the need to feel pain is great lately.........so much to say so little time

so here is some things that ive been thinking about......do we as slaves or subs go blindly into a conversation with a Master and give then ultimate respect or do you wait and see if they are truely a Master.....

the second thing is why if you are forced to walk away from a Relationship with a MAster because he hs found another that suits him better can you not remain his friend.....trust me after what hell they put you through and the feelings of self doubt and not being worthy we do not want you back, yet being in an area of limited like minded people it is nice to have friends....just dont get it we do not want to interferr with your relationship and it seems that there are double standards in the life style.....maybe we as subs and slaves give too much to fast .....its the nature of us as a person.....we want to please and will do so at the expense of us.......

well thats it for the rambling for now

well Its been awhile and alot has changed. Ive grown and ive learned and this girl now understands that some in this life style want nothing more than to please themselves at others expense. When told to move on some cant and some can.....some continue to blame their problems on others. Maybe one should consider that the problems where there and even after the former has moved on the problems are still there.

This girl has spent time deciding what to do and almost walked away based on past experiences yet... with the help of new friends girl has moved on and realizes this is a major part of who she is and she can not go back.

She has explored new things and been hurt along the way yet it has been a great growning experience and now she wants to continue learning and being who she is......she is a submissive a slave and she does not need the wrong friends to remind her of this ........she has to many good friends to keep her straight and going in the right direction. Thank you to those who have helped along the way and to those that hurt guess what this girl thanks you too even though she has moments where she wishes you to feel the pain you caused......then again she cant its not who this girl is .

What humbling day. girl was reminded several times today she has a problem and yes she does. Today has forced her to see she needs training and not a little a lot. girl Is very submissive yet her feelings of self doubt and such have no place here, nor should they be dumped on an unsuspecting Master. girl does know her place, she just seems to have forgotten the way there. owned or not this girl will and can find her way back. she needs to dump baggage before even thinking of talking with a Dominant. Thank you for showing this girl what's needed and she humble;y ask for Your forgiveness. Best of luck to all that helped me reach this point of self evaluation. knowimasub