Stable or not stable? a bit of both right now. moving towards the former i think.

things will improve.

as a friend said to me recently, life is anti- entropic.

I intend my life to be.

MY online partner left me, I havent been very active here so im saying this now.

One day they just left with no explanation leaving me to pick up the pieces.

So at the moment im learning to move on with my life, still interested in other partners, or just hanging out or cuddling. 

They left awhile ago so i have had time to mourn them and accept it, it hurt a lot but i think will make me stronger as an individual once i move past it, as i was very reliant on them.

Life is rough right now. Hanging in but not around much, to much to deal with.

Happiness

When you tell me you love being mine.
When you thank me for training you.
When you take my word that you like something.
When you brace yourself and try something scary because I asked.
When you do your best because i will be proud.
When you tell me to stop because you wont want my property to be hurt and unusable.
When you tell me your fantasies and then enjoy as i try them out.

When every moment of everyday you prove you trust me and want to be with me.

To the submissive males viewing my stuff: I'm in my bi curious phase right now. That means if we get along and you can provide transport to get here, ill curiously play around with your genitals, and i'll be the best Dom I can regardless of gender or age even.

So i guess my real question is, to the males who view and then leave, why? Send me a message and let me know. I love to improve.

Let's talk about what I want to enjoy doing to a slave (with consent). I'm going to try to keep this gender-less and on the rougher more extreme side for this post.

So first thing, I want a slave to know their place and respect their place. I want them to keep their head down and nuzzle me for attention when they need it (to use the bathroom, eat or cum). I want to dress them, I want to walk them around on a tether. I want them to consider themselves my human pet, and allow me to take care of them as such (even helping them study or go to work).

As for kink, first I want two levels of safe-word for rough play, a permanent stop and a warning. The warning is when I am starting to push to hard, and i can choose to respect it, push past it or even punish you for using it. I think this might really add something to the dynamic.

I want to use you when and where I want. if I don't feel awkward and its not illegal you should feel the same. If i want to grab you and push you against the wall then you let me, if i want to bend you over my lap while my roommates walk around you let me. if i want to order you to cum in public (which you will obey because I've trained you to) you let me. I control you as i like, i use you as i like.

I might update this more as i have more ideas, but that's a good start for now i think. I haven't even gotten into rope or bruising or breath-play.

Pray tell, who does the word sub-reddits without the dash completely break the journal? I  just spent 5 minutes swearing at my screen trying to figure out what was wrong in my previous post.

In all other aspects I love this site and how its designed and what its capable of. I hope to stay here for awhile and make use of a lot of its features which is lacking.

Work went well today, while I was working I sent my slave links from various sub-Reddit's I enjoy. I also listened to a lot of sex nerd Sandra, learning about blow-jobs, dorm sex and bdsm relationships.

I'm trying to take action and not worry about the consequences now when it comes to social shyness like applying for jobs or just saying hi, stressing consent in BDSM practices still. It seems to be working rather well so far. Hopefully I will find someone to play with or enter into another relationship with at some point.