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I don't do vanilla well. I prefer something more like BDSM. I am a switch in that I can be dominant or submissive with a reciprocal partner, but once it is set I don't want to be switching back and forth with another switch. Sign up for one or the other and stick to it. Either role works as well for me. I put bisexual but the truth is more like no labels apply. I am a man, masculine, and enjoy sex with men and women alike. It can help to use labels for sexual orientation when there is a sexual orientation to label. I am oriented towards sex. Men and women have sex differently with their same or opposite gender. I will like sex with a person for reasons that belong to the specific experience of being with that person. Gender plays a part in how things go but I do not exclude potential partners based on a gender preference. My strict preference is about sexual domination and submission, having those roles clearly set.
I think it takes starting out with a conversation. Predicting the future is not among my skills. I know enough to appreciate the benefits of setting the stage well even for improvisational expression to come. I find that it helps to discuss and negotiate up front, establish some rules and expectations, to structure a starting point from which can follow spontaneity within guidelines. Not everyone has any business being together, so rather than force what can't work out I want to check first for the potential of a good match as the basis for reasonably high hopes.
Half the work of sorting out matches is done by how I wrote this. The next steps follow in the same way, by emails and then phone calls. Things will seem right and keep going or stop when they don't. I'm not selling anything here as much as showing up to find a match, so it's a take it or leave it kind of thing, without seduction, and only as much enthusiasm as it creates in due course.
Because I am not set on the dominant or submissive role or looking for one gender only I would like to hear what you feel is right for you, and then think about how your needs and mine could match. What I am looking for is an honest and intense connection, within the bounds of what does suit me, while being flexible where I have no set preference.
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