Don't you just love it when you finally start talking to someone you know is real, things are going great, they seem to have a lot of what (you feel as though) you have been missing, then poof...they are gone. No words, not even a go f**k yourself...just gone. Just about given up here in this world that is CM. 

I do not need a fucking man, I'll get one later if I can. I do not need a man at all, I do not need one short or tall. Not in a house and not in his van, I do not need a fucking man. Not on the couch and not in my bed, I'd rather sleep alone instead. I do not need a fucking man, I tried it once then turned and ran. I do not need one here or there, I do not need one anywhere. I do not need a fucking man, there has to be a better plan. Not one at work not one at play, I do not need one night or day. I've said it once I've said it twice, a world without them would be nice. Black men, white men, men in blue - I am threw with all of you. Even though they make me drool, I'm not a fan of the dating pool. I would not could not be a fool, not even for the biggest tool.                                

What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah, that's right! I wasn't thinking.

Truth is no more solid or static than a mirror reflection.
Each unique object sees varied angles of perception:
The clock sees time running on and on from high above the rest;
The rug sees only what lies above it, no view of itself at all.
Even the twins must stand side by side to peer into the glass.
Each time you look, a different person stares back:
You have altered- grown older, angrier or wiser, more regretful or forgiving.

Searching for truth is like grasping at smoke.
By the time your hand envelops the dark puff, it has already changed form and evaporated-
No matter how tightly you clench your fist, no matter how many attempts.

As I explore my world, the horizon exponentially expands;
Every shard I learn creates a thousand more unknowns.
It's maddening to ponder all the truths I will never collect,
Yet I find bliss in my unwanted ignorance-
I find great joy in pondering the infinite possibilities
Rather than bonding with the illusion of "the truth"-- simply a mirage.

He gives me butterflies and goosebumps and he makes me smile every time I think of him.....just sayin!!

  Lost in dark depression not knowing where to turn,

I opened the window to my soul to see what I could learn.

  I swept up the depression, scrubbed the sadness and the hurt,

I put it all in trash bags and set them on the curb.

  I found stashed in the corner, tucked high upon a shelf,

A treasure chest of knowledge that I could love myself.

  And where my future takes me I know that i will win,

Because I opened the window to my soul and let the sun shine in.