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I find myself back here again after so many failed attempts, so many ruined plans, so much frustration and false hope. Why do I do this to myself? I don’t know. I can’t find what I need in the vanilla dating world. I have met a few slaves on here, so I figure if it’s happened before, it could happen again. Even though none of those meetings panned out to become long-term, they were real;
I’m Natalie. I’m a 40-year old woman who has come to embrace that which for many years I rejected and suppressed, my dominant/controlling nature, my intensity and my deeply held need for love and acceptance. I tried to be who others needed me to be, in order to remain in relationships that gave me some of what I need. But now, I want to be in a long-term relationship on my terms, with a slave who needs exactly who and what I am. I want to be truly and authentically myself with a slave who needs to live the same way, with integrity and honesty and trust as the cornerstones of a strong bond.
I won’t compromise on this point. I don’t see the need to. If this doesn’t work out and there is no one here or anywhere who wants this with me, then I remain alone, as I have been now for almost two years. I can live alone. I’m doing it. But I don’t really want to, or at least not as I am now—a dominant woman without a submissive slave in her life.
I don’t want a bedroom-only sub, or a slave who turns her obedience and submission on and off like changing her clothes. I need a slave who wants deeply (needs!) to be a good, obedient, subservient slave for a woman who will make him decisions easier (or simply make them for him), for a woman who will control him, for a woman who will use him hard, love him harder, give him her intensity and his security, who will be for his the rock upon which he can rely, who will be the sun and moon in his sky, who will be the beginning and end, who will be his everything. Suffice it to say that he will be very submissive. he will have a deep need to be controlled tightly.he will want to serve with his whole being. he will need to feel my pain and give me the release I need.he will want to see me happy with his and do whatever needs to be done to ensure that happiness.he will view my disappointment as the most tragic and horrible thing and avoid it like the plague. he will want to open himself to me like a lotus blossom and bask in the warmth and light of my dominance and love. he will be loyal and faithful and fiercely defend our bond with everything he is.
I don’t abuse or lose control of myself. I am a sensual, feeling, empathetic woman who wants to give a slave what he needs, not more and certainly not less. I have strict hard limits. I won’t do anything without consent, I won’t do anything to necessitate medical attention. I won’t do anything with underage or non-humans. I won’t engage in scat, though I do enjoy clean, hygienic rimming. I won’t share my slave with other masters at all, for any reason.
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