Being in a D/s relationship is much more than sex. Its about the connection, relationship, the bond between two people. If I don't get to know everything about you, and you about me, then how can we please one another. It can't just be a physical relationship but a mental one as well. I'm a very good Dom. A good Dom should really want to do it. Sounds obvious? There seem to be quite a lot of subs who are dissatisfied with their Doms in one way or another. They are always having to ask for spankings, always giving hints about their need to be tied up or roughed up. The surest way for a sub not to get a spanking is to ask for one. I don't allow that sort of thing. It's topping from the bottom and if a sub has to do it, it means the D/s relationship isn't working. I pride myself on knowing when she needs a spanking; that's my job. In any case, what she needs, ultimately, is what I want to give her. That's what being a sub is. She wants to please me, not please herself. If you are a Dom, you have to enjoy the actual process of having sex with your sub. I have to enjoy all the details, all the ritual, for its own sake. A good Dom has to really, really want to spend an hour tying his sub up, or an hour spanking her and another hour of tlc afterwards, or an hour teasing her clit with his tongue till she begs and cries and whimpers to come, or whatever it is that him and his sub prefer to do in their D/s life together. If I get impatient with how long it's taking, if I am looking at my watch wondering how soon before I can fuck you and cum, then perhaps one could say I don't enjoy sex enough to bother with being a Dom. \n\u003c/span\>\u003cspan face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\>A Dom needs confidence. My sub needs to feel she is in the hands of someone who knows what he is doing. Confidence is not the same as arrogance. A Dom will always look for feed-back. But he must have a firm idea of where things are going. If ever a sub gets the feeling he's about to ask her, 'what would you like next', he's ruined it for her. \n\u003c/span\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\u003cspan face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\>You need Imagination to be a good Dom. Both because D/s relationships like any other kind can get in a rut, and you have to constantly reinvent, think up new routines and rituals. And also because the Dom needs to be able to imagine what things feel like for his sub. Put yourself in her place. What sort of experience is this that she's having? I always ask myself, If I were a sub, would I like it? It's my theory that the more you are a Dom, the more you can understand a sub. It's just the reverse side of the coin. Opposites attract. A good Dom must have a s \n\u003c/span\>\u003cspan face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\>ense of humor. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes what you are doing will suddenly seem ridiculous sometimes when executing a difficult bdsm manoeuvre, you fall over. Time to",1] ); //--> If you are a Dom, you have to enjoy the actual process of having sex with your sub. I have to enjoy all the details, all the ritual, for its own sake. A good Dom has to really, really want to spend an hour tying his sub up, or an hour spanking her and another hour of tlc afterwards, or an hour teasing her clit with his tongue till she begs and cries and whimpers to come, or whatever it is that him and his sub prefer to do in their D/s life together. If I get impatient with how long it's taking, if I am looking at my watch wondering how soon before I can fuck you and cum, then perhaps one could say I don't enjoy sex enough to bother with being a Dom. A Dom needs confidence. My sub needs to feel she is in the hands of someone who knows what he is doing. Confidence is not the same as arrogance. A Dom will always look for feed-back. But he must have a firm idea of where things are going. If ever a sub gets the feeling he's about to ask her, 'what would you like next', he's ruined it for her.