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| Not so regular regular submissive gent, divorced, educated, retired, living alone, seeks a not so regular, regular Lady, who is kind, zaftig, and comfortably in charge. Someone who loves to be cherished, massaged (feet, back & soul), and long drives to nowhere and everywhere, museums, and seeums. My Lady is not afraid to wear the pants in our FLR family nor take her belt off to me sensuously when I am good, and strictly when I am not. Though I am usually a really good guy, but I am a guy.
Nice guys don't finish last in My Lady's eyes.
And while I seek a Boss of me, that does not mean that I am meek, weak, or naive or easily bossed by anyone who is not My Lady. Just saying. I just know who I am and think that there is a Dominant Lady who seeks someone like me.
E/INFP
FYI I am handy and have my own tools, was trained in finance & accounting, taught by the US Navy how to clean and fold clothes, I am an excellent chauffeur and my former mother in law once paid me one of my best compliments when she told me, "You like pleasing women." Uxorious. Exactly. Guilty as charged.
Like my fellow former sailor Popeye likes to say, "I yam what I yam" but I yam still teachable.
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In Praise of Alpha Women
Recently I got into a tussle on the message board of a supposed dominant women and submissive men group. One of the conversations regarded a gent being unable to connect with a dominant partner.
Some commenters suggested that he attend more munches, and I suggested to him that he should look for alpha women in his everyday environment. I also suggested that he check out aboutflr.com which has a pretty big classified section if you are patient enough to dig through. I noted that alpha women are not black swans, just rare but are everywhere.
I was shocked by the reaction of more than a few self-declared dominants to me using the term alpha woman, considering it to be derogatory, and racist.
They believe the term to be condescending, and derogatory. I tried to explain to them that 'Alpha', just means, prime, #1, leader, or The Boss. I also noted that an alpha woman is unmistakable in their innate confidence and ability to lead.
There appear to be no alpha women in that group!
Alpha women are comfortable leading, and men are generally comfortable following them because of the innate leadership skills they display and their confidence in leading.
I believe the alpha woman to be a rare but sacred creature but there are many out there, just not all of them attend munches. And just because someone owns a riding crop and some leather does not make one dominant.
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The Intimacy of a Hairbrush
There is a raw intimacy to a good OTK hairbrush spanking. You know the kind. Pants down, bare bottom up, kicking, crying, snot dripping spanking. Not just the one you need, but the one you deserve. The ones where you don't get to say "When!"
Recently in a fetlife conversation with a friend, I wrote that to me there is nothing more intimate than an intense OTK bare bottom hairbrush spanking.
To me, that is about as close as you can get to an old Star Trek Vulcan Mind Meld in that these riveting spanking scenes cross and join every boundary of the physical, mental, and spiritual.
I likened the afterglow the day following a good spanking to be not unlike a man or woman 'getting laid' the night before and glowing from the effaspects of the event. Now sitting however always seemed to present something of a problem.
Let's be honest! Not really! Not one bit!
That dull throbbing thud of pain in the butt, every time you sit down, one minute making you feel guilty and like an idiot for having been severely spanked like a juvenile delinquent and the next knowing that if you did not get your ass kicked and whipped by someone who 'knew your needs' then surely life will take care of that in ways much worse than spanking.
So I am not surprised when I read someone's SpankingTube profile that under "Favorite Spanking / Sex Categories" many just list spanking.
To me, OTK hairbrush spanking is an unsung intimacy like good old-fashioned lip-locking making-out. Just sayin'! |
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Lady Willpower
"Where have you been?"
"Put. Your. Toes. On. The. Floor."
Simple sounds to some, but ear drum-shattering dog whistles to others!
One of the sexiest, most exciting aspects of spankoland to me and many others are the games of the mind, will, and control, which is why 'trust' will always remain the watchword in woodshed whippings, spankings, and other screams in the night.
In the myriad background of the things that I am writing and researching and figuring about myself is FLR consensual non-consensual CNC spanking relationships.
While there is more than enough in the written word and deeds to rightfully frighten people away from M/F CNC Domestic Discipline, the power dynamic is completely different when reversed in Females spanking males.
In that latter case of women disciplining their men in "order to form (and ensure) a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, and promote the general Welfare" this can serve as a check or governor on men's uncontrolled power.
Fetlife and much of kinkyland devote incredible amounts of content to whips and chains and the bondage required to keep a sub in place to be whipped and flogged.
The only bondage required in CFNM Clothed Female Nude Male Domestic Discipline/Punishment spankings is the ability of the Domme Disciplinarian to be able to bend the will of the submissive spankee to obey her, even while knowing that she holds the ability to crush his virility like a boy.
In the old clip from Aunt Vicki, what was stopping that lad from jumping up and getting the hell out of Aunt Vicki's house in North Ft. Worth rather than staying and be savagely strapped?
https://xxxbunker.com/auntie_straps_thieving_not_her_nephew
I know that her lap and paddle ensured that I finished business school with a 4 point 0 GPA out of abject fear of telling her that I did not do well, one of my follow-up check-in maint spankings.
A Lady's Willpower over her man can be no less powerful than what a horse rider exhibits over their horse. What makes an 800-pound horse obey instead of crush the rider? What makes a naked man lie across the clothed lap of a woman that he knows can make him cry if she wants?
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Fear - A Little Dab'll Do Ya!
Like the old Brylcream advertisement from yesteryear about how "a little dab'll do ya!" The same can be said about the fear of a good woodshed whooping.
https://youtu.be/bRBIJIsbRIM?si=0obfSbDiXWCWOqzK
The well-justified fear from the pain and humiliation of a no-nonsense, no-way-out, welt-raising, Almighty praying, yelling, kicking and crying, bare bottom ass whooping is missing from society. Because of the absence, I think it can be argued as one of the root causes leading to the increase in crime, infidelity, and divorce.
FEAR, a "Fantasy Experience Appearing Real" is pitched as a pithy acronym to encourage men to screw their gonads on and not be afraid to enter the fray. As it should be. Although a little bit of fear is not a bad thing to have as a psychological guardrail to help keep us safe from our worst selves.
Every time I climbed a pole to hunt for some dial tone or fix a phone I had a healthy fear of the thousands of watts of electricity that could fry my very spankable ass right off the pole and into the morgue.
When I was a Gun Mount Captain as a kid in the Navy serving aboard the USS Henry B Wilson, I did not want ANYONE in my gun mount or in my gun gang who did not have a healthy fear when we were working. Not immobilizing fear, but healthy fear: "This is not the time to learn about FAFO!" like on the USS Iowa in 1989.
Despite Keltic people being encouraged to "Be Brave!" on the Hurling and Football fields from childhood, Irish Catholic Guilt and fear of humiliation is a thing that keeps them from turning the world into one big tribal Hurling match!
https://youtube.com/shorts/p3D9j9cKvmE?si=F2JxpqVfxLrOIhtP
In my life, I like the idea of being a little afraid of being taken in hand, stripped, humiliated, and having my backside blistered until I am blubbering.
In my quest for a successful Female Led Relationship, if I am not a little afraid of her wrath and punishment, then that would remove all of the guardrails in the relationship.
I had read sometime back of some non-professional Disciplinarian from San Diego who had dates and married a former UDT/SEAL. Her story is their first episode of 'intimacy' was an unexpected, for him, no-warm-up bare bottom blistering with a bathbrush and naughty stick. In his shock at being crushed, she explained "is what WILL happen if you EVER lie to me!
So to me, fear is like Brylcream, "a little dab'll do ya!" |
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