing to me as he had. My reply:
It's just that it comes off badly. And then when you say you want to
know more about me when I have a huge profile, and journal entries that go on for a mile, it's just rude. I mean,
why do you even want to talk to me? Didn't you read my profile and see
something basic in me that you wanted to get to know? Or do you just
email every female on this site? And if you do that, then why would I
want to bother with you? After all, that means I am not special in your
eyes and I'm just wasting my time. I mean, it would be like going to a
New Year's Eve party covered in a cardboard box with two holes in it
for your eyes, and you walk up to women and want to talk to them, but
they have no idea who you are or what you are all about. Yet from what
those women look like, sound like, how they interact with others, and
so on, you can tell you want to get to know them. Yet all any of those women can see of
you is that you are a walking cardboard box.
I know my metaphor isn't perfect but hopefully you get the idea.
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Does anyone know where I can get a pan repaired? I don't remember what store I bought it at, and I don't have the receipt. But it's a good pan and now it is leaking. I'd like it repaired or replaced but have no idea how to go about doing this. (It HAS to be cheaper to repair it than to go out and buy a new pan, right???)
Thanks in advance! :-) And don't forget: Happiness is largely attitude, and not what happens to you or what possessions you have! So change your attitude for the better and watch your mood improve!
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I just can't sleep tonight. Here it is 5:30 AM and I am still awake. I know I have a lot on my mind, but sheesh!
I came on here to browse the "Recent Journals" section and what do ya know, I got a few pieces of email. One of them was from a guy who ripped me a new one and I was quite taken aback.
I'm the nicest person in the world, and sometimes peoples' words on here in their emails are quite hurtful. If you have the urge to go off on someone in an email, maybe take a moment and realize that a real person is going to read your words, and be impacted by them, eh? Just a suggestion..
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I've been up almost all night. I did have a nap from 3 AM to 5 AM, but would have preferred to have slept for another six or seven hours. I have been sleeping in this same pattern of two-ish hour naps in the middle of the night for about a week now. I guess I have a lot on my mind, namely that I am not making a living and how each month flies by and then rent is due again. It seems wholly unfair that I work so hard and can't get ahead. But I suppose business has never been my strength, and what my strength lies in is submission and service, and no one is hiring for that position, that's for sure.
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Now that "Rescue Ink Unleashed" has come out on the National
Geographic Channel, the world of animal rescuing will never again look the same. Ten beefy guys ranging in age from about 35 to the 75-year old Banto go a knockin' at the doors of animal abusers and animal neglectors in New York City, and educate, coerce, and manipulate (in a good way) the abusers into taking better care of their animals. And if they don't? "Ok, then we're takin' the dog! Either you do better, or you're losing your dog!"
With lines like "You don't send in the Boy Scouts to
get the bad guys," "and, "We're the Army for the animals," these 10 guys
are crusaders to save helpless, abandoned, neglected, and abused animals in their home town of New
York City. Change you ways, abusers, or give up your animal is their
message. And they'll be back, unannounced, real soon to see that you have changed your ways.
With four to ten sets of tattoos and muscles and street-wise eyes, what low-life animal abusing coward is going to argue? The show is giving a leg up for the most innocent of creatures - the animals that trust their human companions to provide, protect, and care for them as they should have been doing all along.
Miguel, a 40-ish year old man, was visited by the burly boys in regards to his dog Zeus. Zeus was confined to a tiny (TINY) cage OR he was left in the basement downstairs. He lived in filth - his own feces and urin were everywhere - and he had no water. An old couch had been shredded by poor Zeus, no doubt in frustration at being a young, healthy dog who was confined and got little or no attention from Miguel and little or no exercise.
"Big Ant," a man who appears to be about 10 feet tall and about 300 lbs, politely told Miguel how living in your own waste is not acceptable, and how disease is spread this way, and how it's just plain gross. And guess what? He had Miguel shoveling shit in no time, and the basement was soon cleared of the poop. "There! How hard was that?" says Big Ant to Miguel. And a few weeks later when they stop by, the house is cleaner, Zeus is happier and obviously has been exercised, and Miguel's attitude of Zeus being the problem has evaporated. Good job, Rescue Ink! And a few weeks later, the hosue is even cleaner, and Zeus has finally been neutered (again, thanks to Rescue Ink explaining why this is a good idea to Miguel, who was ignorant till then).
With any luck, there will be "Rescue Ink" chapters popping up all over the country. And in the meanwhile, if you know of a neighbor or relative who is not taking care of their animal, either out of cruel intention or out of just not knowing any better, PLEASE phone your local chapter of your animal protection society. Call the pound, call the police, call 411 and ask who to call. Just call someone - the animals who are suffering certainly can't call for help, and are depending on humans to do it for them.
Good job, Rescue Ink, and good job, National Geographic Channel for choosing to put this show on the air!
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Does anyone else around here get grossed out when they look at a man's profile and he is 58 and 85% of his listed friends are girls aged 18-25? Eww..
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There sure do seem to be a lot lot lot
of men on here who have lost their last slave to drunk drivers or
breast cancer. I don't know a single person in my real life who has
lost a wife or gf to a drunk driver yet there seems to be hundreds of
them on this site. And I only know one person who lost her life to
breast cancer but she was older. All these slaves who died of breast
cancer on here are in their 30s and 40s. Maybe being submissive leaves
you more susceptible to breast cancer and drunk drivers is all I can
figure. EDITED TO ADD: For those of you who don't realize it, the above is written sarcastically! I do not for one second think that being submissive leaves you more susceptible to breast cancer or drunk drivers! What I do think is that there are a lot of lying men on here who will say anything to get sympathy and thus the upper hand on a woman on here, and get in her pants! And by anything, I mean that they will actually lie and say their wife died of breast cancer, or their slave was taken from them by a drunk driver on her way home from volunteering at the old folks' home on her one day a month off, just as she was about to go by the food bank and drop off groceries. Sheesh!!
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Dear New Dominant Man That Just Discovered This Site Within The Past Year Or So,
When you sign onto this site, there is a column on the left side with
headings like "Home," "Message Boards," "Chatrooms," "Edit Journal,"
"Help," and so on. I strongly suggest you click on "Message Boards" and
peek around. Just take 20 minutes/day (uninterrupted by meaningless sex
chat with these girls in your buddy list) and read.
Take in
the words, and give them some thought. There are a ton of topics and a
ton of different perspectives. Just cruise through those posts for 20
minutes/day or so, more if you can, and open your mind to the
information. This will help you become a more secure Dominant and a
more confident Dominant. Right now, you are new, and you don't get this
at all. Right now you are coming off like a big bully, a
blowhard who just wants his dick sucked and to hell with the slave's
emotional security. Right now you are embarrassing yourself and not
even knowing it. Right now you are pompous and cocky, and not at all
strong and confident.
I am taking the time out of my day to
write you this out of kindness. I hope you will take my words as the
gift that they are, but I suspect your ego will win out over your
brains.
Please .. go read the Message Boards. You'll learn a
lot in a short time and become a better person for it. Don't let your
ego murder your success.
Most sincerely, ohhhh2callyouSir
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A nice gentleman recently asked me in email why I do not list my weight on my profile. Here is what I wrote him:
The primary reason I don't list my weight on my profile is because I don't like my
weight. Another reason is men will do a search of "not heavier than
740," for example, so that leaves out people who are 741. Maybe they
would be perfectly happy with the woman who weighs 741. And maybe she
appears to weigh only 735. So to list my weight possibly would impede
the man of my dreams from finding the girl of his dreams.
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It is always more interesting to go on to the next girl, and
re-experience the thrill of a new face and new ideas but doesn't anyone
on here want depth? Permanence? Oh, well, it would seem not..
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I'm in a coffee shop and hanging out here, sipping a decaf and using their Internet.
I'm avoiding home because I spend enough time alone so I have treated
myself to the company of strangers, all tapping away on their own
computers, in a coffee shop in the snooty part of town. Anyway, about a half-hour ago I saw a story on the news (they have a tv on the wall and the sound is on mute with subtitles) about a 16-year-old boy in the area who died last night in a fire. He and his three dogs perished in the fire. Big round tears rolled down my face, and I cried my eyes out, right here in the coffee shop. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but what a tragedy.. It is too sad to even
comprehend.
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If you are in the Los Angeles area and can help me figure out my &%^$#*@ computer, and why when I go into chat rooms I get the whole "socket reset" thing all the time, then please, I'd like to talk to you. Thank you!! And the reason I'm hoping to talk with someone in LA is because if my computer needs tweaking to fix the problem, then obviously it would be helpful if I could drive to you. And yes, I have a computer guy, but I don't want to ask him about this because I don't want him to know I am a member of c/m. (He would FREAK OUT! And I'd have to chase him down and have him institutionalized so he could come back down to Earth. Eeeeeek!)
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Some mean person emailed me to say "U always online. Ain't u got no life?"
Well, let me comment on that, please. Yes, I am online a lot. I sign in, then I check mail and reply, then I leave myself signed in while I do other things on my computer. Or I may go mop a floor or put in some laundry, and come back and check mail again.
Another reason I am "always" online is I enjoy reading the journal entries of other people. For those of you who don't know, there is a button you can click on "Recent Journals" that takes you straight to the journal entries that have been made very recently. Granted, most of the journal entries are lame, but there are a few gems in there that are worth digging for. (And how hard is it to stop reading, once you realize you have a lame post on your hands? Just go on to the next one.)
And lastly, may I say that I am a SLAVE AT HEART, so yes, of COURSE I am going to be online quite a bit most days. I long to serve, be guided, loved, and love in return to a good Man. So of COURSE I am going to spend a considerable amount of time on c/m - it isn't like I can just go to the store and buy a decent, honorable, loving Dominant gentleman, now, is it!? :-)
Happy Saturday, everyone. May your day be filled with happiness and health. ~o.
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I am 45 today. Happy birthday to me. :-|
I thought I'd be farther along in life by now. I thought I'd have more, be more, and do more. I guess I'm a little embarrassed and a little ashamed and I feel kind of weird even writing this. But it is true.
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Just a suggestion and you can do what you want of course, but I every female on any website gets a lot of mail. If you want to stand out in the crowd, please write
more than a line or two. And especially if your profile is almost
empty, definitely write more than a line or two. Here, which of these
is more interesting, example A or example B? Which do you think makes the recipient want to
know more? Which do you think makes the recipient want to reach out and trust? Of the two examples, who do you
think is probably more knowledgeable and more motivated?
Example A: hi i a Dom in Minnesota. get back to me if u want to know more.
Example B: Hi
there, ohhhh2callyouSir!I'm a Dominant Male in Texas, age 43, divorced 15
years with a 14-yr old daughter who is with me every other week. Her
mother and I are on speaking terms and they live about 11 miles from me.
I
learned of my Dominant nature about 17 years ago and I have been
exploring it ever since. It is a natural part of my personality and I
find that my relationships do best when I am in charge and she
willingly follows.
Professionally I am a construction site
supervisor. My day starts around 7 AM and ends around 6 PM. Were you
mine, I'd expect you to be up with me at 6, fixing breakfast and
helping me get out the door on time and in good spirits.
During
the day you can do as you please. You can be at home or you can go out
to work or you can go to school or you can do volunteer work. I make
enough to cover our needs and your time in the day would be your own.
I
would like dinner to be ready or almost ready by the time I get home. I
always am home at 6, so this should be an easy accomplishment. I am not
a fussy eater but I don't like to eat a lot of junk. McDonald's is out.
Roast chicken and fresh corn on the cob at home is in.
Our
evenings will be spent either hanging out at home together or going to
do things like seeing a play, a movie, going dancing, having a cocktail
at an upscale bar with a view, or going to miniature golf.
You
will be controlled but not abused. You will be loved but I am no wimp.
You will be disciplined but not harmed. My level of control is strong,
but this occurs naturally over time. On our first date, you are allowed
to order dessert and ask if we can stop for coffee on the way home.
Once we are established, a good year or more down the road, I will
determine if you have dessert, and what you will have, and I will
determine if we stop for coffee on the way home or if we stop at a
remote location and watch for shooting stars.
Sincerely, and hoping to hear from you soon, Greg
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Ok, just a little helpful, albeit unsolicited advice, guys: Touching on each point of my profile and saying that you agree or disagree or are in
harmony with my view or are not, is not necessary, and is also somewhat
annoying. (I get a lot of those type of letters, as does every female
I've ever chatted with. The message is, "I'm a Dominant but I can't be
bothered writing my own letter, so I'll just use your profile as a
guideline and barf out yes/no to each point therein." UGH!) Come on, you can write your own original thoughts, yes? I don't need perfection, but going point by point through my profile and saying "Yes, I am that way," or "No, I don't agree" is just dull and unoriginal and kind of insulting, and un-Dominant, frankly.
Just trying to be helpful here.. Thanks for reading this and I hope you don't now think I am a bitch, because I'm actually very kind and gentle. :-)
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A friend of mine is bugging me to know what "dating site" I am on. I don't want to tell him because I don't want him to assume any of the usual stereotypes about what D/s is or what it means and what activities I must be participating in.
Ummm, any advice? He is a good, trusted friend, and I know he would not make fun of me, but I'm not really in the mood to educate someone on what D/s is, and what it isn't. And also I don't want to hear, "Oh, is THAT all it is? I know all about that Dom-sub stuff. It means you like to be tied up and spanked.." with a smug look.
I really don't know how to handle this request of his. He's a nice, kind, cool guy but I don't want to open this up and then worry forevermore what he is thinking about me and what I'm all about (since the stereotypes are alllllllllll wronnnnnnnng).
Oh, another thing I don't want to deal with is he'll no doubt look at a ton of other profiles on here. And we all know how 99% of the people on here are just kinksters and swingers looking for fast, meaningless sex with a little spanky-wanky thrown in. Ugh.. I don't want him to get the wrong idea of what I am.
Again, any ideas?
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Update
on the landlord situation: We talked. They want me to stay. I said I'd
stay if they fix the crap that is broken and if he keeps his cunt wife
away from me and if they lower the rent to a reasonable amount. It was
a long talk - but totally calm, reasonable, and civil (unlike when his
cunt wife is present, and she spews venom from her pretty little mouth
faster than a newborn with a cow's milk allergy spews diarrhoea). I was
my sweet submissive self and I was reasonable and civil, and he
responded well.
So my rent was reduced by 27% and is so much
more reasonable and fair. I feel much better, and they do, too. The
nasty passive-aggressive crap has completely stopped, and there is a
repairman coming over on Friday morning. Every bit of animosity I have
felt over the past six weeks has disappeared and I am feeling good
about staying here and not moving.
Plus, frankly, I have a
history of running from my problems so I am damned proud of myself for
standing my ground, being civil in the face of huge contention and
despair, and mending a relationship (the one with the landlords) that I
had thought was completely dead.
To think that I was standing
at my sink dry heaving 10 mornings ago, and today I feel completely at
ease and free, well, it's really something.
Thanks again to
those of you who have written me over the past six weeks offering your
support and kind words and help. Thanks especially to two certain men
who offered legal advice and more personal interactive support. (No,
not THAT, you bunch of perverts! heh heh..)
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I'm watching a movie tonight, "The Ballad of the Sad Cafe." If anyone understands the point of this movie, would you please write me? I don't get it..
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A friend of mine has disappeared. No explanation, no phone calls, no emails, not a thing. Hasn't been online in ages. Just gone.
I'm hoping there is some explanation, but it certainly seems odd. I'm a bit worried, truth be told. But I have soooooo much on my plate right now, and I guess I'm just too full, and have to put the worry aside, and just hope all is well.
My struggle with the landlords goes on. I came home to a note on the door saying they will be entering my home tomorrow to check for damages or whatever, and to show the place to a contractor or workman. Whatever .. they want to come in and nose around and see if my claim that this place is uninhabitable is true or not.
I think about my life 20 years or so ago. I was so young and so brave and so fearless. Now I just want to hide under the bed, or go live on a remote island, never to be seen or heard from again. Really, I feel traumatized and terrified and I'm really wishing I knew a landlord-tenant attorney person in Los Angeles, or even just somewhere in California, now.
Thank you to all who have written kind words over the past week or so. Your words mean so much to me, and your kindness touches me from all over the country and world. So thank you, thank you, so very much.
I am gong to bed now. Err, couch.. couch now. (The bedroom is literally stiflingly hot and I can't sleep in there, so I've spent this summer on my couch.) Goodnighty, all..
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I haven't decided whether to pack, or not pack. I haven't decided whether to sell off most of my belongings or keep things. I haven't decided whether to stay in southern California or move to a new city. I haven't decided whether to move to Arizona or Florida or where. I haven't decided whether to sell everything and just travel around in my car for a while and be a hippie. I am just not good at making decisions, especially under stress.
Have any of you been in a similar position to mine in your past? If so, if you'd like to write to me about your experience, and tell me what you wish you had done or were glad you did, or what you'd do differently, I'd welcome those emails very much.
Thanks to everyone who chooses to write. Happy Sunday evening.
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I'm so tired that I can't fall asleep. Oh, wait, that is not it. I'm being bullied at home and am scared of these people and my mind won't turn off and allow me to sleep.
Umm, flight or fight, anyone??
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I'm so tired that I can't fall asleep. Oh, wait, that is not it. I'm being bullied at home and am scared of these people and my mind won't turn off and allow me to sleep.
Umm, flight or fight, anyone??
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Ok, I just came across this old email of mine that I sent someone who accused me of being "a liberal whacko Californian." Here is the first part of it:
<<<<<< You are such a self-centered jackass. I am not liberal, and I don't
care if you are liberal or are not liberal. I look at the person, you
see, not whether they are liberal or if they live in a blue or red
state or if they carry a gun or carry a platinum card. I don't care if
they drive a pickup truck or a Lexus. I don't care if they wear denim
or houndstooth. I don't care if their favorite food is a scrambled egg
sandwich or beef wellington. >>>>>>>
Just wanted to give y'all a little insight as to how I am and how I think. :-)
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Ummm, does any person on this site know the difference between BDSM and D/s? Seriously, sit and think about it a moment. Do you know what the difference between the two is?
If not, it is worth a little research to find out. You will be able to find what you seek in a partner more easily, and you will be able to answer other peoples' questions more easily, and allow them greater insight into who you are. So please, jump onto the message boards here (look in the left-hand column for "Message Boards" when you first sign on) and look at some of the writings on there, or simply Google some keywords. |
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The lunacy at home continues. I made one last attempt at telling them that I was willing to try to come to a peaceful conclusion to this, but the aggressive, ball-bashing, witch of a woman started with the insults again and telling me how I am wrong and that I don't remember anything and that every thing I say is not how she heard it from her mom. (Well, duh! Like the mom is going to be truthful!)
I've tried so hard. I'm so tired. I am just so very, very tired. How I long to serve a good man, and get the hell out of L. A. But that's another issue entirely. But I can't help think about it all the more now that I find myself in the middle of Hurricane Bill, California style.
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I am in crisis mode. I have rented from three crazy people and now I'm finding myself on the funny farm, unable to get out of a lease. Plus, they have accused me of non-payment of rent (untrue) and are looking to EVICT me. Me! Eviction! Here I have paid my own way for 27 years in life, and now I'm being evicted. What the hell!?
I wish I knew a landlord-tenant dispute attorney. This is UNFAIR but I have no idea how to take care of myself right now. I wrote to the last man I served, who read and then didn't respond to my email. But you can bet next time he's in town, he'll call me up for some sex and to get his big ol' ego stroked. (Ain't gonna happen. I always remember people who don't help others when the person is in a true crisis.)
I was getting ready to go to the court house this morning to respond to their eviction notice and found myself vomiting (dry heaves..the worst) at the sink, unable to stop. I am too delicate a soul for the harsh town called The City of Angels/Los Angeles. I belong out in the sticks somewhere, communing with nature, surrounded by daffodils and bullfrogs. Instead, I'm smack in the middle of these three Type-A personalities coming at me with their machine guns.
I am so very alone, and in such a very dark place.
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LOL .. Another one bites the dust! Bomp, bomp, bomp! Another one bites the dust!
Ok, this guy was so rude and nasty, and condescending, so when he wrote me and said he is a "strick dominate," I had finally reached my limit.
I decided to not correct his "strick" (strict) and all I wrote was "Dominant! Not dominate! Good lord!!!"
For some reason he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Boo hoo.. :::giggles:::
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Spent the day in the ER today. No insurance - can't wait for the frigging bill on that one. Anyway, I'm ok physically now, thankfully.
Was looking at mail from six months ago. I am slowly clearing it all out, and I'm also looking through what I wrote so as to remember my life as it was back then. (Wow .. I sound like I'm talking about decades ago, not six months ago.)
I was, at the time, discussing the difference between D/s and BDSM with a gentleman on here. He would not hear it that he was looking for BDSM exclusively, and that that just isn't me, and that I'm seeking a male-led relationship of a D/s nature, and if that person wants to include BDSM, then that is fine, but BDSM is not my main focus.
The gentleman would not hear it. I got fed up. I sent this email to him. You can only imagine what came back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gerard,
Anyway, if you had
read my profile, you'd have known that you and I are seeking different
things. You're seeking kinky sex, and I'm seeking a relationship where
the man is the leader, and that comes naturally, not where he likes to
dress up in cheap leather vests and black Levis and swing a flogger at the local club every Friday night.
Way different, and I wish men would stop, slow down, and read what a
woman takes the time to write in her profile. That way I wouldnt have
to get my hopes up, only to be asked in the third line of our first IM if I like to be
nipple-clamped or whatever the hell the guy's favorite kink is.
I'm probably talking to a wall.
o.
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Well, it appears I have been abandoned yet again. I have been talking to a gentleman for a couple of weeks and he seemed truly trustworthy and kind and good. Last night we were having trouble maintaining a conversation because my computer kept overheating (don't buy an HP!!!) and I kept getting frozen and having to restart, and of course leaving the damned thing to cool off for a few minutes (with the fan on my table pointed at the computer full-blast).
He offered to buy me a new computer, and I took it as a joke at first, and then 30 seconds later realized he was probably being serious. I said, simply, "Wow, no one has ever offered to buy me anything in my whole adult life." I mean, I was simultaneously touched, and put on guard, too. (Why would someone offer to do such a nice thing for me? What is his TRUE motivation? I was being paranoid but at the time I was busy sorting out all the conflicting emotions in my head.) In the meanwhile, this Dominant man is apparently waiting on me to say yes or no, and I was just sitting there, thinking I had answered him when I said that no one had ever offered to buy me anything ever before, and so I was waiting for him to reply back to me.
After a while, I said, "Umm, are you there, (Name)?" He said, "I was hoping to get an answer from you." I told him I thought I had already answered, and put a smiley, then repeated my answer.
Terribly, he said, after 12 minutes, "Well it appears I have my answer, (my name)," and then signed off! I was left feeling completely flabbergasted. I mean, what the hell did I do wrong?? We were having a conversation and he was at work so I was being patient with the long pauses in between, and it turns out he was waiting on me to say MORE, when I thought I had answered him already, and was waiting in turn on HIM.
This is such a mess, and so sad. And what is really sad is that just two hours earlier I had said to him that if he ever decides he does not wish to continue with me, to please let me know, and to not just sign off and never talk again. It's really just so sad .. Two people who are kind and good and caring and care for each other, it seemed, and one is abandoned by the other because she doesn't know how to respond to the outrageous offer to buy her a new computer.
:::::::very heavy sigh::::::
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I'm so tired. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so alone. I don't have anyone to turn to. My life is so difficult right now and I'm trying so hard. I wish I had just one good friend in this damned city, or a sister, or someone I could turn to at times like this. I'm really down tonight.
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Heard from a so-called submissive male a little bit ago. What my thoughts are on this subject is this:
We all are what we are, and what I've learned over the years is most self-professed submissive
males are not submissive or Dominant. They are just horny dudes wanting
a female to have her way with them sexually (in other words, these self-professed submissive males don't want to serve at all, but want to be served by her). And there's nothing
wrong with that, but these men should not call themselves submissive, after
all.
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I am getting stressed out. I've been talking with a man a little bit - who knows what will come of it - probably nothing statistically speaking, but you never know, right? Anyway, lately he brings up clothes a lot - in almost every conversation, actually.
Well, I'm not the typical female with closets and closets of clothes. I'm envious of those girls, but with economics as they are now, I've been striving to not spend on the latest clothes. Also, I've never served a man who was into any sort of fetishwear, so I don't own any corsets or other such items.
And lastly, I'm 45, not 20. My body isn't what it used to be. I am not sure I have the confidence to prance around in some cute little outfit designed for the body of a 20-year old but cut to fit the body of a 45-year old. I mean, I'd feel silly and self-conscious and worry I was going to be ridiculed (like the last guy did to me).
Anyway, I'm getting worried. If we should meet, and I don't have the nice clothes he is clearly drawn to, then what? :-(
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Have you ever noticed that the people who proclaim "NOT INTO GAMES!!" in their profiles always turn out to be the WORST gamers on here??
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What a week. It's been one thing after another. And I know everyone has their "stuff" to deal with, but really, some weeks are just really tough. But I suppose it's all just part of life's rich pageant, eh?
I've been up now for 37 hours. Have you ever been so tired that you can't sleep? It is a unique experience, indeed!
Please, oh powers-that-be up there in the sky, please just let us all get along..
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It is very difficult to find a good match. I have been looking for a
long time myself, with very little success. I find most of the males
want no-obligation blowjobs, and that's it. They may like the idea of
Dominance, but really, they are almost invariably bullies who just want
sex, specifically blowjobs.
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I just love when people write me what a wonderful profile I have, and then I go to reply and say thank you, and they have me blocked. What the ..........
Ladeedah, lahdeedah, deedah....... The games people play..
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Today Farrah Fawcett and
Michael Jackson died. I am left feeling kind of blue - they were both
super-stars when I was young, and now they are both gone. Michael,
especially, is a shock, since he is only five years older than I.
I
wish I was not alone today, but here I sit, in a coffee shop, alone
with my thoughts. And you know, it isn't like I'm all weepy or
anything. I just feel melancholy because they were such big stars in my
growing up/coming of age years. Now where's my Geritol? And my cane?
They're around here somewhere.....
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Ten Great Reasons To Have Your Pet Spayed/Neutered:
1. Altered dogs, on average, live longer, healthier lives.
2. Female dogs spayed before their first birthday are 99.9% less likely to develop reproductive organ cancers.
3. Altered dogs behave better and are more focused on training.
4. You'll stop overpopulation. One female dog and her offspring produce 67,000 dogs in just six years. One dog can lead to sixty-seven-thousand dogs. One. Sixty-seven-thousand. Good gosh!
5. You'll stop homelessness. In this country, only one in four dogs finds a permanent, loving home.
6. You'll stop the killings. More than eight million surplus dogs and cats are destroyed each year because there are not enough homes for them. Taxpayers pick up the tab to the tune of $300 million per year.
7. Eighty percent of dogs struck by vehicles are unaltered males.
8. The majority of dog bites to postal carriers are from unaltered male dogs.
9. Pet licensing fees are lower in cost for altered dogs in many cities and counties.
10. Thanks to improved surgical and anesthaesia equipment and techniques, you can spay or nueter a dog as early as 8 weeks of age. Don't hesitate.
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Ok, so this 18-year old "Master" wrote me this morning. I saw his profile when I signed on, and I remembered thinking, "Oh, brother, what a child." Twenty minutes later, he has written me - no doubt because he's done a search for female slaves currently online in California. I almost deleted his mail unread, but I thought, "No, no, what if it's a young man respectfully asking for information or making a comment on something in my profile. Don't delete it as it may be someone sweet and kind and new to all this reaching out." So I opened it, and this is what I see (in its entirety):
what else does the slut want, the Dom to switch with u. Idiot, to much
crap and you think you r a slave. Gnats of the world strike this
insolent slut down. Or at least pester her like she needs
Good gawd! And this is our future! This child is soon to be out in the work force, soon to be making babies, soon to be a voting member of our country. Help us all, oh gods above, and powers that be!!
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Pet peeve of mine:Writing an email to me as if we are talking in IMs. Don't do that, ok? It's rude and annoying.
If you can't bother writing a complete thought out, and giving information about your life and yourself, then just go pester someone else, ok? You're like an annoying little gnat buzzing around my head at a summer evening party.
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I miss my friend. He is one of the first, if not the first, Dominant men I ever talked with. We "met" on AOL years ago (twelve, I think), and he was an almost weekly, sometimes daily, part of my life online for most of those years. He helped me grow, learn, and understand slavery. He called me on my goofs and cheered me on when I did well.
I never submitted to him, other than the occasional writing assignment when I was out of line or needed guidance, but I always called him "Sir." He just was a Sir, you know? Not doing so would be like meeting the President of the USA and saying to him, "Hey, Dude! What's up?"
About a year ago he confessed to me (more confirmed to me) that something is wrong medically with him. He had not been himself for a couple of years, and conversations were making less and less sense, and even his base personality seemed off-kilter. He finally told me a year or so ago that he'd been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's Disease back in 2006, when he was but 52 years old.
Nowadays he doesn't know who I am. He IMs me when I'm on AOL and says, "Who are you?" (Or, more likely, "Who you can do?" or "Who meeting?") He tells me he used to be a lawyer, and he "lives in Angeles" and has a girlfriend in France. He continues to ask me who I am and to tell him about myself. I cry the whole time and then suddenly, he signs off. I then go to my bed and bawl for 10 minutes or so.
I miss my friend.
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Welllll, it has happened again. A man and I had been chatting, getting to know each other, and he was talking about coming to visit me. We had what I'd call an actual friendship growing, and I thought, and he supposedly agreed, that even if it didn't work out between us as a D/s pairing, that we'd at least have made a new friend in the process.
Well, suddenly the phone calls aren't being picked up, and the email isn't being read, and then sure enough, bammo, the screen name is gone.
What kind of PUSSY can't just say, "Hey, I've changed my mind. I wish you well." Please, people, treat each other with kindness and respect. If you have decided, for whatever reason, that you and the person you've been pursuing for several months are not a match, be KIND about it and LET THE PERSON KNOW.
Just disappearing is rude, but more than that, it makes YOU look like a pussy, a wimp, a baby boy afraid to speak his truth. So send that email, or make that phone call. You don't have to make a big production of it - just a simple, "After getting to know you, it seems we are not the match I had hoped after all. I wish you well," is PLENTY, and is the kind and good thing to do.
Harumph!
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Gee, what's the problem? I simply asked for a postcard from a guy I've talked to on and off over the years, and since he's in a far-away land that is no doubt beautiful and interesting, I asked politely for a postcard. What does he say in return? "What is in it for me?" WTF, man??? Can't you just send a postcard without having to be paid off???
Anyway, here's my response to him. And the reason I am putting this here is because I figure you should know about me if you are going to talk to me. See, life is NOT 50-50. Some days one person is strong and giving and some days the other person is sick with a cold or has had a crappy day at work or just plain old doesn't know HOW to do a certain task, or possess a certain needed skill. So life is NOT 50-50, and if you believe that, you and I will NOT get along.
Anyway, here's my response to him after he replied back to me, asking what is in it for him if he graces my mailbox with a postcard:
Just forget it. You remind me of my ex.
"I will take out the garbage if you will give me a blowjob." "I will make some photocopies for you at work if you will mow the lawn." "I will wash the dogs if you will go grocery shopping."
WTF,
dude? Life is NOT like that. Life is, "I love you (or like) and I want
you to be happy, so I am HAPPY to do this for you. You don't have to
ask me, and you don't have to bribe me. And I don't expect anything in
return for being good to you." THAT is what LIFE is, you stupid greedy
pig.
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Don't you just love when someone gets their panties in a wad, blocks you, and then a month later writes you and invites you to chat??? I just love when that happens. So then of course I don't reply (since I can't!!), and the person writes again to tell me what an elitist stupid bitch I am for not replying to his email!!! Jeez.. Life on this site! Wow!
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Ok, guys, if you don't floss your teeth every day, then you have bad breath, k? Trust me on this, I know of what I speak.
Flossing isn't so much for the purpose of removing huge hunks of food from between your teeth as it is for removing the thin laters of plaque that set up shop at the gumline. And then guess what happens? The plaque makes all kinds of stinkies for ya, and when you speak or exhale, the stench wafts across the table and grosses out your coworkers, your kids, your pet dog, and me, your date for dinner for the evening!
So please, guys, start flossing every day, at least once, but all the better if you floss after each meal. And yes, at first your gums will bleed (proof that you haven't been taking care of yourself), and you will feel clumsy trying to manipluate your Big Domly Hands in your tooth-and-tongue-garage, but do it anyway. Soon you'll be flossing like a pro, and it will be as automatic as putting on pants every day.
And yes, this means you, and no, you are not the exception. Happy Flossing, Darlings. |
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I'm debating on moving from southern California all together. This state, and especially this town, are going down the tubes fast, and my soul is just much too delicate for this harsh environment anyway. And isn't twenty years enough scratching and scraping and clawing?
I long for a quiet existence, one of servitude and house-care and making sure my animals are well taken care of. I don't want to worry about if my car needs a tune-up or how much insurance is going to be since I live next to a crime-ridden area (not in one, just near enough one that it screws up my insurance rate). I don't want to chase down lame-ass clients who wrote a check that was made of rubber. I don't want to call clients, begging them to come see me so I can pay my over-priced rent and have nothing, or virtually nothing, left over for a new pair of panties or a shiny something or other to decorate my neck. I don't want to be able to sleep anymore through sirens and loud traffic and trash trucks as if I have on turbo-powerful earplugs - that just should not be "normal" to me, but yet it is, and has been, for two full decades. I don't want to hear Spanish, and only Spanish, everywhere I go. I don't want to live where the default language on store signs is Spanish, not English. I don't want to be glared at anymore by people with a sense of entitlement, who all but spew "Whitey, go home" at me with their dagger-filled eyes.
I make it sound like I live in a real hell. I don't. But I don't live where I want to, either. I don't live where my soul can just be, and where my heart can relax, and where I can fall into just living my true self, a self that isn't made for scratching and clawing out a living, and fending off mean people, and doing battle with crooked shopkeepers and hardened store personnel.
And on the other hand, if you live in Los Angeles, or the area, and happen to need a massage, well, I'm licensed, and damned good. Or if you need your house cleaned, or your dog taken care of, or your garage organized, well, I'm probably available, and would welcome the work.
Hoping everyone is doing well, and is happy. Thanks for stopping by.
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I am trying to decide whether to keep a certain friend in my life. She is draining me, but at the same time, I feel sorry for her, and everyone needs friends, and I'd feel a bit guilty ending our friendship.
But I'm exhausted every time I'm around her. She is like a small child with a zillion questions, but with adult-sized problems. And not only that, she loves to say "You are exactly right. Gosh, you're so smart. Wow, you sure know a lot," and the like, but then goes right back to f-ing up her life in the same exact way she was when she created the problem in the first place.
I'm especially bothered by the fact that she is in an abusive relationship (physically and mentally) and keeps going back to this person. She doesn't live with her, but yet she keeps going back. (You know, if someone called me a "fucking cunt" even ONE time, I'd NEVER talk to that person again, and if someone pushed me in public and caused me to fall on my ass even ONE time, I'd never talk to that person again -- and by the way, I'm talking about abuse here, NOT physical punishment or discipline, and NOT a verbal thrashing that many Men dole out if a girl gets out of line.)
So this girl calls me yesterday and is telling me her vagina is red and inflammed and there is "ooky stuff" coming out of it. Great. And why? Because she has been with whatzername, the lesbian loser from hell, for the past five days and nights. And as if that weren't bad enough, but she KNEW the girl was going out with others (in spite of them supposedly having an exclusive relationship, and the witch denying being with anyone else). So she KNEW her gf/abuser was fooling around on her, but she STILL chose to go be with her for five days and nights. And now she has what she is guessing is an STI. Well, no s---, Sherlock.
I just feel used and like a total asshole, frankly. I have listened to this girl cry and moan and complain for hundreds of hours in the past two months, and she keeps going back to her abuser! Now I am starting to feel like an idiot, for allowing her to keep on dumping her feelings and woes on ME. I mean, fuck me over once, shame on you. Fuck me over twice, shame on me. Fuck me over 45 times, way shame on me.
Maybe I should print this out and hand it to her. :::sigh::: |
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Wow.. |
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An FYI: I do have many more journal entries on my former proifles - ohhh2callyouSir and ohh2callyouSir and OH2CALLYOUSir. (The first time I changed my account, it was so I could have a lower-cased screen name. The second time I changed it, it was because I kept having people idiotically thinking I was a Dominant from Ohio. The third time I changed it, it was because my mail suddenly stopped working, and has NEVER worked again.)
I'm in the library using their computer right now. I suddenly had the WORST itch right under my left breast. Really, it was such a bad itch that I just HAD to scratch it. Well, the gentleman two computers away saw me and gave me this big grin. How embarrrrrrasssssgkingggg!
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Ok, so this KID contacts me, all of 30 yrs old, and gives compliments on my profile, and so on. I politely write him back. We exchange a few emails that are pleasant enough. Then we talk in IMs and I remind him that due to his age, we can not be anything more than pals, buddies, friends. He says fine.
In the meanwhile, we start chatting on yahoo. He asks me what I do for work, what part of LA I live in, and so on. I tell him, and he expresses interest in becoming a client. I say fine (knowing that 99% of people who say that are blowing smoke up my butt anyway) and that's that.
We continue to chat, and then he suggests he "come over to hang out." I say, "You mean, come over so you can try to stick your dick in me?" He says "If you want" or something along those lines. I told him I'm actually a slave, and am on here to be claimed by an actual Owner, and not on here to just find casual sex.
He protests, and I say "lol" and he gets angry and the insults start. (Whyyyyyy do people do that? Just move on!) He tells me that I should not use my collarme profile as a trick to gain customers. GOOD GOD, now I have heard it ALL!
Usually when I remind a young man that we can only be friends, he will say the "Age is just a number" thing or "But I like older women" thing or even "Ok, you old hag, whatevever" thing. But tonight, I get called a prostitute and insulted, and all this by a man who is likely only on this site to find easy pussy anyway. WOW! |
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I love when someone blocks you on Thursday and then sends you a note on Tuesday "winks" and then I think, "Ok, he came to his senses and realized he was being juvenilistic by blocking me," so I then go to answer him, and he still has me blocked. Ugh!
And speaking of juvenilistic - it's my opinion that writing in your journal that you are owned by DomLordSirBigDick and no one is to contact you and you have yourself for him and him alone for all eternity is just silly. It's ridiculous. It's junior-high-shoolish. You may well end up with DomLordSirBigDick for all eternity, but to put that in a profile is just silly. What, did HE make you write that? Did HE make you write it so no big bad Domly Ones are going to come after you? Did HE make you write it so that he can be assured his "property" won't talk to other men?
Either you are committed to each other or you're not. And a committed person could see a naked person lying on the floor in front of them screaming "Fuck me, fuck me now!" and step right on past that person, because they are committed to another.
To me, it's so simple, yet so many around here make these big proclamations as if that is going to keep the wolves at bay or keep one from cheating on the other. Absurd..
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Blah blah blah .. more of the same on here. "Hi, I'm a Dominant, and I'll reach out to you with a hello or whatever, but after that, I expect YOU to take the lead, determine all conversations, decide the rate that we'll talk, and make sure that I have wiped my ass after I take a crap in the morning. But I'm a Dominant, doncha know!!!"
It's just so bloody boring. |
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I have a ^$&#^@*!~({[# toothache and no *%$&#}{\=+ dental insurance. Come to think of it, I have no !+])@|#%^medical insurance, either. Hey, anyone with insurance want to marry me, please? heeheeee... j/k..
And another thing - what's with the people on here with seven-thousand friends? Do people refer to others so easily? I reserve that title ("friend") for a select number of people, m'self. But each to their own, I suppose. |
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Someone asked me tonight what my "limits" are. He said that he bets my top three are this, this, and kids.
Why in the hell would kids be a stated limit? Shall I also state that poisoning my enemies with anthrax is a limit? And that I won't rob a bank for you? And shall I also state that I won't participate in Devil-worship?
Think about it - what do kids have to do with any of this? I never have understood why people find it necessary to state they are not a pedophile. I mean, duh!
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If your screen name has "69" in it, please don't contact me as we are not a match. You have not moved beyond your adolescent fantasy-land and I don't want to fool with you.
:::smiles sweetly:::: |
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I must look cute today. Lots of men flirted with me while I was out and about. But yet a friend snapped a pic of me using her digital camera and I look terrible. I wonder why 2-D makes me look so bad? I wish I photoed better - but I don't. Hey, maybe in my next lifetime, right?
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I find it incredible that sooooooo many on here do not know the difference between Dominant and dominate. (And no, it isn't the cap or lower-cased 'D,' ya brainiac!)
This disturbs me, especially when the guy claims to have experience. How can he have experience if he doesn't even understand which word is used in which context? Anyway, I can't stand how prevalent this error is. Oh, and when I call you on it and you say, "Oh, it is just a typo," well, I know you are lying. A typo is this: Dominatn. Or even this: Domminant. A typo is NOT this: "I am a Dominate for twenty years now."
Come on, guys, get it right! You look like idiots! |
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Since so many have asked:
Yes, I ended up talking to my friend. I told her that submitting to men was a choice I had made, and that it was how my life ran best. I told her that when I am not in service to a man, I feel incomplete. And she was looking at me as if I was spewing green vomit and my head was spinning around, but oh, well..
Then I talked to her about the fact that what she did was the same as eavesdropping, or going through someone's private papers or medicine cabinet. She said that she only looked at my computer because she didn't realize I was doing something private. Well, duh! That's like if you walked straight into someone's house, unannounced, unexpected, and then are surprised that they are naked, or asleep, or taking a pee. I mean, goodness..
Anyway, that is that. Our relationship as two friends will never be the same, because she just doesn't understand, and now edits everything she says to me to fit in with the "new" me. But it is what it is.
Just wanted to follow up with this entry, since a lot of people asked me how I handled it, and if I'm ok. (And thanks, by the way - that was very kind of you all!) |
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Ok, tonight I was chatting with a gentleman on here, and things didn't go so well. I was polite, but he got angry when I told him, after chatting for about 20 minutes, that we would not make a good fit. He got angry and insulted me and called me names (whatever - no big deal - lots of men who pretend to be Dominant lose their temper when they are rejected, even politely) and then said, "Well you are just a loser anyway. You are willing to relocate so that means you just want some guy to take care of you, otherwise why would you be willing to move?"
Do people REALLY think that?? I mean, really? Could it not be that I've been self-sufficient since I was 17 years old, but I CHOOSE to submit to a man and I WANT to submit to a man, and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH my finances??? Jeesh! |
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Ok, so I was at the library today using their computer again. (Mine isn't set up yet at home, having just moved.) A friend of mine comes up behind me, and starts reading what is on my screen, unbeknownst to me. Well, what do you think was on my screen at the time??? THIS SITE, that's what!! Arrgh, ack, eeeeeek!
Well, she sort of flipped out. She's the typical (for this day and age) female feminazi who thinks men should be castrated and do as women say, and I (obviously) hold the opposite position.
She had to go, but said she wants to talk to me about this, and that she is concerned for my mental health, and physical safety, if I should "get with one of those Dom guys."
Does anyone have any suggestions? I really am uncomfortable talking to her about this, but she's a nice, nice person, and a decent friend. But I have found that unless you understand this, you won't understand it with ANY amount of explaining.
It's like that saying goes - if you get it, no explanation is necessary, and if you don't get it, no amount of explaining will do.
Anyway, I don't know what to do. And I don't have my reader glasses with me so I can't tell if this is the appropriate emoticon or not but I'm leaving it because I see it has a question mark appearing over its head. |
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Finally found a place to live a week ago. I really am looking forward to getting settled in. Right now, half my stuff is in one place, and half in the other. Like this morning, I went to put on a certain pair of boots and realized they are in the new place. So I had to change my whole outfit. Oh, well, still looked good.
I also found out why it was taking so long to get a place (well, at least partially). I have had my identity stolen, and someone has used my social security number to take out $39,000 in credit in just the past three months alone. So now, on top of a bunch of other dung to be dealt with, I now have to fight to get my good name and good credit restored.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I was walking through the grocery store earlier today and found myself welling up.l I miss my mom so much. You know, it's bittersweet, because many of the Thanksgivings in our house were chaotic and painful, ultimately, but still, there were lots that were superb, too. And besides, every thing turned out great with my mom and I, and then just a few years later, she was gone. And now, at times like Thanksgiving, I find myself thinking of her and missing her.
But, I have a roof over my head, and two lovely mutts that adore me, and food on my table, and good health, and clients who still call, so I am grateful and happy.
Heard a great joke today. What is red all over and smells exactly like purple paint?
Red paint. |
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The search for housing continues. I have never had such a hard time finding a place to live. There's no common element as to why I'm having difficulty - it just hasn't come together for me yet.
I'm sitting here at the public library using their computer. Mine is in Tennessee being repaired (for the second time in less than a year -don't buy an HP is my advice), so I am using the library's.
When I was a kid, I busted my butt studying and cramming information into my brain. EVERY kid around me is playing a video game (or an online game, as it were) and they are all hooked into each other. So when one person scores, they all giggle and look around at each other. No one is studying, no one is doing written homework, no one is reading. We're in for a scary world in about 10 years. |
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The extent to which some men on here can be cruel never ceases to amaze me.
Heads up - I'm a sweet girl who has a heart, too, you know, and being cruel is unnecessary. If you're not interested in me anymore, or just playing some horrid cruel head game, then just tell me to fuck off, ok? You don't have to pull out daggers and heat them up in a fire and stab them slowly up my rectum, thank you. :-( |
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I am still searching for a place to lay my head at night. I have been offered several places, but, really, none are quite the right match. One place, for example, was seemingly perfect, and then I asked to see the "good-sized" yard. Umm, 3 feet by 10 feet is NOT a good-sized yard! What the heck??
Another place was terrific, except for the neighborhood. The little hut was beautifully done, but the gang-bangers walking up the street were a little off-putting. (And to think that just ten short years ago, that was a GREAT neighborhood. But I haven't been over there in so long, and things sure have changed.)
I saw a place recently that was lovely, but it had no stove. How does one do life with no stove? I would have put up with it, though, for around $400 less per month.
And I saw a little cute place recently but when I opened the drawer in the kitchen, there were mice .. umm ... pellets. Umm, eww.. umm, yucky-yucky! Noooooo! The Bulgarian lady saw my startled expression and said, "What, you no have seen a leetle mouse before? What? What iz wrong? You not afraid, no?" Ok, where the hell's the door? No, I'm not afraid, but I am GROSSED OUT!!!
Well, I never knew that this search would be so chock-full of challenges. Challenges, yes, so frequent, so intense, and so difficult. But I'm putting one foot in front of the other. Surely, all this effort will pay off.
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Moving BLOWS. I still haven't found a place.
There's only one place I'd really like to be, but apparently that is not going to happen right now.
All I know is my slave heart is longing to serve and I'd rather be doing that than searching through ads and lame-ass liars and time-wasters who want ungodly amounts of money for the tiniest crap-hole that I would not let a pet cow live in, never mind myself and my good girl bow-wows.
Really, why am I alone? Why am I still searching? Maybe my focus is so tunnel-visioned that I don't see good men when they approach, or maybe I am scared of being burnt (to a blackened crisp, by the way) again. Many a man writes to tell me I seem like such a good candidate, but they are not a suitable match because of this or that factor (usually smoking). And I do appreciate the compliments, really, I do, but it also is somewhat painful, as I am reminded that yet again, so close yet no cigar.
Anyway, moving BLOWS. And if you know of a guest house or tiny house available, please do write. I am in the Los Angeles area but by NO means am I glued to this nasty place, otherwise known as northern Mexico. So if you know of a place, please, please write.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you are having a lovely, productive, happy day.
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Just can't sleep. It's almost 4 AM and I am so tired, yet unable to fall asleep.
I'm watching "Crime 360" and it is centered in the "big city" that is closest to where I grew up. I had forgotten how very green the rest of the country is. It's a lush, deep, bright green, and seeing it makes me want to move from Los Angeles and go somewhere where I can lie on the grass in the summer and feel cradled by the gentle breeze. Ahh, a nice thought.
I was asked to meet a man last night. I didn't meet him. He had gently pressured me for a couple of weeks, and now that I won't meet, here come all the insults and borderline abusive emails. And yet he ends the most recent email with "I wish you well in finding the Dominant you so richly deserve."
What, people can make nasty, hateful, vile statements about you, but it is supposed to be ok because they end the email politely, and wishing you well? Has the world gone mad??
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ok, so once again i have been duped and played.
how funny that a man would stoop so low as to pretend to be Dominant so that he could get a maid and some sex. for that is all i can surmise from the recent interaction i had with a gentleman. he is overworked and overstressed and a lil lonely so he says he is Dominant so that he can get some girl to move to him and clean his place and cook for him and be wtih him sexually. how bizarre - after all, he has enough money to just hire a maid and a whore. :::shrugs::
i do wish people would be honest with themselves, even if they are not honest with others.
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Long difficult day again today, but *someone* very interesting showed up in my mailbox, and he's been in my thoughts pretty much ever since.
I've had this feeling of fluttery tummy and excitedness before, only to be disappointed in the near future. But this time, with this Man, it somehow seems different from before.
It sure would be nice to finally, finally be in full service to a man of HONOR who I can TRUST and RESPECT. And it sure would be a new experience, indeed.
I'm still looking for a new place to live. I've been on a roller coaster of "almosts" for a few weeks now, and really, this feeling of not being settled bothers me immensely.
I'm home-oriented, and having two-thirds of my belongings in boxes and spending almsot all my free time making phone calls and going and seeing places and answering emails regarding places is exhaaaaaaaaaussssstinnng. I really want to get somewhere, get settled, and resume living my life.
And perhaps soon, as a slave.
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As I have written before, every day, I get at least one email complimenting me on my profile, and who then proceeds to, oh, about the third or so email exchange, say to me, "Tell me about yourself."
Fellows, listen. Girls like me who have taken time to write a complete profile and really make an effort to convey who they are and what they seek, just don't appreciate that line. This is especially true when the person in question has little or even no profile. Telling me you live in California (or Texas or NY) and are a Male Dominant and are seeking a female submissive is not all that helpful. And when that is the entire extent of your profile, and then you turn around and ask me to tell you about myself, it is downright obnoxious.
Think about it. You contacted me because you enjoyed reading my profile and journal entries, and you want to get to know me more. So don't you think that I, the recipient of your email, would also like to see some information about you in your profile??
Anyway, for those of you too lazy or too incompetent to figure this all out, here are some starter questions for you to answer when writing to me. Sorry, but I do not have the time to lead you men around by your little itty-bitty balls!
::::::smooths ruffled feathers:::::
Ok, on to the list. (And keep in mind, these are just starters. Tell me about yourself and answer these questions, or write a ^%**#*#&!)$# profile, for goodnessssssss sakes!!
1. What do you do for work? Do you enjoy your work, or is it more just a way to pay the bills? 2. How many kids do you have? Boys or girls? Ages? 3. Are you single, married, separated, divorced? 4. What city are you in? What's the population of that city? Is that the city in which you grew up? 5. Do you have any pets? 6. Do you smoke cigs or pot? Do you drink? 7. When you are not working, do you have any hobbies or other interests you are passionate about? 8. What books are you currently reading, if any? 9. Are you a night owl or a morning lark?
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Today I turned 44. I'm alone, my dad will, once again, forget my birthday, and I want to be in service to one good man, but am instead packing boxes for a move that I really am too tired to concentrate on.
My life goes by so quickly the older I get, and at this rate, I just wonder why I am even here. Time goes by, and really, I want to be in service so very much, and here I am, still talking to people on this site, and still being lied to, tricked, manipulated, and the like.
Ok, I'm going to the beach as a birthday present to myself. But to hell with this day.
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I am searching for a new place to live. The dust and dirt and soil and ants and spiders and crazy landlady and broken locks that don't get fixed for two weeks have finally pushed me over the edge.
She lives in her mansion and has her cleaning lady and her crew of Mexicans to fix whatever goes wrong in her place, so what does she care about my situation? All she cares about is my money. And I have had enough.
It's a pain (SUCH a pain) to move again after only one year, but why allow myself to be treated like this? She has shown me who she is and now it is up to me to find a new place to lay my head at night.
I can't even decide if I want to stay in Los Angeles or sell all my stuff and jump in my lil green car and go on a great adventure, traveling across the country and see where I land.
:-) Wish me well!
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A young Dominant friend of mine said to me in IMs recently: Sometimes I am just angry at the world. We [in this life of D/s] have to be in the small minority and are forced to be online going through craziness in order to connect with someone.
Well-said, my young friend, well-said.
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*His* birthday was yesterday, the 29th, and I didn't think of it till just now. I guess that's a good thing..
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i was recently contacted by this so-called Dominant. my instincts told me he isn't Dominant, but you know, you can be wrong about people, and he insisted he is Dominant, so i chose to believe him. After getting my time monopolized by him for weeks, he then tells me as his slave i will serve him by diapering him, powdering his cock and butt, and letting him suckle my tits ..... i about barfed. "thejoytoy" he was not, indeed. ::::::shuddering and throwing up in my mouth a little:::::::
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Every day, and I mean *EVERY* day, I get an email or three from someone who has no profile to speak of. It will list the state he lives in, maybe his height, and that he is a Male Dominant. And that's it. That. Is. It.
A pet peeve of mine is men who don't bother to write a profile. How do
you know my views and ideas are along the same line as yours? It's cuz
you read the profile that I took time and energy to write. It would be
nice if I was given the same courtesy.
In any case, to those of you who engage in that, and then contact me, and say, "Just ask me anything, or tell me anything," I can't comment on anything about you since I don't know anything about you. Then again, I know you come off as a secretive, paranoid, fraidy-cat who is hiding something. Yup, yup, hiding something.
And sorry, but I am not going to do the "lead-the-Dominant-around-by-the-hand" thing and tell him how to proceed. (That is SUCH a drag and puts me in a position that is not natural to me.) <br>
<br> Yep, I'm not here to dick around. Been on the site way too long, typed
the same stuff way too many times, and been dicked around way too
often. So now I have the "Crap or get the hell out of the bathroom"
attitude, know what I mean?
Ok, good. Glad we understand each other. So tell me about yourself in
detail, and what you are on this site for, or just be on your way.
Seriously, I am not going to be the Dominant (and tell you what to do)
annnnnd the slave. Just ain't gonna happen. So get down to it, or
don't.
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The world has gone nutty. Ask me. I'll tell ya a story..
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Most people don't really listen. What most people do is jump to whether we like or do not like what is being said to us, decide whether we agree or disagree with what is being said, or decide that we know it already. All of this shuts down our listening, and we simply wait for the person to stop talking so we can jump in with our own agenda.
Actual listening happens when you drop all that internal stuff going on inside your head and simply focus on what a person is saying to you.
In my experience, it is a rare thing indeed that someone actually listens, and hears what is being said, and is not off in some other land for much of what was occurring between us. And listening is a skill - something to be honed over time, and something to be kept up as a skill.
If I ever get to serve a man who is a true listener, I would be ever so happy, indeed.
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shit list (to be updated as time goes on), and obviously in code:
~qasiephim ~momsotte ~and
especially siraoinquiv.
three CUNT "submissives" who i thought were
friends. what a JOKE!!
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The pain of today is just about unbearable. I think if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have none at all. And yet I'm a "glass half-full" kind o' girl, so it's weird to write that statement about bad luck being my only luck. But yet, sometimes things just go entirely and utterly wrongly. And here I am, with a broken heart ...... A G A I N.
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I am often asked about my interests. I am not sure whether the person means it in a
general sense or more in a BDSM sense or in a D/s one, but usually the person is referring to the BDSM sense, since 99.9% of the time that I am
asked that question by a man on this site, that's what he means. So
I'll adress in that sense here, and leave the other two by the wayside. <br>
<br> Since
I'm completely submissive, my BDSM interests kind of go along with
whatever the man I'm serving wants (within reason!) and so if he LOVES
to spank, but I'm just so-so with being spanked, I would not say, "Oh,
ok, you can spank me occasionally, but not too hard, and only 10 swats,
and only with your hand, and and and and and." I am not *that* type of
submissive at all. And on the other hand, if I LOVE spanking, and you
are just not into it, I would not tell you, "Hey, spank me or I'm out
of here!" <br>
<br> So having said all that, there are a few things I
just won't do. I won't have sexual relations with an animal - they are
truly innocent and out of wanting to please us, they will do it, but
they are truly innocent and don't have the capacity to make an informed
decision (much like a child doesn't have the capacity to make an
informed decision). I won't be sexual with another woman, period. (I'm
not bisexual. I'm straight. Just as a straight man is repulsed by the
thought of having a big ol' hairy cock up his ass, I am repulsed by
getting going with a soft, squishy, wet female. Eww.) I won't use any
drugs, period. I won't be photographed in sexual or BDSM activities. I
won't be peed or pooed on. So there ya have it; as far as I know, those
are the areas I won't go into.
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I am very educated, but in spite of that, I long to "only" be a house slave, owned totally, in service across the board. And here I sit, wondering what is going on.
There comes a time to make a decision. On the Internet there will always be someone who is more interesting, more beautiful, more into being spanked/tied up/wants to wear a corset 24 hrs/day or whatever your fetish is, than who ever you are with at the moment.
Are you going to spend your life constantly starting over with yet another new person because she might be more beautiful, more into being spanked, more this, more that, than the person you've "sort of" started with now? Or will you actually live this life as a Master with a slave?
Disclaimer: The above is said in a general sense and refers to no one in particular. Any names, places, dates, or other identifying information is purely coincidental to any real life events or persons. :::::giggles:::::
I have more journal entries on my former profile (that the email stopped working on, so I had to make this new profile with another "h") and if you want, please go ahead and take a peek at those journal entries. The former profile is ohhh2callyouSir. It is just the same as this profile's name except it has one less "h" than this one has. Happy reading and thank you for your interest. :-)
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