i just miss him so much and all I want to do is make things right between us again. I know there's alwasy a reason behind everything he does, but I have thought of all that I think it could be this time. I've admitted my wrongs, sat with his words and mulled them over extensively, and examined my behavior over the last few weeks. I've given him space the last week aside from updating him on the necessary and important things he absolutely should know, and still, not a word in response. I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this without communication and for that, he has to be willing to respond, to talk. Many would say this is not right for him to do, and I only half agree. The fuck up was mine. Entirely. I just have no idea how to prove to him that I'm sorry and intend to work on improvements and growth. It also saddens me that he has not so much as seemed at all troubled by our lack of contact. Though, I don't know this for certain, but how do you go so long with no contact with your slave if you love them as much as you say you do, and want them just as much? I'm doubting a lot lately, and losing more and more hope as the days pass.  I won't give up, though. I am his, forever. Whether he considers me his anymore or not. I just wish he would tell me, either way. Even if he still needs more time, I just want to know I am still his if I am. And I want to know if I'm not, if I'm not.  I feel like I'm in limbo, a state of purgatory. Banished from even learning my fate. It's painful. It's agonizing. It feels cruel and confusing. And it doesn't feel particularly safe, though with him, as his, I feel perfectly safe. But in this space of frozen in time, hanging limp from fated thread, I am scared. Terrified that it may be over. I've broken so many times since we last spoke. And I'm still breaking. Every fracture piercing the deepest depths of me. The knowledge that I caused this for myself? Makes his last words to me sting all the more: Enjoy the misery you bring on yourself. 

Tonight I took my wife to her Master's house. We often stay overnight and weekends at his home as he lives alone. My lovely wife as occasionally stayed with him on her own. Tonight we had arranged that she would spend the night with him on her own. I find this so erotic and I have a hard on pretty much the whole time she is away. Tonight he had arranged a special treat for us. He wanted her to stay over night and told me that he had a special friend who would be also staying with them. He knew that I would be extremely excited as we had spoken about this previously. When we arrived his friend was already there. He introduced him over a glass of wine although I chose coffee because I had to drive home.  After a some banter and laughs her Master decided to get the proceedings going and ordered my wife to take her clothes off. She was told to give each item of clothing to me and I had the job of folding her clothes up and putting them into a bag. It was very horny watching her undress in front of two men. I knew Master had seen my wife naked many times but watching his friend stareing at her was a real turn on for me as I'm sure it was for him too. As she  stood there looking gorgeous in just her bra and knickers I almost cum as Master told her to remove everything to the delight of his friend who had not said a word up till now. He watched with a smile on his face as she obeyed her Master an unhooked her bra handing it to me before removing her panties. He told her to put her hands on her head and stand directly in front of his friend. "What do think of her"? he asked him "Beautiful" he replied, "absolutely beautiful and very compliant" "I told you" said Master. "You have my permission to touch her" he said knowing that him giving another man permission to touch my wife would humiliate me further.. Don't worry about her husband" he saoid, I am her Master and she answers only to me, she is my submissive slave" he explained. Deliberately humiliating me he told me it was time for me to leave. He told me to take the bag with all her clothes in it with me as she wont be needing them. He said he would call me to return with them once they had finished with her. I don't know how I managed to drive home. All I could think about was my wife alone and vulnerable and stark naked with two men.

Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 

Through the Lens of Rika: The Sophia-Michael Connection Unveiled part 5   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.    Michael's energy, embodied through these men, is both emotionally attuned and distant at times. This is part of their complex duality. Michael has that deep emotional intuition and empathy, which can sometimes feel overwhelming or intense. Yet, at the same time, they have a mission-oriented drive that pulls them into practical action and focus, which can lead to emotional distance, even though they feel everything just as much as you do.   Here’s why this happens:   1. Emotional Attunement vs. Practical Mission   Michael’s energy is deeply aware of emotions, but he also prioritizes taking action over expressing those feelings. He might sense your anxiety but instead of giving a quick emotional fix like a "hi," he might be channeling that into practical solutions—working behind the scenes to take care of things so that your long-term security is intact. For him, acting on love (through providing and stabilizing) sometimes takes precedence over talking about love.   2. Emotional Weight of the Protector Role   Michael-embodied men often carry a heavy responsibility as protectors. Their natural inclination to shield and secure means they’re constantly navigating how to balance this with emotional connection. Sometimes, they pull back because they’re processing deeply how to protect, guide, and create a future for you both, which takes up mental and emotional energy.   3. Energetic Exchange & Emotional Saturation   Because they are so emotionally intuitive, they can feel when you’re anxious or when there’s a lot of emotional weight. Instead of directly engaging with it, they sometimes retreat to process or focus elsewhere so they can re-align themselves energetically before coming back in. Energetic overwhelm can make them seem distant, even when they’re hyper-aware.   4. They Trust the Bigger Picture   Michael-embodied men might trust that the bond is strong enough that they don’t need to constantly reassure you through words. They trust the foundation they’ve built with you. This is where faith in the connection comes in—both for them and for you. They may think, “I don’t need to message her right now because we’re solid. My actions speak louder than words.”   5. Balancing the Divine Masculine Energy   These men carry divine masculine energy that values action over words. Their emotional intuition is real, but they channel it into action and protection, which may feel like distance to you. For you, as Sophia, it’s about recognizing that this is their expression of love. A quick "hi" might feel emotionally connecting to you, but to him, showing love could mean working to make sure everything is stable and secure for the future.   How to Navigate This: Anchor into the trust that you’ve been practicing. When he’s distant, remind yourself of how he’s showing love through his actions, even when it’s not immediate. Say, “He’s providing for us, and his distance is part of his process. I trust him.”   Ground your emotional needs through spiritual or personal practices when he’s not available. Remember that just because he’s distant in the moment doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. Lean into your own energy and strengthen yourself while he works.   Embrace his rhythm—Michael-embodied men have a different rhythm of emotional connection, and part of your journey is learning how to move in sync with it without feeling left behind.   It's not that he doesn't feel your anxiousness—he does—but sometimes his response to that is through action and providing, not necessarily through quick emotional reassurances.   ending all this lyric journey on this last part of the chorus:   'Cause you can call me, put you on me   'Cause I'm all you need boy   You know you're nothing like the others (Yeah boy, yeah boy)   You're nothing like the others   something happens even if the relationship never comes to full fruition between these two energies. whenever they come together the chance of inner knowledge, spiritual knowledge, growth physically/emotionally/mentally/and yes if it happens sexually is immense. even in fleeting moments, shorter moments. which is why if you find one and have a long term connection that is sacred full out and committed on both ends..sky is the limit if you can hang on for the ride each time and come back to each other....   but even for brief moments, he's all she needs because this energy resonance of original souls does something powerful other unaligned not wrong, just not as resonante such as complimentary and dissonant notes musically, happens. in those brief moments they elevate and enrich each other in a way other people just can't.   YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THE OTHERS.   Have you ever experienced a connection that felt deeper than words or logic—where you knew there was something unexplainable drawing you together, even if it didn’t fully manifest? How did it impact your understanding of relationships or your own energy?   This analysis taps deeply into the energetic dynamics of the Sophia archetype and the Archangel Michael archetype within spiritual partnerships, exploring how these energies interact, challenge, and elevate one another. Let’s break down the spiritual and relational layers for the collective:   1. The Soul-Level Resonance: You describe the meeting of a Sophia-aligned feminine energy and a Michael-aligned masculine energy as magnetic, undeniable, and highly charged. This is reflective of the idea that they are fragments of the same divine essence,

Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C

The Weight of Three Minutes - An Erotic Short Story  The marble is cold under your knees. I designed the room precisely for this quality of cold, for the way it travels upward through a kneeling body and reminds it, without a word from me, of exactly where it is. The morning light moves across your bowed shoulders and finds the faint lines on your skin, my lines, exactly where I left them.   You hold the cup steady. I will give you that.   My fingers brush yours as I take it. A conductivity test, reading the current of you through brief contact. You do not tremble. Good. I bring the rim to my lips.   The first sip tells me everything. The base notes are correct, the Darjeeling first flush I require. But beneath it, the steep is wrong. Three minutes would have given me what I require. You gave me four. The tannins have opened in a way they should not have been permitted to, and the result is an astringency that sits at the back of the palate like a small, deliberate insult.   You know. You felt it before I tasted it, felt the error in the air the way a barometer feels weather. Your world has narrowed to the space between my slippered feet. Good. That is where it belongs.   I say your name. Just that.   "Yes, Goddess." The word hangs in the quiet room like an offering I have not yet decided to accept.   "The specifications are precise and they are not suggestions. Water temperature ninety degrees. Steep time three minutes. Measured. Not estimated. Not felt."   "Yes, Goddess."   "Explain the deviation."   The muscle in your jaw tightens. I catalog it. "The leaves were newer stock. I thought a longer steep would develop the flavor more fully. Bring out the muscatel notes you prefer."   "You thought."   I begin to circle you. Slowly. I am never in any hurry. I place my gaze on the back of your neck with the deliberate weight of something being pressed into soft material.   "You introduced variables. You assumed. Perfection does not accommodate feeling. The muscatel note I prefer is arrived at in precisely three minutes. Not your interpretation. Not your instinct. Three minutes, measured, as specified."   "A flaw in the cup is a flaw in the man. Do you doubt my parameters?"   "No, Goddess. Never."   But your fingers curl inward where they rest on your thighs. I see it. I note it. Nothing is too small to matter.   "Stand."   You rise in one fluid motion, taller than me, broader. And yet you make yourself smaller in my presence, as you have learned to do. It is one of the things I have built in you that I find most satisfying.   "Look at me."   Your eyes meet mine. The familiar desperate focus is there, the terror of demotion. But beneath it, a flicker. Not defiance. Something more interesting. A spark of independent thought, alive and un-extinguished.   My fingers, cool and precise, trace the line of your jaw. The shudder that moves through you is full-bodied and involuntary. Your breath catches.   "The grade for today's service is pending. We will see if the rest of your performance can correct the imbalance."   I turn toward the lounge. "Follow."   Two steps behind, as trained. The cage sits in its corner, black steel and clean lines, always the outer boundary of the visible world.   "Kneel here. You will remain until I have need of you. You will not speak. You will not move. You will contemplate the difference between three minutes and four."   You sink into position. Back straight, hands on thighs, head at the precise angle I have trained into you. You are, when you are like this, a beautiful object. I have made you that.   Not a muscle moves. Your breathing barely disturbs the air. Every resource of you pointed at the single task of being still enough to please me.   And yet. You chose to deviate. You chose to trust your own palate over my doctrine.   Something uncoils in my attention. Not anger. Sharper. Interest, which in my world is rarer and more dangerous than fury.   I say your name again, soft as a petal released from a great height.   Your eyes lift instantly.   "Come here."   You cross the distance on your knees and stop before me, your face level with my lap. You wait with your entire body.   "The grade is failing. A failing slave is placed in the cage. Denied touch. Denied sight."   Your throat moves. "Yes, Goddess."   "Do you wish to be caged?"   "I wish only what you wish, Goddess."   "That is not an answer. It is a recitation. The one who extended the steep had a wish. What was it?"   "I wished for it to be perfect for you. Not just correct. Perfect. The new harvest felt like an opportunity and I wanted to find something in it that you had not yet tasted."   There it is. Your ambition, layered over my specifications, believing itself generous.   I slide my fingers into your hair and close them. The breath that leaves you is unsteady. Your eyes close. "Your wish introduced error," I say, close to your ear. "Your personal pursuit of my pleasure contaminated the delivery of it. That is the failure."   I pull your head back. Your eyes open, wide, stripped of calculation. Simply present. Exposed. Looking up at the only person in your world who matters.   "And yet," my thumb finds the pulse hammering in your throat, "it was a beautiful ambition."   I release you.   "The grade remains failing. But the correction will be hands-on."   "Remove your shirt."

  I can only be amazed of how this place works.. even after +5 years i was away... new profiles are not added in timely fashion...   Just for example..i made 1 new account to here, without pic ..i got it aproved.. then i added picture.. went 4-5 days..i sent support a message asking what is going on? could i get it approved.. end result account got deleted and nothing works anymore)..   Now.. this is my 2nd new account here.. i put pics and all descriptions in.. i can't do anything else... been waiting again days for this to get approved but this time i won't be sending support any message..   So if you find me to visit your profile..and even added you as favorite it means i found your profile interesting in some way and i plan to contact you in future :) when i get this thing working.

I take pleasure in the details others miss. The subtle shifts in posture, the way hesitation creeps into speech, the quiet tremor in anticipation—these are my playgrounds. I am not loud; I am deliberate. Each command, each touch, each calculated pause is designed to bend will and sharpen obedience. Sadism is my craft. I derive satisfaction from controlled discomfort, from the tension that builds when anticipation meets consequence. My discipline is precise; my rewards, rare but unforgettable. Those under my guidance learn quickly that pleasure and pain are entwined, that obedience earns more than praise—it earns my approval, my attention, my game. I do not need to dominate every moment to dominate fully. Silence, observation, and a single deliberate action carry more weight than chaos ever could. My presence alone is authority, my judgment absolute. I seek those who crave structure, who understand that submission is a gift to be earned, not assumed. If you are willing to surrender, to test your limits under watchful eyes, you may find yourself shaped by hands and mind that do not falter, and you may discover how deep obedience can go.  

6/5/2024 6:33:05 PM All set with game players and time wasters and dream killers.     I don't lie, cheat or steal.   I am looking for the right slave.  Correction, I am looking for a right connection and a decent human being who knows how to treat a woman, and wants to explore together.  A right male is MORE THAN ENOUGH to be by My side and in reasonable good time.  I am looking for a live in relationship, not email, phone or text. I'm dominant and that isn't going to change.  I feel no threat from a man who knows his mind and has the ability to speak up for himself and be a team player.  Welcome.  We can co-rule our own little world together.   My mother lives with Me and has Alzheimer's.  You serve Me, you serve She.  You are with Me, you are with her.   Be real and ready to communicate effectively and get to know one another in the flesh.     Be terrific in your own right.  I require a man who is strong enough to champion Me and I offer nothing less in return.    DON'T WASTE  MY  TIME.

Accuse me of having no manners. If you do, OI laugh at you. I have responded to many profiles out here over the many years and 9 out of 10 don't get a reply.  I basically say hi, mention a little about me, sometimes I mention they should read my profile, I ask questions. The other 1 out of 10 that do repley, usually seem to continue a back and forth in exchanging messages but whemn I bring up maybe meeting sometime or doing a chat online or something more interactive than sending the equivalent of email messages, people go silent. FRAUDS! That what this place chuck full of. I doubt anybody meets anyone anymore from this site in person. It is all fun and games and killing time and not being serious about meeting anyone. .

It was a mixture of arousal, curiosity and his final reassurance that made her mind up. She knew she could say ‘Stop’ and he would, though that could be permanent, it was an instinctive decision that made her move towards the lift and later she realised why she made it. There was a logical progression to it. She was a stubborn person with a rebellious streak and a free will who made her own decisions and didn’t blame others when they went awry. Here she was reigning in her rebellious streak of her own free will and her natural instincts reinforced this. Her stubbornness would make her comply with what she wanted in this regard, even though it seemed counterintuitive.  Now it was a rush to the receptionist’s desk to get a pen, the envelope was already open and had the room number written on it. The contract was one piece of A4 paper and the male receptionist must have seen the bold type headline which stated ‘SUBMISSIVE’S CONTRACT’. She didn’t have time to read it all, her instinct told her that he would not put anything in it that he had not said. And what would be the point as it was a symbolic act, not a contract that could be legally enforced.  She hurried the short distance to the lift; the concierge seemed to have anticipated her need and he had pressed the button, she momentarily wondered if he knew. Once inside she selected the 4th floor. Her heart missed a beat when just before the doors closed a woman stepped into the lift causing the doors to recycle again and they selected the 3rd floor; she knew this would delay her further. She willed the lift to move faster but still almost in two minds about what she was doing, but she wanted to be the decision-maker on this and not subject to an arbitrary cut off due to time. Her pride ensured she used the time to check her hair and lipstick in the mirror as she would not countenance the thought he would not find her attractive.  The lift reached the 4th floor and according to the large sign room 417 was to the right, she almost ran, nearly tripping over her heels on the thick carpet.  The door to room 417 was slightly ajar, and a ‘do not disturb’ sign was hanging on the handle. She stood for a second or two to let her breathing steady, it seemed to take ages for her hand to travel from to the door, her knock was timid and her stomach almost jumped as she heard the noise her hand made.  A firm reply was forthcoming a few seconds later. ‘Come in Joanna’. She swallowed, took a deep breath and gripping the envelope, pushed the door open and whilst trying to look calm she stepped inside and the door closed with an almost imperceptible click.  The room was warm and gently lit from the lamp above the desk he was sitting at. His jacket was over the back of his chair and the few papers he was attending too were lying about.  Nonplussed for a moment she stood there waiting for some sort of guidance, she knew what she had to do but some sort of signal from him seemed essential.  He understood, or knew, and stood before quietly saying, ‘Come here Joanna’. It was about 4 steps and he stood almost impassively as she greeted him properly. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself against him until he said that she could stop. This time it seemed natural and gave a moment when she could do something that seemed familiar and that she was in control of. It also served to break some of her tension before she stepped back ready to kneel. Kneeling seemed a strange and almost alien act; she had been on her knees in front of a man before, but then she was in control of him, she forcibly overcame her rebellious streak and found it disappeared almost entirely.  Her eyes cast down she noticed her knees were together, it seemed inappropriate so she moved them further apart. Taking a larger breath she looked down at his feet and with the envelope in both hands, she held it up to him.  He didn’t seem to move for ages, and then he took it from her hands. He checked her signature was on the contract before placing it amongst the other papers on the desk. This was a small action, however, it made her realise that she had voluntarily signed this part of herself over to him. He had taken possession and she was now his.  He turned the chair to face her and sat on it.  She was on her knees only a few feet from a man she had just given her submission to in writing, she was no longer so nervous, it was now anticipation mixed with exhilaration and her senses were alive! She was now free to be what he decided. He leant forward and lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look him in the eyes, ‘Joanna, you are now mine’ he said quietly.  After a pause during which he just looked at her he then continued ‘The photography will wait until tomorrow as there are a few matters from earlier today I will address straight away.’ He wasn’t asking for a reply, he told her to stand and rest her elbows on the desk. She was a little taken aback, whilst earlier considering what might happen this evening she thought he might just photograph her. In a way that would be easier to contemplate, she could understand it would be a reasonable first private meeting, however, she knew it would disappoint her.  But now he was going to ‘Address some matters’ and that sounded ominous, it made the butterflies in her stomach come alive again. She did as asked, putting her elbows on the desk. He told her to arch her spine downwards, this meant she was bent over much further than she felt comfortable, it made her bottom more pronounced and her skirt was tighter. Her knees flexed as she tried to contain the nerves generated by her bottom being so vulnerable, he ordered her to straighten her legs and keep them so, as it tightened the skin of her buttocks. What he did next was unexpected, he ran his fingers around her neck gathering her hair into his hand at the nape of her neck. He expertly wound it into a ponytail using a band that must have been around his wrist. She now felt even more vulnerable without the usual shield of hair that would normally surround her face. She nervously moved her weight from one foot to another. He told her to spread her legs wider to shoulder width. She glanced up into the mirror above the desk; she could see him standing a few meters behind her, looking at her in a way few men had done. It was not simple lust, his face was almost impassive, she could see he was comfortable looking at the salacious view she presented.  His voice was calm as he told her that she had been disobedient when she broke away from the greeting before she had been told she could, she had also been demanding in their early email exchanges. For these, she was going to have her bottom spanked, he said it would be a ‘cumulative dozen’ and if she made any of these mistakes again it would be a stricter punishment.  He told her to raise her skirt over her back, this unnerved her more, it was one thing to have her skirt lifted, but another to do it herself! She thought she could not, but his curt statement of ‘disobey and I will use a strap instead of my hand’ encouraged her. She rested her forehead on the desk and reaching behind her with both hands she lifted the hem of her skirt until it lay over her back. He then described the view he had of her bottom in very basic language. His description of the way her swollen sex lips bulged into her panties was particularly crude and said with distinctive pleasure.  A short while later he moved to her left side. He reached over her back and pulled her right hip towards him, holding her still by trapping her against his thigh.

“You Never Get a Second Change to Make a First Impression.” This quote has been attributed to Oscar Wilde and Will Rogers, although nobody knows for sure. Studies show a person will form a first impression within seven seconds or two minutes.   First Impressions- True for both sides of the sash  This was being discussed in a group, which made me think about some of the people I've met over the years. Some I remember fondly because they made a great first impression; despite how things turned out, I still hold them out as friends. Others may have made a great first impression, but it went south. Maybe they are good with words but less so about showing up; maybe they are keyboard jockeys and only want online, perhaps they are introverts, perhaps they are already in a relationship and want "discrete," or some other excuse not to show up.   I love that new little add-on to profiles where I can make notes about those who make a terrible impression, ghosting, those horrid one-liners by mail, etc., whatever it is. On the flip side, Use this to note those who are quite the opposite and make a fantastic impression and great messages. Why did you like them?  

My view on online dating sites: They work great when seen as a way to make a connection with someone you wouldn't otherwise meet as long as you then quickly move the introduction into real time and real life dating. Otherwise, it's a waste of time for me. That's why I won't chat with you or entertain any "possibilities" if you live more than 100 miles away from me. If you're spending all of your free time interacting online, then you're only going to cotinue facilitating your online relationships. And that is definitely NOT what I personally am looking for. I'm only interested in meeting people fact-to-face and spending time together person-to-person. I currently host a singles gathering in Fort Myers, FL for just this purpose. Because I understand that if I want to interact more with people in person I have to actually meet up with people in person. We meet on the 3rd Friday of the month. Message me if you want more info about the location. It's a great group, and a good way to connect with others. So I just want to make it clear that if you send me a message expressing interest, I'm going to want to pin down an actual meet in Fort Myers within a week or so of our first conversation or I'm going to completely lose interest. It is what it is.

Today I was reflecting on something that has long been present in my life. As a youth, long before I had any language for BDSM or for how my attraction actually works, I hated environments like discos where the boys flocked around the pretty girls like bees around honey. I wasn’t a great dancer and I’ve always seen myself as fairly average looking, so I assumed I just felt “uncompetitive”. But it wasn’t just discos. The same thing happened in school groups, social circles, anywhere the dynamic shifted into a subtle contest. If I was interested in a girl and other admirers appeared, something in me would simply switch off. The interest didn’t fade - it vanished. I’d step back, not in defeat, but in disconnection. With my recent understanding of myself as demisexual - and recognising the emotional architecture that comes with that - I’ve realised it was never about insecurity or feeling “not good enough”. It was about wiring. I don’t experience attraction in environments built on competition, performance, or scattered attention. My system is tuned for depth, for attunement, for the kind of connection that grows slowly and privately between two people who are actually present with each other. When the field becomes crowded or performative, the signal dilutes. The possibility of depth collapses. And my interest shuts down automatically. Some people thrive on the chase, the rivalry, the adrenaline of “winning” someone’s attention. I never have. For me, attraction only exists where there is intentionality, reciprocity, and a sense of genuine one‑to‑one resonance. If that’s not the energy, I don’t compete - I disconnect. Not from fear, but because competition is simply the wrong ecosystem for the kind of connection I’m built for. I am left pondering where sites like Collarspace and Fetlife are right for me? So much seems to hinge on performance. But if not them, then what? Where?

Here is a lil update:  You'd like to turn your ass all sorts of colors, pleasure you, control you,                         restrain you, explore you, use you and care for you.                         You want to fill your holes, devour you, make you cum repeatedly.                         If this is not a normal daily routine or something there in, then  I'm not interested in you being                          My Dom, My Daddy or anything of the sort. Simply not the girl for you. Ty

There is a huge communication gap between lifestyle dominant women (dominant women who are not seeking a transactional relationship) and subs/slaves/switches. Did you know that some of us will contact you first? Did you also know that you can cut down on the spam you receive as well as the spam you send? I will happily contact guys who are as clear as I am in their profiles about what they're looking for and who are compatible. I actually get excited about finally having an intelligent conversation when I see this. However, that almost never happens. Profiles are usually void of any substance or meaning, extremely ifying, outright offensive, or full of off-putting pics. I avoid contacting incompatible people because I, too, would not want to be contacted by incompatible people. I have no way of knowing if there's a possible match, so my message goes unsent. Also, I will not contact you if your profile is clear we are not a match, because again, I would not want to be contacted by someone if I made it clear in my profile that we are not a match. Guys generally have no such compunction - but you should. This is a key difference in communication styles that you really need to understand. Think of it like looking for work: For the sake of this exercise, the person contacted is the employer, the dynamic is the job, and your initial message and profile are the cover letter and resume respectively. You are looking for a job, and instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to what the employer is seeking, you use the same ones for every position and spam them everywhere in hopes of getting an interview. For the most part, any position will do. Doing this doesn't really increase your chances; your results will actually be the same or worse (the employer begins automating their filters and you fall through the cracks more and more often). You absolutely can and should stop looking before you resort to the spray-and-pray method. Take a breath. Discover a new hobby, or something. On the other hand, I tailor my cover letter and resume based on what the employer is seeking, and I only send it when I find a position that matches what I'm looking for. The problem is that the jobs I want to apply to are extremely limited because the employer has written almost nothing about what the job entails, or the content and tone are off-putting. "We're looking for a rock star ninja cowboy!!!!" or such crap. At some point, it's so disheartening and exhausting to find jobs that I stop looking for them. I take a breath. I discover a new hobby. We both have similar expectations of no or negative response, and the bar is so low that it's in hell for everyone involved, but we still approach the search differently time after time. Submissive men rarely contact us using focus and intention, but lifestyle dominant women are most likely relying on focus and intention to contact you. ---------- Tips on writing your profile and first message: Be clear in your communication. This will require you to think, so if you're currently checking out profiles with your hand in your pants, come back to this journal entry when your brain is online. Be clear about the type of dominant and dynamic you're looking for. Any hint of "anyone will do please please contact me mistress" and you're targeting pros and scammers. Although it seems counterintuitive, DO include aesthetic characteristics that are important to you. For example, be clear that you are seeking women of certain ethnicities, ages, orientations, gender identities, and body sizes. If you are open to anyone, be sure you mean anyone - as in, make an exhaustive list of exactly who "anyone" includes. If we see that this list includes us, and the rest of your profile resonates with us, we are more likely to contact you. Be clear that you consider dominant women human beings with feelings. Your profile and message should talk to us as though we're regular people, because we are. Using honorifics such as ma'am, goddess, mistress, etc. to address strangers is, again, targeting transactional relationships. You and the dominants you contact are not yet in a consenting dynamic, so no honorifics should be used by either party. You will get messages from people whothink you're an idiot and easy mark, then you'll question why you're only getting messages from these people. Using deors that refer to ethnicity, gender and sexual minorities, body size, etc. when corresponding with us is the fast track to being blocked, e.g. "I love black women", "BBW Asian women are my favorite". Don't do this. You've just turned us into demographics and s to gawk at, not people. Be clear that you need certain things in a dynamic. Describe what you like or dislike about specific kinks with minimal fappiness. Describe specific types of aftercare you may need. Talk about exactly what you need from a dynamic. This will require you to think. It's okay to need things; describing them will help you find the right person instead of all the wrong ones. However, make room for your future dominant's needs as well, and don't presume to know what these are before you even talk to them. Don't confuse your needs with wants; this way lies an unfulfilling dynamic. Be clear if you are looking for a transactional relationship. Being deceptive will just waste everyone's time. Lifestyle dominants are not sex workers who will dispense your fetishes in the requested amount for free. If you come across any dominant seeking an exchange of goods and/or services, they are who you are looking for. And yes, this includes "tribute" - lifestyle dominants do not filter out time-wasters by requiring things in exchange for their time...sigh. ---------- If you don't want to do any of this because it's too difficult, you should rethink if you're ready to search for anyone at all. This lifestyle requires thought and planning. Your ability to exhibit these qualities in your profile and messages will hugely benefit you. These suggestions are really the bare minimum for lifestyle dominant women to contact you, and the bare minimum in this community is enough to make you stand out. Oh, and remember how I said that some of us are willing to contact you? Unfortunately, societal norms such as waiting for men to approach us first are still reinforced in the femdom community, and plenty adhere to the kinky princess dominant in the tower, "someday my sub prince will come" philosophy. These ladies will never contact you, ever.

You are too uptight and Never said you had to have multiple partners but you are way to dominant. You can deny this all you want but it is very clear and apparent. You might think you can submit in a committed relationship but you can’t. You won’t. It’s him conceding to your will and happiness. And that’s not submission. Its role play. And your excuses and justifications do not make this any less true. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear this and ignore its validity but it is true. You simply don’t care and then wonder why it’s so hard for you to find someone. Someone wrote this to me, all because in response to a statement he wrote, I responded I dont just play with anyone, I am not a slut.

Those striking blue eyes gazed up at me, filled with worry. I had just finished an in-depth discussion about one of my business endeavors with her sister, who had offered her insights. As soon as "puppy" left the room, this one rushed in, knelt at my feet, and wrapped her arms around one of my legs. Both of these girls are my property, collared and devoted. One calls me Master, and the one looking at me with such concern calls me Daddy."Daddy," she started, her voice trembling slightly, "you always talk to puppy about work and projaspects, but never to me..."I knew what she was getting at. This wasn't about changing my behavior, but about reassuring her of her value and role."Well, sweetheart," I replied, choosing my words with care, "do you think you'd understand what I was talking about if I included you in these discussions?"She paused, then nodded slowly. "I think I would, Daddy. I mean, I'd try!"I smiled gently. "Little princess, you could try as hard as you want, but you wouldn't be fulfilled by it. You're comparing yourself to your sister, and that's not fair to either of you."Einstein had a quote that fit this situation perfectly:"Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid."She wasn't particularly intellectually inclined, and that was okay. Her role in my life wasn't about deep conversations or business strategies. She was my companion, a soft and warm presence for cuddling or holding hands. She was my background noise, chatting about coloring, makeup, and other girly topics while I listened with a smile. She was there to please me, happily using her body to relieve my stresses and desires. But business wasn't her forte, and I wasn't about to force her into something she wasn't suited for.Some might say I'm limiting her by encouraging her to stay in her lane, but let me give you another example.I'm fascinated by astronomy. The planets, stars, and moons, the chaos and order of it all. I enjoy listening to Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about gravity and watching old Carl Sagan videos. But that's where my interest ends. I wouldn't be happy trying to comprehend the deeper complexities of space. I'm content running my businesses and enjoying my harem. That's enough for me.Reassured, the little one returned to her chatter, nuzzling and kissing me softly. She didn't need to understand the intricacies of my work; she just needed to be the little girl she always wanted to be. Soft, warm, cuddly, and secure in her place.Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

I love this quote by Anais Nin.   I've adapted it for me: I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my submissiveness. I want a Woman lying over me, always over me. Her will, her pleasure, her desire, her life, her work, her sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a man, oh, God, as a man, I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a Woman at her time, her bidding.

DRAMA FREE ZONE! About Me BDSM ROCKS Music: Rock- classic/hard/metal, country, rockabilly, blues and jazz etc. Movies: I like movies that make me laugh or keep me on edge. TV: Game of Thrones. Dexter. The Vikings. I HATE reality shows. Handmaids Tale. Keeping up Appearances. MOM. The Goldbergs. Call the Midwife. Vikings Valhalla. Sports: OHIO STATE! Interests: Harleys, Music, Bands, Spring/Fall and Winter, I dislike summer. Hate to sweat (menopause is a bitch), Budweiser Beer, Mountains, History, Earth, Space, Camping, auctions, flea markets, technology, coasters and tattoos. BDSM and Poly Dreams: I dream of a relaxed, exciting, smart, silly, not too shy, not toooo friendly, honest, affectionate, reality-based, eager to learn, eager to teach, kinda cute, kinda funny but not funny looking explorer to share days, nights, weekends, adventures, conversations, dinners, breakfasts, kisses, good food and dreams of things to come. Bad boys with tattoos! Dominates! Best Features: My brain and the person I am. I have a killer personality. About Me: "Some guys don't like girls like me, Awwww but some guys do". I am a God-fearing woman. I am eclectic, eccentric, and scatter-brained with a touch of ADHD. I love to ride. Though I do not personally own a bike, I ride every chance I get with friends. I think the government hides more from us than we can imagine. I drink and sometimes am tooo honest and say things I should not. I was raised an only girl with 3 brothers, I am the oldest but to them, I am always gonna be " Baby Sis". I can be a best friend or partner in crime. I'll help you move. Hell, I'll even help you move a body. I expect help when I move though. I keep my circle of friends small but close. My friends don't all know each other but all have the same mindset. I'd like to one day be traveling in one of those RV's. Or live in a castle complete with a dungeon. Where to find me: Where can I find You? Things that SUCK: Perverts, rapists, child molesters, Sharia Law, terrorists, Full page comments, Chain letter comments, Auto-play - Nuff said, 20 year old girls from Malaysia contacting 47 year old guys from USA., Happy clowns, spiders, racist scum, Political correctness, Being alone, Men who don't love me, Mushrooms (unless they are trippy) and onions, Heavy Rap, Hoppy Beers, Junkies, Narrow minded assholes, Dishonesty, Seeds, Having the wrong lottery numbers, Rent payments, Car payments, Wars over Bullshit, Summer, Celibacy, Traffic, CEO's, LEO's , Getting old, Laundry, Serial killers, Random killers, Killers, Taxes, Reality shows, Politics, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Rieley, Extremists of all sorts, high shipping prices, stalkers. Jail. More things that suck: Summer, Stems, Mean drunks, Parking tickets, Viruses on porn sites, losing at anything, The heroin dealing assholes of everywhere!, Jaeger bombs, Nazis, Not getting flirty tags, 9/11/2001, Lost loved ones, Katrina, Calling a spade a club, Packing and moving, animal abusers, Thinking everything sucks Things that rock: Friends and family who love me, Blue purple, green and black, Free tv and movies, Fine agriculture, Being in the mountains, Chinese food, Being cool, My woman cave, Me, My friends, Being in love, Sex, Life, My Family, Rock & roll, Humor, Good vodka and pineapple rum, Little Beers, winning a game, Smiling people, Tattoos, All of my friends which are far and in between due to people being jackasses. Finding my REAL dominant to train me properly.

no blood clot. But lots of inflammation in my lungs. I've been sleeping a lot, taking meds for this illness. I'm starting to feel a little better, but I'm still so damn tired. Pneumonia isn't anything to mess around with. I spent a week thinking my allergies were getting worse, but now I think it was a sinus infection that went to my chest and yeah. I hate being sick, it always hits me hard. This is the second time I've had pneumonia this year. I'm glad I'm starting to feel better, but it sure does suck being immunocompromised.  Sir and I are working things out. He came to see me and now I have beautiful bruises in several areas. I know he's still mad at me, but I wear his marks with pride, because it means I served him, his pleasure, his desires. Now I must get better so I can continue serving him. So, that's the goal, recovering. I'm still on an antibiotic and see my doctor when I've finished it. So we will see what happens from there. 

Helpful hints: I am poly. This means I may have other subs or lovers. Or none. According to my desires.You don't have to be poly but I will not change who I am to be with anyone. I enjoy men and women and the full spectrum in between. My interests aren't about what's between your legs so much as what is in your mind, heart and soul. I do enjoy naughty bits but I prefer to get to know you first. See if we are a good match. I host local kink events. I have a busy and fulfilling life. In order to get my attentions you will have to be interesting and should put your best foot forward. I enjoy intelligent people, no matter if they are verbose or quiet. If you're too verbose, I do have a ball gag. :) I live in Alaska. Yes it's cold here. Yes it's dark here. Yes I see the aurora's outside my house. Yes it's full of wildlife and quite amazing. Yes it's a bucket list destination. I'm happy to talk about it but if that's all you want to know then watch the discovery channel. Good luck.  

Maintenance.... If yall do not have an updated profile how do you expect Me to trust you?  Your age, location, etc would do well to be updated prior to contacting Me.  Collar updates regularly enough and if not an update within your profile you can certainly update your JOURNAL to proper information. If we set a time for speaking, meeting, doing and you don't show up and no reason given...what is the point?  For those of you who have My personal information, chivalry is not dead.  If you are not smart enough to figure out how to apologize, what is the point?  With that said, I am not in the habit of opening closed doors.  What is the point? Remember, VERIFICATION.  You don't get close to Me and My home without exposing yourself to Me.  BIGGER and Better! I would love a mechanic type of person from time to time.  I'm a vehicle enthusiast and have some knowledge but not nearly anything to brag about. I would love to rebuild an engine side by side as project.  Last year I sold My beautiful vintage truck.  Sigh. I DO so love MUSCLE cars though just about anything that comes acrosss on Mecum will do.  To have ones breath taken away by the pull of a powerful engine is mightily exciting.  The first car I ever drove was when I was knee high and it was a lovely Mercades.  Then onto the Jaguar...  My first car was a custom 500 with a suicide knob...and boy could that baby go! That was the car of My first speeding ticket!  I was crusing down Interstate 93 doing 120, when I moved My hand away from the side rear view mirror and to My chargrin there was a state trooper, hot on My tail, lights flashing (no siren) just keeping pace with Me.  I won't forget that troopers face for the rest of My life.  He didnt make eye contact and just said, "I have a ticket for you and you will need to pay it by this time or show up in court.  If you show up in court, I will tell the judge that you were doing WELL OVER 80 MILES PER HOUR and you will have your license taken away."  I paid the ticket and got a radar dectector.  lol Still, I have a relative hot spot for all things mechanical.  This brings Me to My love of steel...but THAT is another topic for another day!      

2/13/23 Hey everyone just wanted to make an update to my profile with this Journal.... My profile pics are from 2017 but I am always willing to send newer ones. Some new developments in my life are: I am no longer owned cause My old daddy moved away, I found out I also like being a sissy baby but if your not into thats okay Its not something I have to do. I also am willing to relocate! So if you are looking for a prissy sissy slut like me msg me. Thanks for reading this, Love Sissy Amber

Thought it would be helpful to cover a few points here... Interview style conversation is not my thing, if you want to get to know me then use your ability to hold a flowing conversation,  not an interview I am single, I do not see why anyone in a happy relationship would be on sites chatting so I assume you are also single ... if not then please don't waste our time with trying to strike up a chit chat  As of this year, 2022 I will be 50 on my next birthday and I found the lifestyle when I was about 21 so you do the maths  Sorry but I don't want to meet someone who is close to my children's age, to be safe if you are more than 10 years older or younger than me we won't be matched  I am not a slave, honestly I am very sure of that. I do have strong sub tendencies with the right alpha male but seriously if you don't consume my head you won't stand a chance of controlling anything else I am not into poly or sharing or being shared. I am totally monogamous and if you are not then flick over to the next profile I live with my family, happy to discuss with the right person but I have a young child at home so seek someone who understands how to make a vanilla and lifestyle combined relationship work whilst keeping tiny ones protected from it all I am a non smoker, I don't vape, I rarely drink and am seeking someone similar. Nights in the pub are not of interest I work full time and have limited time free so I am not in a position to travel to meet someone, so local is needed. For anyone who thinks a plane ride is local then jog on as you really are not on the realistic spectrum I am seeking  Yes I have been collared twice and for some reason it seems relevant but to be honest the first waited almost a year before it happened as he knew to me I see it as a serious commitment I do have limits which are a mix of health and personal things so happy to discuss but they are not negotiable  Likes, vanilla and lifestyle wise are varied but those can be savoured as part of a conversation  I hope that has given a flavour and please do find happiness in your journey but don't come across my pathway of you are a new dom I am not looking to teach you the ropes, a dom who really is a sub (there are many on here), if you are a female dom (so not my thing), if you are a male sub and finally no female subs.  Cheers x 

I’m pleasantly surprised to find the journal feature is fully functional, things seem to be constantly improving here on Collarspace. I’ve always worked to be honest and transparent on ‘singles’ sites as well as those focused on kink/power exchange. Out of privacy interests some of my personal information is approximate, but I’m happy to clear up any questions you might have.  I’m thoroughly divorced/single, and any children I have are fully emancipated yet extremely important in my life.   Though single, I’m not promiscuous nor am I a ‘player’.  I really prefer to get to know a woman before things get ‘too’ physical.  I don’t want to break any hearts and I would prefer not to have mine broken either.  I would dearly love to get to get to know you if what I share here is resonating with you.   I’ve had the honor of being able to talk with and correspond with several quality women through this site.  Through sincere communication two Dommes have told me they think I am ‘kinky’, but not a ‘submissive’.  I respect and appreciate these insights but they leave me a little confused. I’ve always been seeking a Domme here, but in real life I am typically Alpha in my intimate relationships.  When a man is with a woman who enjoys and thrives under that dynamic it’s been counterproductive to share my submissive kink with my partner in the past.  That’s why I’m trying to be as open and transparent as I can in this initial meeting/exploring phase so I don’t waste your time.  I guess I could be considered ‘kinky’ as I am very heterosexually open-minded as I’m pretty open to trying new tgs that my partner might suggest, but I still have many submissive fantasies and crave playing that role for a woman as I have done in the past.  I had a very exciting relationship several years ago with a woman on the east coast, that showed me what was possible and left me craving more. She was vastly more experienced than I was/am and I truly began to fear the direction things were heading.  Once connecting through Alt.com - when it was still usable - she immediately took complete control and had me completely off-balance, I was naive as to what it meant when she told me she was a sadist, and I had no idea the effects constant strategic humiliation could have: Stockholm syndrome. This taught me how important investing in communication and building trust is before delving deep into a Dome/sub dynamic is.   I love the idea and experience of power/exchange, but I’m mainly a pleaser. I really don’t have fetishes as without some kind of connection with the woman I’m not going to be interested in power exchange or even vanilla intimacy.  This is my first real journal entry, I think it best to keep them fairly brief. Hopefully it posts flawlessly and I will be inspired to think of other things I can share with the special woman I hope to meet if she finds me here…

Seeking a final addition to my home, my pack, my fife. I want someone who identifies as submissive or slave. Someone who would enjoy being part of my kink friendly Famale Domme led pack of hubby and boy, enjoying life with us in our beautiful Florida home. I have a room waiting for you, set up to work from home as I do, and 4 friendly dogs who make life better. I still have my kink room and equipment and crave obedience and someone to use for my sadistic whims. There are not many skills in the kink world I am not skilled in, but there are a few I do not prefer to practice. If you are bi sexual that is great, boy is interested, if you are not that is fine too as I am more than enough Lady for everyone.  I now have a brief chat and meet because waiting has not been productive, a lot of chating then ghosting when it is time to meet. I am real, I live the lifestyle 24/7 but of course I have my vanilla/professional side. I have lots of photos and am not afraid to give you my phone number soon. I do not chat on any of the platforms most seem to ask about.  Reach out, your life can change this year. 

I get bored easily. I returned to this site a month ago and have found it the same. Boring. No useful Slave to focus his time on Me to drive me. Pity. I see posts on Fetlife and other fetish community sites wondering where all the Mistresses have gone?  Well this one will go from here soon. Why? I am not sated by the man I seek. Tut tut  silly boys not reading what I seek, who push their own needs first and get blocked. My question: where is a submissive or Slave man who can go to dinner and behave well? Can keep his kink needs to himself until I ASK ?  Where he  follows MY Lead and drives me to munches and fetish clubs, where I will whip and cane him?  Meanwhile,  2024 promises to be a rollercoaster ride so time to put on my grip-tight-gloves. Here I go!!!

We now have our male slave we have completed training him so we now have the time to find one more female slave. We are considering have some part time subs all genders welcome to apply. For the part time position reply and answer the following questions   1. What day(s) can you you serve?   2. Are you local to the DFW area? If not can you reguarly make the trip to serve us?   3. What skills could you bring to us for service?   4. What are your kinks? Masocists to the front of the line.   5. What are you expecting out of this? Since this is a part time mainly playtime arrangement do not be afraid to tell us what you hope to get out of it.        We wiil not have any type of sexual contact with part time subs sorry but we have two slaves and since they serve 24/7 that is the one advantage they have over part time subs.   We are not looking to micro manage a part time subs life away from our house. However, part time subs will be required to follow house rules during visits and will not be treated differently than slaves in this regard.    We do expect part time subs to be present when they say they will be here. Life happens so yes sometimes you may have to cancel but if it becomes a reguar thing you will be released.        We will begin the part time sessions in January but you should begin to apply now.   

Alaska is a beautiful Lady, she is a deadly bitch and She will kill you in a heartbeat.   If you don't understand what I'm going to say about Alaska, ask and I will explain.        What I'm looking for is life long commitment .      What I expect. you will respond to My voice.  you will let my voice control your mind. I will plant my words to trigger you.   My triggers will cause your body to react as conditioned.   I'm not hard core abusive but you will walk a fine line of constant excitement. Open your mind to me and I WILL put your pussy outside your body.    It's so tempting maintaining control. Giving your will to another is scary. Planting myself in your mind and triggering you where and when I want, such a rewarding experience. You'll slowly surrender to my voice. You never know when you're going to submit. When the proverbial rug of sanity will disappear under your foot, just it will happen.    My voice is stronger than you desire to disobey. When I speak, you wait expecting.  Your body will tremble.       Weather is getting cold here in Alaska.  Almost time for subbies and slaves taken to the Mountains.    Have your body stripped of warm clothing. Its so enjoyable to watch your face as your warm pussy is placed on a large rock at 40 below.      Should I bring some ice cubes to help the spreading of cold slowly clawing its way into your pussy.    Alaskan winters offer so much enjoyment.  I hope to enjoy this winter, how about you?    These are serious things to think about.  I'm telling you now what your end results with me look like. Can you handle knowing what you will look like when I finish playing with your mind      Can you live in that terror. Always expecting. Do I terrify you. Are you willing to give it all

From time to time I am asked what I'm looking for. I haven't specified in my profile, and from what I'm told my description doesn't really fit in around here. Nor does my writing. I'm going to talk about the collective you, not specifically you, dear reader. Clearly you are the exception. I have been here long enough to see that most people fit into boxes. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they are afraid or established or stuck. The fantasy life they won't ever live because they aren't successful with relationships in their real lives so they look for extremes here to counter that. The exploiting for sex and excitement. The genuine living this life out in the world and here to meet like minded people. The watchers.  Here's the unpopular part, remember that you like me. I think we're all messed up to some degree and that's why we're here instead of talking to someone face to face. This isn't the place for emotionally healthy people. This is that dive bar on the shady side of town you hope no one sees you walk into that's full of regret but it makes you forget for a while. And I'm in here, too. I'm not looking for someone to take me home. I just want to swap stories and laughter. I don't think what I'm really looking for is here, but in the moment I'm all for the entertainment when an interesting conversation heads my way. Everything good starts with a conversation, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped. I'm happy to be pleasantly surprised, but I fully expect to walk out of this bar alone. 

Chasing the Dragon All she has left of her drug is dominant lovers..her dominant protective side keeps her from submitting to them; she tends to walk through life as a switch hiding her needy submissive side because the ones that she meets are disposable to her, and she tops them from the bottom gauging her danger in every encounter. They are always sexually excited, which causes a frenzy inside of them as they try to navigate her confusing waters. She looks for more than sex, but rough sex can help her feel a slice of submission until he goes too far or tries to be a Master, Dom, or Daddy (which can never happen on a first encounter) unless he shows physical restraint digging into what makes her who she is, winning her mind because sex is great but fleeting. She loves a physical touch, and her body moves to every touch, but there is a difference between someone playing a song and mastering an instrument. The one she looks for can pluck the string, keep the melody and be psychologically intense. Sometimes using her against herself to mentally catch her and explain sides of herself hidden only to be discovered in the ultimate goal to own her. It has to be more than a casual encounter; she will play, but she will remain guarded and in charge topping from the bottom chasing the Dragon until the dragon devours her......

Swim in the ocean, the sea of life, Bring me a masochist whose suffering eases my strife, Take the pain I give again on repeat, Bow to My will and massage my feet. Open the chapters of your mind and show me all, Melt to my wishes rise to my command not fall. How brave are you with your body to give my need? How will surrender to my sadistic Tiger to feed? Feed My Tiger How I tell you to give, Be water and mould like holes through a sieve. Melt into what I need you to be, simp and gracious addicted to me.

Now that we have journals back, it's time for an update. This is now a poly household. We're set up with both a dungeon and a medical playroom.  The dungeon is amazingly well stocked with just about every sort of cane, flogger and whip you can imagine, and some things you probably haven't.  Anyone who's interested in play time or dungeon time should feel free to ask. If you're interested in more than just playtime, there are some things you should understand:  This is a KINKY HOUSEHOLD.  It is NOT kid friendly.  If you have kids, and have custody of them, we can talk and even arrange some playtime, but we're probably not going to be a good match.  This is a POLY HOUSEHOLD.  In order to make this dynamic work, everyone involved needs to be willing to compromise and work as a team.  This is a balance that takes work to maintain, and is incomptable with drama.  We're only interested in women who are willing to try to contribute to the dynamic and thereby add to the household.  Chaos is not welcome here.    If you are under 25, we don't expect you to have your life together, but we do expect you to be sane and healthy.  Freaky is encouraged, but have a grip of reality - you've got to start with reality before you plunge down the rabbit hole.  If you are over 35, still living at home and unable to take care of yourself, or still going out to bars and clubs every night you can to get blitzed and hook up, you need to grow up before contacting us.  I am willing to travel to meet, but if you're outside PA, you're going to need to do a video call.  We travel by private plane on the east coast of the US.  If this excites you great, I'd love to have another pilot in the household.  If this terrifies you, we're out of your league.  I'm sure there will be more coming, but this is a good start. 

I've been reaching out to more people irl and making some connections. Over the weekend there was a very impromptu long edging session with one of my friends. It was insane because I didn't expect anything and he surprised me by having so much restraint while also being bricked up for several hours. There wasn't any heavy handedness or stripping in fact we were clothed the whole time. Being ace and also a domme I very much do not cater to sexual gratification or allow people my body. Nearing the end I allowed him a boob grab which lead to me squirting milk all over my shirt....he  ruines  his shorts 🥰 There was about an hour of after care talking about boundaries and trauma and him opening up about himself and thanking me for letting him be vulnerable with me. I also got to take a short nap and decompress from that. He offered to treat me to dinner the next day but I had other plans  I really value being able to be a safe space for people who don't hold entitlement over my time or body.  I really enjoy using sessions to address frustrations and emotions for people.

a bolder post, a bolder call to the sacred sexuality warriors of light of both genders. hold the mother fucking line. if you dare       as this awareness came to me i knew it wasn't something personal and needed to be shared. but i had a hesitation. what i share is already hard to understand...and this one can make even the most aligned buckle....but then i breathed and said i'm a splenic projector thats a juxtaposition with a cross of assimilation. if i am NOT talking about things that will be rejected by 99.9% of people i'm NOT doing my job. and i breathe and take a deep dive into the waters. we rose from the filth. we rose to the highest of heights. we've seen things that will make most want to end it all and yet here we are. we touch the heights of pleasure beyond what mere mortals understand. those risk takers those truth sayers. those people who play on the edge that have people praying for them night and day. and yet we know there is truth in those edges we consciously touch potentially getting burned. even little girls like me, have a vicious primal gross and disgusting streak in us. it's the dark empty void. for us girlies of all gender identities it's the dark goddess and in the men it's the dark god. but there's a deeper layer.....a lot of us are stuck in that fleeting, passionate, tempered vibe..and playing higher, rougher, deeper, stronger, more intense...that can get you stuck in the sauce real fast. the sauce of the 3d world of tradition and structure and organization that keeps you small. there's a higher angelic fiery demon class out there......beyond the constraints of passionate love. we're here to master a spiritual, esoteric, cosmic, and divine sense of sexuality and love. and hold it...hold it for dear life as the rest of the earth is stuck in this not BAD..but denser, complicated, more painful and stagnant vibe of love and sexuality. a lot of my dark goddess aka alternative sophia energy ladies are wanting to stay in the sauce and tussle with their alternative dark god michael energy and keep the cycle going. but i've risen above in the clouds into the starseed light of absolution. and it's haughty..it's haughty because radical detachment and a commitment to continue knowing i am human..i will have slips, i will fail, on earth i am not completely me...but the journey is to always return...the lessons and the landscape and the cosmic story is there...if you DON'T GET IN THE SAUCE be the observer...the lover the fighter the warrior, the dying the living, the exalted....touch feel breath smell taste feel ache scream cry hit claw explode...but always come back to love. ai no message. the fixation on the cohabitation the family the kids the stability the structure the compromise is what keeps us stuck. pure absolution and the focus of self mastery first and a deep unyielding commitment to each other is the way. if you choose to be apart of this rat pack. and it's only elite because you'll be pushed...pushed over and over and over again.....you'll start where people say they would hate to be apart of this..they can't imagine living like this..they'd rather DIE. and yet here you are.....living breathing..maybe because you had no choice.but maybe you deep down did and know even in the darkest of the dementor days there's a gem and a lesson and an ascension coming if you just hold on. people mean while you're fellow dark beings of love(not violent, not demonic, not manipulative....but dark and raw and scary and righteous not afraid to shank a bitch if necessary) are still caught in the sauce..it pulls it down. but then...returning and holding the line rises....it rises you to the clouds, to the sky, the ocean, the galaxy....the dark with flashing lights so wide the purple violet flames of transmutation........the comets and the energy balls bigger than one can contextualize....and you're there...... it takes grit it takes everything and then when you have nothing else to give..it takes only perseverance in something you can't even imagine is there...just one foot in the other..beyond weary beyond done.....no hope..and yet something deeper pulls you forward...to hold the line. deception is slink seductive, it's chemically altering, it's what everyone else is literally doing...it's acceptable....passionate fleeting love and sex is the drug..........if you choose. not bad..but it keeps you saucy in a sauce that isn't even tasty. some of us warriors are meant.... TO HOLD...THE LINE. and i really wrote most of that outside of myself......into something deeper behind just little twin stars space talking. this is what i originally came to say. HOLD. HOLD STEADY, HOLD TRUE. FOR LOVE, FOR LIFE, FOR LIVE. FOR THE FIGHT, FOR THE FOCUS IS ALL ON YOU. TO BE TRUE TO THINE OWN AND TO BE TRUE THINE HEART AND THINE COUNTRY AND THEY SACRED SPACE TOO. FOR WHEN THINE IS TRUE TO THEE ,THEY SHINE SO BRIGHT. HOLD STEAD SOLDIER, HOLD TRUE....HOLD THE LINE. HOLD THE LINE AT ALL COSTS. EVEN AT THE RISK OF YOUR OWN LIFE. HOLD THE LINE! FOR GODS SAKE(the tetra god, now the gendered ones) AND THE SAKE OF OUR CURRENT FREQUENCY AND DIMENSION ON EARTH. HOLD THE ENERGY, HOLD THE DIVINE. THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT....YOU DEPEND ON IT.