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i have been working up to this for a long time. it started with years of trying to pretend my sweet, gentle boyfriends were giving me what i needed. then progressed to trying to convince them to be rougher with me. lately i have been actively seeking rough sex/coercion scenarios, but am still craving more. i don't know if i'm really sumissive... in a lot of ways it's the dynamic of force/control/humiliation that turns me on, but the experiences i've had with that have left me wanting.
as i've come to this point in my sexual exploration, i've also come to a crossroads in my life. i find myself single and unattached, and have decided to take this as my opportunity to really explore this area of my life. i am looking for an experienced Dom (ideally not quite old enough to be my father) to "take me on" for a limited period of full-time use and training. i'm an intelligent woman, and recognize that the mental aspect here is at least as important as the physical, so am looking for someody who is also very intelligent and perceptive, able to probe my psyche and use the knowledge he acquires about me effectively. though i don't need a model (nor am i one myself), physical attraction is important, so he should be attractive, as am i.
i am interested in exploring all my limits (including pain), but do have hard boundaries that include - but may not be limited to - piss/scat play, animals, kids, and anything that may leave permanent marks or land somebody in jail.
this will be a big step for me, and i need to feel confident in my safety. this will mean a fair amount of back and forth, and negotiation, before i am ready to take the jump.
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