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lilvicious

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I am not looking for a hook up, a booty call, or anything of that nature.

I am submissive. I repeat I AM SUBMISSIVE

First and foremost DO NOT send me a friend request without messaging me. It's annoying. If you want to be friends I would like to make sure we at least spoken to one another. Probably my own little quirk, but one I insist upon.

With that said I want to share the qualities I desire in a Master.

-Humor. I'm a playful, silly, girl and I love to laugh (not at my own expense). I hope that my jokes, teases, etc. don't piss you off. Not saying I don't want an intense, serious man, buuuut I hope you can laugh too.

- I don't want to teach anymore. There's a difference between me explaining what I like and we're researching that together and me taking you by the hand for everything. I have a dominant personality (I am NOT dominant). I work in a field where I must be in charge and sure of myself. I don't want to question you or doubt you or your experience. I must be sure in your knowledge of what's going on and trust you so i can be what you want me to be.

-Say what you mean and stick to it. Precedent is big with me. If you keep saying you're going to do something and I test the water (sometimes I can't help myself and I apologize for that) don't give in. I need to know that you will and can do as you say whether that's in punishment or a promise to be there. If you always say you will do such and such and then don't then you have set a precedent with me and I will be upset when you try to enforce something when you particularly never do. I hope that made sense.

-Trust will come. So please be patient with me. i will put my life and my trust into your hands. I will do as told believing that you have already thought out the kinks and anything that can harm me beyond what I can handle. I will give you everything with the intention and thought that you will be responsible enough to handle it. I am your responsibility. My trust is yours. Please don't abuse it. I also need to trust that I can lose control and you won't abuse it or lose your control with me. I NEED to lose control and trust you to take the reigns and guide me.

-Control/Force. I know I'm a "bad" sub for wanting to be force, but it turns me on greatly. I know most people will read that and stop. A sub should WANT to do what is asked of her, because she wants to please her top. I get that. And I do. I swear I do. But, I like to look up and see that foreboding look of -what did you just say- or feel that hand tighten in my hair/arm/whatever or just feel your strength and power. Oh gawd, how I crave to feel your power, your strength via mental or physical and get that spike of adrenaline coursing through me ... I can't explain it. I tried and I think I eloquently failed.

-Expectation. I NEED to know what you expect of me. I NEED to know what to do in situations. I LOVE non-verbal communication. A look, a gesture, etc so I know exactly what is expected of me in any given moment. Especially in public. Maybe it's because I grew up in a military household where I had a set of expectations. But I NEED that. Badly.

-Dark. What is dark? I still have no clue. I know i'm not your typical female needing romantical rose colored glasses and cuddling. I'm more rough. i'm more ... dark. That's all I got to express a feeling I'm still trying to figure out. Sorry. Actually I think I have a poem that describes the 'dark' almost exactly.
There's a Monster hiding in the mirror, When I lean in close it gets nearer, He looks deep into my eyes and sees my fear, "Hush, baby hush," He whispers, "You're the only one who knows I'm here." Author - I'm not sure, but that's what I want. I don't see this image at the Monster in me. I see this image as the Monster I see in the mirror as I star at the man behind me just before he grabs me and I become his. I still feel like I didn't explain this well.

The above is for me to add or edit as time goes of my desires, wants, and needs in this and maybe .. just maybe I'll find him. But as of right now; I am not looking or actively seeking him.

Alright so enough people have asked what I'm into. Let's try something easier. What I'm NOT into. I'll try (almost) anything once. But what I totally am not into is: severe pain (i'm not a pain slut), titty/nipple torture (looks like pain to me) blood, scat/waterworks, vomit, NO animals, No one under 21. Humiliation. Those I just will not do.
Please be max age of 52. If you're older I'm going to ask if you are still "active." I'm sorry and I don't mean to be mean. I just don't wanna play 'nurse.'

I reserve the right to add more to my limits as they come up and more to my profile.

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4/30/2014 3:06:44 PM

The Monster .. I WANT This

 

There's a Monster hiding in the mirror,

When I lean in close it gets nearer,

He looks deep into my eyes and sees my fear,

"Hush, baby hush," He whispers, "You're the only one who knows I'm here."

 

Author - I'm not sure.


4/15/2014 9:00:42 PM

I am too dominant. 

Here is an article on line about the Alpha Submissive: 

The submissive alpha female is a woman who is strong, confident, bold, and assertive in her life and her dealings with people in general, but wants a dominant man in her life because she finds it sexually exciting to be dominated by a strong, powerful man.  An “alpha submissive” woman (or a “submissive alpha female”) is assertive and even aggressive when the situation demands it, I would not say that she is dominant. 


I feel like this form of submissive is me. Entirely me. I have a dominant personality. I know I do. I'm the oldest child, I still take care of family problems that may arise, and I'm in a field where you are in control. But what I am not is Dominant. Can I take control of a situation? Yes, and I usually do. But that doesn't make me a domme. 


*sighs*


So I was looking for a dominant sir. No, I wasn't really looking, but if I happen to find him then cool. I thought I was talking to a dom. Actually there were two people I was interested in and getting to know better. No lie. Both 'Doms' asked me to dom them. *facepalm* I have said repeatedly to them I am not dominant. That I have no interest or want to dom another person. And yet it happened again. All I can ask is why? What am I doing wrong to get men who say they are dominant submitting to me. This isn't the first time or the tenth this has happened? I don't understand the aura I'm throwing out there to get this reaction. 




9/14/2013 1:19:35 PM
one of those days. i can tell it's gonna be one of those days. when there's static and chaos in my head. when i feel so numb and yet so sad. I've come to realize I'm not good enough. when i was 20 i was lucky to find my Sir in the first go round. he broke me in slowly. made me crave this life style and more. much more. darker. then he got sick, went home, and i was released to "find someone who can make me happy since he can't." fucker. 10 years later and I'm so lost. i tried. i swear i have. even denying myself who i really am. pretending to be this demure girl cuz that's what subs are...or what doms want. the only thing changed in 10 years is i want it rougher maybe thats asking for too much. all i know is that every dom after that seems to only want to fuck me, or submit to me (wtf!!!), or hates how strong i am. i don't want to be broken yet that seems to be the common theme. break her. make her demure. i haveto start looking at the common denominator in all this and it's me. maybe what i was originally taught was wrong. a Master does not own a strong girl and look down on her with pride. gawd, i want that. i miss everything about bdsm. if i was owned my Sir would chasse the static/doubts, etc away. but he's not here. there is no sir. just me. and a need ican't quench by myself. realization: don't pick me. I'm never good enough and I'm tired of failing.

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ticklegirl85
 
 Age: 24
 St. Petersburg, Florida