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Sometimes I think that ideally, I'd like to find a 24/7 TPE situation. I have no preference regarding the gender of a partner. Until I can find that, I've no objection about doing onto others more casually. ( It would also take a uniquely interesting Dominant to gain my attention. This isn't impossible though.)
I'm getting a lot of responses, so let me clarify a few things. The chat thing doesn't work on here for me. No, I won't cam. No I won't give you my phone number right off. No, I won't send you a picture immediately, last time I did, I had a guy show up where I work.
I'm not here to be a maid or nanny, and no I won't come live in your trailer. I make enough to afford a maid. If you can't, then you need to see about changing that before you even think about asking me to be yours.
As to what I'd take as mine? We'll see what catches my fantasy. I'll either be your dream lover, or the worst thing that ever happened to you. Often both at once.
I have three hard limits: flying, cats (I'm allergic), and water - I won't go over it, on it, or near it. Thank you.
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I'm tired of the proDomme requests. If that is what you are looking for, I can suggest someone I trust for it, but it is not per se an interest that I have. Not that I wouldn't want to see pictures mind you... |
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The couple I knew managed to get married. I'm happy for them. I've just returned to the world of work after having been on vacation for a bit. It was nice to get away, but now I'm playing catch up. Ah, the joys of cubicle dwelling (even though I have my own corner office unlike the peons). |
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I had someone that I was almost starting to like. I was even going to let them visit me, and perhaps attend a wedding with me. Then they didn't bother to contact me for a week. Worst of all, this person doesn't seem to feel like anything was done wrong on their part. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.
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I get a lot of the "Can I serve you?" emails. That's all they save. Often as not the sender doesn't even have a profile. Hmm... They probably sit there wondering why I don't respond. But then, they likely send a 1000 of the same thing, so probably don't notice.
I keep having to refer back to the one couple that I know that is working out. Positive examples are rare. How did he get her attention and she his? Well, for starters, from what I follow, he sent her a real email - not a form letter - referencing what she'd written in her profile and things he thought they might have in common. She wrote back a day later. That led to a 12 hour conversation. By the end of the week they were engaged.
Now, I'm not saying that I expect that to happen. Things like that are rare, but they do happen of course. The point of this story is that what started things was someone taking a chance, thinking before typing, and actually taking the time to interact.
Even if you are destined - kismet, fate, blind chance, whatever - to be a person, I firmly believe that fate can still get (bleeped) up. How do you (bleep) up fate? Be sending a form letter. |
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My friend who's getting married, he met her off here, was happy yesterday. His fiance was able to call (she's in the military). It's easy to forget how much can miss the sound of someone's voice. It almost reached my sweet side. Maybe it did. Of course when my sweet side is touched, it just means a bad touch for someone else, as I'll only you beat you harder to get it out my system.
And no, to answer a common question, I am not "sensual" in terms of what I do. I am a natural born sadist, and possibly a sociopath (or at least have the tendencies). Were I a man, I'd doubtless be on death row by now.
I'm only interested in men who "don't" want to be bi/gay. That way, when I make you do it anyway, I take greater pleasure in the suffering. Where is the thrill for me if you like it? Why would I want you to enjoy something? |
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My new toy came the other day. A pair of sap gloves. For those of you that don't know what those are, then Google is your friend. Ah, the possibilities... They accessorize my length of rubber hose oh so well. Who has secrets? (Don't you all?) Mmmm, shall I say it? "Ve have vays of making you talk..."
Now I just need someone to help me rig up that pulley on the ceiling. |
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I increasingly find interesting the number of slaves/subs that claim to have a Mistress/owner that has sent them online to find someone else to be a part time owner or for some reason involve a new Dominant. Umm, can't they think of something better to do with your time? Like washing a car? Ironing? Trimming the lawn with nail clippers?
Equally interesting is the number of female slaves claiming to be seeking a sister slave. I suppose that makes a bit more sense, what with the caring and sharing and all that business. Yet... When I'm hungry, I go to the store and choose what I want to eat myself.
Hmm, I suppose the world is just a curious place. Like all the couples, where there is mysteriously nary a photo of the two together. At least learn to use Photoshop. Then you have not only an imaginary woman in your life, but can be shaking hands with Lee Harvey Oswald and E.T.
That's the problem with the world today, people just don't care enough to lie convincingly. |
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I received a form letter today and called someone on it, this was the response I received back:"And you expect a duly impressive gentleman to think about YOU PERSONALLY in the very first instance of contact? You live in a dream world and it does not go unnoticed."
Yes, apparently I'm the one who's self deluding in expecting someone to put a bit of thought into before contacting me. LOL. And then people complain that they can't find an owner... Shakes head.
If one must try a pick up line, then "Hey baby, what's your sign?" is still going to trump the form letter. I get lots of Spam in my inbox as is - stock tips, credit card offers, and oddly enough offers to enlarge my penis. I don't need more form letters. Shakes head. Now the "What's your sign?" line will still earn a punch or three to yonder cojones, but at least it's a step up.
I blame 1. the fluoride in the water and 2. a failure of the G.O.P. to finance proper lead abatement programs. Apparently, there is a generation of men that sit in their apartments and chew the pealing paint chips. Hint of the day - drink bottled water and invest in some Bubble Yum. Strawberry tastes much better than lead based paint. ("Mmm, salty.") |
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Re: adult babies - not really my thing. If you insist, I'll go fetch a dry cleaning bag and let you a new crib toy. |
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Hmm, I fell asleep last night and left my computer on. When I checked it again this evening, there wasn't a single new message. Excellent, I've managed the schedule of alienation well. I love me. |
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It's interesting that so many Female Dominants classify themselves as "BBW". Now personally, I think I'm just fat. But I'm 5' 7"(ish) and - as of last week - top the scales at a whopping 137. I could easily stand to trim ten or twelve pounds. The kind of poundage that they call vanity pounds at the gym. Why? Because I am vain. I consider myself "okay", but for online I'm apparently smoking hot. That's an interesting commentary in and of itself. Now, I'm all for someone being proud of what they look like, and many women can easily weigh substantially more than I do and look quite striking/beautiful... But... If you can't manage to drag yourself down to Jenny Craig and stick with it, how exactly are you supposed to manage to control someone else? If you can't manage that, then spring for a gastric bypass or other corrective surgery. Otherwise, the only thing you are bringing to the table is your drought and famine resistance level. The same criticism goes for many men. Unless that 300 pounds you've packed on your five foot nine frame is pure muscle (in which case I'll happily make you haul rocks and do my landscaping), get yourself down to the doctor and get on a diet and excercise program. Hut two three four... |
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No, I don't ever ask for, nor will I take money from someone for a "session". The rules with me and "tribute" are simple - there isn't any. The only caveat is that if ANY bodily fluids get onto my clothes, then the person that put them there is responsible for buying me a replacement outfit AND new shoes. I don't trust dry cleaning to remove your taint. |
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Stupid comments that I get and which annoy me - 1. It is flying and cats. Jokes about flying cats don't amuse me. 2. A dislike of water does not mean I do not bathe. It means I don't go on the ocean. 3. "What part of Michigan?" (as a one liner) - If I wanted you to know, wouldn't I put it in my profile?
4. "May I serve you?" - Are you the guy who asks me if I want to supersize my order? 5. "Hi my name is X and I am from some god awful third world cesspit, can I come be your slave?" - Umm, NO! |
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Before you send me a note that you think will be funny, or witty... Ask yourself... Is it? Or will I just think you have been chewing on paint chips? Lately, it is mostly the latter. |
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The best people, for this to all work out, probably just happen across each other. They're the ones that are just meant to be somehow. Like the schlubs you see on TV advertising a vanilla personals site. They'd have found each other anyway, somehow, if they are truly that much in love. You can't count on something like that though.
Now brutality, sadism, and manipulation... A person can find that any old day of the week you'd think. |
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If you think the mop handle end of the mop is bad, wait until I use the mop end of the mop. |
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Anyone entering my life is likely to end up a victim. For reference see the many jokes about the scorpion, the punchline is always that you are bitten b/c a scorpion is a scorpion. There are many ways to become a victim, and the simplest way for it to start is to let me get into your head.
Another satisfying comment (as always, sic in its entirety): "so you must be one of the sickies a true geezer - you are as much a dome as i actualy stuck my finger up my bum. lier fake go pull it off by yourself in private you transparant idiot."
I'm glad that I bring such joy to so many lives.
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Violence is usually both close at hand and near to heart. Sex and violence are always so close though. A thin razor's edge dividing them
The razor slices thin and the panes blend.
At that razor's junction, there am I. - Moi. |
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I threw away my pills. They made me too mellow. The old me, that was the mellow me. Now I'm actually angry all the time.
Question of the day, why don't I leave Michigan if I hate it? A: Because then I'd have to find someplace new to hide the bodies.
Answer to Question of the day 2: Perhaps. It depends. Maybe. But. Because. |
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There's a homeless guy that lives in the dumpster near the garage I park my car in. I call him Sterno, owing to his drink of choice. Sterno's constant companion is Frank. Frank walks around with a jug full of his own urine and likes to take his penis out in order to wave it at traffic. This week they seemed to be arguing. Sterno was hitting Frank with a rolled up newspaper while Frank was screaming his ABC's (as in the song, "Now I know my abc's").
I guess all couples can have a rough spot or a fight. That's lesson one. Lesson two is that they were happily sharing a bottle of MD 20/20 later. Thus there is someone for everyone, and remember that hard times are fleeting. If a guy who lives in the dumpster can find someone to share his life with...
Wait, lesson three isn't applicable to me. I have standards. Hmm, no wonder I reject so many applicants. They're too much like Sterno and Frank. |
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My friend who is getting married told me something interesting and also quotable: "If you are going to end up regretting something, regret that which you have done, not that which you have left undone." Rather poetic.
Someone called me the woman of their dreams. I'm actually the kind of woman nightmares are made of. |
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I classify people by nickname. I alone give these nicknames. It is a control thing. As you exist in my world, you exist by the name I bestow.
Sometimes, I am asked what I expect to find. I try not to expect anything. However, I know what can happen.
With the nicknames comes a short list of NonIdiots. One Non Idiot was less an idiot than all the others. (He's a male Dom, a breed often plagued with... well, you get the idea.) For six years or so he searched. One day he found it. Fate, kismet, happenstance, it happened. Four days after he heard her voice, he asked her to marry him. She said yes. They are still doing well. True love, instant and total, mutual devotion... Find that and you've found the only thing that matters in all the world.
That's the gold standard. It happens one in a million. The rest of us strive for it. Odds being what they are, we get the other 999,999. We're human though, we keep looking anyway. That's what being human is all about. Denying the odds. |
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From the commerical for the 'Fly Boys' movie-"If your plane catches fire - you have three choices : You can ride it down and burn. You can jump from several thousand feet. Or you can take the quick and painless way out." [The officer is then shown handing out revolvers.] I saw the commercial for this film on Adult Swim tonight. It seems apt and reminded me of what relationships with me are like. |
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Yet another compliment:
"Cold, hateful, self deluded and pretentious, you have all the attributes that embody a supreme dome[sic]. Did you have to work at this, or did it come naturally? "
And those are just my good points. As a friend commented, with his usual insight, "I feel like a guy who has a feral cat around that brings him the heads of animals she's killed." |
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Someone asked: "How did you first learn you are Domme?" I replied, "I'm like Popeye. I am what I am. Only I don't eats me spinach right now."
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Most likely I'll scar you for life, both emotionally and physically. You'll end up at the hospital, naked and bleeding. Then you'll have to show the nice men on a GI Joe doll where the evil lady from the internet touched you. Is that what you want? |
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Another satisfying comment from someone (sic throughout): "the funny thing about You, Ms Laura..........is that the more i got to know You...........the more i disliked You...good luck to You, but i especially wish good luck to the person that You finally choose (if that ever happens) i truly feel sorry for that poor, unfortunate, misguided soul!"
Also from today: "You seem to be the kind of person that would give a bent coat hanger as a gift at a baby shower."
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Someone I consider a friend told me something amusing today. I asked if I could quote him, he said yes. He told me that I had a sense of humor he described as bitter and ranging towards vile. I thanked him. It was one of my favorite compliments this week. The other was when I was told that I was mean and a nightmare. Some people say the nicest things. |
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