Vertical Line



Lostinthedarkness - photo 1
Lostinthedarkness - photo 2
Lostinthedarkness - photo 3
Lostinthedarkness - photo 4
Lostinthedarkness - photo 5
Lostinthedarkness - photo 6
Lostinthedarkness - photo 7
Lostinthedarkness - photo 8
Lostinthedarkness - photo 9
Lostinthedarkness - photo 10
Lostinthedarkness - photo 11
Lostinthedarkness - photo 12
Lostinthedarkness - photo 13
Lostinthedarkness - photo 14

Looking for a Master, Mistress, Couple. I am still searching for that true owner that wants that Rubber slave / Rubber Doll / Pony Girl that's Mindless Property and a Object.

I have chosen the new path of a submissive. To be cherished for the gift of servitude and obedience I have. As I no longer fits this world for former slave like myself.

As far too many owners don't know the responsibilitlies to have a slave. Former (slave Academy Trained graduate) background, Rubber slave, PonyGirl.

I am Looking for that meaning to my existence of a True owner to consume me that knows how to have a sub.

I am Australian Born and Bred with US Green Card status and UK citizenship by Decent. I am sub that loves to wear Eternity steel rings, collars and wrists and ankles slave rings, Metal wrist and ankle shackles, Calf length riding boots, Thigh-high boots, Corsets, Waist Trainers, Bondage corsets, Fishnets, Nylons, Thongs, Latex, Gimp rubber encased, PVC, Leather, Wetlook, Catsuits, Opera gloves, Pony gear, Body harnesses, Chastity bra and Chastity belts with dual plugs, Bondage shock collar, Bondage choke collar, Hoods, Tracking chips, Ballet boots locked etc.*


**I have lived this Lifestyle for 39 years with Honor.** **And served x7 slave households. Proudly**

**I was Old Guard trained, Full Service, Domestic, Sexual, High Protocol female former slave.** **Corset Training, Rubber slave, Pony girl Training, Pain Training, Reprogramming /** **Hypnosis Training.**

42 days to go before Montreal Fetish Weekend i will be arriving a day earlier August 28th. Looking forward to the Early Bird Meet and Greet cocktail party to start this long event off with.

Well It is Reserved its accomodation at Hotel Zero, VIP passes x3 for Montreal Fetish Weekend and flights booked.

I had guests fetish Model friends from the UK and another Dom who was claiming it till something happened to him coming all with it.

Now it feels lost that it might be going to this event by itself. Till it finds it feet there and hopefully like other Newbie first timers to this MFW event we get thru The Meet and Greet cocktail first night event on the 29th August and meet others to connect with especially for the play parties.

Well VIP ticket paid for January Tickets - Fetish Weekend - Montreal Fetish Weekend

 August 29th to September 2nd.

Sorting hotel accomodation next few weeks And then the Air flight finalised.

Looks like I might be going by myself this year. Sadly

The count down has started till Folsom in San Francisco starts on September 24th till It attends there. Hoping everything arrives for my Ponygirl harness and bridle/bit/reins, all the steel collars and steel slave rings, steel thick 3cm steel collar, 3cm wrists and ankles shackles, Rubber hood, Rubber catsuit, Rubber waist cincher to complete it look.

Since it missed the Montreal Rubber Weekend as It had breast surgery. So disappointed to miss it first MFW. Always next year.

Still finding it difficult to find a Decent Top to lead it around Folsom Fair. Sadly

Going back to Fetish Performing and Fetish modelling Creator again.

Placed my order in for 3cm steel collar, x4 3cm steel Wrists and Ankles cuffs, x6 wrists, Biceps and Ankles rings ordered for my New Ponygirl harness and tack outfit look for Folsom Kink street fair San Francisco September 24th 2023.

Next I am looking forward to placing my next order for the Rubber catsuit, Rubber hood, Rubber waist cincher bringing the whole look it is aiming at for Folsom 2023.

Recovering well from Second surgery for larger breast augmentation.


Arrived at the surgical facility, San Francisco waiting Operating time changed from 0700 to 0900 for 2nd Breast surgery Tits are going to be bigger.

Tits They will be even more fabulous at Folsom Kink street fair September 28th in all my new rubber catsuit , New Fancysteel Ponygirl harness and full Tack due to arrive, New steel collar rings, wrist and ankle rings, Bicep rings,padlock wrist and ankle shackles

Well my second Breast Surgery is scheduled for Monday 28th August in the morning in San Francisco to fix my breasts after Chest Trauma in Ukraine War. Old Silicone implants 650cc's to be removed and new Silicone Anatomical Gummi Bear implants 670cc's to be put in.

Being Marked or Claimed

Sub or slave.


What does being marked or claimed Mean?


First, I want to make clear when I am referring to being marked or claimed it’s being done in a romantic s€xual manner.  All actions coming from a positive place.  If these things are done in a negative or domineering way it is considered dysfunctional behavior and may even scare the one you love.  Hence, you want to make sure to participate and plan these things together.  D/s is teamwork.


You can be marked or mark someone else.  You are marking them or their body or you are being marked.   Markings can be but are not limited to scent, scoring or branding in some way.  The best way to describe marking is to consider cat marking you by rubbing against you or something with their muzzle, leaving their saliva behind so that other cats will identify that they own you.


Why Claim or Mark?


Your Dominant may choose to Mark you or Claim you during your play or make it an entire scene. They want to leave their smell or marks on you in some way to demonstrate their Dominance over you.  In some cases, they will want others to see it or it may just be for your mindset.  Some Dominants want to claim their submissive after they get particularly built up from someone else coveting you (paying you a lot of attention) or if someone touches you in a way he wants to erase.  In these cases, sometimes the markings are aggressive ones, done in a Dominant way NOT a domineering way.  You should discuss markings in downtime communications, making sure that you both are on the same page regarding the acceptable ways your DOM wants to mark you.


How are You Claimed or Marked?


There are many ways and I invite you all to imagine and find your special way to do a marking or claiming. I will just mention a few ways. Marked with €jaculate, blood, or ur!ne. You can be marked with markers, bites, brands, piercing, and tattoos on your skin. Afterward, your Sir may require you not to clean it off and go about your day with his mark on you all day. I can say that many a time it has felt so good to have Sir mark and every movement I will feel the tightness of the fluids on my skin as I move around and it makes me smile to myself. Some Dominants want to keep your scent on them all day. They can revisit their Domination with your scent on their fingers or body.

Empathy and Understanding

One doesn’t have to operate with

Great malic to do great harm.

The absence of empathy and Understanding is sufficient.

Empathy and understanding, in my opinion are a necessary requirement of a good Dominant.

Otherwise the Dominant can be considered cold and heartless, more reminiscent of the slave owners of yesteryear that bought and sold slaves with no cares about family ties being broken apart.

A Dominant HAS to understand the submissive’s mindset, the submissive’s emotions and the submissive’s physical limitations and ailments.

Then the Dominant HAS to empathize with anything that ails the submissive, mentally, emotionally and physically, to properly see to the submissive’s Health, safety and wellbeing.

Without empathy and understanding, issues the submissive has that effect the way they submit and/or perform go unnoticed or brushed aside to ferment and get worse until the dynamic starts suffering and eventually falls apart.


Well I have arrived Back in California.

Well booked on a flight 19th July from San Francisco to Cleveland, Ohio arrive 20th July for 3 to 4 weeks work. Looking to see what the Bondage clubs and play party events are like to wind down with on my down time.

Why does a slave or a sub becomes lost in this world as they find the place in it clawing to get out to be what it is. You want to scream as that part of being possessed and owned by another brings balance.

A master or Mistress bringa that meaning and strength, structure, regimentation, guidance not to fall under the pressure of not being consumed.
You feel lost.

If a tree falls in the forest. Who will hear it.

Or when your all alone in the Darkness. Who do you come home too.

Well I have made a decision after 37 years in this Lifestyle after struggling and alone to find my place as a slave.

As a lot owners truly don't know the responsibilities of having a slave.
I don't fit in this world anymore.

So i am just going to be a sub with a will, choices and rights to limits and the ability to say yes or no.

To find my life, my owner that appreciates the Servitude and the obedience of me.

The profile will begin some changes to reflect this new journey.

last Friday it paid and put in it order for it's New Custom Fancysteel Ponygirl harness and halter bit and reins. Now awaiting 4 to 6 weeks for it to be made. It is excited and chafing at the bit.

Had a ex owner who turned into a stalke. changed it profile to this to reflect it