lurkingdemoness

Defining the Edge of My Realm

Protecting my peace has become not just a priority but a necessity. Our time on this rock is finite, and I refuse to squander it on the trivialities that too often seek to entangle us. I will uphold decorum and courtesy where it is warranted, but let it be known—I have reached the limits of my patience.

To the male submissives who now find themselves on the outside looking in, allow me to be clear: My mate, Mr. Demoness, has set a bar that soars above the mundane. If you cannot meet or exceed this bar, then there is no reason for me to entertain you. Being treated as though I am anything less than a priority is not only unacceptable but a drain on the very energy that I reserve for those truly deserving. If this reality unsettles you, then it is a sign that I am not the Dominant you seek. Move along and cease your attempts to sway me— why chase someone who doesn’t want you? It’s beneath you. It’s beneath us all.

Ultimately, I choose peace. I choose to protect the sanctity of my own existence and to surround myself only with those who contribute to, rather than detract from, that peace. I have no interest in the noise, the distractions, or the unnecessary drama that so often seeks to infiltrate our lives.

Let nothing disturb your calm.

Power and Prejudice: Unmasking the Trials of Female Dominants

In the tangled web of our community, the truth is often veiled behind a curtain of pretense. Respect, rather than being a given, is meted out selectively, and boundaries are often disregarded as mere suggestions. For Female Dominants, this superficiality masks a deeper set of trials that extend far beyond the surface.

Boundary Battlefield

Boundaries are not just formalities—they are the bedrock of any dynamic, especially one as intense as ours. Yet, for Female Dominants, these boundaries are frequently tested and trampled upon. Research indicates that Female Dominants face more frequent violations of their boundaries compared to their male counterparts. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Aggression highlights that women in authoritative roles are often subjected to greater scrutiny and breaches of their personal limits (Khan et al., 2021). This isn't mere disrespect; it's misogyny.

The Safety Conundrum

Safety is not a negotiable luxury but a fundamental necessity. Astonishingly, Female Dominants often face elevated risks, particularly in interactions with male submissives. The power dynamics are not as simple as they appear. Research by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom underscores that women, regardless of their dominant status, are statistically at a higher risk for physical and emotional harm in intimate settings (NCSF, 2022). This necessitates a heightened vigilance that male Dominants rarely experience, exposing the precarious nature of their role.

Gratification Vending Machines

Within the community, there lurks a disturbing expectation that Female Dominants are mere instruments for others' gratification. This dehumanization reduces them to mere tools for pleasure, stripping away their autonomy and agency. The Journal of Gender Studies reveals that such objectification not only undermines the authority of Female Dominants but also perpetuates a culture where their own needs are relegated to the background (Smith & Jones, 2023). This isn't dominance— it is exploitation masked as submission.

Unwanted Touch: Consent Violated

One of the gravest offenses faced by Female Dominants is unwanted physical contact. Despite clear and explicit boundaries, many Female Dominants find themselves subjected to unsolicited touches, especially after they've already declined. This is not a mere breach of etiquette—it's a flagrant violation of personal autonomy. According to a report from Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), such behaviors persist despite a strong emphasis on consent within our community, revealing an underlying disrespect that must be confronted (RAINN, 2023).

The Attention Paradox

In a community that claims to value power and strength, it’s ironic how often Female Dominants who command attention face backlash rather than admiration. The attention they receive is not always appreciated, and the subsequent resentment often stems from deep-seated insecurities and jealousy. The Journal of Social Psychology notes that this phenomenon is rooted in misogyny and a deep discomfort with powerful women, even in supposedly progressive spaces (Taylor et al., 2022). The expectation that a Female Dominant should minimize her presence to avoid conflict is merely another form of control aimed at diminishing her power.

Final Thoughts

Remain resolute, and the façade of hypocrisy and shallow pretense will crumble, revealing the true essence of respect and strength. Hold your ground.

References

 Khan, M., Smith, R., & Jones, T. (2021). Gender Dynamics and Boundary Violations in Power Exchange Relationships. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 27(3), 234249.

 National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). (2022). Safety and Risk in Power Exchange Dynamics: A Comprehensive Overview.

 Smith, L., & Jones, M. (2023). The Objectification of Female Dominants: An Empirical Study. Journal of Gender Studies, 32(4), 123138.

 Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). (2023). The State of Consent: Issues and Violations.

 Taylor, A., Brown, J., & Wilson, E. (2022). The Backlash Against Female Authority: An Analysis. Journal of Social Psychology, 58(2), 99115.

Hard Limits: Age Play, Feminization, Human Toilet, Pegging, Race Play, Sissification

Stop calling me ma'am and stop acting like I'm some sort of kink vending machine. You will get nowhere if you dehumanize the people you want something from.

Defiant Sounds: A Playlist for the Fierce

This playlist is a reflection of the fire and strength that music brings to my world. Each track is chosen to capture the essence of empowerment, rebellion, and unapologetic rage. I love using music to set the mood and share this powerful experience with fellow Female Dominant music enthusiasts. If you have any tracks that resonate with this spirit, I’d be thrilled to hear your suggestions!

"I am not a woman, I am a god" – Halsey

"I want to fuck you to death" – Huntress

"Madness" – Ruelle

"Came for the Low" – Zhu, Partywithray

"Lilith" – Butcher Babies

"What the Water Gave Me" – Florence + The Machine

"Shivers" – Ikarus, MD DJ

"Cvnt" – Sophie Hunter

"Gimme" – Banks

"Exhumed" – Zola Jesus

"Animal" – Aurora

"Vempa" – Fourty, Bausa

"Destroy Everything" – Hatebreed

"Fuck with Myself" – Banks

"Nightmare" – Halsey

"Down on Me" – K Koke, Rina

"Pussy is God" – King Princess

"Venom" – Little Simz

"I’m Not Yours" – The Haunt

"Sweet but Psycho" – Phurs, Haluna

"Mad Woman" – Sevdaliza

"Sex & Marijuana" – Bien, Ms Banks

"Bloody Samaritan" – Ayra Starr

"You Should See Me in a Crown" – Billie Eilish

"Girl is a Gun" – Halsey

"Shinigami Eyes" – Grimes

"Venom" – Icon for Hire

"Hunter" – Björk

"Joyride" – Kesha

"Party in My Head" – Alina Eremia, Sak Noel

"Boss Bitch" – Doja Cat

“Salute” – Little Mix

"You Don't Own Me" – Grace (feat. G-Eazy)

"Boys Wanna Be Her" – Peaches

"On My Throne" – Neoni

"I Am the Fire" – Halestorm

"Kiss My Knife" – Siiickbrain

"I Don't Give a Fuck" – MISSIO

"Running with the Wolves" – Skott

Secrets to Domination: Wisdom for My Sisters

To my cherished Sisters, allow me to share the wisdom I've gathered... These are not instructions, but heartfelt guidance from one who has walked this path before you.

Guard Your Boundaries with Relentless Ferocity  

Never, ever compromise on your boundaries. Your desires and limits are sacrosanct. If certain activities do not resonate with you, stand firm. Do not let the whispers of others erode your resolve. You are the sovereign of your own desires.

Dominance Comes from Within  

What should you wear during play? Anything that makes you feel powerful and at ease. Whether it’s an imposing attire or something as simple as workout gear, your dominance is not in the clothes but in your presence. Wear what makes you feel like the formidable force you are.

Embrace Your Sisters  

Seek out those who have weathered the storms of your community. Introduce yourself to the Doms who orchestrate events and hold a wealth of knowledge. Building these connections will enrich your journey. If approaching them feels daunting, reflect on your readiness to lead. Strength is found in unity and your Sisters will be watching out for you.

Patience is Your Greatest Ally  

In your quest for the perfect dynamic(s), patience is your greatest ally. Your ideal sub(s) are out there, no matter how unique or unconventional your desires. Be patient, for the right ones will come. Do not settle for mediocrity or fleeting temptations. The right subs will recognize your worth and will be drawn to you like moths to a flame. They will be the ones who see beyond the surface, who understand the depth of your dominance and are eager to serve you in all your glory. When they arrive, you will be grateful for the time you spent waiting, for they will bring fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams.

Face Gossip Head On

If people speak ill of you, confront it directly but with dignity. Most are cowards, afraid of being called out on their misdeeds. Stand your ground and let them know you see through their facades. Do not let anyone's pettiness silence your voice.

Speak Your Truth with Confidence  

Think before you speak, but do not hesitate to voice your truth. As long as your play is safe, sane, and consensual, how you choose to express your dominance is yours to define. Your authenticity is your strength; let it shine unabashedly.

Embrace Continuous Growth  

The path of a Domina is one of perpetual learning and evolution. Every experience, every encounter, teaches you something new. Embrace this growth, and let it refine you into an even more formidable force. Stagnation is the enemy; evolution is your ally.

Honor and Respect in All Interactions  

Treat your subs with the respect they deserve. Dominance is not a license for cruelty. Honor their service, and they will respond with unwavering loyalty and dedication. A respected Domina commands devotion beyond measure.

We are allies in this journey ... Embrace your power, stay true to your path, and let your presence command the respect you deserve. In unity, we carve out our destinies; through patience, we attract those who truly resonate with our vision; and with respect, we embody the core of our authority.

Dictates of Devotion

What I Seek

I grow weary of the countless messages from males begging to serve without a single thought to what I truly desire. So, let me clarify...

House Sub/Slave

You will attend to my errands and perform whatever housework I command. Your life will revolve around my needs. I seek someone available during weekdays, someone who respaspects my time and does not attempt to exploit my resources. If you prove yourself, you may earn the privilege of giving me foot rubs. Be prepared to be humiliated, degraded, and tasked with duties you detest.

Dedicated Pain Slut

Your desires are irrelevant. As my pain slut, you will endure whatever torments I choose to bestow upon you. You will not dictate the terms of your suffering.

NOTE:

Both positions require thorough vetting. You will provide your phone number and a photograph of your driver’s license before entering my domain. No brats, and preferably no switches. Anyone who dares to use an honorific without earning it will be blocked without hesitation.

Separate Desires: The Difference Between Kink and Sex

Kink and sex are not the same. I will say it again, kink and sex are not the same. This distinction is essential for anyone wishing to navigate the complex interplay of power, pleasure, and psychological depth of the BDSM scene.

Understanding Kink

Kink dives into the psychological and emotional dimensions of desire. It is about exploring power dynamics, trust, and boundaries through unconventional activities. This can include BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism), roleplaying, fetishism, and other forms of erotic expression. Importantly, kink is not synonymous with sex. While sex is about physical intimacy, kink can exist entirely within the mind's darker recesses, involving no physical contact at all.

Key Characteristics of Kink

Power Dynamics:

Kink often revolves around the exchange of power, where one party consents to give control to another. This dynamic is a core element, offering psychological gratification that transcends physical pleasure.

Trust and Consent:

In kink, explicit and ongoing consent is nonnegotiable. Detailed communication about boundaries, safewords, and aftercare ensures that all activities are consensual and safe. Trust is the bedrock upon which kink is built.

Psychological Engagement:

Kink prioritizes the mind's experience over the body's. It involves exploring fantasies, roles, and sensations that may not align with conventional sexual activities. The psychological thrill of kink is often more significant than any physical act.

NonNormativity:

Kink deviates from societal norms and is often misunderstood or stigmatized. Despite this, it is a valid and enriching form of sexual expression for many. Understanding and accepting this deviation is crucial for reducing stigma and fostering acceptance.

The Importance of Distinguishing Kink from Sex

Respecting Boundaries:

Recognizing that kink and sex are different helps respect individual preferences and boundaries. Not everyone interested in sex is interested in kink, and conflating the two can lead to misunderstandings and discomfort.

Informed Consent:

Clear distinctions ensure all parties understand what they are consenting to. Kink involves specific practices that require thorough negotiation and explicit consent, more so than conventional sex.

Reducing Stigma:

Acknowledging the unique nature of kink helps dismantle the stigma around it. Many misunderstand kink due to media misrepresentation or lack of information. Educating oneself about kink fosters a more inclusive and respectful dialogue.

Enhancing Sexual Health:

Understanding the diversity of sexual expression promotes overall sexual health and wellbeing. It encourages safe exploration of desires, whether within the realm of kink or conventional sex.

Conclusion

Kink and sex inhabit different worlds. Understanding this is vital for respectful and informed exploration of desires. Honor the boundaries, embrace the complexities, and appreciate the unique nature of kink. Your naughty bits are lovely, but they do not make you kinky. To truly engage in this world, you must go beyond the physical, immerse yourself in psychological depths, and participate in the dynamic interplay of power and trust. Dive in with your mind and soul, not just your body.

The Pointless Feminization of Dominant

"Domme" isn't a real word. It's a pointless feminization of "Dominant," a term that doesn't need a gendered twist to convey power. Dominance is about authority and control, not about being male or female. Adding an extra 'me' to the end of the word doesn't change its meaning or make it more fitting for Women. It's a useless distinction that only serves to complicate something straightforward.

The essence of being a Dominant is in the command and presence, not in the gender of the person wielding it. By creating "Domme," it implies that there needs to be a separate category for Women, as if our dominance is somehow different or lesser. This is an insult to the very nature of power. Power is power, regardless of who holds it. A Dominant doesn't need linguistic adjustments to assert their authority.

Moreover, this term diminishes the universality of dominance. It creates an unnecessary division, suggesting that a Woman's authority must be linguistically marked to be valid. This only perpetuates the idea that Female power is an anomaly, something that needs special designation. It's patronizing and undermines the true equality and strength that should be inherent in the concept of dominance.

Respect is commanded through actions and presence, not through the artificial constructs of language. Dominance is a force that transcends gender, and trying to box it into gendered terms only weakens its impact. The term "Domme" is a futile attempt to categorize something that should remain pure and untainted by such trivialities. Dominance, in its true form, needs no such adornments.