Is there a difference between BDSM and Domestic Abuse.  I have caught myself wondering this before.  I think everyone has their own opinions on this.  In my opinion, there is a huge difference.

Domestic Abuse is non consensual.  It is one person that has decided they are the “Boss” and they act out of crazy emotions.  When they don’t get their way, they throw a temper tantrum. 

BDSM is consensual.  It is also done out of some kind of emotion, but, not crazy ones.  Most Dominants know how far they can and should go.  They are in control.

Is there such a thing as a Dominant being a domestic abuser?  I am sure there is.

Either way I never want to be in that category. I feel it is important for the Dominant and submissive to know what each other wants and needs from the beginning.

What do you think?  

Control.

To have power over something or in some cases, somebody.

From the time we are born, control comes in to play. Your parents or the adults in your life controlled everything about you. Your food, Your clothes, Your schedule.

Some of us went with the flow of things and enjoyed this control. Others of us were tagged as independent, rebels, bratty or even hard headed.

All through our lives there is always some kind of control we have to deal with. Society controls us, Circumstances controls us.

We all do eventually come to a crossroad in our lives. Do we want to continue to go down submissive road or shall we make a sharp turn and go down Dominant street.

That my friend is when you have the choice.

In my humble opinion I do not think that just because we were always submissive as a child, just because we did what pleased people that it means we are going to grow up as a slave or submissive. I also don’t think just because we kicked, screamed and had our own mind as a child that we will grow up to be Dominant.

For example.

A little boy abused from a young age. Mental – physical and sexual abuse – may grow up to be the one who craves that as an adult.

Where as a young baby girl that was also sexually, mentally and physically abused all her life – may one day realize that it didn’t have to be that way anymore. She may identify as submissive until she reaches the point to where she takes back the control that was stolen from her.

Control will follow us around all our lives. Someone has to take the reigns, but someone will always – No matter where you go in life-

But usually we all reach that cross roads where we decide what we want out of life. Do we want to be a follower or a leader.

The ultimate choice is yours.

Personally I reached the crossroads later in life, but I made the decision. I took back that control and never ever will it be taken away from me again!

Have you reached that crossroad yet?

- Always in Control GoddessMoonfixen