i love you but its obvious you gave up
for a thirty minute drive to fetch a choice to imply upon me
for the rest of what i shall have
within my last thirty minute breaths
as i am driven indifferently
plotted by
whom i thought was
my one and only
...
they hinted
yet i painted
painted over the vivid hints
but the hues i have is never opaque enough
to cover over the sharp and pointy white picket fences
u have separating you and me who is right outside
...
a ploy spanning the longest
as its the most modest
but
profoundly effective
especially
when u have too many
to hide behind your hide of many
as i realize
you did
have learned from the best artistic theatrics
you even taught the one who is your shadow
...
the one who have hurt you the most
and have become your shadow
...
...
my back is aching for i am bending
i have been bending far too much i have become
a stepping stair
..
for i see your'e high in amusement
thats why you chose this to be a movement
and yet exclaimed
this was implied as your act of kindness
but its pure abandonement
...
so i will become indeed how you have always wanted me to become
and bring to my grave the unfathomable
the meaning of the horrid regret of what i can never be come
its far worse than how fish smells
after eating it
......
should i have any reason to fight and HOLD ON
???
[i know] stupid question to ask anyone anonymous
how much more unknown
...
like really
juice colored~!!!
...
for those who read my journals of last year 2014-15
sorry for its all but puke of legendary proportions
do not forget it that is if it meant anything to anyone
or someone
...
as i REALIZED TWOday
its all but a sequel to SHUTTER IS:LAND
t'was some0ne seek1ng a SPO0F that spanned one's lifetime
...
so indeed now i know why
IT broke down
thank youoow
u can never can tell let alone believe anyone in the net thing, thing
its basically like im dead already
but the agony is very amuzing isnt it not [english accent]
and yet still lies and moeeeeeR
dahRRRlenggg
...
i think i now realize "U" "R" related to the dragon snake
but really even include uncle sammy
saaaaiiighhhyy
...
they like they've hinted on that so long ago
and just the reactions of sum1 of being found
proved to me
the caUSE
like wow
but still i stayed UP
and stupidly HOPEd wen
theres nothing to hope for
like;
Bitchslapping Full on Frontal Face Slapping Probably Fruity Obviously Gorgeous
[like read that again out so fast, its FAAHanneyy]
so that just means nothing is anything THERE in that place of what i was led to believe
that i aimlessly HOPED ferrrr
like again;
Bitchslapping Full on Frontal Face Slapping Probably Fruity Obviouvvly Gorgeous
...
THIS PROFILE IS
of someone who believed in an emotion with four letters starting with L and ending in E
can u guess
???
...
its actually three
like rule of thirds
its three leters namely
LIE proved
...
now i am a believer!
LOL~!@
if anyone here knows that its not a LIE
and the TRUE WHEREABOUTS
of HIM -that hunk of a prince
that anonymous prince of true charms
and not fake charmies
seriously
where have all those real cowboys gone to??
everyone is just faked'N'faggyfoggy cloned too many COWboyz
..
like LOVE is TRUE
like right....[extreme sarc]
then i hope to hear it
FROM YOU
maybe thats a rope
for someone like MOI who sum1 fucked a hole
and left/pushed IT-[the freak of a creature] in the foukt up howlll
through a turtle once said; guerilla of passive tactics that have escalated
with each passing moment of your chosen rendition.
....
astounding deliberate clues
its a big SCENE indeed
like the movie of the year
but it has an unwritten synopsis as how the events happened in chronus
no clue nor a crew but spoken by many names of which are thee congregation
..
there should have been a crew like they shud
have had it filmed
cause ill sure be laughing till my unknown grave
...
THE PHOTO BELOW
IS OF ME, WHEN I WAS STUPID
THOUGHT SOMEONE I FOUND HERE LOVES ME...
,,...
THATS A PHOTO OF A VERY BROKEN CREATURE OF SORTS
INSANE CRAZY AND ILL IN EVERY ASPECT OF PSYCHE AND BODY
...
JUST BECAUSE OF A FALSE BELIEF
OF WORDS THAT NEVER EVEN EXISTED
LET ALONE IN WRITING
HENCE IT WAS ALL MENTIONED
.....
WHAT ONCE WAS NEVER WILL
FOR ITS SOMEONE'S AUDACIOUS
FLOWERLY PLOT
.,..
TOMORROW IS BUT A DREAM
THEREFORE I SHALL LIVE IN
NOTHING BUT DREAMS
FOR THIS WORLD IS NOTHING BUT LIES
SO I HOPE YOULL MEET ME IN YOUR DREAMS
la la la ala la allaa
RIGHT
???
LOL
==================
from here below is what i used to be
i guess i was part of something i thought
was good
but it was in fact a dark theater stringed one with multiple hands
...
indeed
LOVE is a LIE from BOOKS i was constantly told, and now believe
...
Authors who i guess also was victims of that
FALSE PRETEND LOVE
never they found it
till they went downstairs
six floors down the basement
i hope ill meet them there
because i was found
a ticket to that choo choo train heading subway
deeper than subWay
oh dearie dreary dizzy me
its a twirly whirly subWay way...
so ill be playing dingly dangly with them ohh-THORS for the longest
even at my wake
over and over
like an immaculate playback
over and over and over again repeat
RePeatte SinNopeSisss mode
...
they the authors left a HOPE for those who might find
and read their writings from above top level
to perhaps a wilting paper
from a trashy cheap
kindergarten writing book
maybe be impossibly found by any one seeking a piece of trashed paper
...
may BIIII SUMeone
who have the courage
to HONOR IT
shall move forward one square
and be seen
at least while i still am able to see
from this looking glass
or till maybee bee-four aim BLIND
...
but all
have been CORRUPTED spoiled from RAW
bee-clause ITS SUCH A COMMON THING NOWADAYS
like its a common HOUSEHOLD NAME
...
maybe one day
LOVE
will DAWN upon a morning
like its a common thing
like a name
...
but i wont be there like a name
for i will BEE seeking someone named
NEMO in here in SLUMBER-LALA-LAND
...
YAWN and YAWN
TIRED and ACHY
from ELSEWHERE is SHAKY
yakity yaddaya tralala lou
....
the stupidity really starts after the line below...
its truly a visual and written profile of
a
cheap pitiful trashy tranny creature
so sorry for stating
the cheiiiiezey obvious
its nothing but bubbles of Ziiieihr Dom O'blivious
....
bubble blahble blah-blahbubbles
========================
LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING I ALONE CAN PAINT
FOR THAT IS JUST ONE SIDE THAT ITS JUST ME
...
LOVE IS THE COLOUR YOUR PRESENCE MAKE
TOGETHER WITH MY PRESENCE
...
HOPING
THAT I AM HOLDING NOW
IS AS STILL AS STEADFAST
AS HOW WHEN I HELD IT
...
i am never perfect,
thats why i am so without shame...
for i have none really...
i hope and still believe
it is still in your heart
...
may the light be poured upon everyone who are also LOST like me for i really do see you all
...
i can only keep to myself all of you how you
who have made me see just how persevering the heart really is
that through seeing the smiles of the little joys of those here who are trapped
and yet can still find the joy of that moment
within themselves that its the light
that made me see
that perhaps i also have to be strong as how i admire your true heart
even if they cant even show that simple happiness to others...
i realize that its pain worthy just to experience that very little grain of a simple JOY
that is so freeing its eternal memories
everyone is holding in their hearts
cherishing upon it in their darkest moments
when they see nothing but disconnect
its what they hold on to
to ground their ravaged souls
and light their narrowing paths
that through everything else
they still have the ability believe
and so also inside them
is HOPE
they cherish upon it
and so they persevere
...
i see you
i see it
i have been here
right in front
that its so clear
despite how i am
..
i am in that same road too
...
because i have walked it silently
...
...
i shall be here always
until you will open
your eyes
im just right here
right beside you
...
.
i guess others only see you in the light
if they see you have
to be of benefit to them
...
i have placed candles as my prayer
and i hope the collective
will of those who also have the same hue
of the yearning of my heart
of all those souls who have persevered
and yet
have been abandoned
by time, filled with regret
and have lost
their cause
through the bewildering forest
as darkness have led them continually wandering
touch them within their core
to see the path
so that the light shall start from their heart
and anew they find and accept they shall be embraced
and be found.
💝💝💝
gia
