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What am I looking for? It seems thats the question we all default to asking and we all strive to answer. So, here goes...
More than anything, i want a partner with which I can share my life - . As cheesy as that sounds, Ive come to realize thats whats most important to me. Dont get me wrong...im not talking about in sickness and in health Im talking about a bond whose foundation is so deep that it doesnt need an out-dated, ill fitting religious paradigm to have strength and staying power. A bond that is based on open communication, complete transparency, implicit trust and for fucks sake - a willingness to put ego aside and sort shit out when it hits the fan. A love that consumes with such completeness that it feels like your completely spent while having infinite energy all at once...because you just cant wait to experience more with that person.
What does this have to do with kink and BDSM? I guess from my perspective, everything...I learned a lot through my failed marriage and it had nothing to do with the fact that we were sexually incompatible. We were doomed because we both compromised ourselves in ways that prevented us from being whole on our own. And if Im being brutally honest with myself, this is a pattern I see all too often in relationships. Were so scared of not being able to find it that we trick ourselves into thinking that compromising is the adult thing to do because thats what emotionally mature people do.
Now dont get me wrong, there will be plenty of days when interests, desires and priorities are misaligned and we dont see eye-to-eye. I get that. Im not looking for perfection or someone who just rolls over and does whatever I want, when I want...and this, despite the fact that Im dominant in nature! how ironic. Quite the opposite, I want the us to matter more than the I or the me without...and I feel the need to re-emphasize...WITHOUT sacrificing the individual.
At this point, you might be saying...da fucks he talking about?
I need a woman that can handle me...a girl that thrives on intense conversations, intellectual discourse, a LOT of passion and, is attracted to my level of energy and intensity. Mind you, I am not always on...I am just as likely to grab you by the hair, pin you against the wall and painstakingly devour you as I am to cuddle up next to you on the couch and watch a flickering fire in complete silence. I need a woman that expects me to push her to become the best possible version of herself...and does the same for me. A woman that appreciates me for everything that I am and recognizes that I will kick my own ass harder than anyone else. A woman that knows how to soothe her man after hes had a horrific day with one look...or a single touch. A woman that stands proudly on her own two feet...who is independent, strong, articulate, capable, kind, compassionate and who has no sense of entitlement. A woman that WANTS her man to take care of her and treat her like shes the only girl in the world...a woman that appreciates what she has and has the ability to roll with lifes challenges and can shrug off adversity.
Because at the end of the day, I firmly believe that when you have the right person at your side, walking through life hand in hand, you can both accomplish anything you want as individuals AND as a couple.
and for anyone wondering, Im 60, built like a lumberjack, full beard, brown curly hair, brown eyes. If we click, happy to send pictures.
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