Maybe someone out there with a brain or even half of brain can answer.
What business does a clingy, insecure, and immature person have being a "Dominant"? None if you ask me. I'm sorry but a Dominant needs to be confident in themselves; otherwise how do you make sure your sub/salve is safe and secure when you yourself aren't? Confidence in a Dominant is important at all times, you shouldn't be relying on your submissive to build up your esteem before you can build their's up; and to always make you feel secure.
Is it just me or does something about an insecure Dominant not sound right? I mean there's nothing wrong with doubting yourself once in awhile or wondering if you did the right thing. Dominants are human and it happens to everyone Dominant, submissive, swtich etc.. But, to doubt yourself constantly and to feel un wanted or abandoned if your submissive doesn't reassure you 24/7 is NOT healthy for either one personally. And, well it can be rather straining on the submissive.
And yes, incase you haven't figured out by now this actually happened to me. I was dumb enough to stay with her, but I also loved her and didn't want to lose her. Now, frankly I feel kinda happy that I blocked and deleted her.
She said I was being an ass and insensitive to her feelings only because I didn't adjust my life around her anymore. She was no longer the center of my world. Once we broke up that went away, and God foribd I try to discover who I am; she damn near had a heart attack when she found out I'm testing the waters of being a Top.
For so long, I've lived in her shadow not my own. I took the title submissive because she wanted me to and she thought I should be submissive. Little did she realize I didn't like it at all! Especially when she would ENFORCE it.
So, now that I'm becoming my person stepping into my own light she calls me all the time and e-mails me. And, she e-mailed to tell me that my voice makes her skin crawl , and then she was dumb enough to call me back long enough to listen to the voice mail (which has my voice on it) Does that NOT make sense at all?
See, THIS right here is why I have a hard time with Dominants male or female. EVERY Dominant I've had has been whiny, clingy, and insecure. I'm not the most secure person; but an insecure Dominant just kinda makes for a bad impression if you ask me.
There's nothing wrong with a Dominant wondering if they did the right thing or said the proper thing. That's okay to wonder that I think. It becomes a problem when the Dominant starts RELYING on the submissive for reassurance, security, safety etc.. ALL the time!
I mean if it were possible to find just ONE Dominant that was secure, confident, intelligent, mature, and didn't mind having their own space. It'd be a miracle.
Anyways, I just needed to rant and get that off my chest.