I have come to realize that I need intimacy in any LT relationship; and it is a LTR that I ultimately seek.   I have recently experienced sex for the sake of sex alone, and it was good, but lacking in many ways I had not thought I needed.

I now believe that in My best interests I need to become acquainted with someone and to have at least two or three non sexual meetings, and hopefully become intimate on a friendly basis before I feel like jumping into the sexual part.

Not that I'm having a lot of sex, far Far from it……since becoming single (after 35 years married to one woman) I have had very few opportunities…..but then I wasn't having much sex when I was married either :(    I'm finding out lots of things about Myself that I didn't know before.

     I have seen so many exciting people here, male, female, and the undecided; and they all have their own on-going search for their true identities, even if they know who and/or what they are, almost all of them are evolving in some way and it's only natural that all of us do.

Recently I've met some great women (on line only, sadly) that have made me wish I had all sorts of time and resources to travel and visit with them; find out all about them and to, hopefully, become very close.   But alas, that will most likely not happen.....I'm a dreamer, a pisces, thank God !!!   and have an infinite and boundless desire to discover everything about the people that excite me, and the feelings I discover within me.

Gee, I hope this makes sense to others the way it does to me........oh well, it's MY journal, I suppose it only has to make sense to me.

     In my self exploring, I've been trying to really nail down how I feel about my bisexuality, or even if I am.   I have come to feel that I am, for the most part, straight but with leanings towards being bi.   

     The leaning part has to do with my fascination with VERY feminine looking (and acting) transvestites / cross dressers.   I guess I like the thought of a very beautiful woman who is very comfortable being herself, and who just happens to have a perfectly good (and good looking) set of fully functional male genitals.

     So, I have recently changed my sexual orientation, at the heading of my profile, from Bisexual to Straight.   Not because I have given up on exploring the bi part of me, but because, as I see it, no matter the gender of the person I'm attracted to, if they're Very Feminine and attractive to me, then they "fit the bill", so to speak.   Whereas, the burly gents wearing women's clothing are still, to me, men I am less attracted to.

     I'm sure this will be an ongoing search, and I'm looking forward to finding out everything there is to know about me.   And I'm sure that there may be times when I feel I should rewrite what I have just now written.   We'll see.