I have used this metaphor with people to explain what I want in BDSM, so I figured I would add to my profile for everyone.

             To me its like a slice of cake sitting before you. There are two parts to the cake, the icing and the cake itself. They are good alone but ever so much better when they are combined, layered to make the most of the flavor and enjoyment. The icing is sweet and thrills your taste buds, but is rather insubstantial on its own. It needs something to give it the substance it lacks. The cake is the substance.. It is firm enough to layer on the icing and hold it indefinitely. While it can stand alone it has more excitement and flavor when paired with the icing. The cake is the most important element. You can layer as much or as little icing as you like to the cake according to taste, the cake will still be the perfect platform for it.

            To me the icing is the all the fun kinky sex we all enjoy so much. The bondage, the spankings, that touch, that whisper from the other partner..  It is important to have this in our lives.  And it can be enjoyed alone without any relationship. But when you add to it, it becomes more enjoyable.

            The cake is the D/s for me. It is the most important part of BDSM. It is the substance that I am seeking. It can stand alone without the sex.  It is the foundation on which I want to form my life around. I also want plenty of icing layered onto my cake as I enjoy it thoroughly and find it important also. I am not looking for icing on its own without the cake to back it up to give it the substance I need..

Those few minutes right before you meet where your pulse is racing and hands are shaking..  The fear of will he like you, will you like him. Will he be the same in person as he was when you talked to him before..

Then you see him coming towards you and your heart leaps into your throat. It lodges itself there and makes you a bit breathless. He smiles and you swallow hard to be able to say hi above a whisper. The shyness in you wells up and spills over and you hope he doesn’t think its because you don’t like him. You remember the things you told him, the dirty little secrets about yourself. The ones you don’t even like to admit to sometimes. This man standing in front of you knows them.. You think oh my what have you done?

He talks and smiles at you. He makes you laugh and you feel the fear dropping away. He makes you feel comfortable with him. But every once in awhile makes an innuendo that tells you he knows what you are and he knows what you want him to do to you.

And when its time to go he puts his hand at the small of your back to lead you out. It startles you and makes you jump but it also feels so right to have him guiding you.

He tells you he likes you and wants to see you again. Your heart leaps again but not in fear this time but in happiness. You like this man. Even if it doesn’t work out it would be a positive experience. He has his hands in your hair and you melt. You lean back and give in to that.  He tells you he knows what you are,.. that you’re a dirty girl.. a slut.. You blush and look at your hands.  You feel that familiar tightening inside followed by that wave of sexual desire so strong it makes you gasp. He caresses your face and you smile because its ok….