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kiram

kiram - photo 1
kiram - photo 2

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Do you enjoy exercising control via petticoat, toilet, chastity, and diaper training? Do you like hypnosis as a means to deepen these experiences? i am a submissive straight male looking to find others with similar interests. i have had a diaper fetish and sissy tendencies all my life, and i'd like to further understand and explore this side of my persona. By day, i play the role of a normal professional guy, professional contacts would be surprised to find that it is but a facade, behind which lies a deep secret... i have always been fascinated with the idea of being controlled by dominant women, who likes to exercise her power by using feminization and infantilization to keep me in line. Serving her in many ways, perhaps cleaning house, or cooking her favorite meal, all the while feeling her control around my waist. The corresponding loss of control and the power shift that occurs when wearing them is a powerful draw for me. Love the idea of being diapered in front of a well dressed woman - knowing that she is superior, the diapers proving she is in full control of even my most basic "needs". My very comfort is out of my hands, and all the sensations of the diapers enforce this fact. Looking to dive deeper into hypnosis to help explore the depths of submission and fetishes. Moving to live hypnosis from recorded files seems to be the next path to take, as i have been trying various hypnosis files, so far with little success. Interested in learning more about BDSM in general, and meeting others with similar and complimentary interests. Communicating with others who are into any aspect of diaper play is my goal, and i hope to eventually meet people in person. i would especially like to learn more about my fetishes from the domme/mommy/daddy perspective, as i struggle with what rewards they get in return. Wish to explore more ways to incorporate hypnosis into making being diapered an even more pleasurable experience. Finding someone well versed in hypnosis is a priority. Getting deeper into the diaper sissy headspace using hypnosis will allow me to better develop as a submissive. To me, diapers are a sign of complete submission, i have read somewhere that it is difficult to be a "tough guy" while wearing a wet diaper :). Want to explore various training at the feet of a dominant female, being subject to her whims and desires. Giving her pleasure and entertainment at my expense as i waddle and crinkle around. The concept of combining chastity and cuckolding with diapers is a powerful image - perhaps being put to bed early in diapers while she is going out on a date, knowing she will be having sex while i'm impotently left diapered and chaste. It is comforting knowing that she is getting the pleasures she needs from the company of a real man, while her diapered cuckold is safe and sound in bed and will be well rested to serve her again in the morning. This all stems back to childhood, when i would try to get diapers anyway i could, at any chance i got. When i finally found my old cloth diapers in the back of a closet, i pinned on the thickest diaper possible, sat down and rolled back and forth on them, it felt wonderful. i remember thinking "now what?", as i sat diapered, wishing for something else to happen, but not knowing what it was. i'm still wondering... Diapers provide a sense of security and comfort to me, and i am trying to learn more about the different ways they can be used to control and modify behavior. i enjoy a lot of the same tools and s used to bring up a baby, particularly when they accent the little girl side, as when i am diapered, i also enjoy feminine garb. Wearing dresses where diapers peek out from below, feeling the tight grip of pantyhose or tights, and the wobbling in short heels is a thrill. Enjoy being femmed, including diapers and dresses for the humiliation and control.
i am otherwise a healthy, happy, and somewhat intelligent person, who just happens to have some unique kinks. i keep myself active, and am height/weight proportionate, and am working on dropping 10 lbs. i get to the gym, or run 5 days a week, and am always moving around on the others. My vanilla interests include cooking, cycling, running, fishing, camping, the ocean, and woodworking. As Red Greene says: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy! If you want to converse further, you can reach me on Y! as kirababy2

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8/5/2017 2:36:55 AM
Saw 174 yesterday morning, a slow but steady progression.  Funny how it is hard for me to see it, but others are commenting on weight loss.

7/4/2017 3:47:18 AM
Happy 4th of July to everyone, hope some of the "fireworks" are inside!


5/21/2017 2:21:57 PM
Back down to 177 after a run today.  Hopefully, can stay healthy and continue running through summer.  The result will be worth it.

2/4/2017 3:30:02 AM
Looking forward to a couple quiet diapered hours later today.  Cloth or disposable as i relax and do some chores around the house?  Pink dress or onesie?  

Lots to think about...

10/27/2016 6:44:48 PM
Scale stared back at me with a blinking 178 yesterday morning.  Now to keep it in this range.

9/5/2016 3:44:57 AM
Long process, but saw 181 on scale yesterday, getting closer to seeing the 70's again.  Nice that people are starting to comment about weight loss.

8/28/2016 3:56:15 AM
Learned something about myself today:

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
98% Submissive
97% Girl/Boy
94% Rope bunny
90% Ageplayer
85% Degradee
70% Slave
67% Non-monogamist
58% Experimentalist
48% Brat
48% Voyeur
48% Exhibitionist
45% Primal (Prey)
32% Masochist
24% Pet
18% Vanilla
6% Switch
4% Daddy/Mommy
2% Degrader
2% Dominant
2% Rigger
1% Master/Mistress
1% Owner
1% Primal (Hunter)
0% Brat tamer
0% Sadist

7/13/2016 2:29:58 PM
Decisions, decisions, cloth or disposable tonight? 

Perhaps start with a disp for the evening, then go to cloth for the overnight?

Such a difficult decision?

3/22/2016 8:56:11 AM
Is there a reason that most new profiles seem not to fill out the interest fields?   Or is there something wrong with the way the site renders on my computer?

2/27/2016 3:42:39 AM
Think i'm experiencing my first bout of diaper rash.  Not as painful as i'd heard, but OMFG does it itch.  Worst part is like poison ivy, except that it feels like no matter how much i scratch, 2 seconds later it itches again, and it is impossible to find and scratch the spot that itches.

Literally have scratched enough to draw blood, and i find myself in the bathroom at work several times a day just to scratch.  Not really fun, but it does feel so good to scratch the itch, just wish it would heal.  Tough i know it won't heal easily if i keep scratching it.  Desitin and other ointments only seem to help a little. 

1/23/2016 5:00:44 AM
Saw 184 on the scale yesterday morning, the downward trend is continuing, a year ago it read 200.  Want to see 170's again...

Better diet and exercise sure are making things fit better!  Maybe i'll drop to a M from L.

8/8/2015 8:28:49 AM
Just put on a thick cloth diaper, and as i sit here, have that old feeling of "ok, now what?"  Probably time to go listen to some hypnosis files and enjoy relaxing.

2/16/2015 4:05:27 AM
Looking forward to spending an entire weekend diapered.  Just concerned that i'll somehow chicken out at some point.  Have purchased a bunch of good disposables, and have plenty of cloth as well.

Hoping to spend some time with my hypnosis files and drift deep into bliss.

Open to any ideas and suggestions to ensure i remain diapered and don't chicken out.

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spanishheat
 
 Mistress, Age:  34
 Vancouver, Washington
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