Once upon a time in a broken dream were reflections I still can't face. I hold my breath as you say a prayer for me. For it's your prayer that will take me to a better place. How can anyone know what's best for me? I've turned my pages in life with no shame. And still my decistions brought me to my knees. Ive been alone in the darkness like a single burning flame. Still time continues to pass me by. It'll never wait for me. If I could do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing.

So many times they tried to break my spirit down. So many times I've peeled my face up off the ground. countless times they thought they could run my life. Or cripple my faith, when they judge and criticize me......but I'm still standing. Never discraced or ashamed to walk the line again. Controlled for too many years and never once forgiven....for my sins. I never thought I'd say I'm weaker today than I was yesterday. But I still fight as I always fight with whats inside of me....the worrior spirit inside of me. 

To live right yet to do so wrong. To be so weak yet burn to be so strong. If I could live my life again, would I live that life through my sins? As I go, my ride has been through life. As I go, they'll see my soul through the devils eyes. Still the voices say, "Go rider, go ride into the night. Go rider, We'll see your soul through a woman's eyes." I am sinner,hold my prayers up to the sun. I am sinner. Heaven is closed for what I've done.

I am strong because I know weakness, I am compassionate because I have experienced suffering, I am alive because I am a fighter, I am wise because I've been foolish, I can laugh because I have known sadness. I can love because I've known loss. I have weathered the storm but still love to dance in the rain

I have lived my life with many chapters and stories to tell. Chapters of love and romance and those with lost love ones and heart aches. Chapters that have lasted the test of time and chapters with events that have tested my very existence. I have achieved many treasures in my life and have no material items to show for my hard work nor do I have any land to call my own. Thus I have been granted the tital "The Poor King in a Poor Kingdom." Would I have it any other way? Probly not. Treasure is what makes a king rich, my treasure is worth more to me than gold itself. My soul has been touched and my soul has beed tortured. I have lived my life on the street leading between Park Avenue and Skid Row and everywhere in between. I have met people and made friends from every walk of life and hold the ones closest to me that mean the most. I always have room for more but I have no place in my life for people who scrutinize, belittle and stereotype people for the sake of boosting there own low self esteam. I have spent my life not going where I should have gone, not doing what I should have done, not being where I should have been, not saying what I should have said, and not loving who I wanted to love. I have only one life to live. If there is any human being I can show any kindness to or share my life with. Let me do it now. Let me not differ or neglect for I shall never pass this way again.

 

     A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her. She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

     The gentle Master knelt her before him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak...

     I'm here for you... now and always no matter how far time and space takes us... Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless-- for my love is unconditional...

     Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you. You are my gardener.

     When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under me and till the soil, you give breath to my roots. When you water me, my sap flows strong through me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble me with your devotion. Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you.

     Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can!

     I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from me.... But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.

     Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!

      As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet. That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to him with her devotion the next day... and everyday thereafter!